47

It was cold despite the warm climate, he found himself inadvertently shivering in the dark. He stalked towards his target, his footsteps ghosting over the wooden planks leaving wet imprints. He could smell the tang of brine in the air, taste the salt on his lips. He inched closer straining his ears as he tried to listen for any signs of movement but it was hard over the constant roar of the engines. What exactly was he doing here again, in the dark alone? He spun round, His mind was fuzzy, he didn't like it. Why did It feel like he'd been here before? That nagging sense of déjà vu that was growing in intensity. His hand squeezed tighter around his gun; he could feel the coldness of it through his gloves the balanced weight of it giving him little comfort.

Had he blacked out? He suddenly found himself looming over a man on his knees, his faced obscured in shadow. Some one was shouting- the tone hostile, he realised with a shock it was his own voice, he didn't even know he was capable of such malice…...

His head rolled forwards before he was slammed against something, he suddenly felt afraid, the confidence of earlier having fled entirely. Gold irises stared deep into his soul, he tried to move but he was frozen, why…...why couldn't he move! His arms, his legs they were no longer his to control. His body was frozen in time as his eyes roved wildly in panic. No! No! His breathing quickened, he tried to calm himself but he couldn't as he started to hyperventilate, the last thing he saw were those molten amber eyes. A brilliant white light assaulted his eyes as he tried to force them shut.

"Hello Gordon it's your Father, can you hear me?"

It sounds like I'm underwater but yes, I can hear you. His ears popped.

His father didn't reply. Why not? I just said I can hear you! Gordon raised his voice.

A sigh, the feeling of a slight depression on the mattress as something took hold of Gordon's hand. It was his dad's hand. He felt sure. Why can't I see him?

Gordon strained and tried to get his brain in gear to move his fingers. The effort exhausted him as he fell into a stupor.

"Not a lot has happened this week, John got into a bit of trouble on the survival exercise at the academy. You're not going to believe this but John stumbled on a bear trap and was rescued by Alan!"

Wow…. what do you know…? My little kid brother the hero! Bet he wants a medal.

"Virgil managed to get in contact with Scott which is a relief. He's worried about you - (Why?) and wants you to know that he is trying his hardest to get back here to see you for himself but he's got to finish his tour. Couple more months then he can come home."

God this conversation's frustrating! Why can't I answer? Its making me tired, I can barely stay awake…...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXXOXOXOXO

They were both on parade, stood side by side as they formed up in full-service dress uniform on deck. The Admiral was assessing them with a critical eye. He tried to subtly draw himself straighter. He prayed his hat was on point - it had a tendency to slip. The Admiral looked him up and down before walking on with no comment. Gordon inwardly relaxed as he maintained his posture. He and Glenn gave each other the side eye both acknowledging their relief. They were given the order to march out as they about turned on their heel a whistling hissed passed Gordon's ear. Glenn fell to his knees and then onto his front, a pool of red oozing onto the steel grey deck. "Nooooo!" Gordon broke formation and flipped Glenn over. Grey bloated puffed skin and cloudy sightless blue eyes stared back at him with a slack jaw. Gordon pushed Glenn away off his lap in horror and scrabbled backwards across the floor yelling, everything was dark now, except for the light that shone on them. This isn't real, this isn't real! Gordon clamped his hands over his ears to escape the sudden assault of noise. Beep, Beep, Beep. A sound like air rattling through a tube inhaling and exhaling. Gordon could see a nurse, looking at a monitor away from him. "Hey!" he ran up to her in a hospital gown and tried to grab her shoulder. He was shocked when he found he couldn't touch her. He waved in front of her face nothing! "I'm here! Right in front of you dammit! Why can't you see me!" He was in such a panic he roared in her face, there was no denying he wasn't there and yet she looked right through him and walked out the door! Gordon felt himself go limp and slip away once again.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Hey Gordon, its only me Virgil – Dad's gone to get a coffee for us. I've been talking to one of the nurses and they are pretty sure you're going to wake soon, they said I should try and talk about things that are familiar to you, then they mentioned familiar music and I thought I'd play for you, well a recording I did last night of your favourite film soundtrack. It's the pirates of the Caribbean theme which you would call classical, I beg to differ but I agree it's a nice piece. Lots of flair and drama – I can see why your drawn to it." Gordon could picture the quirk play across Virgil's' lips.

The sound of a piano filled the room, Gordon could feel it as his mind hummed along to the familiar tune – adding his own flourish to the score here and there. He was soon lost to the music the sound providing a calmness he'd not felt in some time, he could feel the tension leave him. It was one of his favourite pieces he imagined he was Jack Sparrow, just him and his ship sailing the seven seas looking for adventure and fortune.

His fingers twitched to the beat. At home he loved to pretend to be an overzealous conductor, standing on the baby grand and usually getting sworn at by Virgil.

"Oh my god! Gordon! Can you hear me!" Virgil voice had risen several octaves in shock.

God! why was everyone asking him this? He'd been trying for what felt like weeks Yes, I can hear you! you idiot!

His fingers spasmed again.

Gordon jumped as he heard what he suspected was chair legs crashing to the floor. He felt a hand on his. "Gordon if you can hear me, squeeze my hand."

Gordon did as he was told. Virgil gasped; he didn't know what to do! Gordon was responding! He looked around the room and sighted the emergency button, he stretched to press it not wanting to let his brother's hand go.

"Oh Gordon. I'm so happy I could kiss you!" Virgil exclaimed warmly.

Ewww! Please don't!

He didn't squeeze Virgil's hand. But he fluttered his eyes. Virgil caught the movement. The door opened and a doctor and nurse rushed in.

"I… I played him the music like you said and he… he moved his fingers! Or at least he tried!" The nurse gently pulled Virgil away from the bedside to allow the doctor to pass. His hand slipped out of Gordon's. Gordon didn't like the fact he was gone, he reached out again, his eyes forced themselves open before closing again.

"It was weak but I felt him, he responded, he's awake, isn't he?" Virgil looked at the nurse for reassurance. She bent down, her blonde ponytail flicking forwards over her blue scrubs as she picked up his chair and sat him in it gently "We'll know more in a minute, you did the right thing in calling us". She soothed.

"Gordon?" Can you hear me? this is Dr Wilson. Try and open those eyes for me again if you can."

Gordon felt his eyelids forced up, he looked directly at the Doctor. Fuzzy but he could make out thick black rimmed glasses and warm brown eyes. Suddenly a bright orb filled his vison causing him to flinch inwardly. "Pupils are equal and reactive to light." The Doctor commented. "Good Gordon well done. Gordon, you had an accident and are in hospital. You've been unconscious from your injuries so we just need to do a short assessment now you are awake. Once I've done this, I will be able to explain a little bit more." Gordon felt… really out of it. He tried to speak but just kind of choked. He contorted the fingers on his right hand. Dr Wilson noticed. "Gordon, try not to panic for me, I know it must be really disconcerting right now. You have been asleep for a while and had to be sedated as we needed to use a ventilator to treat you. You won't be able to talk right now or move much but we will aim to get you off it as soon as we can now we know your awake. We are just going to rotate your head a little that's all but we'll have to hold your eyelids open for you at the moment just until you get your bearings." Gordon's hand clawed inwards awkwardly, the dexterity not quite how it should be. He was really scared. He heard soft voices then the only one he was really interested in. "It's ok Gordon, its Virgil I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He felt a warm hand squeeze his, he settled a little.

Taking this as a good sign, the nurse got herself in position behind the bed. Virgil was anxious, he couldn't see what they were doing but he didn't want to get in the way either. He held on to his brother's hand firmly but calmly as he quietly softly gave reassurances. "Let's go to the left first please" the doctor indicated. He quickly but gently turned Gordon's head all the way to the right, the nurse moved with him keeping Gordon's eyelids open. Gordon's eyes travelled with the direction of his head. They paused before moving him back to the middle. Gordon's eyes remained smooth and coordinated in movement. "To the right." The nurse nodded. Again, Gordon's eyes tracked to the right to and then back again. "Excellent. CN3,6 &8 are in tact." Ok let's try down then up. They gently moved Gordon's head downwards then up. "Good, CN4 is also in tact."

"Ok Gordon, that was really well done and has helped us to understand your condition better. We are going to take you for another MRI now to see how things are looking and then we will have a pretty good idea on the next course of action."

His grip tightened surprisingly strong on Virgil's hand, he tried not to gasp in pain, he couldn't remove his hand it seemed Gordon's was stuck. "Erm…" Virgil pointed to his hand. "Looks like Gordon's having some trouble with his palmar grasp but that's not uncommon after the injuries he has sustained." The doctor gently released Virgil's hand. They got ready to move out his bed. Virgil stood out of the way. "Don't worry Gordon, Dad and I will wait here till you come back. Dad will be so happy to see you."

With a click, the locks on the bed disengaged and Gordon was wheeled from the room now surrounded by a full team. Virgil, not sure what to do followed them out. He found his Dad looking worried in the hallway. "Is something wrong? They wouldn't let me back in." Jeff passed Virgil his coffee as they watched Gordon disappear around the corner.

"Nothing's wrong father, he woke up!"

"When?!"

"Just now, I played him that recording I made last night and his fingers moved and his eyes started to flicker. They want to conduct some more assessments now he's conscious then they will update us."

They both sat down again, Jeff hated waiting and was more anxious then he cared to admit. Just how bad was this going to be? Since the doctors were pretty confident Gordon was going to need some kind of rehab, Jeff had already had several installations put in at home including adapting Gordon's en-suite to a wet room, thankfully they still hadn't repaired the damage from the testing of two until last week which allowed Jeff to make these changes at minimal cost/disruption. He had also had ramps installed on all the stairs and additional adaptions that he thought might aid Gordon's recovery including some hydrotherapy equipment in the pool. He was determined to do anything to help his son recover. He took a swig of his now lukewarm coffee before leaning against the wall and closing his eyes, knees slightly apart coffee cup resting in both hands. He was tired. He'd crossed several time zones to get back here only twenty-four hours ago after seeing John and Alan. He never used to get jet lagged but he was in his mid-fifties' now so he guessed he shouldn't be surprised. It was like being hungover at eighteen he could drink like a fish with no ill effects but by the time he was thirty he'd awake from a bender and feel like he'd been hit by a freight train.

Virgil was anxious, wringing his hands in his lap. His honey coloured eyes full of warm concern, eyebrows almost knitted together. What was taking so long? Gordon must feel so alone and helpless. He knew how fierce his younger brother was when it came to independence, he hated that he had three older brothers and a father to watch over him when he was more than capable of making his own way in the world. This was going to break him potentially. His career looked to be in ruins and his role in international rescue was looking unlikely. Even If he did recover fully there must surely be future repercussions that would be detrimental to such a physically demanding job? His phoned pinged. He pulled it out of his pocket. Hey Virg, any news? S

"Who's that?" inquired his dad at the message alert.

"Who do you think? Its like he has a sixth sense, maybe he should be a medium rather than a pilot."

"Go on; see if he can take a call, he'll want to know." Virgil nodded and fired a quick message back. Call me if you can, I have news.

The phone buzzed instantly. Jeff smiled as Virgil passed the phone over. "Hey son. You ok?"

There was the noise of jets firing up in the background and shouting. "Yeah, got a few minutes then I've gotta be in the air. Virg said there was news." Scott shouted above the din as he headed into the mechanics quarters, it was slightly quieter in the office. Luckily it was empty. They could hear a door slam shut.

"Gordon just woke up, Virgil was with him." Jeff placed the call on speaker.

"That's fantastic news! The best I've had all damn day!" Scott sounded relieved.

"Its still early days, they are assessing the severity of his injuries now with an MRI and additional tests, we're just waiting for them to come back."

"Well, give him my love and tell him I'm pleased to have him back in the land of the living! How did Virgil get him to wake up?"

"Well, I wasn't sure it was me Scott. I played him that pirates of the Caribbean theme he loves so much."

Scott laughed. "He always complains about your taste in music, It seems you managed to push his buttons for once."

"I guess so" Virgil smiled at his dad.

"Well I've gotta go, getting close to the mission objective now, if I pull this off I could be home by the end of next week."

"Bye Scott."

"Good luck son, God's speed."

"I'm gonna need it! See you on the other side all being well."

He hung up. Now Jeff had something else to worry about. There was such as thing as out of sight out of mind or at least always on the periphery of his mind. If he fretted the whole time his sons were on tour, he would have had a heart attack along time ago but hearing the jets in the background and Scott's choice of words told him his son was going into direct combat. He wished he was overseeing the operation himself, he hated being left in the dark. Gordon being injured had stirred anxieties that Jeff hadn't been consciously aware of. Guess he knew how his family had felt now when he was galivanting in the air force and space.

Virgil nudged his Dad as Dr Wilson strode back into view. Jeff drummed his fingers on his leg as he approached. "Thank you for waiting, will you follow me to the office? I'd like to discuss Gordon's condition with you then you can go and see him." They both stood in silence as they followed the Doctor a short distance to a private consultation room. They sat down and waited for the Dr as he pulled up some reports on his tablet. "Okay so let's start with the good news. Gordon's Cervical vertebrae, the top one's here" The Dr pointed to the image on the tablet. "Are all in tact and undamaged as is the spinal cord in this section. The two breaks he has sustained – both located in the lumbar region are both healing incredibly well and I am confident that they will continue to do so. The problem we have is that the spinal cord is still very swollen in these areas where its been pinched and frayed between these broken vertebrae. The lumbar region in particular is responsible for all the nerves related to the lower legs, knees, sciatic and reproductive organs. We have conducted extensive reflex tests as well as the MRI. At the moment Gordon has Hyporeflexia which means there is no reflex response when stimulated. Gordon's Hyporeflexia extends from his midriff right down to his feet so at this point in time sadly Gordon is classed as paraplegic." The Doctor looked at them sympathetically waiting for the news to register.

"So, what your saying is Gordon is paralysed from the waist down?"

"Yes."

"Do we know if this is temporary or…." Virgil trailed off he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"The good news is we are hopeful its only temporary but its not an overnight fix and he may never recover the full use of his legs but we hope to be able to get him more mobile than he is at present through a range of treatments including physical and occupational therapy as well as mobility aids as we discussed previously."

There was another awkward silence. The time in the room seemed to slow. "Does he know?" Jeff asked.

"Yes, he was panicking about the tests and becoming distressed at the ventilator so we removed it and I explained to him the extent of his injuries. He was able to tell me he remembered the accident but the details were sketchy. Its not uncommon, the memories will most likely come back in time."

"Can we see him now; I don't think he should be alone." Virgil stood anxious to see his brother.

"I understand, of course you can, spend as much time with him as you would like but remember he's been through a lot his body is still very damaged and he is still sedated to help him with the pain and the trauma, he needs rest."

"Of course, we'll stay as long as he needs us and we will be sure to encourage him to rest. Thank you for what you have done so far Doctor. As I mentioned earlier you do what you need to do to help my son recover to his fullest potential just add it to the bill."

"Yes sir." Dr Wilson saw them out.

I'm paralysed! From the waist down this can't be happening. Gordon watched the corridor pass in a haze as he was transported back to his room. He knew it was bad when the Doctor was testing and asking if he could feel this or feel that but he couldn't feel a damn thing. Where movement had once been as natural as breathing, he was now immobile. He found himself willing his feet to move, straining with the effort of trying to make his feet twitch but nothing happened. He started to lift his arms in panic, finding those worked just fine now the sedation had worn off a little. He scrabbled at his neck he couldn't cope with this tube any longer it was so invasive he felt like he was drowning and he couldn't speak. A Nurse gently grabbed his hands as another re-sedated him. He had blacked out. When he had woken up, he found the tubes had been removed, his throat scratchy and painful. That's when the Doctor explained about the paralysis. That's when he had cried, the nurse gently wiping his tears as he was still too groggy to reach up himself. He pulled himself back to the present time being wheeled down the corridor, bright lights above causing him to squint. His eyes weren't used to the light anymore, it hurt.

A door opened and he was ushered back into a room, little did Gordon know he hadn't been out of that room for nearly four weeks. He couldn't sit up he had to remain on his back because of his spine but at least he could talk now, to him that was progress. He had to take it one step at a time if he was going to pull through this. "W-where is Virgil?" he managed to strain out, his voice raspy and raw from lack of use and damage from the tube. "I think they are outside do you want me to get them for you?" He nodded it was all he could manage. He tried to swallow and found the sensation felt alien to him. He coughed. God this was shit! He took a moment to work out what he could new within these new limitations he was experiencing. He turned his head slowly taking in the whole room. He could see a costal portrait of a beach, a plant pot on the window and what looked to be Virgil's jacket slung forgotten over the back of a chair. He twitched his fingers a lot more in control of them now and successfully wiggled his shoulders but he couldn't lift his arms. He guessed he must be suffering a degree of muscle wastage which wouldn't be helping. By the time his family walked in he was already debating his next steps and forming a plan of action. Like the fact he needed to report in to his commander. How much did they know and what had they told his family? A new pain washed over Gordon as he remembered Glenn's fate, the memory assaulting him like a battering ram. Tears flowed anew. He wished his tear ducts were paralysed as he tried to furiously wipe his face on his pillow before his dad got too near.

"Gordon! I'm so relieved to see your awake." Jeff pulled a chair close to his bedside but far enough down that Gordon wouldn't have to strain to see him. Virgil smiled as he took a chair next to his dad on the same side.

"Dad" Rasped Gordon. "Virgil, thanks for the music bro, always manages to wake me up even if I don't want to."

Jeff leant closer so he could hear. Years of jets and shuttle take-offs had prematurely knackered his hearing. Gordon used to have competitions with his brothers on how loudly they could discuss their antics and not be heard in their father's presence. "Your welcome, we just spoke to Scott he's happy to hear your awake too and sends his love."

Gordon nodded. Good to know his big brother was still ok. Jeff saw the red marks around Gordon's eyes, he took his hand. "I'm not going to say much because I know you won't want any fuss but I want you to know we are here for you Gordon and we have access to the best treatments and equipment for you."

"Thanks Dad... Dad has Commander Mason been in?" Gordon wheezed and hacked harshly, his whole-body racking with the cough. Virgil looked anxiously at the exo-suit protecting his brothers healing spine.

"Yes, she has and was singing your praises even if she was also politely telling me what a rouge you were. You didn't really change her office sign to the female WC one, did you?"

Virgil's laugher chimed through the room. "You didn't!"

A ghost of a smile flickered across Gordon's face. "I cannot confirm or deny… does she know it was me?" He whispered.

"In her words, I have no proof but I still have strong suspicions even to this day." He grinned wider at his dad's words. Jeff shook his head. "I should have known they wouldn't have managed to discipline you fully."

"Can you let her know I'm awake. I …. Would…. Like to…see her at some point." Another wheezing cough.

"Sure. Look son, as wonderful as it is to be talking to you again, I don't think it's doing you any good. You look tired, why don't you rest and I'm sure the next time you wake your throat will be less raw." Just then a nurse entered and came in to check his vitals. She adjusted the volume of meds before smiling at them and vacating again.

"Ok, but I only just woke up. I think I've slept enough for a year."

"A coma and sleep are two different things. Do you want us to stay? Visiting hours end soon but the Doc said we could hang on."

"Yeah if you don't mind, just for a bit." He drifted off peacefully, the sedation finally getting the better of him.

Jeff and Virgil settled deeper into the chairs, Jeff checking the news reports in Kuwait and Iraq. Virgil put his headphones in and brought up Clair de lune as he closed his eyes allowing the music to absorb him and absolve him of his anxieties for Gordon's condition and Scott's latest mission. They remained that way until visiting time was over.