Tommy didn't sleep. Not one single wink.
Has there ever been a time when Tommy felt like the worst fucking person that had ever walked the planet? He couldn't possibly be the worst, could he? There were criminals, dictators, and terrorists that lived and breathed before him, but what he did to Kimberly seemed right on par with those assholes.
How the hell did he let himself get so carried away… and then fucking reject her? He didn't want to. God, he didn't want to stop kissing her until his tongue had tasted every square inch of her body. Her skin was like vanilla, as sweet as the damn pastries she loved to bake so much. He wanted to strangle any guy that had come before him; Anyone that had the luxury of tasting her passion and ruined it, because they always did, especially that jackass in Florida.
It didn't matter, though. That shouldn't have happened. He shouldn't have been so reckless to begin with. Kimberly deserved someone that could give her their all, and he was in no position to do that for her. If this had been another time then he would have gladly given her everything she wanted, but he couldn't be that person anymore.
The shakiness in her voice as she said goodnight to him was a punch to the gut, more painful than his dive into the Indian Ocean. She asked him to jump for her, to take a chance on them… but why couldn't he? Why was it so difficult for him to admit that he wanted her as badly as she wanted him? It didn't matter anymore. What was done was done and now he just had to move forward. He couldn't be what she wanted, and he couldn't do anything to change it. They could just pretend like last night didn't happen and things could go back to normal. She would eventually find someone that could offer her all of the things that he couldn't give. However, that thought had him wanting to put his fist through a wall. Fuck that guy! Whoever he was.
The light from the sun was starting to trickle into his bedroom, illuminating it. Kimberly and Kylie had already been up, as evident by the rustling in the kitchen and the savory scent of something cooking.
Maybe she had realized it had been a bad idea too and things wouldn't be awkward. Maybe he was just trying to fool himself into thinking it didn't mean as much to her. His thoughts didn't get any clearer in the shower. Usually that's when he did his best thinking, but all it did was tell him he had made a mistake. Her taste couldn't be washed away.
The walk to the kitchen was like a death row inmates walk to an electric chair, slow and with impending doom.
Kimberly was cleaning up around the kitchen and Kylie was eating an omelet in her usual chair over at the table. Kylie had her hair done in a high ponytail with a braid thrown in there. How the fuck Kimberly managed to do that, he will never quite understand. God, he felt like an even bigger piece of shit, if that were possible. Kimberly had gotten his daughter ready for school, she was feeding her something that didn't come out of a cereal box, and had somehow managed to do it all without it looking like an F5 tornado ripped through his house.
Tommy cleared his throat, announcing his entrance, "Good morning, ladies."
"Good morning, daddy," Kylie smiled before stuffing another bite of the omelet in her mouth.
Tommy managed to catch Kimberly working on a spot on the counter, completely ignoring his existence. How was it possible that she had gotten even more beautiful overnight? Her top dropped loosely off of her shoulder, revealing more of her neck, the same area he had been nipping at the night before.
There was a moment he thought that maybe last night had been a dream, but when she turned and he caught the faint bruise on her neck, it told him otherwise. There was a sick part of him that wanted to smile. Fuck, now he felt worse.
"Did you guys sleep okay?" Tommy asked, hoping to break the painful silence in the room.
"I did," Kylie spoke up, "I had a dream I was on a cloud!"
Sweet. Innocent. There wasn't a bad thought in her little world. Her dreams revolved around rainbow and sprinkles. Life hadn't shown how ugly it could be yet, and he would do anything to protect her from heartbreak. Unfortunately, he knew he couldn't, but he would try. He'd protect her from assholes like himself.
"Wow," Tommy smiled, "I wish I could have been there with you."
Kylie wrinkled her nose at her dad but continued eating.
It was at this point that he realized Kimberly hadn't even acknowledged him. Was he stupid to think she wasn't upset?
"Kim?" He asked and she looked up briefly, "Did you sleep okay?"
"Mmhm," She nodded and turned her back to put some dishes in the dishwasher.
Yes, he was stupid.
"Do you need some help?" He motioned towards the dishes. He figured she pretty much had everything under control, but he wanted a reason to talk to her, to hear her voice.
"Nope," She returned, flatly.
Was last night really that bad that she needed to give him the cold shoulder? Abso-fucking-lutely! She was humiliated, hurt, deceived, all in a matter of minutes. She had been denying her feelings for Tommy for so long, ignoring what was right in her face. Last night meant something to her, more than she thought it would. It crushed her that he didn't feel the same way. Things were complicated, obviously, but it wasn't like she was asking him to fucking marry her. She didn't have expectations or wanted anything from him. She just wanted to give in one night. He wanted her as badly as she wanted him, and he couldn't deny it.
But if he wanted to pretend like the night before didn't happen, well, she would have to do it, even though she didn't want to. It didn't mean that she would forget it, because she couldn't, but for his sake, she would try. It didn't help that the hickey on her neck wasn't going away. She had tried massaging the area, twisting the cap of her lipstick on it, applying makeup over it, but nothing worked. It was just sitting there, mocking her for being an idiot.
Maybe he didn't deserve to be iced out by her, but she wasn't the best at hiding her feelings. If she was hurt, there was only so much she could do about it.
Kimberly finished cleaning up quickly, doing her best to stay out of the way as Tommy made his coffee. Being near him was a little uncomfortable and she didn't remember the last time things had been like this. He was right, they had worked too hard to get to where they were and they just ruined it in under ten minutes.
If there was one thing she hated about her short stature, it was that she could barely reach the top cabinets. Even the tips of her toes couldn't offer her the extra height to place the clean plates away. That was also Tommy's fault. How inconsiderate to think that everyone could reach those fucking plates. Sure it was his house, but… okay, maybe she just wanted a reason to still be pissed at him.
Ah, yes! Tommy straightened out a little. A reason to be needed. He walked over, feeling like a knight in shining armor, the one he had been to her once upon a time.
"I've got those," he said, and there was a smugness to his voice.
If he got any closer she was going to punch him.
She said nothing to him. His proximity to her was insulting. How dare he walk around trying to save the day? Puh-lease.
The only thing stopping her foot from going up his ass was Kylie.
"All done," Kylie announced as she skipped over to the kitchen, empty plate in hand. "It was really good. Thank you, Aunt Kim."
"Glad you liked it, kiddo," Kimberly smiled back at her. She was the only thing bringing a smile to her face. "Do you want to go ahead and put on your shoes so we can head out?"
"Yes!" Kylie practically sprinted out of the kitchen to grab her shoes.
Kimberly followed behind, she still needed to grab a few things before they needed to head out. She was determined to make today a good day, despite everything that happened the night before. Although she had to remind herself she was doing this for Kylie.
"Hey, Kim?" Tommy called after her, softly grabbing her by the elbow.
She sighed and then turned to see his hands on her arm before facing him, "Yeah?"
Tommy swallowed, feeling his heart pick up, "Are we okay? You know, after last night?"
She almost laughed in his face.
"Last night didn't happen, right?" She returned, trying to keep the knot in her throat. She had cried enough the night before. No more tears for him, not ever.
Her words were like a slap to the face. She was furious. Dammit.
"Kim, come on, you can't honestly be upset about it," He tried to keep his voice low enough for Kylie to not overhear.
Kimberly pulled her arm back, straightening out her top, "If you still need a ride then I suggest you hurry because we're gonna be late."
She left him there, standing with his lips slightly apart. What the fuck was that? How could she possibly not see things his way? He had apologized, he explained why it was a bad idea— hell, she had agreed that it was a bad idea in the beginning. It wasn't like he wanted to reject her. Still, there was a huge part of him that didn't blame her. If things had been reversed, he was sure he would be doing the same. Just another thing to add to the complex life of Tommy Oliver.
"Bye, Daddy! Bye, Aunt Kim!" Kylie waved as she skipped to her kindergarten class. The backpack that she was carrying was entirely too big for her, making Kimberly giggle at how tiny Kylie looked.
This was a nice break from the tension in the car. Kylie had been chatting up the whole way, retelling them everything she and Ava had done the day before, she was the opposite of her dad in that aspect. Where Tommy was usually quiet and reserved, Kylie was very friendly and outgoing.
Now that Kylie had been dropped off at school, the silence in the car grew. All Kimberly could do was grip her steering wheel tighter and try and get to Reefside Medical as soon as possible. The idea of baking was the only thing she was looking forward to. It could be her time to unwind and rethink things over.
Tommy hadn't been making any more attempts to talk to her and that was perfectly fine by her. There was no point in forcing a conversation that both were dreading.
"Just up here to the right," He said, pointing to a light coming up.
She nodded, turning exactly where he told her.
The large medical building came into view as they turned the corner, appearing taller the closer they got. Kimberly found the nearest empty spot and parked her car. Hopefully this would be close enough so that Tommy didn't have to walk far. Although a small part of her wished she could just run him over and break his other leg.
"Let me know if Jason changes his mind and you end up needing a ride," Kimberly told him, but she never once turned to face him.
Tommy's hand was on the handle, but he never got out. He was wrestling with his thoughts, trying to make some room in his head to have an open and honest conversation. He couldn't just leave like that, could he? It was tearing him up inside that Kimberly was upset with him. He needed something— some justification that told him that what he did was the right thing. If he explained why things couldn't move forward, then maybe things could go back to normal. Maybe she didn't know it yet, but it was for the best. It had to be.
"Can we talk," He asked, as he sat back in the seat.
He was going to be late for his appointment, but that didn't matter to him. Right now, the only important thing was to resolve whatever was going on between him and Kimberly.
She felt her eyes slip close. Not right now.
"There's nothing to talk about," She returned, finally looking at him.
She saw a man that hadn't slept, a man that needed more than one cup of coffee to function properly, a man that appeared to have had a long conversation with himself the night before. Good. He deserved it.
"Come on, Kim. What are we doing?" He sighed. "This isn't like us."
Of course it wasn't, but things weren't going to go back to normal overnight. They couldn't.
She crossed her arms, "I'm just doing what you asked of me, pretending like nothing happened."
What a load of bullshit. He could read right through her, but he needed to hear her say it.
"You're not acting like nothing happened. Why are you pushing me away?"
Wasn't it obvious?
"Because," She practically yelled at him, "I don't want to pretend like nothing happened!"
He allowed a breath go by, then two, "Why not?"
She had replayed the night before over and over again in her head; His soft lips on hers, the husky moans in her ear, the firmness in his pants.
"Because last night meant something to me…" She was almost afraid to admit it, but what was the point in keeping it in now? "I just wish it meant something to you too."
Another punch to the gut. Had he really made her feel that terrible? God, he was horrible at reading women.
"Kim, that's not true," His expression softened and he reached out for her hand, "Last night did mean something to me."
His touch was like a warm hug, and it felt entirely too good to pull back.
She shook her head, "Then why do we have to hide this? Why can't we see where this goes?"
"Because," He sighed, "We can't. My life is too complicated right now with Kylie and work… I can barely function half of the time. I can't give you what you deserve."
Why couldn't it be up to her to decide what she deserved? Why was it left for others to decide for her?
She felt her eyes roll, "What do I deserve?"
The world. Everything that he couldn't provide for her.
"Someone that can give you all of their attention, put you above anything else, someone that can take you to dinner and show you off, because God knows I'd love to do that. Someone that can support your dreams in Paris or anywhere else in the world," His hand moved to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking the smooth skin. "I can't give you the family I know you want. Do you know how badly I wish things were different? That I could be the guy you come home to every night! But we cant. I have to think of Kylie. I have to put her needs and wants before my own. I have to be her dad first. Keeping you with me wouldn't be fair to you."
"I don't have expectations from you, Tommy. I know Kylie is the most important thing in the world to you— she should be, but that doesn't mean that you have to neglect yourself. I just want to mean something to you."
His forehead came to rest on her. Maybe that was a bad idea. He was entirely too close and the alarms in his body were telling him to stop before he did something stupid, but he was frozen.
"You mean everything to me," He whispered.
When the tears began to pool in her eyes, she didn't attempt to hide them. She was doing what she never did, putting herself out there. She knew pain, she had been hurt and burned by men before, but this… this was worse. This was a friendship that was unraveling. How could she face him every day? How could she sleep under the same roof as him? How could she stare into Kylie's eyes and not see her father? It was one thing if their feelings had been one-sided, but they weren't.
She placed her hand over his by her cheek, reluctantly bring it down, "But not enough to take a chance on us…"
He sighed, bringing his right hand to the bridge of his nose. This wasn't going how he planned.
"Don't worry about it, Tommy," She pushed herself back into her seat, shutting him out. "You've made things perfectly clear."
Author note: Hey everyone! Anyone else want to punch Tommy as bad as I do? This story is not over by a long shot! We're just getting started. Hope you guys enjoyed this new chapter. More to come soon! Let me know what you guys think in a review or PM! See you next time!