Summary: Sebastian gets a visit from a person he never expected and Blaine moves forward with his plan to hurt those that hurt the boy he loves.
Notes: The Dirty Dozen are all singers to make it easier for me. I understand there would be different disciplines at NYADA so let's all assume they have their own competitions for a scholarship.
Sections of the songs used were removed and replaced with text. Song lyrics are in italics.
Canon dialogue was used in this chapter. Please see previous chapters for disclaimer.
Warning: Talk of Depression
Reminder: In the review of OC's in Chapter 58, I forgot to include Dr. Shepard's first name which is Derek (yes, like Grey's Anatomy with no h). Blaine fired him because he shared information with his parents without getting Blaine's consent.
Sebastian sat in his comfy chair and stared out his bedroom window at the city. He loved it here. It was his third favorite place in the world after Paris and Blaine's bedroom at the Motta's. No, it wasn't about sex. It was about how at peace he felt there and right now he was feeling anything but peaceful. The news Burt Hummel had taken the blame for Gayface (he refused to even think the bastard's name again) had hit him hard. The son of a bitch got away with it. Months of dealing with the then Head Master's vailed threats and then having Hunter as a quote/unquote babysitter and nothing. Nothing except a good (and innocent) man had his reputation shattered.
Mike had been great after Blaine showed them the news. He managed to calm Blaine down and convinced him to go to his NYADA meeting. Then he somehow made the Columbia tour enjoyable despite knowing that was the last place Sebastian wanted to be. When they were finished, he repeated his offer to help with Sebastian's Computer Science Project but they both knew he wasn't in the right frame of mind to work on it.
So instead, Mike went to check on Beat and Artie while Sebastian went to the Metropolitan Art Gallery to work on his other unfished Graduation Project…Art History. He had been secretly dragging it out, but in a good way. He loved everything about this project and for a couple of hours he was able to lose himself in the beauty of the Renaissance before finally heading home. On Wednesday when Blaine was in rehearsals all day, he planned to go back and see the Visitors to Versailles Exhibit. If he couldn't go to Paris, Paris could come to him.
He was thinking of calling Trent when there was a knock. It was most likely Rosa and he wasn't in the mood to have yet another discussion on whether or not he was eating dinner. "Go away. I'll eat if I'm hungry" he yelled at the door.
"Ok, but I'd still like to come in."
It wasn't Rosa. Sebastian sprang out of the chair and opened the door. What the hell was Blaine's ex-therapist doing here? "Dr. Shepard?"
Derek pointed at the chair and took Sebastian's nod as a sign to sit there. "To answer the question you haven't asked, Blaine knows I'm here."
Sebastian sat on his bed and got settled with his back against the headboard and his arms wrapped around his bent legs. Yes, he knew what his body language symbolized but didn't care. The guy was a shrink, he could figure it out. "I don't understand. Last thing I knew you were fired."
"I am but Blaine called me yesterday evening. Said he was on a plane back to New York and we had four hours to talk about what happened. I apologized, he apologized but trust was broken and that's something a therapist/patient relationship cannot come back from. But according to Blaine, friends can talk whenever and about whatever as long as they keep what's said to themselves."
"So, you and B are friends?"
"He's sending tickets for me and my husband to go to his concert on Friday. Alan's excited. Hell, I'm excited. We're turning this into a romantic three-day getaway. Did I answer your question?"
Sebastian began to fidget. Derek could see the internal struggle he was having and decided to let it happen. He had gotten to know Blaine's boyfriend a bit over the past few months. Sebastian was a straight-shooter but the boy had a vice-grip on his emotions around everyone but Blaine. Although, he was fairly certain Blaine wasn't getting through these days either.
"I didn't like my therapist back in Westerville. I only went a couple of times and didn't tell B I stopped. I'm guessing he knows since you're here."
"If he does he didn't tell me. He did know I was here for a conference and asked if I could recommend someone in NYC for you to talk to. When I heard Burt Hummel resigned I understood why. You are aware I know all about the Slushie and what happened after?"
"I am and I'd like to talk to you but I can't."
"Can I ask why?"
"You're Rachel Berry's therapist."
What did Rachel have to do with any of this? "I'm not her therapist. I wouldn't take her on as a patient because of Blaine. We had some random sessions but I told her she should find someone in the city. The two of us were supposed to Skype later this week about her search but I had to cancel due to the conference."
His response was enough to put a crack in the defenses Sebastian had built. A tiny crack, but it was a start. "Did B tell you about Tommy?"
"The boy he was attacked with? Sure."
"Did he tell you Tommy is alive and is Rachel's gigolo ex-boyfriend Brody that we can't call names because Sam use to be a stripper?"
Derek tried to remain stoic. He closed his eyes. He took deep, cleansing breaths. In through the nose…out through the mouth. They didn't work. "No fucking shit?!" Once again, he tried to collect himself but DAMN! "I want to be upfront with the fact I have a swearing problem. I can usually keep it under control and Blaine knew but…"
"B's got the same problem so he didn't care." Sebastian wondered what Blaine would think of him seeing Dr. Shepard regularly but knowing his boyfriend that's probably why he called the guy in the first place. "I don't mind the swearing either. Actually, I'm kind of anxious to hear your response when I tell you right now B is with Tommy/Brody at NYADA and they are in the same room with Sam, our friend Mercedes, Rachel and Blaine's ex who shall from this point forward be known as Gayface. Oh, I'm pretty sure the guy Gayface went online and insinuated I was cheating on B with is there too."
"Ok, now you're just making shit up."
NYADA
Two minutes were faster than everyone expected. When they were over, the mentors took the song choices up front to arrange accompaniment with the piano player and guitarist Carmen made available. This gave the finalists time to either calm down or go into full-on panic mode while they mapped out their performances in their heads.
Sam brought out his phone prompting a reminder from Mercedes that there was no cell service or wireless in the room. "Crap. I wanted to check on Nichole since her parents are in town to talk about her dropping out."
Mercedes saw Blaine roll his eyes and knew she had to do something. The boy may not be a true diva (yet!) but he was more of a handful than she anticipated. But come on, who better to handle an almost diva than a full-fledged diva?
She almost hated to admit how much fun she was having being her former teammate's quasi-manager.
"Sam Evans, it's guys like you who prove chivalry isn't dead. Why don't you type out the text and send it when we leave? You know it's going to get totally cray-cray when this is over." To make her point she tilted her head toward a seething (and staring) Kurt. "Be sure to tell her you may not be able to answer right away. While you do that, Blaine and I are going to have a chat." She didn't give Blaine a chance to ask why as she grabbed his arm and pulled him out to the end of their aisle. "Why do you have a problem with Nichole liking Sam?"
"The fact she dumped Jeff because of it." Blaine shook his head when he heard how wrong that sounded. "I didn't mean it like that. I know Jeff is beginning to accept what happened but he's still heartbroken. What happens if, or more likely when, he finds out the person Nichole has feelings for is Sam? He could give me an ultimatum and force me to choose between my Warbler brothers and the guy I believe saved my life. The life of the person I am today because I was so far into my depression I thought this me, my authentic self, was gone forever. I know I sound selfish…"
"Blaine Anderson there's not a mean or selfish bone in your body." When she pulled him into an embrace, a certain person's grunt of frustration could be heard from the other side of the room. "Speaking of mean" she whispered as she now recognized how sound could carry throughout the room "I know you're mad at Kurt, and you have every right to be, but don't tell him what Madame Tibideaux told you about Rachel getting what was his slot. It's…"
"Don't worry, I don't plan on telling him." At least not now, he told himself. "But Mercedes, I am going after Kurt and the word I've been using to describe my plan is brutal. If you can't handle that, it's best you get out now."
"Oh, no. I am 100% Team Blaine Warbler on this one. I…" They were interrupted by an unexpected (and unwanted) visitor. "Oh, hell to the no. You better take your British ass and get on up and away from my boy."
Adam didn't take the warning. "Blaine, I wanted to apologize to you and Sebastian…"
Blaine's posturing let Mercedes know he would take care of Adam. "Lose my boyfriend's phone number. If you don't, and I find out you contacted him, you will be introduced to a term I call consequences. Ask your friend Rachel about them. She understands."
There was nothing left to say as Carmen announced it was time to begin. Rachel was one of the first mentors back and Kurt pulled her down to her seat to get in a quick word. "What happened?"
"I gave the piece of paper to the pianist and told him the key and tempo you wanted the song in. When everyone was done, Madame Tibideaux pulled names from a bowl to determine the performance order. Don't ask, you'll find out when she wants you to." Rachel snuck a peek at Brody talking with Blaine, Sam and Mercedes. She decided not to tell Kurt his theory about Mercedes auditioning was most likely true since Brody was the only mentor with two finalists. He would probably throw a fit or something else just as stupid…like choosing a song to get Blaine's attention. Unfortunately, she was sure that ship had sailed. "I know your mentor isn't supposed to ask what song you wrote down, but please tell me you didn't chose I Have Nothing."
"No, even though it worked like a charm when Blaine was jealous of Chandler. I can't believe I didn't think of this song sooner. Blaine will hear my words and know I love him more than the Meerkat or back-from-the dead whore ever could. It's the absolute perfect set-up for when I sing Blackbird on Thursday."
"Kurt, don't push it. I've told you 100 times, Madam Tibideaux will see right through any scheme you have to use these auditions as a way to get Blaine back."
Carmen was now standing in front, ready to lay the final ground rules out for the finalists. "You must sing the song you submitted. There is no going back. It's only fair to those finalists who go first. Names were drawn to determine the order of performance. When your name is called, come forward and check-in with your requested accompaniment or select an instrument if you choose to play yourself. I will ask for your story. Make it memorable. In fact, ingrain the word in your memory. Oh, and when I invited each of you I gave you a task…" She left the sentence incomplete and headed back to her seat. "Shall we begin."
No one wanted to be first, but someone had to be and Rachel recognized her. "She's the girl who was cut on my first day" Rachel whispered. When the girl finished with her introduction and began to sing, Rachel had to admit she was much better than before. She must have taken Carmen's critique to heart and practiced, which was the task she had been assigned.
The next two finalists were Broadway focused singers who were each tasked with a different genre. The boy was tasked with traditional pop and sounded almost exactly like Michael Bublé but the girl ignored her task and sang Popular from Wicked. Then...
"Sam Evans."
"What?!" Kurt screeched out much louder than he should have.
"Mr. Hummel is there an issue?" Carmen was not pleased.
As Kurt stood, he couldn't ignore the smug look on Blaine's face but he didn't care. Once Blaine heard his song he would think back to how getting into NYADA was the first step of their dream. "My apologies if that came out wrong. Sam lived with my family for over a year but never expressed any desire to come to NYADA. This is a pleasant surprise. Good luck, Sam."
By this time, Sam had checked the tuning on the guitar he chose and was facing the others. "Mr. Evans, you appear to be ready." It was more of a question. Carmen planned to allow Sam extra time to prepare if necessary.
But it wasn't. "Yes, ma'am. I'm ready."
"Very well, what was the task I assigned you?"
"Controlling my nerves" Sam said with a noticeable nervous giggle. It helped a bit when he looked at his friends and saw all of them giving him two thumbs up. "Guess I'm pretty much blowing it already."
"No, Mr. Evans you are doing fine especially considering you found out about this less than an hour ago." That got everyone's attention but after the way Carmen had scowled at Kurt's outburst no one was going to ask what she meant. "So, tell us why you chose this particular song."
"You see, Ma'am, when I'm not playing music with Blaine or trying to find songs for Glee Club, I'm a country boy at heart. It's the music I grew up listening to. A couple of years ago my family had some financial difficulties and like Kurt said I went to live with him and his family for a while. At night when I missed my family I would go to my room and play this song. It's my mom's favorite. So, yeah, you can add total momma's boy as a reason I chose this song."
As Sam began the opening chords, Mercedes leaned over to Blaine "You just lost some of your fangirls."
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best, when you say nothing at all
Blaine wiped away tears as he let Sam's voice wash over him. He was so proud of his friend. Carmen hadn't lied when she said Sam found out about auditioning only an hour earlier. Mr. Barnes told her Julliard had come to the conclusion that Sam was an integral part of Blaine's musical process and they were allowing him to audit any class Blaine was taking. Carmen decided to open NYADA to Sam as well, if he could prove himself individually. That was exactly what he was doing.
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best, when you say nothing at all
It took both Mercedes and Brody to prevent Blaine from giving Sam a standing ovation (which Brody assured him was inappropriate for this setting). After Sam finished the competition began to drag. Most of the other singers were good but two were bad, one was awful and one was downright appalling. There were also three that without a doubt would be in the running for the full-ride scholarship. An hour and a half later, they were finally down to two names…
Kurt and Blaine.
"Blaine Anderson."
He walked up to the front, turned around and immediately announced he was ready. "Mr. Anderson, is there a reason you don't have accompaniment?" Carmen asked.
"I'll be singing acapella today and will explain why as part of my story."
"Very well, go ahead."
"I am the co-captain of my Glee Club, the Dalton Academy Warblers. We are primarily an acapella group thus my choice to perform acapella today. I have many amazing friends but the Warblers are my brothers. When I was locked in an emotionally dark place, they brought me out with the help of music. They inspired my writing and pushed me to pick-up my instruments again after I sustained an injury to my hands."
So what if the injury was self-inflicted. No one had to know that.
"They also entrusted me with song arrangements. When I was in that dark place, I was heartbroken because several of my favorite songs now had unpleasant memories attached. The Warblers encouraged me to rework those songs and make them my own."
"And you're singing one of these reworked songs today?"
"Sort of. Your task for me was to show a range of emotions, so I'm singing a mash-up of a reworked song and a song that reminds me of some close to my heart."
"And how long did it take you to arrange this mash-up?"
"The two minutes you gave us to write our song choice on a piece of paper."
There was grumbling from the audience but a glare from Carmen put a quick end to it. "This should be interesting. You may begin when ready."
What Blaine said about the Warblers in general was specifically about Sebastian. Sebastian inspired the majority of the songs he wrote. Sebastian convinced him he could play his instruments again after he damaged his hands. Sebastian was the one that told him to reclaim Klaine songs. He knew he could have said that but it wasn't fair to the other finalists to send Kurt into an all-out shit-fit. Plus, he wanted to drag this out with Kurt like the Head Master held Slushie-gate over Sebastian's head for months.
"This is for you, my love" he said just loud enough those listening closely might hear and then closed his eyes.
Never knew, I could feel like this,
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you, until the end of time
Come what may, Come what may
I will love you, until my dying day
If Rachel wasn't so mesmerized by Blaine, she'd be worried about Kurt. He hadn't moved, hadn't blinked, since Blaine sang his first note. It wasn't just because he was singing Come What May, it was the way he was performing the song. Despite his eyes being closed, you could see through soft changes in his smile and slight movements of his head Blaine was imagining singing to the boy he loved. If that wasn't enough, the subtle inflections in his voice sent chills down her spine and she was far from the only one affected this way.
Then Blaine opened his eyes and everything changed.
You cast a spell on me, spell on me
You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me
And I decided you look well on me, well on me
So let's go somewhere no one else can see, you and me
He was in full-on Sebastian mode, complete with the snarky smile, and blatant flirting. The female (and more than a few male) finalists…and mentors…and staff would blush in spite of themselves when Blaine gave them a wink or a flash of his 1000-watt smile.
The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts
Is here and now
My universe will never be the same
I'm glad you came
I'm glad you came
Oooo…
As if he flipped a switch in his head, Blaine was back to standing still. Except this time, he left his naturally expressive eyes open and sang the ending with a swell of emotions even those from McKinley had never heard from him before.
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
I will love you
There was only a smattering of applause when he finished (Mercedes, Sam, Brody, Carmen and a few staff). Everyone else sat in a stunned silence and Blaine couldn't have been happier.
That's right bitches, I'm Blaine Fucking Anderson. Game on.
"That was extraordinary, Mr. Anderson. Thank you, you may have a seat." Blaine gave Carmen a nod and headed back but wasn't half way down the aisle when "Kurt Hummel."
Kurt walked straight forward, ignoring Blaine as he passed. He knew his ex-boyfriend had tried to throw him off with his performance and it did…but not in the way he intended. The way Blaine sang Come What May was exactly what Kurt imagined for their wedding except they sang it as a duet. And while he used that Other Song as the mash-up, Blaine's snarky, bad boy persona was one Kurt had grown to love. His head told him he shouldn't but his body reacted in ways that told his head to shut up.
His dad had taken the blame for what happened at Dalton so his future wasn't ruined. The best way to show him his sacrifice wasn't in vain would be to live his dream of NYADA while having Blaine by his side. He had to win that scholarship.
Kurt checked-in with the pianist and then prepared himself to pour out his feelings in a manner only Blaine would truly understand.
Carmen had an uneasy feeling and her instincts were rarely wrong. Blaine's revelation his split from Kurt had been messy was a surprise. She was usually made aware of these situations beforehand. To be fair, once Blaine was announced as The Future at Julliard no one at NYADA expected him to audition.
Why didn't she change the order when she had the chance? "Mr. Hummel, may we have the story behind your song selection please."
"I like romance. That's why I love Broadway musicals because the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets" he said hoping Blaine would recall the last time he said those words. "I had a great love once. It was magical. We may have been young but he was the love of my life and I blew it. He was the best thing that ever happened to me."
"Mr. Hummel, I'm going to stop you there. You mentioned your love for Broadway musicals and I tasked you with no Broadway. Did you remember this when you selected your song?"
"Yes, Ma'am. I will be singing a song by Cold Play for you today."
Oh shit! Mercedes grabbed Blaine's sleeve and began to tug to get his attention. She knew there was no talking when a finalist was up front but she had to warn Blaine. "Back when you didn't really cheat on Kurt, according to Rachel all he did for a week was watch The Notebook and listen to The Scientist. I know, I was shocked too. Anyway, she told me he focused on the line Oh, take me back to the start and would ramble on about either a dead bird or you grabbing his hand and the two of you running in slow-motion through the halls of Dalton."
Blaine kept his response to an eye roll but was grateful for the heads up. When he put his focus back on Kurt it sounded as if he had missed at least half of his story. He hoped he hadn't missed anything important.
"So, if I had the chance, this is what I would sing to him."
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Brody and Sam stared at each other while Mercedes looked across the room at Rachel who mouthed "I'm so sorry. I didn't know." Blaine never wavered. Then again, the Director of the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts offered him admittance to her school based on his acting abilities.
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from all my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I…I…I…I, I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try
To fix you
TBC
When You Say Nothing At All (Alison Krause version): Overstreet, Paul; Schlitz, Don 1998
Yes, Paul Overstreet is Chord's father.
Come What May: Baerwald, David; Gilbert, Kevin 2001
Glad You Came: Drewett, Ed; Hector, Wayne; Mac, Steve 2011
I put these together because of how they fit in canon and not that they would work as an actual mash-up. Glee didn't give me many Grant songs to choose from and the one that fit well (IMO) is storyboarded for another chapter.
Fix You: Berryman, Guy; Buckland, Jonathan; Champion, William; Martin, Christopher 2006
Kurt's story contains dialogue from Episode 2x15 Sexy and Episode 6x01 Loser Like Me
Chapter 60! Wow! As always, thank you for reading.