Love Survives

Chapter 1

"JARROD!"

Nick, yelling again, Jarrod thought. He rubbed his neck and closed the file he was looking at on the desk in front of him just as Nick came into the library, Heath right behind him. Nick got on one side of him and Heath on the other, and together they hoisted him to his feet.

"Come on, we're going to town," Nick said.

"What do you mean, 'we'?" Jarrod asked. "I'm staying right here for a glass of scotch and a quiet dinner – "

"No, you're coming with us," Nick said. "Come on."

Heath said, "We've made up our minds, Jarrod. You're heading for San Francisco in a couple days and you haven't had any fun since you've been home from the last trip. We're going to town for some good saloon food for dinner and all the poker we can find."

"And you're coming with us," Nick said. "The Barkley men all together out for a night on the town. It's been too long. Come on."

They pulled Jarrod out from behind his desk. "All right, you're probably right, I need a break. Let me get my jacket."

"We'll saddle the horses and meet you at the stable," Heath said.

Nick and Heath went out the library door to the outside while Jarrod went back to the living room. His mother and sister were there on the settee, both reading –

"Though how you can read with all the noise in this house is beyond me," Jarrod said and leaned over to kiss his mother and his sister.

"Are you going with Nick and Heath?" Victoria asked.

"They're not really giving me a choice," Jarrod said.

"Good," Audra said. "I might actually finish this book tonight then."

"Have a good time, darling," Victoria said. "You need a little fun."

Jarrod chuckled. "You're right, I know it, I've had too much on my plate."

"When you promised some time ago you would get your workload under control."

"And I will. It's just taking me longer than I thought."

"You can't turn down a client who needs you," Audra said. "But sometimes you have to."

Jarrod sighed. "I know, I know."

"Don't forget to take money," Victoria said. "Don't go drawing to any inside straights."

"That's Nick's problem, not mine," Jarrod said and went upstairs.

He picked up his casual coat, the dark blue one he usually saved for traveling long distances by horseback. It was a little chilly this evening and he decided he wanted the warmth. He checked his wallet and added a little money to it, enough to buy dinner and to lose at poker without regretting it too much. He headed back downstairs, thought about taking his revolver and then decided he didn't need to – Nick and Heath would cover him if he needed it. Contrary to what some people who read dime novels would believe, poker games didn't usually end up as shooting matches.

"We'll see you at breakfast!" Jarrod called and headed out the door.

Audra smirked. "If any of them are able to see anything at breakfast."

Nick and Heath had their horses ready, and Heath was finishing saddling Jarrod's horse when he got out there. Nick was already mounted, already having his horse moving even if it was in circles. Heath handed Jarrod the reins to his horse, then mounted his own as Jarrod mounted his.

"All right, let's go have some FUN!" Nick yelled and took off.

His excitement gave both his brothers a grin, and Jarrod had to admit, it felt good to ride into town for a night out together with them. He seldom had time for it, and he was planning to go away to San Francisco for a week. At least a week. If something didn't pop up here in Stockton or in San Francisco to make him change his plans. I gotta slow down, he told himself for the nth time and knew he probably wouldn't do it. Keeping busy was helping him avoid thinking about other things.

He still had repair work to do on his life, after losing his wife and his senses a year or so ago. Things were much better than they had been at first. Time does heal, and lots of work meant for lots of income, which wasn't so bad. But even Jarrod knew he wasn't his old self yet, and whatever dreams he had for a future had to be rebuilt. He hadn't even started that work yet. He had just been treading water and trying not to drown.

It was time to stop that. It was time to have more fun, and poker with his brothers was a good place to do it.

They headed straight for the Gold Eagle when they hit town, and Nick bounded off his horse and was first through the door. "Harry!" he yelled and headed for an empty table. "Three of whatever you have the best of tonight and some good whiskey!"

Jarrod and Heath followed their boisterous brother to a table. It was still on the early side but the place was beginning to fill up. Two of the girls brought three plates of stew with bread and a bottle of whiskey with three glasses. The men dug in ravenously, and it wasn't long before someone from another table called over, "You boys here for poker tonight?"

Nick saw Jerry Polk, one of the men at Carl Wheeler's ranch who worked the forge there. He was with another man Nick knew also worked for Carl, but Nick didn't know him well. "We are, Jerry. Are you for taking us on?"

"Whenever you finish eating and are ready to play," Polk said.

"You feeling lucky tonight, Nick?" Heath asked.

"I am, I am," Nick said.

"Bet you a dollar I take home more than you do," Heath countered.

Jarrod chuckled to himself as his two brothers went on and on, trying to gain some psychological advantage over each other for the game yet to commence. When they were all finished eating, Polk and the other man, named Ogle, came over and Harry behind the bar brought over another bottle and a deck of cards. Within a few minutes it was clear Nick and Heath had lost the battle of wills to their older brother, who wasn't even fighting. He was winning. Luck was on his side tonight.

"Maybe we shoulda left him home, Nick," Heath finally said.

Jarrod had taken five of the first ten games.

"Nonsense," Jarrod said. "My luck's bound to turn, but in the meantime, if you will excuse me, I'll see a man about a horse and maybe have a short smoke."

"I'd mention you could smoke at the table, but I'd just as soon you disappeared for a few minutes myself," Nick said.

With a laugh, Jarrod got up, went to see the man about a horse and then took a few moments to light up a cigar just outside the front door to the saloon. He wanted to watch the street a little bit, see who was coming and going, clearing his head of the whiskey and the cards while getting himself ready to win some more money.

Nick and Heath were right to bring him here and get him out of the house. It was good to share some food and whiskey and comradery, but it wasn't too long he was out there that his mind took him to San Francisco and the work he had planned there. Jarrod shook it away, actually shaking his head. When he looked up again he saw a face he knew coming his way.

"Joe!" he called.

Joe Payson was a man his age, a local businessman. Not a close friend but not just an acquaintance either, especially since the two of them shared something they'd rather not be sharing. Like Jarrod, Joe had tragically lost his wife not many months ago. "Evening, Jarrod," he said and stopped. "What brings you out tonight?"

"Oh, my brothers dragged me out for some whiskey and poker," Jarrod said. "I'm just taking a short break. How about you?"

"Just getting out of the house. The walls close in sometimes, you know."

Payson's loss was reflected in his eyes by the light coming out from the bar. "How are you doing, Joe?" Jarrod asked sincerely, knowingly.

Payson countered with, "How are you doing?"

Jarrod gave a soft chuckle. "Well, I haven't beaten anybody up in months, or put my fist through any walls. I'm coping. Are you?"

"Aw, Jarrod," Payson said with a sigh. "If only – " Then he stopped.

"Yeah, if only," Jarrod said.

"No, that's not exactly it," Payson said, expecting Jarrod's thoughts were if only our wives were still alive. "I don't like to put it this way. I don't like comparing our fates."

"No, Joe, go ahead," Jarrod said. Then very quietly, he said, "If you can't tell me about it, who can you tell?"

Payson nodded with a sad smile. "It's been thirteen months tonight, did you know?"

Jarrod said, "No, I'm sorry, I lost track."

"Well, you've got your own tracking to do."

Jarrod said, "Except I don't do it. I get things a bit confused, so I don't do it."

"If only I could have been with her, Jarrod," Payson said.

It was a boating accident that took Carol Payson. She and her husband had gotten separated when another boat collided with theirs in the bay at San Francisco. Payson had been thrown one way, Carol the other. Payson thought he had seen his wife in the wreckage of the boat, but he lost her again, and he never found her. No one ever found her. The police said her body had just probably been washed out of the bay and into the ocean.

Jarrod said, "Don't think it makes a lot of difference, Joe. It just hurts in a different way."

"Yeah," Payson said quietly. "Maybe so."

Jarrod heard his middle brother's raucous laugh come out from inside the saloon and got an idea. "Look, Joe, why don't you come in and join us for a few hands of poker? Take your mind off things. Even for a few minutes, it might help a little."

Payson sighed. "I don't know."

"Come on," Jarrod urged him. "My brothers dragged me down here and it really does help to win a little money, or just to listen to Nick carry on for a while. Come on inside. Lose yourself for a little while."

Payson finally gave in. "If it were anyone other than you asking – sure, all right, let's go place some cards."

Jarrod slapped him on the back and ushered him through the saloon doors, into the noise and happy distraction.