Cons and Pros
(June 20, 2018)
3-VIP
"Cool," Wendy said as a long black limousine pulled up in the passenger pick-up area of the airport. "A new Demeter XLS. Sweet!"
"That's for us?" Mabel asked as the driver got out—he wore an actual uniform, light gray with a visored caps.
He looked about sixty, with a trim gray mustache and bushy eyebrows. He opened the door and gestured them in, saying, "I will take care of all your luggage."
"Now," Mabel said as they entered the seating area—two bench seats, facing each other, in black leather—"this is Mabel style!"
Amy Barrows got in last of all and said, "Seat belts."
But they'd already buckled up.
"Jan will meet us at the convention center," the assistant went on. "She'll take Mason—or do you prefer Dipper?"
"Dipper," he said. "Everybody calls me Dipper."
"Like Tripper in your books," Amy said with a nod.
"We named the dog Tripper!" Mabel exclaimed. "He loves that dog."
"True," Dipper said. "We kind of got adopted by a smart dog, and Mabel decided to call him Tripper, so—uh, have you read my books?"
"Oh, hon," Amy said, "I get to read them before they're published! I think they're great, very funny."
The driver shut the door, got behind the wheel, and genially announced, "Next stop, Hardling Hotel."
They settled back, Mabel sniffing. Amy asked, "Hon, do you need a tissue?"
Blinking, Mabel said, "Oh, I don't have a cold. I'm just hauling in nosefuls of new-car smell. It's great! Is there a restaurant close to the hotel?"
"Oh, don't worry about that," the assistant said, smiling. "Jan's taking you guys and another writer out tonight for dinner. Seven o'clock, meet in the hotel lobby, and the driver will take you to a place I guarantee you'll like."
"Seven?" Mabel asked. "Well—maybe there's a snack bar to tide us over."
"Bunches of them in the convention center," she said. "Here's the plan: We get you guys checked into your rooms, I'll wait and then walk you to the convention, and I'll help you get your badges and swag bags. Then I've got other stuff to do, but you'll be fine on your own. Just be back in the hotel before 6:45."
"How far's the walk?" Teek asked.
"Three minutes, if that. When you exit the front door of the hotel, you'll see the convention center just across Harbor Drive. If you want to go explore Old Town, there's a trolley stop where you can hop on for trips around town. You each have a special four-day trolley pass that should be at the desk when you check in."
Dipper and Wendy were holding hands and gazing out the tinted windows. Dipper thought to her, —This looks a lot like that time when we went into the weird dimension chasing those ghosts.
I was thinking the same thing, Dip. Pretty view.
Their route passed marinas off to the right, crowded with sailboats and cabin cruisers, and farther out, U.S. Navy ships. They had actually snuck aboard one of these in the other dimension, because that dimension's version of Fiddleford McGucket was camped out there, at the orders of some intelligence operation akin to their GIB, to monitor a potential rip in the fabric of space and time. They had to persuade him to—oh, if you haven't, go find the story called "The Big Con." I can't summarize everything.
-Look, the Convention Center, just ahead!
Wow. Yeah, looks very familiar!
"That's it!" Teek said at the same time. "Mabel, that's—"
"Ooh, cool! And I've already counted fourteen restaurants!"
"The Hardling Gaslamp," the driver announced. "You folks go get registered and I'll take care of the baggage." He stopped under the portico of a tall hotel.
Before he could open the door, Dipper nervously asked Amy Barrows, "Do, uh, I tip—"
"Already taken care of," she said cheerfully.
The driver opened the door for them, they climbed out, and Mabel looked around. "Wow-wow-wowee! It's gonna be so handy! Man, look at all the people!"
Throngs of fans, many wearing costumes, were milling and mingling along the front of the Convention Center. "It's a circus," Amy said. "This way."
The hotel lobby was crammed, too—people checking in, shouted greetings, loud chatter, laughter, long lines at the desk—but Amy took them around to a separate check-in desk inside a room off to the left. "Special VIP service," she said with a grin.
An Asian woman checked them in with crisp efficiency, gave them four room keys, two for 2201, two for 2203, and wished them a pleasant stay. She also gave Dipper a fat white 9x14 envelope. Amy said, "I'll show them to the express elevator."
She led them down a hall past men's and women's rooms, around a corner, and into a niche where two elevators waited. "These go to the twenty-second and twenty-third floors," she explained. "They're the concierge level. I'm riding up with you—Jan and I are in room 2250, at the far end of the hall from you guys—and when you're ready to go to the convention, just call me and I'll walk you over."
"No buttons!" Mabel said. "How do we-?"
"Your room key, here," Amy said, demonstrating how a tap of the key card on a flat round pad between the two elevators summoned their ride up.
It was a bit like taking off in an airplane. The roomy elevator shot straight from Ground Floor to the twenty-second in what felt like five seconds, the doors opened, and there they were, seventeenth floor. Rooms 2201 and 2203 both had windows overlooking the convention center and beyond it, the bay. To Dipper's surprise, his and Wendy's luggage waited for them, along with a welcome basket from Brangwen Books—snacks, including crackers, cheeses, beef jerky, chocolates, peppermint sticks, a couple of oranges, and some hard candies. And a bottle of champagne nested in an ice bucket.
The bed was a California king-sized number, there was a separate sitting area with a loveseat and an armchair, and a fridge, a microwave, a wall-mounted TV—
"I could get used to this," Wendy said.
"I'm not sure I could," Dipper confessed.
Someone knocked on the door that opened to Mabel's and Teek's rooms. Dipper opened it. "Dibs on the chocolate!" Mabel said, making a beeline to the gift basket.
"You've got your own!" Teek said from behind her.
"Aw, nuts," Mabel complained. "Well, I'll be generous. But anything you guys don't want—"
"You can have," Dipper said. He looked past Teek. His and Mabel's room had two queen-sized beds—not that that meant they wouldn't share one.
"Let's freshen up, Mabes," Wendy said. "Then we can go see what this convention's all about."
Mabel said, "Good idea! Guys, you can freshen up in here. Wen and I will take the bathroom in our sweet suite. Have you looked at the bathrooms? The showers are as big as our old attic room in the Shack! And there's a phone beside the toilet!"
The girls went next door, and Dipper and Teek just stared at each other. "How do we freshen up?" Teek asked.
Dipper shrugged. "Don't know about you, but I think I'll wash my face, comb my hair, and call it even."
They did—the big bathroom had double sinks and a shower stall that flummoxed Dipper at first because it appeared to have no shower head. He peeked in and realized that the shower heads were in all four corners of the stall, plus overhead, surrounding a light fixture. Instead of hot and cold taps, the enclosure had a computer console that looked like the controls of an airplane. "Interesting," he said.
"How are you feeling?" Teek asked as they sat in the easy chairs in Dipper and Wendy's room.
"A little scared," Dipper admitted. "But at least they're making it easy so far."
Mabel and Wendy came back. Mabel had changed into her red sweater with a yellow star applique on the chest. "Come on, Teek," she said. "Wendy's gotta change. Hey, wear the blue sweater I made for you!"
"OK, but it's gonna be hot," Teek said. They closed the adjoining door behind them.
"Mabes wants us dressed up," Wendy said. "Guess I'll wear the tailored blazer. Why don't you wear your dark gray sport jacket?"
"I hate ties," Dipper grumbled.
"Don't wear one, dude. Be all stylish-cool!"
Wendy did look pretty in her green blazer, worn open over a white top, and her dark blue slacks. Dipper wore a red shirt, open at the throat, and the one sport jacket he had bought. Wendy had applied her usual light makeup—some blusher, eyebrow pencil, and the palest pink lipstick. Dipper fussed a little with his hair. "Is my birthmark showing?"
"Just a little bit. Why don't you comb your hair back? Nobody's gonna make fun of you."
"Maybe tomorrow," he told her. "Right now—I'm kind of edgy."
When Teek and Mabel returned, they called Amy, met her at the elevators, and she said, "Use your room key to operate the express elevators, remember."
"Got it!" Mabel tapped her key card, the left elevator opened its doors, and they rode down to ground level. After threading their way through the lobby crowd, they stepped outside and headed across Harbor Street to the convention. "Man," Mabel said, "I'm glad my Brobro's a VIP. Those check-in lines must take hours."
"The hotel's pretty efficient," the assistant said. "Now, once we get inside the Convention Center, stick with me. That crowd's gonna be dense."
They sidled and swerved their way through to some escalators, rode up two levels—a little less packed up there—and Amy plucked her convention badge from inside her blouse. A young man in a Dr. Odd costume stood beside the door of room 310, beside a standing sign that read "VIP SERVICES."
Amy flashed her badge, the kid swirled his cape and opened the door, and they went inside.
"OMG!" Mabel squeed as soon as they were in. "Steel Guy!"
A tall, handsome man with a beard and dark brown hair looked around, grinning. "Hey, how are you?" he said genially. "But when I'm not on the set, I'm Rod Downing."
"Mabel Pines!" Mabel said. "So glad to meet you! I love your movies! Even the Sherlock Holmes ones, and I've met the real Sherlock Holmes, and let me tell you, compared to you he was a jerk! Well, not real. Wax, but a replica. Could I take a photo?"
"I don't think I could stop you," the actor said
"Dipper, do the honors! Teek, get in here! Mr. Dowling, this is my fiancée, Teek O'Grady!"
"Lucky man," Dowling said, shaking Teek's hand.
"My brother over there is a VIP too. He writes the Granite Rapids books!"
"Really?" Dowling asked. He, Mabel, and Teek posed, Dipper took six different shots, and then the actor said, "Stan Mason in the flesh, are you?" He reached out to shake Dipper's hand. "My kids love those books. You're here because of the cartoon series?"
"This is my wife Wendy," Dipper said. "Uh, I mean, yes, sir, I am."
"Don't call me 'sir,'" Dowling said. "Wendy, wow! You look so nice!"
"Thank you," she said.
Amy, a little fussy said, "Come on, you have to get your badges."
"Hey," Dowling said as they went through another door into a room set up like an office, "catch me later. I'll buy your books and you can autograph them for my kids!"
"I'll be happy to!"
The convention team was on the ball. Each member of Dipper's party got a green badge—green evidently was the VIP color. Each badge had a still photo from the TV series "Rambling Zombies," the convention date, and "Invited Guest" on one side. Their names were beneath—STAN X MASON / AUTHOR, and Wendy was GUEST, Mabel and Teek both GRANITE RAPIDS STAFF. And each had a horizontal green ribbon at the bottom reinforcing GUEST.
The two girls at the counter told Dipper about the green room, whatever that was, showed him his personal schedule, gave him and each of the others a swag bag, and said, "Have a great time!"
When they returned to the outer room, Steel Guy was gone, but others were coming in. Dipper and Mabel didn't recognize any of the two men and three women, though Dipper thought that two of the latter had to be actresses.
"Let's go conning!" Mabel said.
"OK," Amy said. "I'll let you guys go your own way. The exhibit hall is huge. Check the schedule and see if there's anything going on you'd like to see. But remember—around six-forty, back to the hotel. Jan and I will meet you in the lobby and take you to dinner."
"Thanks for everything," Dipper said.
"You're welcome. And now that your badge identifies you—be careful."
"Come on, guys!" Mabel yelled from the top of the down escalator.
Wendy and Dipper hustled, Dipper asking, "What did she mean, 'be careful?'"
"Dude," Wendy said as they stepped on for their ride down, "I guess we're about to find out!"