Pumpkin Spice
"Latte me, Lucius."
His cold, snakelike eyes roved over the pale, gaunt man at his side. Malfoy had not done well in Azkaban, but no matter, for he was here now and willing to serve him, and in Lord Voldemort's opinion, servitude most certainly included Apparating to the nearest Starbucks when your master is having a caffeine withdrawal. Which he most certainly was.
It had been three days since dear Bellatrix had most eagerly ran off to Starbucks with a grumbling Nott in tow, though he silenced his complaints once reminded of the Dark Lord's wrath.
"Now, my Lord?" Lucius hadn't looked him in the eye, he wasn't that foolish, but Voldemort sensed a challenge nonetheless.
"Do I look, Lucius, like I have the patience for your childish whining?" He raised his eyebrows at the blonde man, elegantly drawing Lucius' borrowed wand out of his robes. Well, his eyebrows weren't visible, but he hoped it would still have an intimidating effect.
"Pumpkin spice, Lucius," he drawled. "And perhaps the Dark Lord will redeem you, once you have proven yourself to be faithful."
"Yes, my Lord, of course, my Lord," he mumbled, and with his cloak whirling around him, vanished on the spot.
Others might have questioned why he, Voldemort, wasn't above buying Muggle beverages, since wizards were clearly superior in all branches of marketing, but those Muggle baristas made a mean pumpkin spice latte.
He strode into Malfoy Manor gripping a latte in one bony, spiderlike hand, his robes billowing around him in a perfect imitation of Severus Snape.A hush fell over the assembled Death Eaters as they looked up at him like the lapdogs they were. Avery opened his mouth to speak but Bellatrix silenced him with a flourish of her wand, attentively gazing at Voldemort.
"Aaahh, nothing is better than the aroma of this latte, my friends," said he in a high, reedy voice that sent a chill through the room.
His eyes still lowered, Carrow dared to speak in an uncertain mumble, "Forgive me my Lord, but how is it you are able to smell this wonderful aroma you speak of when...when you do not have a nose?"
In the back of the room, a surprised smirk flashed over Draco Malfoy's face, though he concealed it quickly as it came.
A few scattered snorts of laughter rang through the hall until his eyes, crimson like the blood of his victims, caught them each in turn.
"Carrow, you speak of that which is beyond your simpleton understanding...perhaps you need a reminder of what happens to those who doubt Lord Voldemort?"
He tilted his face haughtily, and certainly if he had a nose it would be pointed to the ceiling.
He fingered his wand and suddenly Carrow's expression was more somber.
Looking them all in the eye, as though silently daring them, he sipped his latte.
Lucius looked particularly tense, as though Voldemort was the judge about to announce his verdict of execution- and he very well could be.
"Good. Just enough nutmeg."
Lucius' shoulders visibly relaxed, and even Narcissa, ever so inscrutable, let out a tiny sigh of relief. He drew another chilled sip into his serpentine lips, and he could feel his muscles calming as the caffeine darted through his veins. "It needs more whipped cream. Another," he demanded, snapping his fingers. "But my Lord," Lucius blundered.
He raised nonexistent eyebrows at the blonde. "I just...merely thought that vanquishing the Potter boy and preserving your Horcruxes were the priority, seeing as they are of utmost importance."
"Yes, yes," he impatiently waved a milk-white claw at them. "Let me put it simply, since you seem to be incapable of understanding."
He narrowed his eyes at the Malfoys, and at Carrow, daring them to contradict. "The Potter boy will be at Hogwarts all year. My Horcruxes are preserved for indefinitely longer, for I put most careful thought into their hiding. In contrast, the pumpkin spice latte that this Muggle 'Starbucks' brews iS oNLy hErE fOR a LIMITED TIME!"
His shout rang through the long, ornately decorated hall, and feeling suddenly winded, he sipped his precious latte, enjoying the autumn-flavored endorphins stroking his nerves.
Lucius turned and Apparated on the spot without another word.
He briefly pondered how the Starbucks siren would look with his own bald, snakelike visage beaming out from every cup...for when he took over the world, of course, and wizardkind reigned superior...
Knuckles rapped on the outside of his window, and Harry looked up, startled green eyes flashing. They softened once familiar storm-grey eyes met his, and padding across soft carpet, he unlatched the brass window fixture to let Draco in. He was greeted with a chaste, but sweet kiss as the blonde swung through into the Gryffindor dormitory, propping his Nimbus Two Thousand and One up against Harry's four-poster. "How are you," he murmured, wrapping Draco in his arms. The blonde snuggled into his chest and snorted. "The Dark Lord is addicted to pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks, and then Avery made some remark about him being unable to smell it since he doesn't have a nose..." Harry chuckled, grinning at his boyfriend. "Stupid of him," Draco muttered, burrowing further into Harry's sweater. "Father is rather angry with him for prioritizing Muggle drinks over killing you and controlling the wizarding world, but I don't mind it." Draco met his eyes, silver irises twinkling with mirth.
"Oh, glad to know you don't want your boyfriend dead, I really appreciate the sentiment."
"Haaarry, you know that's not what I meant. Plus, just think of what would happen if he took over!"
"Voldebucks...I'm not sure I can live with that."
They giggled, and Harry leaned in to rub his nose against Draco's in an Eskimo kiss.
"Mmm, what about a Death Eater seasonal Frappuccino?"
"Ferret, that's just outrageous...it's year round, obviously."
"Don't call me ferret!"
"You're both cute, short, blonde, and have silvery eyes the color of Voldemort's nonexistent nose. I see no difference."
His boyfriend peered up at him with raised eyebrows and an expression that clearly said "Why am I dating you?", before he promptly burst out laughing. He punched Harry, but Draco was too hysterical for there to be much force behind it. Harry nuzzled his snow-blonde locks in response, and felt Draco relax.
"I'm only two inches shorter than you, Potter," he grumbled once his laughter had subsided.
"I know, I know," said Harry, fingers nimbly threading through Draco's hair.
They were snuggled up in an armchair, fingers intertwined, when Harry drawled, half asleep, "Draaay?"
"Yes," the head resting on his shoulder mumbled.
"If Voldemort doesn't have a nose, how does he smell his pumpkin spice latte?"
"I haven't a clue, now shhh. I do want to sleep."
Lucius Malfoy's heels clipped against the ornate mosaic floor as he entered the hall where the Dark Lord had set up court, his wife and son at his side.
"My Lord," he bowed low, coattails sweeping the ground as he addressed the tall, pale figure lounging at the head of the table.
He artfully ignored the bitterness rising in his chest as he thought, 'that seat at the table used to be mine.'
"Do you have the pumpkin spice latte I requested?"
"I-no, my Lord."
"You dare defy me again, Lucius?" Bloodred eyes blazed into cold grey ones, impenetrable and hard as steel.
"No, my Lord. It is merely...Harry Potter has requested you try the Unicorn Frappuccino, also from the Muggle 'Starbucks' ."
The snakelike slits widened in surprise as he elegantly rose from his carved oak chair, his footsteps echoing through the hall as he approached Lucius, hand sliding protectively around the cup as he took it.
"The Chosen One himself wishes to recommend beverages for me?" He drawled in slight surprise, mockery of Potter's nickname evident in his tone.
"Surely it is not a ploy to kill me-no, Lord Voldemort would sense if there were any malevolent forces swirling in his coffee."
"The blood of a unicorn found in the Forbidden Forest once brought me life," he murmured, long fingernails delicately tracing the edge of the cup. "It is quite a noble creature, and surely any beverage bearing its namesake must be so."
He raised the pine green straw to his lips, sipping it carefully as though it were his last bottle of water in a bone-dry desert.
The whole assembly was silent as they waited for their leader to pronounce his judgement on the Frappuccino Potter, of all people, had requested he drink.
At last, the cup was quite dry, and he licked his chapped lips, the tension in the room quite thick.
"This...," he hissed, "this is...the most wondrous thing I have ever tasted!!!"
The whole hall exhaled in relief, eyes on their leader as they awaited further speech.
"Bellatrix, to Starbucks!"
"We simply must have these for our next Death Eater board meeting!!!"