That night, the Stickleback Tavern was bustling with life. Travelers and explorers of all backgrounds gathered around the tables to share their stories, drink to the memory of their fallen allies or just let out some steam between assignments. In the air a sweet, refreshing fragrance mixed with the smell of freshly cooked meat and ale. However, two members of the masterfully named ElvenKeep were not enjoying their meal as much as they were supposed to.
A childish fight between their teammates stirred up the local Formido Oppugnatura Exsequens, a really powerful mutated form of the local wildlife, they tried to avoid at all cost. They managed to escape, but this little stunt sent the pillar of their support, the sovereign, Stan Marsh to hospital, not only costing them serious amounts of money, but temporary cutting them off from further explorations. And as their guildmaster Eric Cartman hated gambling with their finances especially now, that they were already exploring the forest of frozen wilderness and his pockets began to fill up after he started selling the minerals they'd found.
But thanks to those loose cannons, Kenneth McCormick and Kyle Broflovski he was dancing on thin ice. Well, technically the ice wasn't that thin and they were nowhere near bankruptcy yet, but Eric loved to tap their team funds to use it on himself and the less money they had the easier it was to notice.
"I swear to you Butters, if this goes on I'll kick both of them out of my team." he groaned into his drink.
Butters only nodded uncertainly, not being sure what his friend was referring to. Fortunately, he got his explanation soon enough.
"We are losing funds, because Kahl starts bitching whenever I put him next to Kenny and he wastes ammo, because he gets frustrated and trigger happy!" the knight complained. "If this keeps going on we will go bankrupt because all our money goes to fund that psycho!"
"Well, Eric, have you tried to talk to them? Maybe they just need to sort out their differences."
"Been there, done that," he muttered bitterly. "It went well, until Broflovski got sand in his vagina and they started bickering again I don't even know what's their problem because out of everything, they refuse to talk about that."
Butters just sat there in silence, listening to the cheerful piano song in the background. Being next to Kenny and Kyle most of the times made him more observant of the duo. And while he was not so happy about sharing details of their private lives, he had to admit, that if this keeps up, then it's only matter of time before they have to go home South Etria. He wasn't so keen on meeting his father and getting locked up in his own home after he ran away to pursue his dream as a healer.
"Maybe it is not my place to say this…" he cautiously looked around, making sure none of the mentioned people were present. "It started around the time they went out for the night, right? Must have been something serious because Kenny was furious and the door almost fell out of its frame when he closed it. I think Kyle didn't come back to the inn that night. But, maybe you should ask Stan about that..."
This piqued Eric's attention.
"Was this when Kyle looked like a plant monster when he appeared at Tweek's Restaurant?"
"Yes, yes, he was all muddy and had leaves stuck to his clothes. Then both Stan and Kenny got angry at him for going to Yggdrasil alone!"
"Butters that was a month ago!" he exclaimed.
"Well, you know 'em, Eric…" the medic shrugged, finally taking a bite from his steak. "Some conflicts are viruses. They need more time to be visible. Like an incubation period."
"And the easiest way to stop the spreading of viruses if to burn the bodies," Cartman snickered to himself, taking a sip from his glass. "Well, Kenny tells you everything. Did he ever mention something about Kahl?"
The boy hesitated. This conversation got way too personal way too soon. But then again, he should've known better than to accept an invitation from Cartman. He lowered his voice so not even the person sitting at the table next to them could hear his words.
"Kenny used to gush about him a lot."
Cartman had to raise an eyebrow after hearing this.
"Used to. You mean, after that night he stopped completely?" he inquired.
"We-well, not really." Butters trailed off. "He starts complimenting Kyle then, it's like, he suddenly stops himself."
An evil smile spread across Eric Cartman's face as he slowly added more to this story based on what Butters had told him. His heart started beating a bit faster from the excitement he felt from being in the limelight. Whatever happened between the gunner and the survivalist of his ragtag team, it must have been related to emotions. Fortunately, relationship problems were things he was an expert at. Especially when it came to getting people together. Furthermore, since this time, it involved Kyle, his frenemy, he was allowed to use bit more extreme measures.
"Thank you for telling me this Butters." he thanked the boy, before downing his drink. "Say, how much does Kenny like playing the hero of our group?"
That day Kyle Broflovski, gunner of ElvenKeep was in a foul mood and even after talking with his childhood best friend at the hospital, his mood did not improve. He was ready to stab a man. Preferably, either Cartman or Kenny as both of them deserved it after last night.
Though, after giving it a second thought, he might give Kenny one more chance. He didn't truly hate the ranger… It was just… Lately their relationship was stormier than the harbors of Batavia. All of this because of a misstep from both of them, that happened at the tavern over two plates of gibier curry.
He thought about apologizing properly or at least giving Kenny a sign that it was okay to talk again or hold conversations like adults, but that idiot had to go and ignore him in the middle of a battle because apparently, silent treatment extended to life or death situations. Now Stan was resting in the hospital after suffering a full blown hit from one of the venomous dragons in the labyrinth and getting paralyzed for the night!
But after he stopped fuming about the accident and his logic kicked in, he had to admit that both of them were at fault. Kenny was too arrogant while he got caught up in his annoying silent punishment game and let himself be distracted… Nevermind. What mattered that Stan survived the encounter.
He was about to turn right and check the Grand Duchy's market in case some kind of worn equipment or accessory catches his eyes, when a boulder stood in his way, stopping him from going further.
"Whoa, Kahl you look like you would be ready to kill a person." The boulder spoke to him only to reveal himself as Eric Cartman, the good-for-nothing protector of the team.
"And that person will be you, if you don't get out of my way!" he barked back in irritation and tried going around Cartman, but the youth followed his moves.
"No can do. Also you might be happy to hear that I came here to help you."
The statement made him throw a questioning stare toward Cartman's direction. "What?"
"With Kenny."
"I don't need help with Kenny! Get lost, Cartman!" he finally managed to slip through Cartman's human wall.
"Stan and everyone else in the team would say otherwise. You two caused tons of trouble the past month and now Stan is in hospital," Cartman's tone was slow, like a snake slowly weaving its body around a squirrel. Kyle tried to escape by quickening his steps as he walked through the market. However, the good-for-nothing protector already had a solid grip on him.
"It was an accident," he muttered.
"Yes, of course. It was an accident. But I thought that Kenny's birthday is coming up and you know… A peace gift might bring back the balance." Eric tried to be as neutral as he could, fighting back a grin.
Kyle stopped in his tracks and tried to figure out what was the secondary reason. Eric always had something else up in his sleeves or wanted something in exchange for his help…
"What do you mean?" his expression turned serious.
"Well I'm not sure… Are you willing to go to the Labyrinth?"
"Depends on what for."
Eric let out a laugh as he pulled a folded paper out of his shoulderbag.
"Yesterday at the tavern I came across this map. It shows the spot where you can find crystal egret flowers. As you know, their petals are used for remedies and the fetch a fine price." he stopped waiting for Kyle to ponder on it a bit. "You know, I think our friend, Kenny would appreciate that a lot. It's way more special than that measly celestine bird you've been working on. "
"He gets embarrassed about gifts." Kyle added his share of thoughts, refusing to acknowledge Cartman's remark on the tiny crystal figurine he was working on.
"You can always just write it off as a thoughtful random finding. He doesn't have to know that you went to the labyrinth because of him." Eric shrugged, but he let a tiny smile appear on the corners of his mouth. Kyle definitely took the bait.
The boy took the map but as he opened the paper he frowned at the contents, grimacing as he tried to make out the various symbols and routes.
"Hey… We still haven't mapped this area..."
"But this is why I bought this map!" he leant closer the gunner, pointing at the blue circle. "It's not even far from the stairs. And has shortcuts! For a gunner like you, this is a walk in the park!"
Kyle didn't say a word, just silently slipped the paper in his pocket and continued his route through the colorful sea of sellers. However this time Eric didn't even try to call after him as he watched Kyle disappearing in the hustle and bustle of the market. True, he didn't get a solid answer about his little gift, but he knew that his plan was already in motion.
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Etrian Odyssey was always dear to me, ever since it helped me survive the lonely and extremely boring 3 hours train rides/day to my uni. So it was only matter of time before I decided to write an AU based around it. I try to explain everything within prose as we go, also most importantly, the game does not spoil the EO2 experience. It exists as a separate thing from the canon.