Day 123
Drakken slept in late. Shego had been surprised to find him still asleep, since more often than not he was lying awake by the time she woke or he was already up and gone. She had taken advantage of the time to go about a slower, more normal morning routine like she remembered having before the pandemic, even sitting on the sofa to have her breakfast and coffee and watch the news. But when he still wasn't up by almost lunchtime she began to worry.
She was further surprised when going back to check on him that he was still asleep, exactly where she'd left him. His brow was slightly furrowed as per usual, but he seemed to be sleeping peacefully if the slow rise and fall of his chest meant anything. She felt his forehead and noted he still had a slight fever, but it wasn't anything to be concerned about. She tiptoed back out of the room and headed toward her own.
After the departure of the UN officers the previous day, the unspoken consensus not only between them but also the henchmen was that...it was time for a break. Shego hadn't expected Drakken to actually honor it himself. And she was sorry that she was about to pull him away from it.
In her room, she went straight for the closet and the locked box buried back beneath some shoes she never wore. If she didn't give the stolen Global Justice records to Drakken soon...she never would.
No one knew about her past. If asked, a select few in Go City may claim to have memories of the young super-heroine who had once been part of Team Go and shocked everyone by turning villain. But almost no one knew about the person who had existed before 'Shego.'
As far as she was concerned, no one ever would. Except... Now for the first time, there was a chance that something might be wrong with her powers. And there was no way she would ever ask Global Justice for help.
Which left only Drakken.
Questionably mad, questionably evil...questionable scientist. If he hadn't created a proven vaccine, she probably would have felt completely helpless to find someone qualified and trustworthy.
But in addition to the scientific secrets about her, there were also the personal ones. How she had gotten her powers, what had happened immediately after, how Global Justice fit into it all—only her brothers knew the truth, and she considered them brainwashed pawns of the machine. She had been alone with the secrets for so long that she assumed it would always be that way.
Now she had the choice of trusting someone. Someone who six months ago she would have laughed at the idea of trusting with any secret. Until she had made the choice to change things.
She really wasn't sure when she had fallen in love with him. All she knew was...she remembered waking up thinking about him and wanting to hurry to the lab to start teasing him and seeing him react. And every reaction, no matter how absurd, had started causing butterflies in her chest.
She wasn't the risk taker, and yet...on that night when everything changed she had taken the biggest risk of her life.
Until now.
Hefting the strongbox out of her closet with both hands, she started back toward Drakken's room. Her heart...she knew was mendable. If it had turned out that he didn't love her, she could have moved on. But turning over the secret of her powers, her brothers' powers, and the truth about the person before 'Shego' wasn't something she could ever take back.
Drakken was still asleep when she arrived back in the room. She set the strongbox on the bed and then after a moment's consideration, she crawled toward the center of the bed and lay down atop the blankets about two feet distant from the blue-skinned villain.
He needed sleep more than anything else, and she wasn't about to wake him when finally, he was truly at rest. She may also be able to calm her anxious nerves in the time before he woke.
Shego was drifting in the twilight between sleep and wakefulness when movement next to her caused her to turn. Drakken was slowly blinking and peering around, his eyes focusing on her face a second later. He looked alert and well-rested.
She smiled at him. He smiled back, a rarely-seen peace in his eyes.
As long as he was all right, she could bear anything.
"Shego... When will we know if the baby is a boy or a girl?"
The flutter that arose in her heart at his words caused every other thought to vanish from her mind.
"We could make an appointment to find out... If they'll let us," she added with a furrowed brow.
The pandemic had thrown the world into a chaos worthy of the most legendary villain. The accusations and shifting of blame were at a maximum, with apparent truths changing daily. The result was a social confusion that had some people calling the police over folks walking their dogs, and others teaching neighbors and strangers how to make protective face masks.
And of course, the hospitals were still overloaded. The irony to the social issues was that the spread of the disease actually seemed to be slowing. And if the UN approved the use of Drakken's vaccine, there was potential of the pandemic being the briefest in known history.
"Hmm..." Drakken mused over her point, shifting up to lean on his elbow. His eyes caught sight of her strongbox. "What's that?"
The happy fluttering vanished from Shego's chest like a vapor.
"Those..." she took a deep breath, "are the records I stole from Global Justice when I left Team Go."
Drakken looked between her and the box, and after a moment she sat up and dragged it closer.
"Shego... You really...don't have to—"
She stopped his words with a flare of her hands, studying them in concern.
"What if something's wrong with me...and it can hurt the baby?"
Drakken swallowed slowly, and then watched silently as Shego unlocked the box. She lifted the lid and then pulled out the first of dozens of manila folders, the box packed to capacity.
"This is... Well, here, you'll figure it out faster. It's not as organized as your vaccine research."
She pushed the box in front of him and held out the folder, but he hesitated in taking it, his expression quickly falling into worry.
"Shego... Are you sure? You've always said that...the past is going to stay in the past."
Shego had scooted back to the headboard and curled up against the ever-present pile of pillows. She had tried to stay neutral about it for his sake, but she knew her own expression was clouded.
"Yeah, well. You reading it isn't going to make it come back. I hope..." she said, the last added under her breath.
Drakken looked between her and the folder in his hands. "Do you...want to go through it with me?"
After a few moments she shrugged and patted the spot next to her. He moved back and sat leaning up against the headboard.
"Are there...any parts in particular you don't want me to read?" he asked.
Shego finally let a scowl escape. "I don't want you to read any of it."
When she glanced up from where her eyes had been fixed on the folder, his countenance had only grown more worried.
"I...want to respect your privacy, Shego."
She sighed. As much as it still bothered her, his words did the trick. He may as well have been whispering sweet nothings in her ear and showering her in praise. Because he meant it, and that alone was enough to let her know...she really could trust him.
"Doesn't matter. You may as well know everything," she said, shifting up slightly to be nearer to him.
He still looked skeptical. But after another few moments of studying her to be sure it was truly all right, he glanced at the label on the manila folder and opened it to the first page.
Shego's arms were folded on the armrest of the sofa, her head lying atop them as she stared ahead at the TV with the volume turned low. She was sick of watching the news, but since Drakken's questions were becoming bolder and more frequent it was a welcome distraction from her memories.
For the moment, the digging into her past had stopped as he had left the spread of folders and papers on the coffee table to go make them dinner. He had been gone for maybe twenty minutes when Shego realized that even the questions were better than being left alone with her thoughts.
She pushed herself off the sofa and hurried into the kitchen where Drakken was standing over the stove stirring what looked like a meat sauce. On the next burner was a pot boiling with noodles.
Drakken glanced back upon hearing her come in. "It will be ready in about five minutes. The garlic bread is almost done," he said, stepping back to peer down through the oven door.
She leaned forward on the kitchen island and sighed, watching him. The pink apron he wore actually looked less out of place since he had lost weight, but the latter fact was only a reminder of how damaging the disease was. She wondered not for the first time if the problem with her glow had something to do with the virus.
"What's in the sauce?" she asked, searching for further distraction.
"Ground beef, onions, salt, garlic... Tomatoes," he finished, glancing back at her with his brow raised in question.
"Nothing spicy?"
"No?"
"Good." He was still looking at her curiously, so she clarified. "Doesn't sit well anymore," she said, rubbing her belly lightly.
"Oh..." he mused, turning off both burners and then grabbing the boiling pot of noodles. Shego frowned as he seemed to be struggling slightly.
"You can't even lift a pot of water?" she said.
Drakken frowned. "Of course I can," he said as he turned the pot over into a colander. The action was accomplished with far less than his usual grace in the kitchen, and took far too much time. After the noodles had drained he dumped them into the saucepan and continued stirring, now with a small, indignant frown.
Shego smirked and stepped around the island.
"You need to come down to the gym with me now that things aren't so crazy," she said.
"Hn. Thought you were supposed to take it easy?"
"Me taking it easy will be just the right starting place for you," she said, her smirk growing.
He faced her with an annoyed frown, and then was startled as she placed her open palm high on his chest and pushed him. He stumbled back, a few drops of sauce flying off the spoon in his hand.
"See?" she grinned.
"Hnn..." He set a hand on her shoulder and tried to push her back, but she didn't budge. A light cackle escaped her lips as he scowled and turned back to the spaghetti. "Just because you've had combat training since you were a child doesn't mean I'm some sort of lightweight."
Shego's grin fell. He had read about the intensive work she and brothers had been put through almost from the very beginning.
"Me knowing how to fight doesn't have anything to do with you being a wimp," she countered, moving past him to go sit at the kitchen table and wait for food. She missed his confused glance as the lightness had left her voice to be replaced with scorn.
Shego sighed and leaned forward with her elbows on the table. He would probably be bringing up things from her past to taunt her, now that he was learning everything. And even if he only meant it in jest...not one of her memories could be labeled as pleasant.
After a minute, Drakken set the steaming pan in the middle of the table along with a tray of fragrant garlic bread and a fancy cheese-grating device with a block of Parmesan. Shego looked up when an empty plate and a glass of water were set in front of her. She sighed and reached for the spaghetti only to have Drakken grab the tongs before her. She was about to protest, but he put the dollop of pasta on her plate instead of his. When she looked up and met his eyes, they were concerned and a touch hurt.
She looked down.
She could trust him. That wasn't the problem. It was just her, and wanting to keep the past in the past.
She didn't say a word, but only picked up her fork to start eating as he served himself. She watched as frustration joined the other two emotions in his eyes to form a deep, swirling confusion. She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to apologize for the earlier casual strike, but he beat her to it.
"When do you usually go down to the gym? I, uh...don't think I've ever been there while you were working out."
Shego looked down again. Why was he, Dr. Drakken, suddenly the bigger person?
"Well I haven't in awhile..." she mumbled.
No matter how much her mind screamed at her to just get over herself, she couldn't seem to form any words that would get them past the tension she'd created. So their dinner was spent in a series of awkward conversation-starters that didn't go anywhere, with Drakken looking more and more stressed and probably wondering if he'd done something wrong.
They both cleaned their plates awfully quickly, Shego only going slow enough to make sure Drakken ate absolutely everything on his. But after she sat back and sighed, asking about dessert, Drakken had apparently had enough of her.
"Shego," he said, standing with a frown. "Just tell me everything you don't want me to read."
"I can't," she said, shaking her head.
"Just separate everything out for me," he continued.
"I can't," she growled, "because everything's so mixed up and I don't know where all the important stuff is. And to find it, I'd have to read it all, and..."
She stared without focus to where he stood across the table, hands on his hips. He didn't respond, so after a moment she warily looked up at his face. He was back to looking concerned.
"Rgh, don't look at me like that!" she said, crossing her arms and drawing her knees up to her chest—a difficult task in the small dining chair.
She tensed as he suddenly stepped past her and returned to the kitchen. She whirled around to see him open the fridge and freezer at the same time.
"We can have strawberry smoothies for dessert," he said, avoiding the subject of her past again. Just like she wanted.
She slowly stood and watched as he laid out the ingredients on the counter and then bent over to pull his expensive blender out from a lower cabinet. She noticed him struggle slightly with the heavy device just as he had earlier with the full pot of water.
"You done over here?" she asked quietly.
"Hm? Yes," he nodded.
She gathered up the dinner plates and took them to the sink to wash, feeling a bit ill. It wasn't just a question of why...but how was he the bigger person between them?
As she set the dishes in the sink she felt a slight cramp in her side and leaned back against the counter. It didn't escape Drakken's notice.
"What's wrong? Are you all right?" he asked, almost dropping the blender on the counter.
"Fine," she waved him off. "Just another cramp."
He was soon next to her anyway and placing an arm gently around her waist, ready to offer support should she need it. She sighed long and deep. It wasn't that he was the bigger person...
'This is love... He loves me...'
She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Strawberry smoothies sound good," she said quietly.
He pulled her closer and she moved to stand in front of him with her back to him, sagging into him as he leaned against the counter. His arms snaked around her and his hands gently rubbed her belly.
"I can stop reading..." he suggested quietly.
She shook her head and straightened up, leaning her cheek against his. "No. I want to know what's wrong..." She sighed through her nose. "...Do you think you can find out?"
He held her a little tighter. "I will."
She closed her eyes and focused only on the the feel of being in his arms and his hands caressing her abdomen. She had the briefest thought—similar to the one she had had on repeat for months—that this wasn't her life, and she wanted her life back. But life had changed. And for all the horrors they had encountered...they had come out of it. There were still there, and still alive.
"Hmm..." she sighed and set her arms over his. She tilted her head up slightly to kiss his jaw, and relaxed back into his warmth.
She had survived everything so far. She could survive this too.
Stacks of papers and folders covered the coffee table and the floor between the table and the TV. They were lain about haphazardly, but apparently they made sense to Drakken. Shego lay curled in the corner of the couch, watching as he would read through several papers and then move them to one of the piles he had created. Occasionally he would write a note on a three-by-five card and tape it to the front of a folder as he reorganized everything in her strongbox.
After enjoying the smoothies made from the frozen strawberries, it was she this time who had insisted that Drakken get back to work despite it growing late in the evening. The sooner he finished, the sooner it could all be locked away again.
Or burned, he had suggested when she expressed the former thought. But the reason she had stolen the information in the first place was in case of a situation like they currently faced. And there was no telling if they would need to bring it all out again someday.
She had begun yawning about thirty minutes after the last folder left the strongbox. She had hoped it could be done in one day and then buried back in her closet and memory, hopefully forever. But there was so much material...it seemed next to impossible that he could finish studying it that night.
After her head nodded forward in sudden sleep for the third time she decided it was time to call it a night. She sat up and stretched, and then blinked in surprise as Drakken picked up four folders and came to sit next to her.
"I...have everything I need, now," he said. "I just need to do some tests on you."