Chapter nine

Even though my heart will always be with Jose, my life was here and now. I must put him out of my mind and dedicate my life to my husband.

Yes. That was the right thing to do. Yes. Christian is a good man, he's been very kind to me.

Except I had no idea what I was supposed to do. What was my role in Christian's life, other than serving as his trophy wife (for a lack of a better term) for his father's sake?

Don't be stupid, Ana. You're his wife. Remember? The least you could do is fulfill your wifely duties...

I must admit, the idea mortified me, part of me felt I was betraying Jose. But, there was no use thinking about that right now. That part of my life is over, and a new chapter was just starting, and I was incredibly lucky that a man like Christian Grey wanted me.

The ball is back in my court sort of speak, I thought, recalling the kiss we'd shared this morning. Christian had made it quite clear; if something was going to happen between us, it had to be out my own initiative.

Call me romantic if you will, but I much prefer the man to be the pursuer. Hmm. Maybe I will just wait and see what happens.

Will it happen? Yes, of course. As we get to know each other better, nature will take its course. By then he would have forgotten all about me having to beg him, I'm sure. For one, it's a bit ridiculous if you ask me. Everybody knows men have a hard time keeping it in their pants, and that's pretty much a universal truth.

….

Gail POV

It was time to get dinner started and Mr. Grey had mentioned he wanted to have dinner with his bride in his father's room. So, I went to the library to check on Ana and give her the heads up about dinner plans. I had seen the look in Mr. Grey's face; one look was all it took for me to realize he was in one of his dark moods. Lord, his bride was going to need all the help I could give her. Even though we haven't had the change to talk much, I could tell she was just a sweet gentle soul. I wondered how old she was; my guess she was probably barely out of high school, only 19 or 20 years old.

Ana seemed so genuinely grateful for the information. Right then and there, I decided I would take her under my wing like the daughter I never had. There was a lot this poor girl needed to learn to fit in this family. Further, she was alarmingly vulnerable to Elena Lincoln. For a long time now, that woman has been biding her time like a vulture, patiently circling above waiting for the right time to strike.

I brought in my planner and showed Ana how I planned for meals and other household tasks. The sweet child asked me if there was something she could do to help around the house. I blinked in disbelief. I told her she was the lady of the house and she wouldn't be expected to do anything household related except maybe planning the menu and re-decorating.

I pointed out a few recipes that were color-coded according to Christian's preferences.

"I would like to come in when you're cooking and learn how to cook these meals myself," she said with a sparkle in her eyes, and I said to myself, who am I to tell her we can't cook together if this is what she wants to do?

Christian POV

A few hours later, I was in my father's room when Ana came in, ahead of Mrs. Jones who was carrying the tray with our dinner. She set the tray squarely on the small round table located by the window and disappeared.

Dad's eyes brightened when Ana came in. He was sitting up in his bed and his nurse brought him a bowl of soup and pudding so he could join us.

I pulled the chair for Ana and she smiled at me sweetly. I reciprocated her smile, wanting her to see I was no longer upset at her. In truth, I shouldn't have been so angry at her for talking to that man on the phone; she hadn't purposely called him herself. It was ridiculous. Maybe it was love making me act like a fool.

I sat at the table across from Ana and placed the cloth napkin across my lap. Ana followed suit.

"Christian, would you like to say grace?" Dad asked me.

I was dumbfounded by such a request. I hadn't prayed in years; as a matter of fact, we never prayed much as a family. It was a little disconcerting watching dad become so spiritual, it was so unlike the father I knew.

Still, I bowed my head and said a short prayer that sounded lame to my own ears.

We talked while we ate. Ana entertained us for a little while with stories about her home country. Dad was very interested and asked a few well-thought-out political questions. Ana answers his questions to the best of her ability and once again I marveled at how fluent her English was.

"Can I ask you something? she asked me after dad had fallen asleep.

"Shoot," I said but then I realized she didn't understand what I meant. "Go ahead, tell me."

"It's about your sister. Did you say you were still trying to find her?"

"Yeah," I said. "I've been trying to find her for months," I went on looking over at my father lying in bed. He was sound asleep and his breathing was a little labored which worried me. "At this point, I don't think I'll find her in time for dad to meet with her." In all honesty, it was probably for the best. Who knows? Even if I did find her, there were no guarantees as to what her reaction would be. She may be resentful of dad giving her up for adoption and refuse to see him. Judging by Ana's next question, something in my expression must have betrayed my thoughts.

"But you do want to find her, right? She's family, right?"

What can I say? It's more complicated than that. "Not exactly. She's not related to me by blood...and besides, in reality, she's a stranger. I don't think of her as a sister. She's my father's daughter and that's it."

Ana seemed a little shocked at my response.

"Anyway, about that. Let's talk about us," I said looking intently into her eyes. "How was your day?"

She gave me a shy smile. "It was fine, I got to read."

"Are you enjoying Jane Eyre?"

"Yes. I find the main character and I had a lot in common."

I smiled at her. I could see why she would find Jane relatable. "I sure hope you don't see me as me having anything in common with John Reed."

Ana seemed to find the idea outrageous. "Of course not!" She was quiet for a moment. "Have you read this book before?"

"You didn't peg me for liking that type of book?" I asked and she raised a questioning brow. "Yeah, I suppose not many guys would voluntarily read such a lengthy novel...it was in my high school required reading list. A friend of mine was reading it so I thought we could study together.

Ana nodded. "So how was your day working on the computer?"

"I had trouble concentrating, thinking about dad. I thought I could work while he slept and then be available when he was awake but it didn't work out too well," I let out a deep sigh. "I want to be there for him, you know what I mean?"

"Yes," she paused, her eyes full of sympathy. "I think you want to do it all. Maybe too much pressure?"

I thought that was a kind thing to say. I felt as though she genuinely cared about me. But how could she, if she barely knew me? Then I thought of Jose and how she cared for him by her own admission and then later by what Elena said; it had been an upsetting discovery. Just the thought of Ana and another man was enough to make my blood boil.

This was all new to me; I've never been jealous of anyone in my entire life as I am of this pathetic boyfriend of hers. Ana was the first woman I cared about romantically. All the other women I've shared my bed with had been submissives brought to me by Elena. They'd meant nothing to me, absolutely nothing to me.

Seriously, I never thought I would ever fall in love with a woman who wasn't in the lifestyle. I viewed at least one hundred videos before I found the one woman that changed it all. From the first moment I set eyes on her and heard her voice, it was as if, all of a sudden, my heart and soul had been swept into one of those love songs you hear on the radio, whose corny lyrics invariably make you want to throw up.

"Are you going to eat?" I asked her, observing that she'd barely touched her food. We were having filet mignon with vegetables.

"I ate a lot for lunch."

I shook my head and made a mental note to get her to eat more. She was way too thin. Other than that, she was perfect.

I wondered though what this woman, whom I adored, would think of me if she ever found out about my lifestyle, a lifestyle I had no intention of bringing her into. I wanted a new life with her, a chance to start anew and put the past behind me once and for all.

"Would you at least eat some more? Please?" I asked and her gaze softened. It was my way of making amends, of apologizing to her for how I treated her earlier. Part of me wanted to say I was sorry but the words choked in my throat.