A/N: Sorry that it's taking ages to upload. Doing my best, but inspiration and discipline are hard to find sometimes. Will try harder! Thanks for all the lovely feedback, follows and favourites. :-)

It was six P.M. by the time Veronica got to her father and Alicia's place. She looked at the lights and saw her dad and stepmom through the window, watching as Alicia laid a comforting hand on her dad's back. All of a sudden she had never felt more alone in the world.

It would be cynical and foolish of her to think that she had no one in her life, it most certainly was not the case, as had been demonstrated by the amount of people concerned for her today. Even Lilly, who had lost her own brother, made sure to offer Veronica a few words of comfort. Their little group of friends had been shaken and had been in touch with each other almost all afternoon. The memory made her smile and she felt her heart constrict at the happiness she felt right then, no matter how brief. Duncan Meg were still gone, and smiling didn't feel right.

It was an odd thing, losing someone like that. The world turned into an even more unfair place than it previously was for her, and it just didn't seem fathomable that everything moved on. People went out for ice cream, went for evening runs, went to the beach. And all she could worry about was how to navigate this new world where two of her best friends didn't exist anymore. Taking a deep breath to steady herself she got out of her car and made her way up the porch.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry," Alicia said, engulfing Veronica in a hug as soon as she walked through the front door.

Veronica forced a tight smile of gratitude and turned to see her dad offer a sad smile of his own as he walked over. "How are the Kanes?"

"They're all extremely shaken up. I know that Jake called and he's on his way to Neptune."

Keith couldn't even imagine what they must be going through, he didn't even want to imagine a scenario where he had to live without Veronica. It was enough to offset any trepidation he might have at running into his estranged ex-wife. It had been a while, and Jake could use whatever support he could get, especially from his wife.

"Well, do you wanna stay here tonight? Wallace is coming over tomorrow for lunch, and I think maybe you could use a day off."

Veronica shook her head, "thanks dad, but I'll pass. To be honest I just want to sleep in my own bed and distract myself as much as I possibly can."

"You need to feel these feelings though, sweetie."

"I know, and I will… I am. But right now I just need to keep busy, I'll go crazy if I just sit at home and do nothing all day."

Keith knew it was no use to argue with his daughter, so he steered them towards the kitchen where Alicia was preparing dinner and where he knew there was a glass of wine Veronica would appreciate.

The funeral was held on a sunny, California day; the one they sing about in that Mamas and Papas song. Meg and Duncan had been the type of people who always took full advantage of the beautiful weather and so it seemed fitting that the day was as glorious as could be. Veronica arrived with her dad, Alicia and Wallace and the three of them moved to greet Lilly, Celeste and Jake. Her mother had already taken a seat and Veronica maneuvered expertly around her. There was no point in creating a scene and an interaction with her mother was the last thing on her list right now. She knew it made her selfish considering the circumstances, but as callous as it was she didn't care.

The service passed and everyone gathered to go to the wake together. She spotted Logan in the distance, walking to his car with a brunette woman, she assumed that was the girlfriend Duncan had mentioned at the last of their lunches… their last lunch. She cleared her throat and focused her attention back to Wallace who has checking with her dad to see what the best way would be to get to the wake.

She thought it would be even worse than the funeral service, but it felt nice to swap happy memories with everyone there, cathartic even. She left that day feeling lighter than she had thought she would, determined to keep Meg and Duncan alive for their kids through all the fun, happy times they had together and the memories that those brought with them. She never even assumed that things would change so drastically for her in just a couple of days.

"Okay just breathe."

"I love you, but this is really not helpful right now. How am I supposed to take care of a ten-year and a six-year old? I am not a mother!"

"Calm down-"

"I am calm!" she yelled into her phone. She was pacing her apartment while holding a glass of Chardonnay in one hand, desperately trying to wrap her head around what the lawyer had told Logan and her that morning. It wasn't enough that it had been little under two weeks since her friend had died, but now she was being given custody of his two kids?

Mac was silent on the other end and she took it as her cue to continue ranting.

"And with Logan? I mean, really? And that stupid clause, you have to do it together or not at all. This is not a matchmaking service, what was he thinking?" she took a large gulp of wine and tried to calm herself down but it wasn't working.

"Well, I mean, he must've seen something there then."

"Whose side are you on?"

Mac laughed, "Implicitly always on yours. But there are no sides here. There's only a crap situation and two scared children that need to be everyone's priority right now."

She was silent for a moment as she mulled over Mac's words, not wanting to tell her she was right. But she knew she was, she always was. That's what Veronica loved about her, she was honest and blunt with her when she needed it. She always put everything in perspective.

"He wrote me a letter," she said after a few moments of silence. "The lawyer gave it to me; I just haven't had the guts to open it yet. Logan got one too."

"Do you want me to come over?"

Veronica sighed, "No, I think I need to do this alone. I'll call you if I need anything afterwards."

"Okay. When are you and Logan going to sit together to discuss the children?"

"As soon as possible, I hope. And anyway there is no discussion."

"No?" She sounded surprised.

"Not on my end anyway. Duncan asked me to take care of his children, and that's what I'm going to do."

"Okay."

There was a loaded silence between both women.

"You think I'm stupid?" Veronica asked, breaking the slight tension crackling through the air.

"I think you're admirable. Naïve, but admirable. Do you have any idea what this means for you? To be a parent?"

"Yes. It's all I've been thinking about since I got home. But… I spent an hour thinking of all the things I couldn't do anymore; go out on Fridays and get wasted, come home at 6AM and sleep until 3PM. And then I spent the other four hours thinking of all the breakfasts I would make for the kids, where I could take them on outings, how I would coordinate school pick-ups, how I could adjust my schedule to be there every day after school and help them with their homework. I want to do this."

"Well, you have my support regardless, and I know you can do it. And when you need help, 'cause you will need help – or a shoulder to cry on, a person to bitch to, and someone to drink wine with – you know I'm here."

"I know. Thank you."

They talked for a few more minutes and then hung up.

Sitting crossed-legged on her couch Veronica unfolded the piece of paper, she had never felt so heavy with anxiety before in her life.

Veronica,

It feels strange writing you a letter when I just saw you a couple of hours ago. And when you're reading this, it could be years later or a week later. And I won't be here, and neither will Meg. That strikes me as really odd.
That conversation we had, at out little seaside meeting point, about you and Logan made me - us - decide to take this decision regarding Summer and Phil. I can imagine what you're thinking right now, and I can imagine what you were thinking when you were first told. I can see the panic in your eyes as you try to remain calm, see the sadness in your face as you listen to the lawyer talk you through all the details. I know that it's a lot to take on, but there's really no one else I would ask.

When you can't be there to raise your own children, you choose someone who resembles you, and not necessarily the person with the most experience. You and I have similar personalities, despite our differences. I know it might have made more sense to choose one of Meg's sisters since they're married, but I want my kids to be raised by the two people I trust the most to do a good job. Two people that fit together the best, and will give my children the best upbringing because they were raised by two totally different but complementary people. Like Meg and myself. It's not that I think you couldn't do it alone. I do. You're more than capable and you were born to be a mother. Even though you might deny it.

But you and Logan are fire and fire. And where he is patient, you are impatient. Where you overreact, he remains calm. Where he gets frustrated, you manage to calm him down. He needs someone who won't take any bullshit from him. And believe it or not, but you two actually understand each other better than anyone.
You're an exceptionally strong woman. You're smart and funny and you have a big heart. You're sensitive and empathetic, even if you don't show that side to everyone. You don't take bullshit from anyone but choose your battles wisely.

Over the years you've become one of my closest friends and I trust you with this.
I know that it is a lot to ask. It's not going to be easy, it's going to be really hard, but you can do it. I know you can. And remember that there is no shame in it being hard and asking for help. I know you, and asking for help doesn't mean you've failed. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Just remember that mine and Meg's family are always there as well. Don't be afraid to ask them for anything. Raising children takes a village; I should know. Take care of my babies.

You got this.

And I got your back.

Duncan

Veronica hadn't really cried since the funeral, but in that moment she felt like someone had punched her in the gut and had knocked all the wind out of her. The reality of what she was about to do hit her hard, and she cried herself to sleep wishing she could do anything to bring Duncan and Meg back.

A shorter chapter, but I will try to upload much sooner, I promise! And include Logan finally. ;-)

Thanks for any reviews/feedback!