Chapter seven

Christian's POV

We looked into each other's eyes for a very long time before I lowered my lips to hers again. This time, I lingered there until at last her lips parted and allowed me to explore her mouth gently but insistently. My tongue slid to that tender spot behind her ear, and she trembled against me. Oh, God, how I wanted her at that moment. My eyes closed as my lips crashed against hers like a powerful tsunami, the taste of her lips hot and needy as she pulled on the collar of my shirt until the top button popped open. It was then that I realized she craved me as much as I craved her.

"Christian, darling, I hope I'm not interrupting."

Elena cleared her throat. The sound of her voice broke us apart, it jolted me like wild wire. I never resented the woman more than at that moment.

…...

Ana POV

I followed Elena out of Christian's office. Per Christian's insistence, she was going to give me a tour of the house. She was smiling a lot and acting nice, and I was suspicious. She obviously had an agenda, I just had not figured out yet what she was up to.

She led me into the home library which was more magnificent than anything I had ever seen or could have possibly imagined. In my home town, there wasn't even a library. I never had a choice as to what to read; my reading materials were hand-me-downs. They were usually textbooks that schools were getting ready to toss in favor of newer editions. So, as you can imagine, I was in heaven.

While I browsed the many titles lining up the walls, she went behind the grand mahogany desk and sat down at the computer. For a while, she typed furiously away like a woman on a mission.

A long time passed, I don't know how long as I was absorbed in the amazing world of books, books that at first, I was afraid to ruin then just by touching them.

"I have someone who wants to speak to you, Anastasia."

At once, I whipped my head in her direction. I didn't understand. Who would want to speak to me over the phone? I knew no one in this country. I put the receiver to my ear.

"Hola? Ana?"

As soon as I heard the sound of his voice, my heart filled with joy. "Jose, Jose? Eres tu?" I laughed and cried at the same time; I couldn't believe it was really him on the other end of the line.

"Oh, Mi amor, como estas?" He mumbled and my heart melted. I told him I was fine and that my new husband was treating me well. Our conversation continued while Elena watched us with an unreadable expression. I barely paid attention to her, I was so focused on Jose and what he was telling me.

He was sorry, he said, he should have never agreed to this marriage. Admittedly, this was a little shocking to hear since it had been HIS idea for me to become a mail-order bride and not mine. I was too stunned to say anything.

"Te quiero mucho, vida mia," Jose said and my heart thundered with excitement and told him we were having a baby. After a long moment of silence, I heard him sobbing on the other end of the line. He kept telling me he was going to come over and be with me. I didn't see how this was going to happen since he was thousands of miles away locked up in a prison.

Once again he told me he loved me. There was a moment of awkward silence as I hesitated.

"Yo tambien te quiero mucho," I told him at last, all caught up in nostalgia and conflicting emotions. All I knew for sure was that Jose was everything, my lover, my best friend since forever.

After we hung up, my thoughts immediately drifted back to Christian.

I felt guilty for kissing him when I was clearly in love with another man. And yet, whatever it was I felt for Christian had the power to make me forget the love of my life. It was quite mortifying to think that if Elena hadn't come in when she did earlier this evening, I don't know what would have happened. As it was, I didn't have much faith in my own ability to ward off Christian's advances. I've been weak once already, allowing Jose to take me to his bed which went against my upbringing. I must admit, I'm attracted to Christian as much as I was once attracted to Jose, if not more. Attracted? No, I mean, I'm still attracted to Jose, I think. I sigh. Oh, God, I'm so confused.

"I hope you had a nice conversation," Elena said with a sly smile.

"It was. Thank you for making it happen," I said in a dry tone.

"You're welcome. It's been my absolute pleasure."

It occurred to me right then and there, that this woman was certainly going to tell Christian about this, and I braced myself for whatever was coming my way.

…...

Christian POV

I tried to concentrate on work but it was hopeless. Once again I wondered about the timing of death. I was sick and tired of people telling me that it was God's timing. I still can't wrap my head around this-how is God's will supposed to be comforting?

The truth was, God's will was supposed to be coping mechanisms of sorts, a way to make sense of a horrific event, because if there isn't a reason for people to die, if there isn't a god who is calling people home or deciding it's their time, it's harder to understand, harder to accept. I get that. I still don't find it comforting in the least.

If life is a series of random events and the only mother who ever loved me died randomly when I was only five, and if now my father is randomly on his death bed, then life is a crap-shoot, a game of chance. And if you follow that logic, my father could have gotten sick ten years ago or ten years from now. The question then becomes, why now?

The bottom line? I'm angry. Angry at God, angry at life. Angry at my father. How dare he leave me before I have everything figured out?

Here I am debating the purpose of life when I haven't taken a philosophy course in years. I did take a psychology course during my freshman year. The professor had made a point about knowing the outcome of a particular event made people more comfortable. That was why New York had installed all those time clocks on their subway lines, he explained. Installing the clocks didn't make the trains come more frequently, but passengers could see when they were supposed to arrive, and knowing that they had to wait four to seven minutes made them feel less agitated. They were able to plan. Their faith in the transit authorities increased. The whole city was calmer during rush hour. It was a smart psychological move.

How I wished I had a time clock for life. If only I knew exactly how much time I had left with my father, I would act one way versus another, I would time things just right.

But since I didn't know exactly how long I had before dad's condition deteriorated, I decided right then and there that there was no time like the present moment. For all I knew, he could die tomorrow. At this stage in the game, I no longer believed that seeing me settled down with a family would give him the will to hang onto life, but at least, it would make his last days a little brighter.

Yes. It was time to make the big reveal about Ana's pregnancy. I could already envision the look of joy on my father's face. With that thought in mind, I went to check that dad was awake and then went to find Anastasia.

I found her in the library alone reading Jane Eyre.

"Hi, can you come with me to see my father, he's awake."

Ana smiled at me but there was something different about her smile, and I wondered what the heck has happened in my absence. I said nothing, intensely focused on the meeting with dad, I take her hand and head upstairs.

"Hello again," he greeted us, managing a smile. He doesn't fool me for a second. He's in pain and trying to hide it. Honestly, I don't know how much more I can take, watching him like this. It is quite horrible.

"Dad, Ana and I have something special we'd like to share with you," I paused. "We're in the family way."

All at once, his face brightened up like a Christmas tree. "Congratulations!" he muttered, overcome with emotion. His gaze met mine and in that one look, he let me know he was proud of me. Then, he reached his hand out to Ana and she came to sit by his bedside. "This is the best news ever, thank you, thank you."

Ana blushed under dad's intense gaze. "I brought a couple of books we can read together," Ana said and I could tell she was trying to shift the attention away from herself. She showed him the titles. My dad didn't seem excited by any of them, especially not Jane Eyre.

"How about we read the bible for a little while?" He said motioning to his nightstand. There was a leather bible with golden pages sitting on top of other books.

Ana was surprised at the request but quickly complied. I felt this was the perfect opportunity for me to catch up on a few things so I left the room; I was feeling better now and thought I could finally concentrate on my work.

I was on my way to the way to my office when Elena intercepted me.

"Where's she?"

I found her tone highly irritating. "She's reading to dad," I answered, walking back toward my office with Elena at my heel.

"Oh, Christian...you're not falling for this girl, are you?"

"If I didn't know you any better I would have sworn you're jealous."

"That girl shouldn't be trusted," she went on as though she hadn't heard me. "She was talking to her boyfriend today so if you think you have a chance with her then-"

"Wh-at?" I snapped. "What are you talking about?"

Elena smiled a slow smile. "Her boyfriend Jose. I called the prison and she got to talk to him. You should have seen the look on her face, so much love in her voice," she added fake sweetly, "when she told him, te quiero mucho," over and over again," she shook her head and sighed, "it was really heartbreaking...a sad tale of doomed love."

I stared at Elena in shock for about thirty seconds. Then, at once, I stormed down the hallway to my father's room. There was no way I was going to let this happen; if Anastasia thought she was going to make a fool out of me with another man, she had another thing coming.