Part One: Her Secret

Epilogue: Signs of life

Kari sat alone in the dying light of her bedroom. Everything that had just happened felt like a total train wreck, yet at the same time completely liberating. Her heart rate and breathing had both stabilised and her body no longer felt like it was carved from ice. She did not know how long it had been since Tai had left her, but what she did know was that everything would be ok now. Her secret was out. Her brother knew and he had not condemned her. It felt kind of funny, she mused. She'd spent two years trying to suppress her feelings. Distancing herself from him and hiding away from the world. All the while allowing her own thoughts to turn against her and gnaw at her psyche. To create this nightmare scenario wherein her own brother demonised her. Only for the opposite to be true. Instead of yelling about how depraved she was, Tai had been compassionate. He had listened to her story. Understood how painful it had been for her. And in the end, accepted how she felt.

A small laugh escaped from Kari's lips. Ironically, it had been her own faith that had been found wanting. For if she had trusted in Tai, she could have told him two years ago and avoided all the anguish and pain that she'd suffered. She sighed. None of that mattered anymore. While her brother had been understanding and offered his support, he had not returned her feelings. Or, to use his own words, he didn't think so. What had he meant by that, she wondered? While the obvious interpretation was no he didn't, Kari could not help but feel the tiniest bit hopeful. She knew she shouldn't. That she should just accept that, while he understood how she felt and would support her in any way he could, he would never feel the same way about her. Yet it was there nonetheless. Like someone had closed the door, but for some reason, the latch had not clicked.

With difficulty, Kari lifted herself up of the floor and back onto her feet. Her legs shook as she took a step, but she remained upright. The events of the evening had left her seriously drained, however, she knew that she would not sleep. Her mind was still racing and needed time to settle. She walked over to her desk, picked up her mp3 player and slipped her headphones on over her ears. She turned and caught sight of herself in the mirrored door of the wardrobe. A thin smile spread over her lips as she gazed at her lit match hair. Before today, she could not recall the last time she'd genuinely felt good about herself. This was Kari Kamiya. A girl who had fallen in love with her brother but no longer felt the crushing weight of guilt, shame or self-loathing. Now that she had told Tai, she started to feel all the negative emotions that had plagued her for so long, begin to slip away.

Turning to her balcony door, she slid it open and stepped out into the mild night air. Flicking through the albums on her mp3 player she found The Songs of Distant Earth and hit play. She needed time to calm down, for her emotions to settle and her mind to reorganise itself. As the music began she took in a deep breath of the fresh Odaiba air. And for the first time in two years, felt a glimmer of hope for her future.

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When the door to Kari's bedroom clicked shut behind him, Tai let out a long exhale. The conversation he had just had with his sister surely had to be the most emotionally charged and difficult of his entire life. And he had no idea where to begin sorting through it in his head. Body on autopilot, he made his way to the fridge and withdrew a can of soda. It opened with a hiss and he downed half the contents in one long gulp. The only sound to be heard in the apartment was that of his feet on the wooden floor as he walked to his room and closed the door.

Tai sat down on the edge of his bed, not bothering to turn on a light. Absentmindedly, he swirled the remained of the soda around inside its can. So… Kari had fallen in love with him two years ago… The idea of it still boggled his mind, but he'd been forced to accept it. What did this mean?

"That she loves you, idiot," a voice in the back of his head said. "If you'd bothered to pay any attention to her over the past year, you might have figured it out and been able to spare her some of her pain."

It was a sobering thought. If he'd not been so self-absorbed with his own issues, he would surely have noticed something was wrong with her a lot sooner and possibly been able to get the truth out of her. It certainly shed new light on everything that had happened over the past two years. He shook his head. That didn't matter now. The important thing was that he now knew and could offer Kari whatever support she needed.

As he sat alone in the darkness, the question he had pushed to the back of his mind since the moment she had told him, floated to the surface. Is it wrong? Should he have told her so and that she needed to purge herself of her feelings towards him? Society would certainly say so. For he knew that incest was considered taboo. However, the majority would probably agree that you could not help who you fell in love with. Was the argument that, love is love, not one that same-sex relationship activists cited? Did that apply in this instance? He did not know the answer to that. What he did know, was that it was his little sister's feelings that he was dealing with. And no matter what, he could never do anything to hurt her.

Tai took a sip from his soda can. Something else about the exchange was still bugging him. Why had he not been more concrete when telling her that he did not return her feelings? Surely it would have been better to have been definitive with her, instead of giving her a half-baked no and leaving her with potential false hope? His mind then wandered to the kiss she had given him before he had left. She'd moved slowly enough that he could have stopped her. Yet he had offered up no resistance. He could recall with perfect clarity, the feeling of her soft lips embracing his own. The love and warmth that had been present in that brief moment. How he had never felt anything like it before.

No, Tai thought firmly. Regardless of how Kari might have felt, she was still his little sister. The person whom he had shared a bedroom with for fourteen years. Who he'd laughed and argued with. Shared so many happy memories as well as some sad ones. The person that he'd almost killed as a child because of his selfish desire to play soccer. Who from that day on he'd sworn to always look out for and protect. His brilliant, beautiful sister, whom he always found himself telling his short-lived girlfriends about. The girl that he cared about and loved more than anyone else…

The soda can slipped out of Tai's hand and landed on the wooden floor with a low metallic thunk. He didn't even notice. His eyes were wide as they stared through the wall in front of them. A sheen of cold sweat had formed on his forehead, the colour drained from his face and his facial expression contorted to look like he had just taken a surprise knife to the stomach. No… that couldn't be… it wasn't possible… he couldn't be in love with Kari… could he?

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Author Note:

Thank you for taking the time to read this story and I hope you enjoyed it. If so then I would really love to hear from you either via a review or a PM. This is the end for now and while I would love to write part two, for this story was a joy to write, I cannot make any guarentees as to when it may be possible for me to do so. Thanks once again and hopefully I'll see you in the future.