Last time: Izuku denies the deal for freedom in exchange of One For All, but the police have one more ace under they're willing to play much to Aizawa's displeasure of involving Bakugou once more with Midoriya.

Izuku met Katsuki Bakugou when they were four-years-old, and it took him nary a moment to decide they'd be best friends. Kacchan didn't know it, and he would complain vociferously, but Izuku knew he'd come around one day. There's a moment in time when Izuku gets to be by Katsuki's side without blunder, without pain. Izuku watches Kacchan develop his quirk, sees him learn of its dangers and potential, hears the word hero and unknowingly, watches Katsuki's small back start to shoulder all of society's expectations. His best friend has lucked out, solidifying his reverence for quirks and orchestrating their friendship's demise when Izuku fails to manifest one.

To Izuku, confined to his mother, tears, and replays of a winning smile in the darkness of his bedroom, Kacchan's derogatory treatment, still allowed Izuku to be near the person he thought closest to All Might.

Aizawa is with Katsuki when he enters Deku's hospital room. At this height - the last floor - the view shouldn't be too shabby, but even with the sunny day that quickly chased him into the AC, all the blinds are down. Izuku had been looking away from the door, only vague shapes visible across the blinds, seemingly resting, but he turns to look at them as soon as the steel door creaked open. Green eyes widen when they land on Katsuki. As expected, seeing him is a punch to the gut, and not only because the bandages and copious machinery surrounding him reinforce the idea that he was on the verge of death less than a week ago.

Izuku looks different; Katsuki imagines prison does that to you. He's much paler, and it might be the setting of being chained down to a hospital bed in a flimsy robe, but he looks frail, delicate. Katsuki swallows the rush of emotion that bubbles inside him. He looks older and younger than the last time they met, tired. His eyes, though, they pin Katsuki down without fear or doubt, pure delight.

You know what happened to Midoriya isn't your fault, right?

"Kacchan," Izuku smiles, and he struggles to push himself slowly so that he can look over to them. His lashes cast shadows on his eye as he searches Katsuki's face almost frantically, "is it the real you this time?" Aizawa pats him on the shoulder, startling him out of his stupor.

"No funny business," he warns. Neither teen acknowledges him, the door closes swiftly behind the hero. Katsuki scoffs at Izuku, glancing around the tiny room. It has one chair pulled up next to the bed, but he ignores it. He's too nervous to sit down anyway. It's not that Katsuki never thought about meeting Deku again. It's just that he never thought he'd actually meet Deku again.

"I don't know what the fuck you mean."

"It is then," he answers himself, gaze raking over Katsuki's frame as if he was hungry for it, like licks of flame traveling down his spine, "probably. I didn't know if they'd let me see you."

"You better spit out something good; otherwise, I'll never be back here."

"That's smart," Deku says, catching on to Katsuki's questioning overture. If the detective thought the UA student would be subtle, he clearly didn't know him. This would only go in two ways: either Deku would spill information to get something in exchange or he wouldn't, but if he had never let anything odd slip when he and Katsuki were with each other 24/7, the hero-in-training doubts that he's going to trick him into it today. "I can't believe you agreed to it," his voice colors in wonder, scratchy and unused as it is. His eyes are mischievous, teasing, and it pisses Katsuki the fuck off. What gave this little shit the right? "Did you want to see me?"

"Don't flatter yourself. The Deku I knew is dead." It's an ugly thing to say, but Katsuki means it, means it the way desperate prayers drift off into the night, wishing hard enough for it to be true. He bites down his growl, forcibly relaxing his shoulders. If he lets his temper loose, they'll take him out of here faster than he can blink. He has no doubt Aizawa is at the ready should anything escalate.

Do you think we can be like All Might too?

I'll definitely do it; I'll surpass you.

Guess you'll keep number one hero after all, huh, Kacchan?

"If you say so, Kacchan," Izuku answers, slightly rejected. His hands play aimlessly with the sheets around his waist, just as scarred and sturdy as Katsuki remembers them, but if he is," Deku looks up, tilting his head in question, "do you know what happened to him?"

"As if I give a shit."

"He took a swine dive off the roof." It's a mean thing to say, and Deku probably means it as much as Katsuki. The blonde blames that stupid-ass dream for what he says next. It's not the reason he's there, not the question he's supposed to ask, but it bursts out of him, burning his throat like acid:

"Is that why you did it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is that why you became a villain? The bullying?" Deku gives him a calculating glance as if he could reach inside him and decipher what Katsuki really means.

I used to think you were strong because nothing got to you, but now I know you're strong because you keep going even when things get to you.

"Is that what you want to know? Or is it perhaps whether I became a villain because of you?" Silence.

Why couldn't you see me?

"Kacchan, I tried to resent you for a long time. I really did," Izuku's voice is soft, and before he knows it, Katsuki is as helpless to him as ever, feet betraying him as they carry him to hover over Izuku's bed. "There you were, claiming to be a hero while destroying my things and calling me names." There's no judgment nor anger. It is duly stated, some piece of fiction you read at the tail-end of the newspaper, quickly forgotten. Deku speaks as if he and Katsuki don't still carry the scars of what their story is made of. "All Might wouldn't do that, I thought, but you already know that your attitude towards me was really not that different from what everyone else did; it's just that I put stock in it. The teachers were just as mean, the other kids just as cruel. Besides, I knew society had screwed you over just as much as it had me." Some type of confusion must register on Katsuki's face while trying to puzzle what Deku's getting at because Izuku lifts a cuffed hand to motion vaguely towards Katsuki. "You're doing it right now."

"Hah?!" he hisses.

"You think it's your fault, don't you?" It takes every muscle Katsuki possesses to not flinch back at the flippant statement, Deku dismissive of a concept that terrorizes Katsuki from under his bed. "I can see it all over your face, just like with All Might after Kamino. You probably think that you should've known or that you couldn't save me." There's electricity in the air when Izuku's eyes meet his. It's a challenge, a promise, and a confession all rolled into one. "Kacchan, you've been saving me for a long time."

(I don't think I would've ever made it to UA without you.

A ridiculous, preposterous thought. If Izuku wasn't meant to be a hero, with his selfless sacrifice and his ever-forgiving heart, what hope did the rest of them have?)

Saving you from what? Katsuki doesn't ask because he thinks he knows. His mind flashes to the ever-growing anxiety, to the insomnia, and Izuku's spiraling mental health and wonders again, how didn't he see there was something more? Katsuki picked up Izuku's guilty, traitorous pieces over and over, prolonging the damage he'd inflict on UA and everyone who ever called him a friend. Katsuki feels ashamed that in Izuku's hospital bed, he still cannot regret it.

Whatever anger or hatred or superiority complex had defined them when they'd been children is nothing but ashes in his mouth, long gone cold despite how hard he's tried to rekindle them. Katsuki has faced his demons trying to force a prescribed burning in hopes that something else may grow in the fields of his heart. Stubbornly, Izuku - and Katsuki's memories of him - shine golden, bending gracefully through the storm that has wrecked their lives. No plague tarnishes how in love Katsuki is with him, but no love will erase what Izuku has done. If Katsuki can do one thing right, is lock everything up and keep his head in the game.

"Have you ever wondered why you always feel like you have to carry the world?" Izuku's voice is soft and earnest, deeply troubled by the thought of anything haunting Katsuki. The hero-in-training wonders at the hypocrisy, pondering letting Deku know who is really responsible for Katsuki's nightmares, but...

Young Bakugou, your potential is incredible.

"I don't think that," he denies. It's not that Katsuki thinks he needs to carry the world. He's just aware of the influence he's been granted in it, the impact he's working to achieve. Slowly, Katsuki learned the effect people can have systematically and how much of a wild card he's been. Izuku is proof of both how wrong and right he can be.

"Then why are my choices influenced by you?"

"Look, Deku, I'm old enough to know that I was shit towards you, okay."

"You were," he agrees, and no matter how present it is sometimes, after everything they've been through, it really is water under the bridge, "but it was never about you. Your younger self was canalizing a narrative that society has threaded into our very beings, you see? And you've apologized already."

"I told you to kill yourself; it's not rocket science thinking that that has a fucking effect on people."

"Maybe, but," Deku hesitates, steeling himself for whatever he'll say next, "rest assured, Kacchan, I was already a villain then."

Midoriya's first recorded involvement with villains might have been over 5 years ago.

"The fuck?!" Katsuki's voice is desert sand between them, chafing and leaving entire planes of dips to struggle through to reach the other.

"That's your tidbit, by the way," Deku smiles slightly, but Katsuki knows him long enough to catch the hesitation in his eyes, "I know they're still trying to place a timeline together."

"Before UA?" he confirms. Trying to rid himself from the knot in his throat, trying to wrap his head around the idea. Even back when Bakugou was still beating Izuku around when Izuku threw any sort of common sense to the wind to rescue Katsuki from the sludge villain, he'd stained his hands already. What type of world was this? Izuku's green curls, wrapping around his shoulders, bob slightly with the movement. They're clumped together, and listless, longer than Izuku's ever worn it.

"Before UA," he repeats solemnly.

I've always admired you, Kacchan.

"...How do you expect me to believe anything you say?" Katsuki's voice comes out hoarse, unrecognizable, but he's too concerned as he reaches a hand to the bed's railing to gather some sense of stability. It's a familiar feeling, disorienting like experiencing Round Face's quirk for the first time or finding out the person you love is a villain.

"I can only hope, Kacchan," Izuku's voice is as close to regretful as Katsuki's ever heard it, and if his own carries traces of the pain beating in his chest, well, it's not like Izuku can use the information much anyways. "I can only hope. And, well, I am here."

"Which just shows that you have no fucking brain cells," Katsuki bites out, and it's stupid to be upset about Izuku being in jail (where he deserves to be). Still, it's not the dumbest thing Katsuki's ever felt for Izuku Midoriya. "I still don't understand what game you're trying to play."

"Understand or accept?" Izuku muses under his breath, loud enough for Katsuki to hear, "You know exactly why I turned myself in," his hand reaches for Katsuki, but the blonde takes a step back. Izuku sighs, probably expecting the action. His eyes are the same as always, which pisses Katsuki off. The guy who broke his heart has no right to look at him as if Katsuki broke his own. "...You just didn't think I would do it." He's right; Izuku turning himself in wasn't even a dream, but Katsuki will throw himself out the goddamn window before agreeing with him. Deku doesn't comment on his lack of a response, changing the subject. "Have you kept practicing?"

"As if I'm going to tell you that."

"Have you managed the controlled radio blast? Because in my notes, I wrote to try with a stationary object, but now I'm thinking that something moving might provide better results." Katsuki already reached that conclusion, thank you very much, by himself. Not that he hasn't kept sorting through Izuku's notebook. The only one that Katsuki knows about that wasn't confiscated by the police because it's in the last drawer of Katsuki's desk, inviting jail time for obstruction of justice. Nothing in it will get Izuku convicted of anything. If it would, Katsuki's sure he would've never laid eyes on it.

"You are an absolute piece of shit," and the sentiment comes from the heart, but the insult falls flat/

"I wanted to tell you," Izuku murmurs, somewhat apologetic, "not that I think it helps anything between us."

"It doesn't," because nothing will.

"I know," Izuku says. Always calm and patient and understanding, the sheath to all of Katsuki's dangerously sharp edges. "I know, Kacchan.

"Why go to jail, Deku? What are you hoping to accomplish."

"Kacchan," Katsuki fucking despises how he mutters his name. Like in the old stories, it's as if only Izuku had possession of it, and Katsuki cannot ignore the syllables tugging down into his soul. Izuku struggles but sits up even further. He's still looking up at the blond, a little out of breath despite the insignificant effort. His hand jingles the shackles closest to Katsuki useless, but the taller teen doesn't become distracted. Izuku takes in a breath and injects honesty in his words. Before any of this, Katsuki had naively thought that Izuku was a lousy liar. "Kacchan, I'm here because you asked me to."

You want me to believe shit of what you've ever said after this?! Try your luck then. Walk that traitorous ass of yours right into jail, or don't ever think of me again in your fucking life.

"But why?" When Katsuki found out, things should've been simple, but things with Izuku never were.

"You know how I used to sneak into your room?" Katsuki's known the nerd long enough to know when his point will be unnecessarily redundant but listens anyway. No one else can answer this question for him.

"So what?" They'd done a lot more than just sneak into each other's rooms.

"Sometimes, it was all just too much. To Kacchan, I was always just Deku. In a world writing narratives about me, whether to my failure or my success, you made up your mind about me at one moment or another, and it was worth nothing what anybody else had to say. It could even be called admirable."

Something lights up in Katsuki's mind.

"This is about quirks, isn't it?"

"It's about a lot of things," Izuku evades, but nods regardless, "but yes, I'm surprised you remember that conversation."

"So, what? You joined the League of Villains to make a better world?"

"I don't think there's any mission who will create a better world." The vehemence in his voice is almost anger, Izuku's brows furrow in a way that tells Katsuki's he's sliding on thin ice. It doesn't matter anymore."There's no winning without losing after all. I guess, I just want someone to fight for me, and I've discovered that it has to be myself. Hopefully, it'll be a fairer world, but we won't know until we try."

"You sound batshit insane; I hope you know that," Izuku frown darkens but eventually decides to let it go; he sends Katsuki an annoyed glance. One Katsuki is familiar with: you're lucky I love you, it says.

"When others call you crazy, it only means you're doing something no one's ever done before."

"You've got a witty response for everything, don't you?" It used to be funny, once upon a time. Deku and his endless barrage of old-aged saying, Katsuki now wonders where he got them from with a lot less mirth.

"Don't mistake me, Kacchan; these things I've been working on for a long time."

"How long?"

"Nice try," the hint of teeth can hardly be called a smile, but Izuku does look amused. "The point is that they burn deeply within me. I couldn't have left UA otherwise." This time, his smile is a little frailer but significantly more genuine. "I'm as committed to them as I am to you."

"We are not in a relationship, asswipe."

"Kacchan," Izuku says in mock surprise, "are you breaking up on me? In my death bed? Is it the long-distance?" Katsuki cannot believe he wants to laugh. He's startled by the sudden air rushing out his lungs, and he's quick to cover it up in a cough.

"Fuck you, it's 'cause you're a piece of shit villain." He tries to not look too closely at the cannula helping Izuku breathe. "...and you're not fucking dying."

"I do not believe we should be judged on our careers?"

"You don't have a fucking career! You're a criminal, for fuck's sake."

"People should never be separated by either gender, race, religion, political ideology…"

"Shut up, you shitty nerd, throw your bullshit to someone who'll take it."

"I've missed you, Kacchan," Deku throws in out of nowhere, "more than you know." Katsuki wishes he didn't. "Can I grab your hand?"

"Fuck that."

"Please?"

"Has it not gotten through your thick skull that I fucking despise you?"

I also don't love him like you do, I'm sure.

"Look, Kacchan, there's nothing I can say that's going to change yours or anyone's mind about what I do. But I think you know that I'm not a villain for the wrong reasons."

"There are no good reasons to be a goddamn criminal!"

"I don't think you believe that, you're smarter than that."

"Funny, I thought the same about you."

"Hand?"

"No."

"Please?"

"What are you, five?" But their bickering does remind Katsuki that he's lowered his guard more than intended. This is not a social call, and he's here for a reason. He eyes Izuku, half-sitting up in bed, wrists bandaged under the maidens, and attempts something different. "I'll hold your hand, asshole, on one condition. I ask you two questions, and you answer me fair and square, no excuses or dumb as loopholes." The nerd ponders it, sending a quick glance at the hallway, but only the back of the head of a guard is visible. Deku chews his lip, muttering so fast that Katsuki barely keeps up. He catches things like 'dangerous,' 'plausible,' 'reinforcement,' and his own name; the rest is gibberish. The moment is so familiar that Katsuki feels choked up all over again.

"... Don't ask me something that incriminates anyone else," is the verdict.

"...Fucking whatever," he agrees. "They said a few years ago, someone started selling plans to villains. And god, this is a stupid-ass name, but the guy goes by Freckles." Izuku doesn't react to the statement, only wiggling his fingers in prompting. Katsuki asks for mercy and slips his own hand into Izuku's. As usual, they are thinly coated in a shin of sweet nitroglycerin, but Deku doesn't mind (he never has. Not when they were 4 or 16. He'd always taken Katsuki just as he was.) Izuku's own stocky, scarred fingers squeeze his hand. The pressure is barely there, weakened, but Izuku looks like he just won the lottery.

"Kacchan," he murmurs, the corners of his mind curl upwards lightly, and he seems to sink down into the mattress. The most relaxed Katsuki's seen him since his arrival, he bites his tongue to keep himself from squeezing back.

"Answer the question."

"Oh? Freckles?" For a moment, Katsuki thinks Izuku's going to play the idiot card. Instead, he shrugs and says: "Yeah, some people call me that."

"...just like that?" he chokes out, incredulous, "I thought you've been sitting on this info." Izuku has the gall to wink at him.

"Just waiting for the right person to ask."

"You wanted them to ask me here," Katsuki accuses, unable to read Izuku's face as he looks away, a thumb rubbing circles into the back of Katsuki's hand. It feels like being burned.

"Is that your question? I'm winning here." Pissed off, Katsuki makes a move of removing his hand, but Izuku whines.

"Kacchan, come on, I never see you anymore."

"And whose fucking fault is that?" The nerve…!

"One could say it's yours."

"Fuck you, what? You wanted me to just forget everything I saw and keep making googly eyes at you when you team up with the psychos who want to kill All Might? Join you?!" Then, he stops and glares. "That is not my question." Izuku answers anyway.

"That was never going to happen, Kacchan," Deku says, determined, "I wouldn't even offer. You're too much of a hero."

Katsuki, a weak man, leaves his hand where it is. Just one more question left anyway.

"When are your friends picking you up, Deku?"

"Kacchan?"

"Don't act stupid. There's no reason for me to be kidnapped twice," he's been thinking about this since he'd woken up at the warehouse. "And they do it knowing you'll be there? But then fail to off you? They cannot be that incompetent."

"Kacchan," Izuku's expression, vaguely puzzled and half-amused, is downright condescending. "Do you really think - over a year ago - I made a plan that was I to be captured, the League should kidnap you without ransom to force heroes into asking for my help so that I could be taken to the scene, could get stabbed, so that I'd be what? Taken to a hospital to escape?"

"You know, you had a very similar tone when I said that All Might had given his power to you." Katsuki does consider it a stretch, but there is something about this whole thing bothering him. Aizawa-sensei said that using a high schooler or even a family member in interrogation is basically unheard of. There'd been a lot of leeways to allow this to happen. Almost too much of it for Izuku to have expected Katsuki to see him.

"I love you, you know that?" The statements halt his thought process, extinguishes the campfire inside, and sets off his pulse at rocket pace.

"Stop fucking saying that," Katsuki's tone takes on a dangerous edge, finally garnering enough bitterness to let go of Izuku's hand and put some space between him and the bed. "Don't you ever, ever try to change the subject with me again."

"Are we still discussing my upcoming escape?" Izuku coughs lightly, wincing all the way. He curls a little into himself when it passes, and the sight makes something in Katsuki ache. "I am handcuffed to a bed, Kacchan," he repeats tiredly, "the knife hit me in the lung. In case you're not aware, I've been cooperating with the police. I don't think I have any fans hiding on the wrong side of the law, just in case the stabbing didn't make it clear."

"And yet, you've been sitting on the location of the Villain's base." Facts are facts. This Deku might sound and look like the teen Katsuki fell in love with, but he's not only that. "Or do you expect me to believe that wasn't the first question they asked you?"

"It wasn't, Kacchan; the first question was why?" There's something upset in Izuku now because the glint in his eye turns a little sharper than usual. "And you know what's funny?" He says this in a tone that foretells that Katsuki will not find his answer funny at all. "Half the time… not even I'm sure."

I'll definitely surpass you!

Katsuki's not sure if it's the conversation catching up to him, but he cannot stay there any longer. He takes one step back and then another, and in a blink, he's rushing out the door.

"Kacchan?!" Deku calls out, but Katsuki's had enough; he blasts out of the room, meeting Aizawa-sensei's eyes for a second. He raises a hand, trying to walk off the feeling of his heart eating itself.

"I'm going to need a fucking minute."

I wrote this entire fic for that one chapter with the muzzle on and this conversation, I cannot believe I'm finally posting this, it's been tweaked and tweaked and tweaked again, but here we are.

Tell me what you think!