Shatter Me
Chapter 3
Andreas crashed into the cabin, startling Andriana who set aside her book of healing herbs when she saw the look on his face. He paced back and forth, fists clenching before Pride managed to use the distraction to take over.
Purple glowed violently from the mage's eyes, as several glowing points around his eyes formed the extra eyes that Pride demons carried.
"What happened?" Andriana asked, coming to stand in front of her demon possessed brother.
"They- no she threatened to send you away!" Pride hissed.
"Who is she?" Andriana asked, stepping again in front of the demon as he moved to start pacing again.
"The Seeker." Pride growled out, getting agitated again.
"You said threatened. I assume that means they are not now?" Andriana questioned now, again turning on her heel and stepping in front of Pride again. She kept her hand just barely touching her brother's sternum. The more contact she had, the more she kept in his field of vision, the easier it was to keep the demon engaged and focused on her. She, with the utmost certainty, knew Pride would never hurt her.
"The Templar and the Sister Leliana said they would not allow it. The Not Orlesian also backed this decision. They thought Andreas and little sister were...lovers." Pride grumbled now, leaning a bit more into her hand.
"That's kind of gross." Andriana muttered, nose scrunching. "You said Templar? I assume you mean Commander Cullen?"
"Yes- your Templar." Pride murmured now, backing up slightly now. "Andreas doesn't like it."
"He's not mine." Andriana responded. "And it doesn't matter anyways. He was a Templar. We were circle mages. Now he's not a Templar- and we are not circle mages. We are apostates. Things have changed a lot."
Pride opened his mouth to respond back but there was a knock at the cabin door.
Both Pride and Andriana froze at the sound.
"Who goes there?" Andriana asked, heart in her throat suddenly.
"It is the Advisors." came an accented reply of Josephine.
"Oh shit." Andriana whispered. She turned back to Pride and forced him to look at her and said, "Time to go back Trolmanor."
Pride hissed and with a burst of purple light, the demon's hold was released.
Andreas crashed to the ground loud enough that the cabin door burst open with Cullen leading the charge. "What is going on in here? I felt something dispel!" He demanded.
"I'm sorry Commander. That was me disarming my wards. When my brother gets very upset, he has me place him in one so he can beat at it without harming anyone but himself." Andriana lied. "I had to release him since you were here."
"Good shield." Andreas groaned, rolling onto his back. "You make those things any stronger and I think you could stop a dragon in its tracks." He fell into his sister's lie easily and opened one eye to look at the not completely convinced Commander.
"Should I leave?" Andriana asked now, changing the subject.
"Ah, no actually." Cullen finally responded, reaching down to help Andreas up off the floor. "We came to speak to the pair of you."
Leliana closed the cabin door and walked in, taking in the pallet on the floor that was Andriana's bed, and there small stack of books that his sister had managed to borrow or buy for herself. "You are a healer?"
"I specialize in wards and healing talents, yes." Andriana answered. "May I ask why we have the honor of seeing you three? My brother was just explaining to me that my place in Haven was threatened?"
"Cassandra spoke irrationally." Leliana answered easily. "We apologize. It was rumored you and Andreas were involved- though it was assumed romantically. We were unaware of your blood ties."
"And that makes it better?" Andreas asked now, rubbing at his neck, eyes closed.
"Not at all." Josephine said now. "We have come to ask your sister if she would wish to be a little more involved? We were thinking she might share some of your duties when you are away."
"In what ways?" Andreas asked now, gazing down at the little diplomat.
"Well," Cullen answered now. "We thought she might help us when deciding how to handle the missives and jobs as they come in like you did today- when you aren't around. She could perhaps help Josephine with some things as well. Your sister... I'm sorry, it occurs to me that we don't know your name?"
"My name is Andriana."
"Well met, Lady Andriana." Cullen smiled. "But as the sister to Lord Trevelyan, you know him better than anyone. You might perhaps be able to answer simpler letters addressed to him or about him?"
"I leave this up to you." Andreas told his sister, setting a hand on her shoulder. "I should warn you I leave out at dawn tomorrow for the Hinterlands. I don't know how long I will be away."
"I would like to feel useful." Andriana agreed at last.
"Fantastic. We will see you off in the morning Lord Trevelyan. Perhaps your sister can join us then and she can come with me after you have left. We can begin to go over some of her duties?" Josephine suggested.
"That would be agreeable." Andriana answered with a smile.
"In the meantime, I will see if we can find you something better to sleep on then that pallet until your new bed arrives." Josephine prattled as she left the cabin with Leliana following.
"It was nice to meet you Lady Andriana. I am truly sorry if words said earlier caused you any distress." Cullen told her as he bowed slightly at the waist. He gave a salute to Andreas, a fist clenched over his heart, before he turned too and left. The Commander closed the cabin door quietly and the room was silent once more.
"Well... That was something." Andreas groaned before he allowed himself to fall back onto his bed. His muscles quivered all over his body, as they were prone to do after Pride had taken over. It had been extremely hard to keep himself from collapsing in front of the Advisors. If they had noticed anything, they had kept it to themselves.
He felt his sister's cool magic wash over him as she cast a healing spell to help with the spasms. Her magic was a familiar thing that felt as natural as his breathing. While he wasn't as gifted in the healing arts as she was- over the past year he had learned. They had healed each other many times as they had been forced to fight and flee for their lives.
"I'm not sure how I feel about being called 'lady.' " Andriana murmured, sitting on the bed beside him. "Would it do any good to tell them that I haven't been a noble in sixteen years?"
"Best just give up on that. I gave them plenty of choices on what they could call me and they settled with Lord Trevelyan." Andreas snorted.
"Then again- could you imagine our parents' faces hearing that the Inquisition had us in it? That one of the head agents was being called 'Lord Trevelyan'?" Andriana snickered. "Think they would try again to get us to drop the name?"
"Probably more likely to get stuck on the original word that I killed the divine. Rather they believe or not- rather it was true or not- they will not want that scandal. I can only imagine they will pay good coin to have some messenger send a letter demanding the desist in sullying the family name."
"Well, enough of that. I am going to find someone who can bring you something hearty to eat so you can regain your energy. Rest for now. The morning will come soon enough and we will have to get up a bit earlier to braid your pretty locks." Andriana replied, standing and heading for the door.
Andreas snorted and picked up one of his dark auburn locks. He had annoyed many of the more senior enchanters with his refusal to cut his hair. Until he had gone through his harrowing and thus became 'a proper adult mage' in the circle, they had kept his hair pretty short. Once he had passed at seventeen, he had stopped allowing them to cut it. He had so little control over his life in the circle, it was the one freedom he grasped with both hands. A little over eight years later, his hair was near the small of his back, and still he had no wish to cut it.
Here he was, free of the circle, and he felt no more free than he did when he was within it. If anything, he felt like the bars were getting closer, and the chains tighter.
Andreas stayed knelt on the ground as Andriana's hands swiftly moved through his hair, gathering them up in a tight Orlesian braid against his head, and trailing down his back. When her hands came into sight, he handed her the leather cord she favors when tying off his hair.
"Please be careful brother." Andriana whispered once he stood. They both didn't even bother to pretend it was safety she was asking for.
"I will be fine." Andreas assured her, pulling her into a hug.
A brief rap on the door and it opened slightly to reveal the Commander. "May I come in?"
"Of course Commander." Andreas responded, releasing his little sister and turning to face the man. "What brings you to my cabin? The sun hasn't started to rise just yet."
"No, but I saw the lights come on a while ago and figured it would be safe enough to approach by now." Cullen commented, some bound papers in hand. The Commander turned to Andriana and bowed low. "Good morning Lady Andriana."
"Just Andriana please. I have a title by name only and nothing to back it."
"I will take that under advisement, my lady." Cullen smirked before turning back to Andreas. "I requisitioned these for you. A map of the Hinterlands, as well as some notable structures that are left behind. We know there are rebel mages and Templars thick in the area. These could easily be strong points or bases for them."
"Thank you Commander. This will be very useful indeed." Andreas agreed, taking the papers and placing them in his pack. "Something I can study when we make camp later too. Beats talking to Cassandra."
Cullen covered his face and turned away, an obvious grin. "She's not that terrible. She's just very...focused."
"Yes, well, shall we go wait for the little ray of sunshine at the gates?" Andreas asked, shouldering his pack and grabbing his newly acquired stave. Thankfully they had taken his height under advisement when crafting him a new one at his request. Though the top had a sculpted dragon and had sent his sister into fits about 'matching accessories'.
He had chosen to wear the dragon styled armor, feeling the need to make more of a statement than anything. Going forward, hiding away wasn't going to be as easy. But he could put on a mask as easy as any Orlesian.
The Commander led the way, followed by his sister, with him at the rear. Closing the door, he made the short trek to the gates and was relieved to see very few people around at this time of day. Solas leaned against the stone wall next to the gates, a small wisp floating above his head as he read from a book. Varric arrived moments before Cassandra with Leliana and Josephine following behind her.
The sun appeared over the mountains as the trio finally reached them.
"We wish you speed and safety on your journey, Lord Trevelyan." Josephine told him as she handed him a pouch of coin.
Leliana gave out packs of previsions to the four leaving- more than they had acquired the night before. "A shipment arrived late last night. The wagon fell behind due to a broken axle. They managed to repair it and brought some fresher supplies. I secured these for you."
"Thank you." Andreas murmured, taking his and placing it in his pack.
"We will be off then, if there is nothing else?" Cassandra asked impatiently.
Andreas ignored her and looked to Cullen. "Please ensure my sister's safety while I am gone?"
"You have my word." Cullen agreed with a salute again- fist closed over his heart.
"Be well and all of you come back safe." Andriana told the group. She embraced her brother tightly, allowing his answering embrace to calm some of her fears.
"I will see you soon." Andreas told her as he pulled away. "The Advisors will care for you while I am away. Maybe by the time I return you will have a proper bed." He joked.
With a jerk of his head, he and the other three turned and strode through the gates.
Only once they were long out of sight, and the Commander had stayed by her side the entire time, did she allow herself to whisper, "Maker watch over them all."
"Let us head to the Chantry, my Lady. You're shivering and we should get you something warm to eat and go over your new duties." Cullen told her, a hand gently placed on her elbow.
Adriana allowed herself to be led to the Chantry, where she was taken to an office. Josephine sat inside and had already acquired three hot cups of tea, some simple finger sandwiches and cuts of cheese and fruit.
A chair sat on the other side of Josephine's desk that Cullen directed her to. The trio sat and drank tea- Cullen seeming to force it down, while Andriana enjoyed the light floral fragrance of the tea. The drink did the trick in starting to warm her chilled body. She didn't realize how cold she was until the cup had clattered when she sat it down.
"Do you not have any cloaks to wear, Lady Trevelyan?" Josephine asked her, frowning.
"I'm afraid not. And I can't afford the ones the merchant is selling. Even if I hadn't purchased any books I still would have been short." Andriana answered. "It's why I barely leave the cabin much like my brother. I would leave to get things or gather some news. Maybe talk to Solas. But otherwise it was warmer and safer in the cabin."
"Your brother easily could have asked for one. We would have provided it." Josephine frowned again.
"My place was threatened here, just yesterday. Do you really think us to believe that?" Andriana answered with her own frown. "Not to mention my brother and I have had to rely on each other since he was eight and I was but six. Who do we go to for help? I have never even held physical coin in my hand until a little but a year ago when the Ostwick circle fell. It's been...difficult."
"We shall get you some clothes immediately. Cloaks, new undergarments, gloves, and some warm boots." Josephine prattled off while she grabbed a sheet of parchment and began to scribble. "Is there anything in particular you want? Colors, styles, materials?"
"I want pants." Andriana blurted out. "I've been wearing dresses and robes all my life. I want to wear pants. I want something that won't weigh me down when wet, or slow me down should we need..."
"To run?" Cullen finished for her. "I have given my word to your brother that you will be safe. Your brother is safe here. There is nothing you will need to run from, trust me." He gave her the same salute he gave her brother.
"We can certainly get you some made though, Lady Trevelyan." Josephine soothed the situation. "I think we should get you some things made in greens, blues, and brown. They would compliment your eyes and hair very much."
"I will leave all that to you." Andriana murmured. "I know nothing on fashion. Just as long as its warm."
She was still trembling, though she was slowly warming up. Her feet and hands were the coldest. Her nose and ears tingling but seeming to warm up a bit faster thanks to the tea.
Cullen frowned before removing his mantle and placing it around her shoulders. "Wear that for a bit and warm up."
Josephine watched in amusement as Andriana's face began to glow, but didn't argue as she wrapped the red fabric and fur around her.
"Thank you Commander." Andriana murmured, face burying into the warm fur.
"Just Cullen is fine, Lady Trevelyan." He answered in response.
"Quite so, we are your brother's advisors, and now, your's as well." Josephine told her. "I believe we can all be on a first name basis."
"Then I am just Andriana. I, like my brother, don't care much for titles or honorifics. I have none." She directed this more at Cullen, her eyebrow raised.
"I shall still take that under advisement, Lady... Andriana." His gaze was mirthful though he kept a straight face.
The door to the office opened and Leliana walked in, a small pack of papers held within her hands. "And now we can begin going over your duties."
Leliana took one look at Andriana's current choice of fashion and raised a small eyebrow at Cullen.
The man in question rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.
"Ah! Leliana! We are going to send for new clothes for Lady Andriana. She requests pants and leaves the rest to us. I am thinking blues, greens, and browns given her eye and hair color."
"I would argue the colors of the Commander's mantle are agreeable too." Leliana jested. "The proof is there."
"Do you think?" Andriana asked, looking at the cloth and fur wrapped around her. "It is very warm. I like it."
Cullen groaned at the glint in the other two advisors' eyes. The poor girl didn't realize they were having a joke at his, and by some small part, her expense as well. He didn't doubt for a moment that he would see Lady Trevelyan walking around in something very similar to him. "You might give people the wrong idea." He warned.
"Are you saying you wouldn't welcome the thought of courting Lady Trevelyan?" Leliana teased.
Andriana turned red and sank further into the fur, though her eyes were on the Commander's face.
The Commander, in return, blushed himself. "I never said...I didn't mean... Oh Maker, please stop."
Leliana laughed with Josephine. "We will stop teasing you, Commander."
"Thank the Maker." Cullen muttered under his breath, though he blushed again when his eyes connected with Andriana's.
"To business then?" Josephine asked the assembled group, taking the stack of papers from Leliana. "As we explained yesterday- your brother will help us make decisions. However, when he is gone, these things will pile up easily without anyone to act upon them. We will bring the more simple matters to you. Anything that requires 'the Herald's' direct attention will wait until he comes back."
"What sort of things can I expect?" Andriana asked, leaning forward.
"Some are simple questions about what the Inquisition hopes to accomplish, which I can take care of." Josephine said, leafing through the papers and setting those aside. "Some are questions pointed directly at your brother. We can go through those and if you can answer them, we will do so together. Others might ask of aid from us, and depending on what they ask of us- we can answer or hold them off for your brother to make the decisions."
Andriana leaned forward and took a paper Josephine had placed closer to her. "Oh!" She said in excitement as she read over it. "A Dalish clan has heard that we are in need of mounts and are offering us one of their Harts in support! I've read about Harts! I cannot wait to see one in person! Do you think I could get riding lessons on one?"
Leliana and Cullen shared a look over her head before Cullen came forward and took the paper. "I will personally see that this Hart is delivered to us. I will also ask around for anyone who can begin training you to ride."
Andriana grinned so broadly she thought her face would split. The curling of the Commanders own lips made it feel she could smile wider still.
"This one is most interesting as well." Josephine placed another paper in front of Andriana.
Andriana picked it up and said, "I've heard rumors of the Black Emporium. Now they have extended an invitation...to my brother and I? How would they know?"
"When I was stationed in Kirkwall, we had constant raids looking for that place and never could find it. They've always had a knack for staying a few steps ahead of everyone and everything." Cullen also took the paper and read over it. "I have a few Kirkwall natives that could more easily navigate a response, if you would like me to take care of this as well."
Andriana nodded. Thus far, her job was seeming easy. And the Advisors were really easy to get along with. It was also very easy to see why her brother trusted them far more than Cassandra.
The day continued in much the same fashion- with her asking opinions and then giving out the missives to whoever seemed to have the best response. In return, the Advisors seemed to trust her decisions as well. Toward the end of the day, a tailor had even showed up and taken her measurements for new clothes. She was left with a pair of pants and a top that, while not tailored to her, were close enough to serve her while her new garments were created.
It wasn't until the very end of day that she realized she had worn the Commander's mantle all day, and he hadn't even asked for it back when he left. Embarrassed, she left it with Josephine to return as the woman grinned at her.
Andreas sat by the fire at camp, and though he worried about his sister being left alone- he felt a strange sort of calm about it. As if he knew she was okay.
He gripped the gruel in his hands, taking bites but not really tasting it. It wasn't that it was bad, he was just distracted as Pride kept scanning the area around for things. It kept distracting him momentarily when the demon borrowed his senses.
"So you were hiding your little sister in the camp all along?" Varric broke him out of his thoughts.
"Something like that." Andreas answered, placing a bite of gruel in his mouth again. "I feared for her safety if anyone knew we were directly related. Seemed that was unnecessary. People formed their own wrong opinions of the situation."
Cassandra let out a disgusted tone and turned slightly away from the pair.
"Your sister has an amazing grasp of healing talents and wards. I imagine in time she will be an expert in her field." Solas said, sitting on the log across from the fire and joining the conversation.
"My sister probably could have passed her harrowing at fifteen. She was always the more studious of us. She found her niche area of study early on. I think mostly because of how her magic manifested." Andreas answered. "Some of the older enchanters even said they could see her becoming Grand Enchanter in her time."
"And you don't think that was an honor?" Cassandra asked, at hearing his tone.
"I want you to imagine that you are taken so young- you can barely remember what your family looked like. Your pet cat- was it orange and white or just solid orange? It had orange, that much you knew. Was it male or female? What did those flowers smell like that grew in your mother's garden?" Andreas responded. "And then you are placed in a stone building- a prison that always smelled slightly damp, even in the driest of seasons. You only get short amounts of time outside, for health reasons. You go in small groups, with nearly triple the Templar's watching you so you cannot escape. A massive metal gate separates you from the outside world. Stone walls thicker than I am tall. Then you get told maybe one day you will be the most important prisoner in that building?"
"Surely it cannot be that bad." Cassandra dismissed. "You are warm, fed, and clothed."
"And your friend who wasn't quite as talented at magic as you- gets turned Tranquil. It wasn't their choice. They just weren't as good as you. Doesn't matter that they never hurt anyone. Never had an outburst. Never consorted with demons or used blood magic. They just weren't as good. Then the next day- they are not them anymore." Andreas hissed. "A girl you were sweet on, but could never be anything more- is pregnant one day. A Templar forced her, she says- tears that won't stop falling down her face. She gives birth. That baby is taken away and then she is tranquil next. Tranquil don't say no- you know?"
Andreas tossed his gruel out of his bowl no longer hungry. "Do you know that our family name- the name that my parents wanted to strip from Andriana and I was the only thing that saved Andriana from having something similar happen to her? They don't touch the 'important' ones. That might draw too much attention."
Solas stared into the fire hard, and Varric stared across the fire at the Seeker with an expression that suggested anger and disgust. Cassandra stared at the fire as well, not looking at anyone.
"I will take first watch." Solas said suddenly. "Why don't you rest Andreas?"
"I am going to take a walk first." Andreas muttered before grabbing his stave and disappearing into the shadows of the trees. He hadn't made it very far but knew that the Seeker had followed him. Couldn't have him running away, he assumed.
He only stopped when he got to a river. He stopped at its frozen banks and listened to the silence around him. Trees groaned under the weight of the snow, and every once in a while, you would hear a wolf howl or a bird let out a call.
"I seem to have a knack for saying the wrong things around you." Cassandra said behind him.
"I think you say exactly what you mean and feel." Andreas retorted back. "How could you ever find fault in the system created by the very people you work for?" He turned and faced the Seeker now.
"I know there are faults in the Chantry." Cassandra murmured. "I know some things will need to change if we are to continue forward but-"
"But those changes won't have anything to do with freeing mages." Andreas cut in.
"I believe the circles are necessary." It was a simple stated fact that set Andreas teeth on edge. He wanted to absolutely throw a fireball at the Seeker.
"Mages like I, who have squeaky clean records, passed our harrowing, are treated no different than those who would do bad. You don't think I, or my sister, deserve some normal life? A chance to hold real jobs, own a home, marry, or have children?" Andreas asked. "Some tried the theory that if mages cannot reproduce then there would be no magic. But we see new people all the time in the circles."
He stalked closer to the Seeker with each word, until he looked down at her.
"I have met mages that deserved everything you explained. But how do we decide which ones are worthy and not?" Cassandra countered.
"So its all or none?" Andreas spat back. "I've had enough talking to you. Leave me be Seeker."