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I am tentatively posting this as I think fan fiction is finally fixed! Thank you for all your reviews and follows!
Gordon held on to the bars, sweating with a mixture of exertion and agony. He was in a simple white T-shirt and grey joggers. Just standing like this caused his arms to burn as they took the weight his legs wouldn't support - well; weight he didn't trust them to support. He hadn't moved for a few minutes because of the fear of falling again. His physiotherapist Mark and his assistant Emily were either side of the bars ready to assist. Thoughts of the determination to succeed flickered through his mind as he prepared to do something that had once been as simple to him as breathing. One foot in front of the other, that was all he needed to do but It was hard when all you had to work with was paralysed limbs and crushed nerve endings. He gritted his teeth in preparation of the pain and tried to remind himself that pain was good. Before Christmas he barely felt anything below the waist; now he could feel a little. The first time he got pins and needles he'd cried; the sensation had been absent for so long just to feel something had been overwhelming. Now he felt the bed sores every god damn day. He grimaced at the latest shooting pain.
"Come on Gordon, try and move if you can." Emily brought him back to the present day. He tried to move his right leg first which was the most responsive one. He thought about moving forwards but his leg just trembled. He bit his cheek in frustration and tried harder. His foot pushed forwards across the floor in an awkward shuffling motion, he couldn't raise it fully yet. Sometimes he scuffed his toes, his coordination was completely off. He tried to weight-bear on it and pull his other foot forward but he overbalanced and fell for the sixth time in twenty minutes. He slammed his fist on the crash mat in frustration. Emily and Mark bent down to pick him up. "Again." Gordon demanded.
"Maybe we should take a break." Mark suggested.
"Again!" Growled Gordon already reaching out for the bars, his legs were previously bruised from yesterdays session but he didn't care. He needed to walk again, he wanted to be ready in time for the launch of international rescue in the late summer. Although he felt at home in the sea, he wanted to be able to walk again more than anything. He had always had boundless energy, a desire to walk, run and train as well as swim. To be so restricted! The frustration was killing him and in turn this led to an uncharacteristic short fuse, his frustrations quickly turning to anger.
Knowing it was best not to argue with him (Gordon Tracy was as stubborn as a mule) Mark gently reset him on the bars. He could see the irritation in Gordon's face, the way he crinkled up his nose and the hard stare. The usually warm amber eyes managing to look like molten lava. Mark could see why Gordon had been a formidable opponent in the field and how he had earned his reputation of being the leading man in his unit. Mark figured this was why Gordon had made such remarkable progress in such little time. This was a man who wasn't beaten easily, no matter what was thrown at him. "Gordon remember you have done amazing so far, you are the most progressive patient I have seen in the decade I've been in practice. The progress you've made in seven months is simply extraordinary. I've never seen anything like it and to be in the semi finals for a place in the Paralympics this summer? I'm pretty sure it's a new record."
Gordon flexed his fingers before tightening his grip on the poles, everybody said how amazing his progress was but it didn't mean anything to him. He'd only consider it extraordinary when he was walking unaided again and not before. The distance was a mere six-foot-long but it felt like sixty miles to him with the sheer effort he was having to invest into moving anywhere. This time Emily bent down to gently guide his leg, Mark the other. Gordon would usually protest at this but he was so tired he didn't object. He tried desperately to relax his mind. "Don't overthink it Gordon, just look ahead and imagine where you want to go." Emily's warm tone made her instruction sound like a suggestion. "Think of something or someone that you really want to go and see and picture yourself getting there."
Who or what did he want to see? He looked at the blank white wall. Chocolate cake? He snorted at himself, maybe not the right motivation he was an athlete now he had to be careful with what he ate, what about running to the sea surfboard in hand? Or imagining running away from Virgil after one of his latest pranks had been discovered. To feel the sand in his toes again! He smiled at that thought as he felt his legs being coordinated stiffly forwards below him. His smile was wiped off his face as he looked back up at the wall. Standing there leaning on it with his arms crossed was Glenn. Blonde cropped hair shimmering in the sunlight with a small amount of stubble across the lower half of his face. His green eyes watched Gordon and with a playful smile, the affectionate mocking smirk that said come on Tracy, I didn't have you down for a quitter! He quirked his eyebrow as if to prove a point. Are you challenging me? Gordon suddenly looked like he was far away, his surroundings forgotten. Emily and Mark had tentatively let go of his legs realising something had changed in him. They remained quiet, not wanting distract him as he stood still. His body posture was more confident now, his weight was spread more evenly. His arms no longer full of tension as he began to trust his weight on his legs. One-foot shuffled forward like a man does when blindfolded, tentative and unsure in themselves but recognising the need to move forwards.
Gordon was still fixated on Glenn in his W.A.S.P uniform at the end of the room. Glenn looked so…... calm? At peace? Certainly not how Gordon imagined. He blinked and shook his head. Nope still there. Glenn laughed then. Gordon could see his body shaking with laughter, just like when they had been training together, or chatting on the mess deck. Gordon didn't hear Emily's sharp intake of breath or see Mark's smile; he was too focused. His other leg shifted to align with his right. He wobbled but maintained his position. His right leg shuffled forwards a tiny step again, his left dragged behind a few delayed moments later. Glenn pushed himself off the wall and clapped, grinning before turning away he looked back one last time and made direct eye contact. "There's nothing to forgive Gordon." He smiled before fading out. "No!" Gordon called extending a hand and foot forward which caused him to topple. Mark was in front of him in an instant catching Gordon and up righting him, Gordon strained to see over Mark's shoulder at where Glenn had been but he was gone. His body slumped as his heart felt heavy. It was just an illusion, probably the meds but at least this time Glenn had looked at peace. Not like the Glenn that still haunted Gordon's worst nights.
"Gordon?" Mark looked at him worried, Gordon still looked to be in some kind of trance. He knew Gordon had episodes of trauma at points during his recovery; moments where he appeared despondent or panicky but they'd not been able to get to the bottom of why these occurred or just what he was remembering.
He focused on Mark. "What are we doing?" Gordon looked confused.
"Gordon look behind you." Mark was smiling as he and Emily helped turn him around. Emily then left him supported by Mark whilst she went to grab his chair.
Gordon's mouth opened in a small O shape as he took in where he was. He was nearly a third of the way down the poles! "Woah, I did that! I mean did I really walk that?!" he tried not to get his hopes up.
"Yep; we helped you the first couple of steps but the rest you did on your own. You did four paces Gordon! that's the most you've ever done in one!"
He looked at the distance again, a huge kilowatt smile burst across his face. "I did it! Oh my god! What are we waiting for? Let's go again!" All the tiredness and pain of just a moment ago faded as excitementtook hold.
"Gordon, you really shouldn't push it, we can try again in tomorrow's session - you've got training this afternoon."
"One more time please? I can do it! I know I can!"
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Gordon rolled over and groaned. He glanced at the glowing green clockface in the dark. It was 4am. He'd gone and done it this time. For someone that hadn't felt his lower limbs in months there was no denying the feeling now. Shooting pains and a constant gnawing ache plagued his hips and his knees. Everything was intensified. He tried not to cry; he still couldn't freely move his legs on their own into a comfortable position so he lifted them. He yelped as he stuffed a pillow in between his legs which helped a little. He took a swig of water along with the painkillers, technically he shouldn't have a dose right now but fuck it, it was painful. What he needed was a distraction. He could ring the bell and his grandmother would come running but he didn't want to bother her this early but he also couldn't lie here and wallow in this pain either.
He pulled his watch off the bedside table and scrolled through his most recent contacts. He stopped when he found the one he was after. He hoped to god he was available. It rang, that was a good sign. Gordon waited and waited almost giving up hope, eventually a face lit up the screen. The serious face of his eldest brother came into view, blue eyes radiating concern. A slight frown played across his forehead.
"You know; you shouldn't frown like that; you'll get lines and they can be really aging." Scott ignored the goading. Gordon liked pushing buttons, usually when he was trying to deflect attention.
"Gordon; You don't look so good, what's wrong? Another nightmare?"
Gordon sighed. "No thankfully those seem to be lessening. I'm just waiting for some pain killers to kick in I could do with a distraction. Just talk about the weather or something."
Scott could see the pain in the contorted features of his face. "Gordon have you called for Grandma?"
"Scott its 4am I'm not waking her up, it'll pass." He hissed at the sudden shooting pain.
Scott stared at his brother. "Alright then why don't you tell me how you got in this state I'm assuming you pushed it too far again."
Gordon glared at Scott, that's exactly what had happened. "You know you don't have to be such a smart ass. Yes, I did but It was for a good cause. I took four steps some of them unaided."
Scott's face lit up. "Wow! That's amazing news! Congratulations." Scott smiled, he wished he could have seen it for himself. He really did hope that Gordon would be able to walk again. The doctors were being cautiously optimistic.
Gordon smiled despite the pain, Scott was the first person he had told, it was good to celebrate his little achievement with someone. "Yeah it was pretty cool, I also did my fastest time so far in the pool a couple of hours later."
"Christ! No wonder you're in so much pain, you must be aching like crazy. I hope your going to have a rest day today." Usually Gordon would protest but seeing as it felt like both his knee caps had been shot that might not actually be a bad idea.
"I'll still have to do physio but I'll take it easy on the rest. I need to be in full shape for the weekend for the trials in Melbourne. Anyway, enough about me what have you been up to?"
"The usual, I'm just glad I'm not in the desert anymore. I much prefer the climate of Cyprus; it agrees with me at least, its actually chilly in the evening which is refreshing. Its calmer here too - touch wood; mostly reconnaissance and a lot less dog fighting at present." They had withdrawn from the old base after eliminating the hostile base because they were concerned about retaliation. Instead they flew over from the base here and continued to patrol the airspace. Scott's only complaint was his ass was sore from the uncomfortable seat of his otherwise beloved jet. Since flying thunderbird one he realised the comfort he had been missing out on.
"Good, I'm glad your somewhere safer at least while you're on base anyway. Have you handed it in yet?" Gordon was referring to Scott's resignation aware that there may be others around him. Scott knew exactly what he meant.
"No not yet. Things keep cropping up." Scott shrugged defensively.
"Scott, your leaving it a bit close, aren't you?"
"I know, I know. I'll get round to it at some point." He paused looking over his shoulder. He popped Gordon on mute and spoke to someone just out of view. He unmuted it and turned to face Gordon again, another face appeared leaning over Scott's shoulder.
"Mads! How's it going?"
"Ah look he remembers me! I told you I make an impression." he nudged Scott playfully. Scott smiled. "I'm good thanks, what about you kid. You recovering ok?"
"Meh, I'm getting there. I'm working on getting my legs back first then my sea legs."
"Sounds like a plan mate. You W.A.S.P lot never know when to give in, like cockroaches the lot of you."
"I'll take that as a compliment seeing as cockroaches are effectively indestructible."
Mads laughed. "Your brother always says you've got a comeback for everything."
"Yeah he always has to have the last word too." Scott added.
"Well its not my fault I'm the only one with enough wit to pull it off." Gordon grinned. The pain relief and company were finally starting to work. He missed this banter. Banter he would have been part of with his unit.
Mads smiled "Right, I've got to head back out. You keep that chin up kid. Your brother tells also tells me we might have an Olympic champion in our midst. I'll be rooting for you buddy."
"Thanks, I'll be sure to include you in my thank you speech."
Mads gave him a wink and a smile before waving off.
"Right, are you gonna be ok now? You look a bit perkier." Gordon glanced at the time it was 5am.
"Yeah I feel a bit better thanks. I take it you've got to go?"
"Unfortunately, as much as I enjoy our chats, I'm needed in the hangar - got a squad going up on a sortie in a couple of hours' time. Got myself a few newbies that need kicking into touch."
"I don't envy them; poor bastards don't know what's coming."
"Hey! Smart ass you quit your lip!" Scott looked affronted at Gordon's brazen cheekiness.
"What you were always bossy, you must be in your element now captain." Gordon winked.
"Seems their not the only ones that need to be reminded of the chain of command."
"What chain of command?"
"Gordon…." Scott put his head in his hand this is exactly what he had been saying to mads.
"Boss, give it up, your right he really is a cocky little jerk but you're not going to beat him."
Gordon laughed. Scott sighed exasperated.
"Goodbye Gordon."
"Goodbye Captain Bootlicker." Gordon replied with a twinkle in his eye and mock salute. There was a roar of laughter from Mads at the other end and the lasting picture of Scott's indignant expression as he hung up. Gordon was almost doubled up laughing before he yelped in pain. Ow it hurt but it was worth it. He felt much better.