From the moment Jax and I made it home from the wedding, I did what I do best.
I needed to create a distraction.
My way of distraction?
Sex.
I led him to our bedroom and gave him the longest sex session him and I have ever shared with one another.
Well, so far anyway.
Even though last night, and most of this morning , was absolutely, positively phenomonal, the reason behind why I did it caused me to feel some serious bone rattling guilt.
This was my way to keep Jax's mind off of the interrupted conversation we were about to share last night.
Remember?
The one where I was about to tell him about the letters John wrote to his other love of his life Maureen, revealing some hefty truth about his family?
Yes, that conversation.
I'm starting to back pedal on the decision to tell him what I have discovered while he was inside.
Right now, everything is what I envision as perfection.
Excluding the ovarian cancer, of course.
Our family is whole again and the club has healed while being behind bars for fourteen months.
We've finally found the light that we knew laid within the neverending tunnel.
If I tell him what I discovered, this metaphorical well lit tunnel will automatically go black once again.
But if I don't, what kind of wife does that make me?
A lying piece of shit one. That's the catergory I'll unfortunately fall under.
With his short blonde locks completely disheveled from the sexual romp he had with his wife and no clothing concealing his body, Jax slowly sat up in bed and looked over to the right side of him, expecting to find Mel still sound asleep due to the amount of "work" she put in last night.
Her side of the bed was abandoned.
Jax turned his head, directing his attention to the bathroom connected to their bedroom.
The door was slightly open, allowing the steam from the water's shower to creep on into their bedroom.
He pulled the covers back and away from his body , setting his feet onto the bedroom floor.
Ignoring the minor aches and pains coarsing throughout his back, he got up from the bed and made his way over to the steam filled bathroom.
He pushed open the door, smiling at the sexy sight displayed in front of him.
Jax shook his head in disbelief that he could call this woman his and bit his bottom lip, eager to see more of Melanie's naked body.
The only way he could do so was to join her and that is exactly what he did.
Jax pulled open the shower door, quietly closing it behind him.
He wrapped his arms around my bare waist, pulling me flush against him.
"Good mornin', darlin'. Or should I say good mornin', my energizer bunny because what you did to me last night..and for that long... There's no other way to explain it," he stated as he began kissing the left side of my neck.
I smiled, keeping my back to him, letting my head fall back against his muscular chest.
"There is a way to explain it."
"That you're from a whole other world or a different dimension?"
"Ha, did you, Jackson Nathaniel Teller, just quote Katy Perry?"
"No.."
I finally turned around to face him.
"You did! I would've never pegged you of all people to listen to Katy Perry."
Babe, I don't listen to her, I just happen to hear her music from time to time which is completely out of my control."
"Sure it is, baby," I replied, patting him on the side of his face with my hand.
"Can we please change the subject or start over to where I just got in the shower?"
"Will that make you happy?"
"Yes."
"Then I will be happy to do oblige on both accounts...this time, that is. "
I cleared my throat as I wrapped both of my arms around his neck.
"Good morning, Teller. How'd you sleep?'
"Jesus christ, it was the best sleep I've had in fourteen months. How 'bout you?"
Shitty, because of what I have to tell you.
What's running through my mind is eating me from the inside out, and its feast is speeding up the longer I put this revelation on the back burner.
"Same here. I knew I missed you, but I didn't realize how much I missed you until you pulled into T-M with the club yesterday. Now that I have you back home with Abel and me, I almost don't want to let you out of my god damn sight," I breathed, resting my forehead against his.
He smiled, giving me a tender kiss on the lips.
"You always have a way with words, Melanie Torres."
"It's Teller."
"I know. I just love to hear you correct me."
Jax walked me backwards until my back was pressed against the wall.
"We have about a half hour till Abel wakes up. How 'bout we.."
I cut him off by sliding my hand to the back of his neck, pulling his head forward until our lips finally met.
"Already ahead of ya," I replied as he lifted my body off into his arms.
Dressed in a scratchy irritating hospital gown, I set my folded clothes on the counter a few feet away from Jax and I.
With assistance from my husband, I hopped up onto the hospital bed.
Jax stood next to me, leaning against the bed, taking hold of my left hand.
Once our fingers interlocked, he lifted my hand, kissing the skin inches away from my wedding ring.
The closed hospital door opened, and my doctor entered the room with his signature smile and a pretty thick yellow file with my name on the aged tab.
"I see you've brought new company, Mrs. Teller," Dr. Carver stated, giving Jax a friendly smile.
"I did. Dr. Carver, this is my husband."
He raised his brows in surprise.
"So, this is Jax. Melanie has told me a lot about you."
"All good I hope."
"Anything but. I'm just kidding, of course she has," he replied, setting the file down on the counter next to my clothes.
"I haven't been around for the start of her chemo, and because of that I do have a few questions."
"That's completely understandable. Go ahead. Ask away, son."
I bet that Dr. Carver really regretted that statement.
A few questions was truly an understatement.
My man did an endless sensus.
I have literally laid back onto the hospital bed and kicked my feet up, listening to him ask questions that I didn't ever think of asking, and I'm the one with cancer in my body.
When I thought we reached the end of this q and a, I sat up and smoothed out my gown.
"I have one last question."
And back to horizontal position I went.
"Sure."
How many more treatments do you think Mel will have to have until she's cancer free?"
"I can't say for sure, but I would say less than four."
Jax looked away from my doctor and gave me a huge smile that nearly made me burst into tears.
"Now if you don't mind son, I'd really like to start your wife on her next round of treatment to get her that much closer to being a hundred percent again."
With Abel inside the living room watching television and macaroni and cheese brewing on the stove, Gemma started cleaning up the cluttered kitchen table layered in his coloring books and crayons.
As she moved the first book in her eyesight, a small piece of paper flew out of it, falling right at her feet.
She quickly picked it up and began to read what was on the small piece of wrinkled paper.
Dear Jackson,
The truth you should know is in these letters.
You should know John like I did.
-Maureen
Gemma's eyes widened.
"Oh my god."
She walked over to her purse, retrieving her cellphone, dialing Clay's cell number.
After Jax went with me to my required doctor's appointment, we went our seperate ways.
He had club business and I was in desperate need to vent to my best friend so I decided to make the trip to Cara Cara's new studio just outside of Stockton.
I got out of my car, removing my favorite sunglasses from my face.
I entered the spacious building, coming face to face with Ima for the first time since we duked it out in the clubhouse kitchen.
She stopped dead in her tracks, immediately breaking eye contact with me.
"Hey Ima, your new nose suits you," I smiled back at her as I made my way to Britt's dressing room.
I knocked on my best friend's cosed door and she opened it before taking her seat back in front of the vaniy mirror.
"Hey you. Does Jax know you're here?"
"Yeah, he knows," I said as I closed the door behind me.
I walked over to the leather couch, falling back onto it with force, causing it to slightly lift off of the ground.
"And he's cool with it?"
"Why wouldn't he be? It's not like I showed up here, asking for my old job back. I'm here to see you."
"What's goin' on, Mel?"
I sat up on the couch, propping my elbows up onto my thighs.
"While Jax was inside, some sensitive information fell into my lap about his family."
"What kind of information are we talkin' here?"
"Damaging."
"Jesus Christ. And Jax has no idea?", she asked, turning her chair in my direction to look at me.
I shook my head.
"No, and it's killing me trying to keep this shit under wraps. But in the same breath, I feel like letting the truth seep out will cause more wreckage."
"Mel, let me ask you this. Would you rather tell Jax what you've discovered and have it rip up the newly repaired foundation within his family or have him find out later, with him also finding out you were aware of the secrets that were buried, that you failed to come forth and tell him about? Which one sounds worse to you?"
"Honestly, they both sound equally fucked up."
"You have to choose. Door A or Door B?"
I let out a shaky sigh.
"Door B."
"It looks like you've just made your decision. You're taking door A. You need to tell your husband."
Once my non- profit( though I should really pay her) therapy session was over with Britt, I headed home to relieve Gemma.
I unlocked the door to my home, finding Abel asleep on the couch in his bathing suit.
Gemma peaked around the corner from the kitchen with a forced smile on her face.
"Hey, how'd the appointment go?"
"Good. My doc said I'm a couple more treatments from being cancer free," I replied, walking over to the couch to cover Abel with the blanket that lays on the back of the couch.
"That's great sweetheart."
"Yeah, it is. I take it all was well here."
"Always. After he went swimming for a bit, he ate and passed out in front of the tv."
I strolled into the kitchen, heading over to the freezer to look for something to defrost in time for dinner tonight.
"Mel, is there anything else you need to tell me?"
I turned my head to look at her.
"No, why would you ask me that?"
"Really?"
She walked over to me, placing the cover note that Maureen wrote on top of the kitchen counter.
I sharp lump instantly formed in my throat.
"Where'd you find that?"
"It fell out of Abel's coloring books. I pressed Jax about these letters, and he didn't seem to be aware of them."
"Well, he's telling the truth. He doesn't know about the letters. Not yet anyway."
Gemma took hold of my right forearm.
"You're seriously not thinking about giving them to him, are you?"
"I am and I will."
"Mel, those letters could set things off with Clay again. Is that really what you want?"
"I want my husband to know the truth," I whispered, yanking my arm out of her grasp.