Alright, so I know that some people have read the beginning of this series before, but I thought that it needed a re-write, with new chapters and storylines ?

So please read, review and enjoy.

…

"I-is- is that- "

Nick nodded, staring at the tiny figure who was screaming on the examination table, "Weapon X's new project."

"… Which is?"

Silently, Nick handed some paperwork over to the skinny young man beside him, "Cloning. It appears as though Weapon X found some old papers of Howard Stark's and wanted a little clone baby of their own. Thankfully they've only been successful once, and that's the result."

19-year-old Peter Parker glanced over to Nick and frowned, "And…. Whose DNA did they use?"

"… Your boyfriends'"

Feeling as though all the air had left his body in one shot, Peter took a shaky step back. "Wade? They used Wade's DNA?"

"Weapon X are responsible for what he is now… it makes sense that they'd keep something of his."

"…. So, he's a perfect clone?"

Nick chuckled at this, "Stark couldn't even manage that… no, someone else's DNA was mixed in as well." He turned to Peter and raised an eyebrow, "Bled at any fights recently?"

"What? No w- "He paused, suddenly remembering a fight around seven months ago with Doctor Octopus, where one of the villains' tentacles scratched his arm. It was only when he got home that he even realised that he was injured, "…. Yeah… yeah maybe."

"Right… well he's half yours as well."

Without even looking, Nick grabbed Peter's arm in order to stop the younger man from falling to the ground in a dead faint.

"I know…" he continued, "… I was shocked as well, but our scientists are sure. It's your kid."

Peter had gone really pale, supporting himself against Nick as he stared at the screaming baby, "I'm nineteen… I'm too young to be a Dad, I'm nineteen."

"You're not the issue."

When Peter turned and frowned at Nick, the older man sighed. "You know as well as I do that Deadpool is not the best example of 'model parent'…. To be honest, I'm not sure whether we should hand the baby over to yourselves."

Before Peter could protests, Nick held up his hand, stopping him in his tracks. "However, if we're willing to let Stark's little robotic experiment go unchallenged, I don't see why we can't give you a chance…. One chance. As soon as he or you slip up, then that's it."

"R-really?"

"Yeah, yeah… Agent Coulson here will help you get the supplies and yes Mister Parker, SHIELD will pay for them this once."

Peter was clearly still in shock, a small smile on his face as the SHIELD nurse walked out of the other room and made her way over, a screaming baby still in her arms.

"Well…" she addressed Peter, a soft smile on her face, "… you'll be happy to know that his weight is healthy for his size, a little lower that what we were expecting, but still healthy. There are no other problems that we can see, no… surprises from Weapon X, and as you can hear, he had a healthy pair of lungs."

"I-I don't he's stopped to breathe since I got here."

The nurse chuckled, gently handing the baby over, directing Peter as to where to put his hands and arms. "There we go…" she cooed, stroking a finger over the baby's flushed cheek, "… in Daddy's arms now. No more scary Doctors or nurses."

To Peter's surprise, the baby seemed to take this into account, his cries slowly settling down until only a soft whimpering could be heard. He then opened up his eyes and stared up at Peter, a sulky look on his face.

Peter instantly fell in love.

"Mister Parker?"

Peter span around to see another SHIELD agent standing there, a familiar one… although the baby attached to him in a carrier was a new feature.

"You're a Dad?" he exclaimed in shock, staring at the sleeping baby that was strapped securely to Agent Coulson's chest.

Agent Coulson wasn't even slightly phased, merely holding up a finger to his lips to indicate that Peter should keep it down, before answering the question. "He's a relatively new addition…. Meet Ian."

Ian simply snuffled in his sleep and wriggled closer to his Dad, mouth open slightly.

"How old is he?"

"Just under six months… you've got all the fun nights ahead of you."

Yeah… judging by the sulky look on his own son's face, the baby was not going to make it easy for him.

"So, what have you decided to call him?"

Startled at Agent Coulson's question, Peter glanced down at his son again, his mind having gone blank. "I… I have no idea."

"… Maybe a conversation with Mister Wilson will help?"

"Y-Yeah, maybe."

Agent Coulson gave him a sympathetic look, before gesturing for Peter to follow him. "Don't worry, it will get easier…" he reassured the younger man, remembering his own worries when Ian first showed up, "… you just need to take it one step at a time."

"… Any tips?"

"You will be stressed… and the first six months are the hardest, but it'll be worth it. I promise."

…..

"Wade?" Peter cautiously made his way further into the apartment, "Wade, you in?"

"Baby boy!" Wade came charging in from the living room, arms already outstretched to wrap Peter up in a spine-cracking hug… only to stop in his tracks, his eyes wide as he stared at the baby.

"You were pregnant?! Did I universe jump again?!"

He then paused, glancing to his right, "Shut up Yellow, it is totally possible! Strange's boyfriend is pregnant in this universe, isn't he?"

"Who's Stra- Nevermind." Peter stepped closer, interrupting Wade mid-rant about different universes and stupid authors who just 'have to re-write everything'. "Wade, we need to talk."

Wade visibly became nervous at this, his fingers tugging at his clothes in nerves. "A-are you breaking up with me?"

"What?!"

The scarred man gestured at the baby, "It's your kid… one that you had with some gorgeous, non-scarred girl, and you want to start a relationship with her, I get that! Honestly!"

"Wade, Wade, no!"

Peter rushed over and pulled his boyfriend into a hug, being careful not to crush the baby in between the two of them. "I have never and will never, cheat on you!" he reassured the other man, making sure Wade was looking him in the eye, "The baby… the baby is because of something else."

Tilting his head to one side, Wade frowned in confusion, allowing himself to be lead back to the sofa, with Peter sitting next to him, the baby still sleeping in his arms.

"He's… he's yours."

Now it was Wade's turn to panic. "I didn't cheat! Whoever the woman is who told you that he's mine, she's a liar! A liar I tell you!"

"Wade relax!"

"I can't relax! Not when that lying bitch is out there!"

"WADE!"

Peter's raised voice finally seemed to get through to Wade, as he quickly settled down, eyes wide as he stared at the younger man.

"Wade… it was Weapon X."

"… What?"

Peter took a deep breath, "Weapon X had some of your DNA… and then they stole some of mine from a crime scene and then… bang, science baby."

There was silence for a few moments, as Wade glanced between Peter and the baby…. Peter and the baby… Peter and the baby.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Wade!"

Wade had leaped to his feet and started pacing the room, and if he had any hair, he'd be tugging at it furiously. "Those bastards…. Those absolute and utter bastards!"

At the sudden yell, the baby started crying once again, his tiny face scrunched up as tears streamed down his face.

"…. This… this is going to be a long night."

…

Eventually, Wade calmed down… mind you, it was only when the SHIELD agents showed up with all the baby supplies and Wade was too excited to be angry.

Once everything was in the spare room, ready to be assembled (and wasn't that going to be a fun job), the pair sat back down on the sofa.

"So…" Peter began, finding himself exhausted despite not doing anything, "… any idea what to call him?"

"He doesn't have a name already…. Shut up Yellow, I'm not calling him Francis!"

"No… I was hoping we could make that decision together?"

Wade nodded eagerly, shuffling forwards. "How about Weasel? He'd be honoured."

"… Don't get me wrong, I like your best friend, but not enough to name a kid after him."

At Wade's pout, Peter rolled his eyes and sighed. "Alright… maybe as a middle name."

"But I wanted Ben to be the middle name?"

At this frank confession, Peter felt the breath leave his murder, his eyes widening in shock as he stared at his boyfriend. "What?"

Wade shuffled from side to side, his fingers twisting together in nervousness. "You looked up to your Uncle Ben… I thought it would be nice?"

"Yeah… yeah that's…" Peter paused, suddenly lunging forwards and pulling Wade into a kiss, smirking into it at Wade's muffled exclamation of surprise. When they pulled away from one another, Peter beamed and continued with what he was saying, "That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said."

"… Do I get sexy times as a reward?"

"Build the cot first and I'll think about it."

"Done!"

….

"Sebastian."

Peter glanced up, lifting his head off of Wade's chest, a confused frown on his face. "Huh?"

"The kid's name… Sebastian Ben Parker-Wilson."

"… Where did you pull Sebastian out of?"

"For Sebastian Stan! The hottest actor ever… next to Ryan Reynold of course."

"Sebastian who?"

"You'll find out soon… if the author actually writes this AU a bit quicker."

"… Sebastian it is."