Decisions

Summary: After Dev's death, Josslyn comes to terms with the dangers of Port Charles and decides that she wants to go to a university as far away from her hometown as she can get.

Author's Note: So yeah, I think with everything that's happened in the past couple of years(Morgan dying, everything with Nelle, Oscar dying, the shoot out, having to have guards, Dev dying, etc) Joss would probably want to go to a university as far away from Port Charles as she could. Not just for the freedom, but so she can feel safe and secure and like a normal teen/young adult.

Josslyn sniffled swiped at her tears with the sleeve of her soft, black sweater. As she sat in one of the pews, Cam and Trina beside of her. She stared at the coffin at the front of the room, eyes locked on it, hardly believing that this was actually happening. It had been a week since Dev died and she still found herself waking up and heading to his room before it hit her all over again that he was gone. And she hadn't been happy with him when he'd died, angry and hurt at how he'd treated she and Trina and the things he'd said about Cam. She didn't know what had caused him to act that way and she hadn't gotten to make up with him and now she never would.

"Josslyn?" Trina asked softly, squeezing her arm gently.

Her eyes flicked to Sonny who'd just called her up to the front of the room. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared down at the tearstained paper in her hands, her neat cursive writing smudged slightly. She stood to her feet and walked up. Her hands shook as she straightened out the paper and began to read.

"When Dev came into my life, I was dealing with one of the worst things that could've happened to me. I'd just lost Oscar the month before and was still reeling. I guess you could say we butted heads at first. I found him annoying and he thought the same of me. But...I remember being really upset because I'd realized that this lock with mine and Oscar's initials on it was missing and he held me as I cried. And how he told me a little bit about his mother, or when I went back to school after Oscar's death. There are other moments like that where he was there for me to talk to. It seemed we became friends fast after that. He became someone I could count on. He became family. We fought a couple of days before he died. We never got to make up but I know we would've. And I hope he knows that I forgive him and just because I was angry doesn't mean he isn't important to me. It's the exact opposite. I was so angry because I do care for him so much and it hurt to hear the things he said. So what I want everyone to take from today is, always let the people you care about know that you love them. If you hurt them, apologize and mean it, live life to fullest because you've only got this one life to live. And most of all, remember this boy who became so important to so many of us. I know I'm going to." The blonde folded the piece of paper back up and walked over to the coffin, pressing a kiss to the tips of her fingers and touching the smooth wood of the coffin. With her other hand, she pulled off the second friendship bracelet she had on her wrist and placed it on the lid. Then, she backed away and hurried over to where Trina had stood up and threw herself into the girl's arms, sobs escaping her lips.

The funeral continued on for awhile longer and then they all began to head off to the Metrocourt for the reception. The teens were in the back of the car as Tony started to drive to the hotel when Josslyn finally spoke again. "I've decided that I'm not going to stay in Port Charles after graduation. It's so dangerous here. I mean, someone set off a bomb in the Floating Rib when there were kids and teens there. Dev died, so did Mr. Phillips. I don't want to have to look over my shoulder every five minutes. Dev didn't want that either. Before everything that happened, he and I were talking and we thought it would be cool to move into an apartment together in California. I still want to do that. Not just for myself, but for him too."

"Why California?" Trina asked curiously, exchanging a look with Cam who met her eyes.

The blonde's blue eyes flickered down to her hands that rested in her lap and she smiled a little, a heartbreaking thing. "Coach Gracelynn says that I'm probably going to get a scholarship from USC. I also applied to UCLA. Whatever happens, I'm going to one of those schools. Dev was the only one who knew anything about it. And now you two. Well, and Tony." She laughed as Tony raised an eyebrow at her through the rearview mirror. "I haven't told my parents or Sonny yet and I don't know how to. I'm still figuring it out. But I'm not going to change my mind on this. There's no way to have a normal, safe life in Port Charles and that's what I want. It's what I need. I just hope that when I do tell them, they eventually understand."

Cam swallowed from where he sat and reached out to wrap an arm around Josslyn, pulling her into a one sided hug. "I'm sure they will, Joss." He reassured sweetly. "They love you more than anything and after Dev..." He trailed off, not knowing how to continue that sentence and not really wanting to. Instead, the three of them sat in silence, taking comfort in being there with one another.

Josslyn bit her lip as she watched her mother place Donna back into her crib before she walked into the nursery. It was a few days after the funeral and she'd found the courage to broach the subject of moving to California with her mother. Taking in a calming breath, she called out, "Mom?"

Her mother turned around and gave her a soft smile. "He honey. I just put down Donna for her nap. Did you have a good time at volleyball practice?"

The teen nodded. "Yeah. We're totally going to win the game this weekend." She replied with a grin. "Um...I actually wanted to talk to you about something. It's really important."

Carly placed a hand on her daughter's cheek gently. "Of course you can. You know that you can talk to me about anything. Do you want to go to the kitchen for some hot chocolate? We can talk there."

Josslyn nodded and followed her mother downstairs and to the kitchen, taking a seat at the island immediately as her mother heated up some milk. "My volleyball coach told me that I'm probably going to get a scholarship for USC." She began after her mug of hot chocolate had been placed in front of her. "The University of Southern California."

Her mother's eyes widened at that. "Oh...I didn't even know you wanted to go to a university so far away." She said distantly.

She gulped. "I do, mom. I also applied to UCLA. I know it seems sudden, but I've been thinking about it and just...so much has happened here in Port Charles. It holds so many memories and it doesn't feel...safe. And I want that, mom. I want to live my life without guards and drivers. I don't want to have to constantly look over my shoulder and worry that someone may come after me. Dev didn't want it either. He knew about my plans and we talked about getting an apartment in California together. And just because that can't happen for Dev anymore doesn't mean it can't happen for me."

Carly clung to the edge of the marble counter, guilt clenching at her heart at her daughter's words. She never wanted her little girl to feel this way and while the idea of Josslyn being so far away from her hurt more than words could say, her daughter's feelings and safety mattered more. "And this is what you want, baby?" She questioned, walking over to where her daughter sat.

Josslyn felt relief fill her and she nodded. "More than anything, mom. You can still visit me and I'll write and zoom with you everyday. But this is what I need. Please say you understand." She pleaded.

The older woman gave a watery smile. "I do and if that's what you need, I'll support you." She squeezed her eyes shut and held her daughter close when the girl threw herself into her arms. And if she held her a little tighter and longer than usual, nobody else but the two of them needed to know that.

The End