Chapter five

Ana POV

That night, I jolted awake startled. Christian was sitting up in bed, scratching at his eyes and frantically waving his hands it into nothingness.

"No, NO!" He muttered incoherently.

Despite being disoriented, I quickly swept the army of pillows out of the way; they flew across the room like wounded soldiers.

"Christian, Christian, are you alright?"

Although his frantic movements had stopped, he was still visibly shaken. I gripped his shoulder, putting every effort into sending the comforting message, I'm here.

Christian drew his knees to his chest, put his face in his hands and wept. He sat there for a long time, never lifting his head. My arms wrapped around him but by then, he was wide awake and ashamed of me seeing him cry. It wasn't until I cradled his head in my chest that his sobs finally subsided.

"You had a bad dream? It's okay, tell me."

It took him a while to pull himself together. At last, he wiped his eyes and took a few deep breaths before speaking.

"It was horrible. I was at my father's funeral, it was so vivid I thought it was happening for real. He was dead. And the next moment, he was still alive, I saw him in his coffin with his eyes wide open. He kept calling my name. I grabbed a shovel and started digging but no matter how deep..." He trailed off, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I couldn't get to him. When I finally dug up the coffin I realized he was a skeleton, a living skeleton. He was talking to me like he was still alive but my mind kept telling he was dead, I'd been at his funeral."

"Oh, Christian... I'm so sorry!" I opened her arms to him and he fell into my embrace. We stayed like that for a long time until he was no longer hunted by the gruesome images in his head.

"I hate being a mess," he told me turning to peer into my eyes for the first time since waking up. Looking into his eyes, I felt a pang of sympathy at his raw- palpable grief.

Christian POV

I needed to pull myself together. I lay down on my pillow and stared at the ceiling. "My father is all the family I have left. The doctors have been telling me for months that there wasn't anything else they can do for him. I refused to believe it, I wanted to hang onto hope."

"I'm sorry," Ana said, deeply moved, her eyes full of tears. "My father died when I was five. He was sick in bed for many days. I remember going to see him and sitting by his bedside," she told me, grimacing at the memory and I reached for her hand.

She opened her mouth to say more, " I'm sorry, I can't really explain... my English."

"No, no. Your English is fine. Take your time," I said in awe of her, remembering how she'd said in her introductory video that she'd taught herself to read and speak English. I'd taken Spanish in high school with a native instructor and additional private tutoring, and it was still quite a challenge. Learning how to speak the language had been frustrating; my pronunciation was simply awful and no amount of practice seemed able to fix it. And here she was, this exotic beauty, able to speak a foreign language with only a very slight accent. It was mind-boggling. "Actually, your English is nearly flawless," I said, sitting up in bed and looking intently into her eyes.

The way Ana blushed at the compliment was too adorable. "You were telling me about your father," I prompted her to continue when she didn't immediately respond.

Ana POV

I knew I was blushing. Still, I gazed into his face, admiring the quiet and thoughtful expression he wore along with just the tiniest hint of vulnerability.

"Yes," I replied feeling like an idiot for gawking. I shook my head, forcing myself to stay on the subject at hand. "I meant to say my father held my hand and squeezed it tight. I didn't know it was the last time. I thought he was going to be fine," I went on with a new sudden onset of tears in my eyes.

Christian wiped my tears with the pad of his thumb. "That must have been so hard for you, you were so young."

I nodded. "It's still hard when I think about it," I said in a thin voice. "Tell me more about your father. What do the doctors think?"

"I hated seeing him go through chemo, it's been dreadful," he paused. "This thing...seeing a loved one go through an illness like this, it changes you...you know what I mean?"

Christian POV

Ana nodded, even though she really didn't know what it was like since her own father had died when she was so young. The memories of a child are not the same as an adult's.

"Going through something like this, watching someone you love go through a terminal illness changes how you see life. You no longer take anything for granted, believe me. So when my father expressed how much he wished he could live to see the day to see me married with kids, I thought who was I to deny him his peace of mind, his dying wish? So I started looking for someone on dating sites. I thought that maybe finding my better half would make him so happy he would beat this thing...that the hope of seeing his grandchildren would give him a new reason to live," he paused, his expression suddenly bright and dreamy. "And then, I saw you, Ana. From the minute I saw you on that screen, I knew you were the one."

Ana looked away. When she looked into my eyes again, I saw shame mixed in with regret. "But I'm not the virgin wife you expected," she said sadly.

I smiled a little, she sounded like a time traveler from a different century. "Ana, sweetheart, believe it or not, that wasn't one of my requirements."

Ana was surprised to hear that. She said that where she came from, virginity was a very desirable quality in females.

"But you can't possibly want me. I am damaged and I'm having another man's baby," she insisted.

I ran a hand through the back of my neck. Admittedly, I had mixed feelings about this pregnancy. While it seemed to work for my purposes, I didn't really like the idea of her having another man's child all that much. Still, I needed to get over my own selfishness. "When you go to see my father tomorrow, I want you to tell him you're pregnant. It will make him very happy."

She looked at me as though I'd grown horns on the back of my head. "You cannot be serious?"

"I am. Like I said, my father is dying, and right now his happiness is more important to me than anything. My birth mother was a drug addict. My parents came and rescued me from a life of misery. I can't possibly thank them enough for all they did for me."

Ana POV

I thought about what he said long and hard. There was so much she wanted to say but she didn't have the right words. "Where is your mother?" I asked in a quiet voice, not knowing, but suspecting that maybe she had passed away.

"Which one? My birth mother or my adopted one?" he asked with a sad smile. He went on before I could answer. "They're both dead. My adoptive mother, her name was Grace, she died shortly after I was adopted. After many years of trying to have children, she'd finally got pregnant, just a few months after I got adopted...and then she died in childbirth," he said with a long sigh.

"In childbirth?" I shook my head in amazement. This was the United States of America. I thought dying in childbirth was a curse of developing nations only.

"Hers was a high-risk pregnancy., I don't know the details. I never asked, my father never really wanted to talk about it."

"Did she have a boy or a girl?"

"She had a girl," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Where is she now?"

"My father...he gave her up for adoption."

I drew a sharp breath of surprise. "But...why?"

"My mother's death nearly destroyed my dad. He was a shadow of himself in those early days. He couldn't stand the thought of having their child around reminding him of his loss, it was too painful."

"And he never changed his mind?" I asked pointedly in disbelief. "He never tried to find her?"

Christian POV

Earlier, I had made it sound like Carrick had one dying wish, when in fact he had another dying wish, one that I had no intention of fulfilling.

"Well, he did change his mind eventually. A few months ago, he asked me to find his daughter but I haven't found her yet," I said, lowering my gaze. Admittedly, I could have done more to try to find my sister but in reality, I had given the task a half-hearted effort. "I've done all I can," I murmured. At least now I was trying my best to fulfill my father's second wish.

We were both quiet for a short while, thinking about this. I glanced at my phone, I needed to get ready for work. I wondered if she was going to be okay alone in the house without me. It was probably normal for her to have a little trouble settling in. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be in her shoes, living a new life in a foreign land, and I simply didn't know how I could cope. I needed to be in control of my circumstances to function.

"Did Elena give you a proper tour of the house? I'm heading for work pretty soon and I want you to feel comfortable here. Mi casa es su casa."

Ana POV

I nodded. I didn't feel I need to elaborate on my thoughts of Elena. I wished he hadn't changed the topic of conversation, I wanted to learn more about Christian and his family. Next thing, he was digging in his nightstand for something. He pulled out a cell phone. "This is for you. You can text me when I'm at work any time if you need anything."

"Hmm...What do you mean?"

Christian POV

There was an embarrassing silence. It hadn't occurred to me that Ana didn't know how to send text messages. Surely, she'd used a smartphone before? "Texting means sending short written messages using your cell phone."

I spent the next few minutes showing Ana how to do this and how to surf the internet. Right after that, I jumped in the shower, thinking he would later take Ana to see Carrick right before leaving for work.

Ana was still messing with the phone I'd given her when I came out of the shower a few minutes later dripping wet, and clad in a towel. I immediately went into the closet, fully aware she was checking me out. Because I knew she was watching, I purposefully dropped the towel, giving her a side view of my naked body as I looked for something to wear.

Ana POV

From where I was sitting on the bed, I got a partial view of him naked. It was enough to heighten all my senses. Lord, he was beautiful. Honestly, Jose couldn't hold a candle to him.

I heard him call my name. Lord, I was tempted to follow him in there but I felt a bit self-conscious. He'd turned on all the lights in the room and I felt the nightgown I was wearing was so thin and revealing. I certainly had never worn anything like this before.

"Yes, just a minute."

My suitcase was sitting on a chair beside the dresser.

I quickly slid into a floral short sleeve dress that reached right below the knee. It was one of the best outfits I owned. Suddenly concerned about morning breath, I grabbed my toothbrush and ran into the bathroom.

By the time I came out, Christian was fully dressed in suit and tie, his hair tossed and damp from the shower. He looked more handsome than ever sporting a boyish grin, standing in the middle of the walk-in closet.

"Come here," he murmured softly.

I hesitated before crossing over to the enormous space divided by an island in the middle, separating his clothing from hers. The island was full of shoes tucked in dividers and along the top, was jewelry all laid out on display. Hanging on her side of the closet was a variety of clothing arranged by color with the tags hanging.

Stunned, I covered her mouth with my hands and looked around in amazement.

"I hope you find everything to your liking, and they're the right fit," he said.

"This all so...beautiful," I said unable to come up with a more descriptive adjective. "Is this for me?" I asked, barely above a whisper in disbelief.

He smiled in response. "Ana," he murmured my name softly, bridging the distance between us, my senses overcome by the scent of his aftershave. "I don't want you to think of yourself as damaged. You're gorgeous and precious to me, okay," he said lifting my chin to meet his gaze.

"But...what about the baby?"

"What about it? I thought I made it clear we will tell my father about the pregnancy and present him as ours."

I shook my head, uncertain.

Christian looked at me probingly. "I'm assuming that's what you want to do? You do want to keep this baby, right?"

I bit my lip. Why was Christian asking me this? I didn't think I had much of choice...unless he was talking about giving it up for adoption?

Christian POV

"Please don't bite your lip like that, Anastasia," I admonished. "It's a bad habit, it shows insecurity." Plus it also made me twitch, but I wasn't about to tell her that. After all, I was trying to sweep her off her feet, not scare her away.

"Yes, I'm keeping the baby ," she said in a resigned voice.

I nodded. I respected a woman's right to choose; I would be completely on board if she wanted an abortion. "Very well then. C'mon, let's go see my father," I told her, taking my hand in his. "Unless you'd rather change first?" I asked tactfully. Honestly, the dress she was wearing looked like it had seen better days and I wanted to see her wearing something more becoming.