Distraction: Chapter Twenty-Two

I woke up to a bright new day and stepped outside. There was a slight breeze this morning which helped keep down the sometimes stifling humidity, but the temperature would warm up quickly. Grabbing what I needed, I slipped into my work boots and traveled down a familiar stone path. There was a fairly large lizard who had started following me no matter where I went. At first, I was quite wary of it, but soon after I shared my morning meal with her, she had become interested in everything I did outdoors. I didn't mind at all; at least it gave me someone to talk to other than Yoda.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it, Sola?"

In reply, the amphibian's tongue flicked out – another trait she shared with my sister.

Over time, my companion had learned my routine and found a favorite rock to sun herself upon while I worked.

After leaning my rake against a nearby tree, I inspected my garden. In the beginning, I wasn't certain the seeds I'd harvested from my rations would germinate, but happily they did. Nearly half of those I'd planted had taken root. I had to partially thank Master Yoda for that. He had helped me clear several branches above this small patch of dry land I'd discovered one day by accident, which allowed enough sunlight to nourish the plants.

"Look here Sola!" I told my friend excitedly. The unexpected outcry resulted in her opening her eyes to mere slits before she lazily closed them again.

"We'll have some fresh fruit soon and the tubers are coming along nicely as well."

Carefully, I inspected a healthy plant, pleased with my efforts. If I had to eat one more swamp toad, I might have to go hungry instead. I knew I should be thankful for anything I could get, but no matter how they were cooked, they still tasted…well, like a toad.

All the hard work I had put into this garden would soon be rewarded, although it was an ongoing battle. Dagobah seemed determined to return everything back to its natural state. Several vines that had crept into the border seemingly overnight were evidence of that, and I pulled them back to their roots before jerking them completely out of the ground. Sola silently praised my efforts.

I took a moment to quench my thirst and held my head up to catch a slight breeze that drifted over me.

At first, I thought I'd imagined it, although I wasn't prone to daydreaming. I'd given up on Ben and stopped listening for his ship long ago. These days, it was a full-time job just to take care of myself and the garden.

Sometimes in afternoons when the humidity was too stifling or it was raining, I would join Yoda in his home for a game of sabaac. We would talk about our childhood and past experiences as we played, but never about the Jedi or the Empire, and absolutely never about Ben. One important thing I did learn about him is that he cheats. I'd caught him on numerous occasions and when I had, all he would do was chuckle. I guess when you're 800-and-something years old, you can get away with things like that.

While tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear I turned my head to the south, opposite the breeze, and listened more intently. I hadn't been mistaken. There was something or someone entering the atmosphere of Dagobah.

My heart began to race and I immediately dropped my rake. For a being that large, Sola was an extremely slow walker, and I was too anxious to wait on her. I raced past the cabin, around hidden bog number one, jumped over a fallen tree, ducked beneath the roots of an enormous gnarltree I had nicknamed Big Momma, and didn't stop until I was at Yoda's residence. By that time, the Jedi was already standing in anticipation just outside his door. He gazed at me kindly and then turned his attention to a flat area just beyond bog number two.

At some point, I had stopped breathing and took a big gulp of air to compensate as I stared through the mist and fog that no amount of daylight or wind could ever seem to disperse.

Then, I saw him, or at least I thought it was him. A dark shadow appeared moving slowly through the trees. I couldn't yet make out the features of whoever it was, and am ashamed to say, lost my patience. Thankfully, Yoda didn't scold me about it.

"Is it Ben?" I asked, strangely calmer than I felt.

"It is," Yoda answered.

After all this time, I had never given up. What I had done, however, was become calloused. I determined long ago that if he ever did return, I wouldn't rush into his arms nor cry with joy. Regardless of how happy I was to see him, I would silently and unemotionally stand my ground.

The closer he came, the more details I was able to make out. Whatever he'd been up to was revealed in the slight limp he now possessed as well as a small scar underneath his right eye. And at some point, he had dyed his hair black. I wasn't about to ask him about it, mainly because I didn't know what to say. In fact, I didn't say a word. I just stared at him, suddenly realizing he hadn't yet even looked at me.

"Master Yoda," he greeted, and only then did I notice how extremely tired he looked. There were significantly dark circles under his eyes.

"Returned, I see. Much to tell, you have, but rest you need. Rest first then talk, we shall."

I stood stark still and watched him, uncertain of what his next move would be. Following Yoda's suggestion, he bowed his head and silently walked away.

In the direction of the cabin. My cabin! If he thought he was just going to saunter his way back into my life without a word and then take over my home and my life, he had another thing coming.

His unexpected direction prompted me to move. "Where do you think you're going?" I asked when I caught up with him.

"Not now, Padme," he said gruffly, sidestepping a rock.

I'd made this path many times and knew this area very well. I could safely walk it with my eyes closed. "You can't talk to me like that," I fired back. "Not after what you did!"

Without so much as a glance my way, he kept walking, right into my home, where he dropped his duffel onto the floor and collapsed upon the bed.

"Ben."

We needed to have this talk right now! I had waited long enough for it!

"Ben!"

No amount of yelling was going to rouse him. Remarkably enough, when I stepped closer to check his breathing, I discovered he had already fallen asleep.

"Rest now," I told him sincerely, "but when you wake up, you have some explaining to do."