The actual title of this chapter is Prep School Porn and the BDSM Angel. It would not fit in the drop down.
Summary: His friends must be playing some sort of joke. Right?
Note: In the next few chapters I will be drawing more than usual from canon (All Seasons), but using those items/dialogue as I see fit (aka…fixing them). This is the part where I declare that I have nothing to do with (or own any part of) the television series Glee.
Per the title, this chapter is Rated M. Warning: Mention of thoughts of underaged sex
Blaine was in the math lab with Trent, trying to complete his Calculous assignment. His teacher didn't seem to care that he had things like the Diva-Off, Sugar Shack 2.0, Regionals and Valentine's Day happening in the next 10 days. Or that his Julliard audition was in a month and his fingers still hurt when he played any instrument. Or that the day before, he found out he was somehow a finalist at NYADA when he hadn't applied there. How did that happen?
Or what about that he, Sebastian and all of the other Senior Warblers had been subpoenaed to testify in Dalton's case against the former Head Master. Or that he had to go to court in two weeks when Wyatt and Toby were sentenced. Or that Earl was still out on bail. Or that Tomm…Nope, not going there.
Who was he kidding, Blaine knew exactly what his problem was and it wasn't math or any of those other things. It was the fact that at that very moment, Sebastian was in the counseling offices setting up his three college site visits…Harvard, Columbia and Stanford. Yes, that Stanford. They had promised they would not interfere with the other's college decision. He just never thought Sebastian could wind up in California.
"You've got this, Blaine" Trent told him as they packed away their study material. "I don't understand why you feel you still need my help. You weren't as bad off as you thought you were after last year's Academic Detour, as you like to call it."
"Maybe not with other subjects, but with math, definitely. You have saved my ass on more than one occasion, my friend."
"Duh, why do you think Seb likes me so much? He likes having your ass around. And when I say ass, I mean ass, but I'm sure he likes your other parts too."
Before Blaine could comment, Jeff practically ran into the room and slid into their table "Blaine, I need to talk to you."
Trent put his hands on his chest to symbolize (mockingly) that his heart was broken "I feel so loved."
Jeff mocked back, "I'm so sorry that upon my arrival I did not show you the proper amount of affection I feel for you, Warbler Nixon. You are both a gentleman and a scholar. You are the glue…"
"Shut Up." Trent smiled as he stood. He was happy that he had gotten over his bashfulness and had finally, truly bonded with the guys. Sebastian liked to say that his movie night porn marathon (both straight and gay for quote/unquote Educational Purposes) had been the perfect team building exercise to help him out. Wow, that sounded dirty. "I have to go anyway. I have an appointment with Miss Meyer in 15 minutes. Hey Blaine, did she find out anything about you being a NYADA finalist?"
"You're a finalist at NYADA?" Jeff asked. When Blaine nodded, Jeff looked at him with wonderment and whispered "You didn't even apply there. You are the Alphiest Alpha Gay ever."
"Shut Up" Blaine responded, but he had to agree with his friend. It was pretty damn Alpha Gay. Not that he would say that out loud. "Miss Meyer checked into it and it's legit. I'm going to talk to Rachel when I see her, until then, I'm not going to worry about it."
"Are you going to at least audition?"
"I don't know."
Blaine and Jeff left along with Trent since they were getting the stink-eye from the math lab supervisor. He had a point, they had been talking a lot. For some reason, Jeff insisted that they didn't go back to the dorms, so they found one of the more out-of-the-way sitting areas. "Ok, what's up?" Blaine asked.
"Remember when you sent me that text you thought you were sending to Seb?"
How could he not, it was one of the Top 10 most embarrassing moments of his life. And he had sung at theme parks. "Vaguely."
"How did the two of you do it? You know, get him to be silent when he came?"
Yup, still embarrassing "What does it matter? You and Duval have been wanking off in the same room for four years. Hell, you've wanked off together while watching porn. But I swear to god, if I ever hear about him shooting his spunk with the name of my sweet baby cousin on his lips, I will…"
"I'm seeing someone!" Jeff interrupted before Blaine could get any further "Secretly, and for a while now."
"Good for you. Why the secret? Do we know her?"
"It's Nichole."
Blaine knew he had heard that name, but where?...Oh shit! "Nichole? Nichole Duval? You're rubbing your chub with her brother, your best friend, in a bed ten feet from you? What's wrong with you?! You have to tell him. Not about the masturbating part, I'm sure he knows that. The seeing his sister part."
"We planned on telling him when he and I went to Harvard for our site visit, but things have become more intense lately. You know, electronically."
"So, you two are sexting while Nick is sleeping?"
"Sexting, facetime, emailing pictures. Fuck Blaine, she does this thing where she pinches her nip…"
"Stop! Just. Please. Stop."
Jeff quieted down as he noticed that guys passing by had begun to stare "Every night I get louder and this morning Nick complained about it. That's why you have to help me. How did you get Seb to be quiet?"
Without thinking, Blaine blurted out "I stuck my dick down his throat about a hundred times so he came over and over again without being able to say anything." Ok, new Top 10 moment.
But, Jeff wasn't fazed at all "So, I guess that won't work for me. Although, I have thought about…you know, seeing what it's like…"
Blaine held out his hand to get him to stop talking so he could answer a text he had just received. Hopefully it would be something to get him the hell out of this conversation.
From Bibbi: Charming, told Santana could have the jet Thursday AM as long as back by 8AM Monday.
From Blaine: Thanks so much. Dad's taking his when takes Mom to the house in Hawaii for Valentine's.
From Bibbi: Anything for you
From Blaine: Love you too
"Ok, I can't solve your vocal problem, but I can get Nichole here for the weekend so you two can tell Nick. Ask her and if she says yes, I'll text you the information. Just do me a favor and when you tell him, remind Nick that Regionals are the next week and that we need you."
Jeff leaned over and gave him a hug "About the other thing. Do you think if I used a dildo…" The look on Blaine's face convinced him not to finish the sentence, so he just left.
The only thing Blaine wanted to do in that moment was go take a very long, very hot shower to get some of the ick off of him, but he thought he had better call Santana while he was still thinking about it "Hey, Tana."
"Charming! Can I tell you how much I love your Godmother? I mean, I don't understand why people say such shit about her."
"First, only she calls me Charming. Second, you don't understand because you see herself in her, which is a good thing in my book. Anyway, I called to make sure that there's room on the plane for one more. It's Nichole Duval, Nick's sister. Both Wes and Dave know her and I think the two of you would get along really well."
"More than enough room. Right now it's just me, the guys, Rachel and Quinn is coming down from Yale. Oh, and Finn."
Huh? "Finn Hudson?"
"Fuck, I didn't tell you. You remember how I was sure Brody was up to something?"
"You mean he actually was a drug dealer?"
"No, better, well not for Rachel. He's a gigolo." Blaine spent the next few minutes listening in shock while Santana told him (again) about her Mexican, psychic third-eye, how she managed to track Brody at work and her decision to call Finn. Then for reasons he would probably never understand, he explained to Finn the proper way to punch someone in the face without hurting your hand.
Doc was going to love that one.
Once that was done, he started to text Sebastian to say he was going to take a shower before Warbler practice, but he stopped when Thad sat next to him "Blaine, I need to talk to you."
Not this shit again "Thad, I'm sorry, but I need a shower before practice. Can we…"
"I need to go see Santa."
Blaine was about to start on a tirade when…OH! That Santa. "How do you know about Santa?"
"Don't be mad at Seb. I'm just so horny, Blaine. Kitty's just 16 and sure we play Head Mistress and the Naughty School Boy sometimes…"
"Stop!" What the hell was going on with these guys today? Yeah, so he wasn't one to talk, but still, TMI! "What do you know?"
"That you and Seb got into the shop using your fake IDs, but the guy behind the counter recognized you and knew you weren't 21." That embarrassing moment made the Top 5. "You then talked to him in private for a couple of minutes, now whenever you guys want to go back, you text him and find out when he's working."
"Did Bas say anything about knowing guy?"
"No, but he did say he was pretty jealous for a while since he was so good looking. You wouldn't tell him his name so Seb started calling him Santa since he has the best toys. Blaine, I know you have a hundred other things going on right now, but can you please take me there soon. Porn isn't helping anymore."
"No" Blaine tried to get up to leave, but Thad pulled him back down.
"Why?"
Oh, what the hell. It's not like this day could get anymore absurd. Maybe Thad wouldn't even remember "Santa is Jeremiah."
Unfortunately for Blaine, Thad knew exactly who that was "Jeremiah? Gap Attack, Jeremiah? Oh my god, do you realize the guy you told You can keep your toys in the drawer tonight, now pulls toys out of a drawer and hands them to you?"
Ok, most embarrassing moment 1A, right after the Gap Attack itself "Are you finished? Remember, you came to me for a favor."
"I'm sorry…but OMG…I wish…I could…have seen your face…when you saw him" Thad could barely get out as he tried to speak, laugh and breathe at the same time.
"Fine, I'll text Jeremiah and see if he's working Monday evening. But if you say anything to anyone, especially Bas, they will never find your body."
"Why Monday?"
Blaine got up to leave but answered "Because we are busy every day until then, plus I need to give him a head's up. I'm going to go take a shower and then see you at practice in 90 minutes." Holy crap, had it really only been an hour since he left the math lab?
As he walked to his room, he thought about Jeff and Thad. Had they been messing with him? Had they hatched some X-rated plan to keep him from obsessing on what else was going on? If that was the case, Thad was a fucking dead man because Blaine had planned on taking the Jeremiah secret to his grave. But what about Brody being a gigolo? Was Santana in on the plan, or was this all some smutty cosmic coincidence?
He had just made it to his room when his text alert started going off like crazy.
From Sam: 911
From Sam: 911
From Sam: 911
"Hey Sammy, what's wrong? Did something happen to your family?"
"It's not Sam, Blainey. It's me."
"Sugar Bear, why did you contact me with Sam's phone? And where's Sam?"
"My phone is in my locker, Sam left his phone on the stage and now Sam has locked himself in the costume room and says he won't come out until he sees you. So, I was able to unlock his phone and call you while Kitty went to get mine. He really should have a stronger password that Blam."
"Can't Coop handle this?"
"Cooper had to go out of town, remember?"
That's right, Cooper had called saying there was something he had to take care of and he'd be back Thursday morning "I remember now. Probably something having to do with his condo closing. Please tell me he sent someone to take his place today. Why are you giggling, Sugary Sweet?"
"He sent Dmitri."
Damn, he loved his brother "He sent the head of your daddy's security team? I bet Schuster loved that."
"When I get my phone, I'll text you the picture of his face when Dmitri walked in." Considering Dmitri was 6'6'' and looked like he could crush a small car with his bare hands, that had to be quite the picture. "So? Are you coming?"
"Yeah. I need a shower and have to tell Bas so he knows I won't be at practice. It probably won't be until six before I get there."
"Ok, I'll try and let Sam know you're coming. And I'll order some pizza so you'll have dinner."
"Always take care of each other."
"Always take care of each other. See ya' soon, Blainey."
He once again went to text Sebastian, when Beat came in and had Sebastian with him. Blaine walked over and laid his head on his boyfriend's chest as he wrapped his arms around him, then inhaled deeply. He always smelled so good.
"B? What's going on?"
"You're going to have to run practice by yourself. Evidently, Sam has locked himself in the costume room and won't come out until he sees me."
"Why don't they just get the janitor to open the door?" Beat asked, like it was the obvious thing to do.
"Honestly? I'm pretty sure no one thought of it. Plus, I don't think that's the point."
Sebastian could see how stressed Blaine was and came up with a different plan "Why don't we cancel practice for today and I drive you to McKinley. Before you protest, the guys know the Diva-Off routine forwards and backwards. They're good."
"And, most of the guys have more than one test tomorrow since there's no classes on Thursday or Friday. They'll appreciate the extra study time" Beat added. "It will be fine, Blaine. If you want, I can call Puck and see if he knows anything."
"Thanks, Beat. That sounds great. Can you text everyone?" While Beat went to do just that, Blaine turned back to Sebastian "Are you sure you want to drive me to Lima? We wouldn't get back until late. I should probably talk to the Resident Advisor about curfew before we leave."
"Neither of us has 1st period on Wednesdays, so why don't you see if we can crash at your room at Sugar's."
"You, my love, are brilliant. Let's get changed and get on the road."
Like he had predicted, they arrived at McKinley close to 6PM. When they met up with Sugar and Kitty in the auditorium, Blaine had to stop himself from thinking of Thad and Kitty and some sort of The Cheerleader and the… roleplay. He tried to not look at Kitty anymore after that.
Blaine led Sebastian back to the costume room and then knocked on the door "Sam, it's Blaine and I have Bas with me. Can we come in?" They heard the lock click open, but when they entered the room the lights were off. "Sam?"
The lights flicked on and there Sam stood, dressed like some sort of glorious BDSM angel. He was shirtless and every single one of his (holy shit, is that an 8-pack?!) abs were perfectly defined. His pants hung low on his hips and were so tight that the word hung came to mind yet again. The pants were tucked into knee high boots, but the best part of the costume were the pair of wings harnessed to his back. They almost looked like they were made of bone, and appeared both strong and delicate at the same time.
Evidently, Blaine had been wrong earlier. The day had definitely just become more absurd.
It took a minute for Blaine's brain to being to function again, but even then all he could say was "I guess this means you're doing Gaga for the Diva-Off, and this is your costume?"
"I have a black skull cap also."
Sebastian began to shake his head "No, no, no, no, no, no. Go with the long hair. It's more…angelic. Although, I'm pretty sure someone could grab the wings to hold onto instead." The comment earned him an elbow to the ribs from his boyfriend "What? Just trying to be helpful."
"Sam, your costume is amazing" Blaine managed to say with a straight face. "I don't understand what the problem is."
"Narissa told me that Wes is coming to support you guys in the Diva-Off. Do you think he's ever going to let me see his sister again after he sees me like this?"
"Sammy, calm down. I'll talk to Wes ahead of time and tell him about Gaga and…"
"What if it was Nick dressed like this and Sugar was in the audience?" Sam interrupted to ask. "How would you react?"
Before Blaine could answer, Sebastian jumped in "Not a problem because Duval would never look like that in that costume. And the answer to how Sugar's over-protective, psycho cousin would react is pretty self-explanatory." That last part earned him another elbow to the ribs.
Blaine walked over, took Sam's hands in his and tried desperately not to stare at his best friend's full, luscious, perfect for a blow-job lips (especially after what Sebastian had said earlier) "Sammy, you've got to calm down. Nari likes you. She likes you a lot and she stopped giving a shit about anything Wes had to say when she was twelve. I know you were hurt by Quinn. And Mercedes. And Brittany. And I don't know what you had with Santana, but I can guess it wasn't healthy. You can't be so scared that you're going to lose her that you drive her away. Be happy. Concentrate on whatever sappy, country song you're going to sing to her at the Sugar Shack."
Sam engulfed Blaine in his arms and muttered "Thank You" over and over again. When they pulled apart, they saw Sebastian standing there taking pictures with his phone "What?" he asked looking both innocent and guilty at the same time. "This isn't my Valentine's Day present?"
Four hours later at the Motta house, Blaine was enjoying the sound and the feel of Sebastian's breath on the back of his neck. It was one of his favorite parts of what Sebastian referred to as his Big Spoon Duties. However, with the ridiculousness of the day over, Blaine's thoughts drifted back to one place, Stanford. How could he tell Sebastian that he didn't want him to go to California when they agreed not to try to influence the other?
"Either tell me what's bothering you or stop overthinking it" Sebastian told him. "I can hear the words tumbling around in your head, but I can't read your mind."
"How did you know?"
"Your shoulder muscles tighten up when something's bothering you."
"Oh." That simple sentence proved to Blaine how well Sebastian knew him. Loved him. He knew he had to tell Sebastian that he didn't want him to go to California. "I have something I need to tell you."
"You mean that Santa is really Mr. Gap Attack?"
Blaine didn't know he could roll over that quickly "What?...How?"
"Thad told me that you had agreed to take him to see Santa. I thought there was no way in hell you would actually agree, but when you did I knew you had to have told him. That meant I had to tell you that I've known all along he was Jeremiah."
"How did you even know about Jeremiah?"
"Have you met our friends? It was probably less than half an hour after I first heard the name Blaine Anderson that I heard about the Gap Attack. I was curious and wanted to see what your first big gay crush looked like. It took a little digging, but I found him on Facebook. I was just as surprised as you when we saw him at the shop."
"I don't know if that story was sweet or creepy, but now it's only fair that you tell me about your first big gay crush."
"Easy. Dark hair, big expressive eyes, perfect ass, sex on a stick and sings like a dream…"
"Bas."
"Blaine, I'm serious. Yes, I had been attracted to other guys before, but when I first saw you I was hit with feelings I didn't understand. It was more."
Blaine moved closer and gently kissed him. The kiss continued for quite a while, but never turned into anything more serious than an expression of the love they felt in that moment. All of the issues that had seemed so pressing at the time, they could wait until tomorrow.
While Blaine and Sebastian were happily cuddled up together, Finn was being handed an ice pack. "This ice is for the swelling." Then he was handed a glass of scotch on the rocks "This ice is for the pain. You should have paid better attention when Blaine was telling you how to throw a punch."
"I did what he said" Finn mumbled. "Well, the first three or four times." He took a sip of the scotch before putting a pillow under his other hand to keep it elevated. "I still don't understand why you're being so nice to me."
Cooper took a sip of his own drink and told him "I'm not being nice, this is tit-for-tat. I helped you with Brody today and you're going to help me with Travis tomorrow."
Note:
Jeremiah was in Episode 2x12 Silly Love Songs and the lyric mentioned is from When I Get You Alone by Robin Thicke
Sam's costume comes from Episode 5x04 A Katy or A Gaga
Finn punched Brody (Rachel's then boyfriend) in episode 4x16 Feud