"What have I done." I asked myself. Yes, I went on the Europe tour, but I didn't go to make my life more difficult. I am only human. What Ty just found out is my fault for not letting him know exactly what happen between Ahmed and I. Watching him drive out of the yard the way he did, lets me know I will not be able to just apologize. I need to show him how much I love him and that betraying what we have was not something I planned while away. I do know this is what I have done to our relationship. We were engaged now we aren't even together.
Spartan. I need to go ride him and see him I haven't made time to see him much since I have been back. He is the only one at this point who won't criticize me for anything I have cause; to make my life to take a different course. This will only help the rest of my day to go faster. The fact I allowed myself to accept that kiss from Ahmed and not stop him in any means; makes me wonder what exactly wrong with me. I have to be crazy. For me, not knowing why I did it makes me think maybe there are feelings that I don't even know I may have for him.
I'm never going to forgive myself for this. I have my entire family at odds with me. For some reason every single one of them is thinking I am a different person Georgie is at the point where she doesn't want to talk to me for what I have done. She feels as though I betrayed her as much as betrayed Ty. While Grandpa doesn't really want to say anything, but I can tell he is upset with the situation. While my father and sister haven't been around, this letting me know that this is my fault and I will need to fix this on my own this time.
The next day
"Hi, Amy." Georgie said to me in a dull voice while I'm walking in the kitchen. I see how this is going to be. Someone must have talk to her about having to be nice to me when I am around her. I need to just get my breakfast and go on to begin my day as I should. Not worrying about what she really wants to say to me. It will be easier for me to deal with by ignoring her as much I can possibly can.
"Hi, Georgie" I mention back to her. Hopefully this will help everyone know that we are being civil to one another. I know I have broken a lot of trust in the last couple days and right now there isn't anything for me to do to fix what I have broken.
Jack walks in the kitchen taking turns looking at one to the other. "Hey girls. Are either of you going to clean the barn today? I haven't seen Caleb around to help out. We need to get things back on track. I don't want to be the one picking up all the slack that's not being done around here." He says as he is pulling out the wooden chair from the table to take a seat.
"Sure grandpa, I'll go clean it right before I do the hundreds of other things that needs to be done around here." I now realize I probably shouldn't have just said that. I am already walking on eggshells around here, and this probably just made everything ten times worse than before.
"Amy, I was only asking. I did not need that attitude first thing this morning. I understand your life is not what you expected when you got back from Europe, I need you to know one thing; this house and farm is not owned by you. You are going to know things here needs to be done. You will be part of this while you get the other work done as well. Do you understand, Amy?" Jack's face is red as a rose and I know I need to what is best for Heartland. Fighting with him first thing this morning is not the best answer.
"Grandpa, I will be outside if you need anything else from me. Considering this is how things are going to stand for me and anyone. Don't bother calling me for lunch or dinner I will handle that on my own." I explained as I'm heading to coatrack to collect my black jacket to start my day.
I don't even bother to listen to anything else that is being said between Grandpa and Georgie. I am not in the mood to listen to anyone else and what they would like to say to me at this point. Seems as though maybe I should have stayed right in Portugal. It is too late for that. Maybe it is not too late for a fresh start to reset the direction of life.