A/N: IF you are triggered my mentions of physical abuse then don't read this chapter however it is required for the story to proceed
The next day before class
"Dana seriously cut it out or I will be forced to get the teachers involved" says Tori
"what do you care Vegas, I was quarreling with Lola not you" says Dana boldly
"it's all the same you just don't see it, seriously take a look at Lola then me" says Tori as Dana glances at them both
"I still don't see it, sure you look similar but you two couldn't be any more different, I love her to bits but she always gets on my nerves " says Dana as she rolls her eyes
"Y-you love me…." Asks Lola
"uhhhh not like that, don't put words in my mouth Lola I never said that I LOVED you, that's not what anyone means when they say what i said, see Tori, this is why she annoys me" says Dana
"she can be very annoying at times trust me I know but she means well and she likes you" says Tori
"how do you know so much about her anyway" questions Dana
"can we please not talk about that, there are some things that people don't need to know, if you come by my place after school I'll explain everything but you can't tell anyone" says Tori
"if it means I'll get along with cute Lola I'll do anything" says Dana
"y-you think I'm cute" asks Lola surprised
"unfortunately yes, I'm conflicted about it Soo please don't look too much into it" says Dana
"but you do like me on some level right" Asks Lola
"ugh yes" says Dana annoyed
"she's so much like me it's scary" says Tori as Dana tilts her head confused
"what" asks Dana confused
"nothing" says Tori avoiding the question
After school
"so why call me over, I feel like I'm being called in by the principal" says Dana
"Lola is my twin sister, her obsession with you is unhealthy, you want to know something, if you made her happy my dad wouldn't have to worry about her so much" says Tori
"get outta town she is not your twin sister, she's nothing like you" says Dana
"she is indeed Dana, her voice is different but look at her eyes the next time you get a chance, we both have eye speckles in the same spot" says Tori
"I can already see that now that you mention it, so why doesn't she share your last name, why isn't she a Vega" says Dana realizing just how much she loves Lola
"Martinez was my mom's maiden name, she took it to a whole different level, while I refused to talk about my mom Lola has no problem with it and uses my moms last name in pride to show her love of life no matter how short, our mom was barely thirty years old and Lola is the older twin by almost three minutes, despite that Lola always looked up to me because I lead with purpose while she only leads with her heart" says Tori pointing to an attic style drop ladder in the corner of the living room
"wait she can visit you anytime she wants without the other students knowing" asks Dana shocked
"specifically you, she is often afraid to show people how she feels, she uses a mental mask to hide her true feelings as well as her reasons for doing what she does, she leads with her heart and is quite easily hurt" says Tori
"the moment we moved into this building she was different, she seemed more flirty towards me" says Dana confused
"that has more to do with how close you are to her than anything else, last year you were a lot farther away room wise than this year, you are literally across the hall from her now so she's finding it harder to ignore her feelings, if she asked you out right here, right now would you say yes" says Tori
"I don't know what to say, I'm very confused about my sexuality, I'm good at sports and can beat boys at anything yet never found guys attractive but I feel a lot of social pressure to be normal, I do have feelings for her but I'm afraid I'd push her away the moment we would be alone, as you said she's easily hurt" says Dana
"once she's in your life trust me it's a lot harder to get her out of your life, the hard part is getting her to open up to you and to make that first step, she will seem skittish and really nervous but once she feels the love she will be a completely different person, the person you fight with isn't her, she's actually quite submissive naturally, she pushes your buttons only because she hopes you'll crack and kiss her to make her stop, if you raise your voice you can see it, she searches your eyes for anger" says Tori
"now that you mention it she does shrink away when I raise my voice, usually when I raise my voice she stops talking" says Dana
"she's naturally afraid of angry people, our uncle used to use a belt on us when he'd babysit because we wouldn't listen to him, it's given her a bit of PTSD, our uncle would raise his voice, bite us and use a belt on our butts, I went to therapy for it but she absolutely refuses to, she likes to say actresses don't need that therapy, she's obsessed with acting, almost as much as she's obsessed with you" says Tori
"surely your dad questioned the bites and the belt bruises" asks Dana really getting concerned now
"we were so afraid of our uncle that we made up lies to shield ourselves from his anger, only recently did we come clean about it, my dad asked him if it was true and he didn't even deny it, my dad charged him and he's in jail now for child abuse" says Tori getting tense
"what if I didn't ask her out but made out with her, would she accept my love then" asks Dana
"it would be pretty hard for her to deny that, she's taking a nap, feel free to use the ladder to sneak up on her, it's the only way you're gonna get past her mental mask" says Tori as Dana pulls down the ladder and dissapears
"you didn't lie did you Tori" questions Cat
"I don't lie about pain Cat, Lola always takes a nap after school for a few hours then she does her homework, she says it helps her mentally, though I rarely see her, she mainly uses that hatch to leave me notes, only in the last few weeks has she actually talked to me in person, we often fight over the littlest things but she knows she can always talk to me about love and I will give it to her straight" says Tori
"you and Lola fight….." asks Jade coming out in her jammies
"all the time, we have drastically different world views, all derived from pain and depression, though she often admits my logic is sound and that she's just currently unable to see my optimism, though when she met Dana everything changed, for one she never used to giggle, laugh ya but never giggle, but now whenever Dana's name is mentioned now she giggles for a solid minute, sometimes more" says Tori as she goes to change
"boy is her family complicated" says Jade
"not more than mine, remember my brother was obsessed with your hair" says Cat
"fair enough but there is a difference between nuts and what Tori's family is like, I know her dad, he's a lawyer, it's not an easy or lax job, he was probably away from them for most of their childhood, leaving their uncle to rein supreme and hurt them with no opposition or fear of getting caught" says Jade as Tori walks in all jammed up
"you're not wrong Jade, most of our childhood was spent in fear, we only had each other, which on some occasions led us to cross lines that we shouldn't have" says Tori laying on top of Cat and Jade again
"you don't mean like THAT do you" asks Jade nervously
"unfortunately ya, being twins we didn't know any other life, we started to believe it was normal, it's why she is so timid around me most of the time, we have photographic memories, we remember every little thing, we'd like nothing more than to forget those moments but we can't physically do that so we have to live with it, at the time we didn't know we shouldn't have felt that way about each other but fear has a funny way of bending reality" says Tori
"does your dad know" asks Cat shocked
"yes he knows, he never blamed us for crossing that line once he knew what our uncle put us through, he always said fear makes you do things you know are wrong sometimes, except we didn't know, we didn't know who to trust, now I have you guys, hopefully Lola comes clean about what we went through with Dana, she needs to get it off her chest" says Tori
"is she on the spectrum" asks Cat as she plays with Tori's hair
"you're seriously putting me to sleep Cat, honestly I don't know, chances are we both are, I love my own rules, honestly when I got on the student council I was never expecting anyone to agree with me, especially the principal or anyone as powerful as a school board member" says Tori
"good change is good, also I can't help it, you look adorable when you're asleep" says Cat
"awww, thanks, any chance we can sleep or nap on my bed tonight, my back seriously hurt today" says Tori
"you seriously inviting us to your bed that's dangerous" says Jade
"given it'll help my back I'll take the risk, however if you do intend to play with my parts please be careful, I have a few cuts and they're extremely sensitive to touch, the last time I touched them in my sleep I woke up screaming in pain so if you wake up to screams, bite marks or broken fingers don't be surprised" says Tori as they head to her room
"self inflicted cuts….." asks Cat nervously
"no…, not in those places anyway, all my self inflicted cuts are on my shoulders, I had surgery a few years ago because my stomach was in a lot of pain, the probe points got infected and it never healed right so I jump when me or someone else touches it" says Tori as they lay on her bed
"ooh this is comfy, do you think Dana and Lola will work out" asks Jade
"well Dana should be up by now and she'd have screamed so I assume things went well, I guess we'll see tomorrow, or at breakfast, Lola usually always eats breakfast with me before school no matter the mood she's in" says Tori
"ya I did find it odd she just walked into your unit in her jammies this morning, I mean she was really nice to us but I found it really odd" says Cat
"ya she's not usually THAT nice but given the things we had done with each other I'd assume she's just happy I'm happy and that I'm not dwelling on the past anymore" says Tori
"oh right thaaaat I'm really trying to forget that part of the story Tori, thanks for the reminder" says Cat annoyed and wiggling her nose
"aww that's cute and I'm sorry for bringing it up, can we just cuddle for a bit" says Tori as they both kiss her
"anything you want baby" says Jade as she licks her lips
"ok now I'm worried because I have lots of thoughts running through my head and I'm not ready for that yet, please slow" says Tori