Part Two: His Secret

Chapter Fourteen: See-saw

It was Sunday afternoon and Kari Kamiya found herself alone in the apartment with her brother. She'd spent the morning in her room working on a school assignment, but come mid-day both hunger and a sense of boredom had drawn her out of her bedroom. The former was to be expected, for it had been several hours since breakfast. Whereas the latter had been somewhat of a surprise. For a whole year, she had spent so much time alone that solitary study had become the norm. However, it seemed that suddenly having people back in her life had made it less attractive without her even realising.

In that regard, when she left her bedroom to find Tai lounging on the sofa, she felt the need to break for lunch and go spend some time with him. Since her late-night conversation with him a week past Saturday, she had barely seen her brother out with meal times. Granted between the amount of homework he had and the fact she had been out two nights during the week and the bulk of yesterday, it should not have come as a surprise. Still, she could not deny that she had missed seeing him and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to rectify that. However, first things first, lunch.

Kari made her way into the kitchen and began rooting around in the fridge for any raw materials that had not wound up in one of her mom's abominations. She sighed upon finding there was little beyond what could be placed between two slices of bread. Cobbling together some cooked ham, cheese, potato salad and lettuce, she closed the fridge and placed the items on the work surface. Fetching some bread she looked over towards the sitting area.

"Do you want a sandwich, Tai?" she called over to her brother.

There was no acknowledgement from the sofa that he had even heard her.

"Hey, Tai, do you want a sandwich?" she tried again.

No reply.

Kari rolled her eyes. Slouched on the couch like that, her brother could probably be classified as asleep. There was only one thing for it. "TAI KAMIYA, WAKE UP THIS INSTANT!" she yelled, mimicking their mother.

She watched as her brother theatrically leapt from the sofa while at the same time trying to turn around. The result, he landed on the floor with a thud. After a few seconds, she saw a tuft of his chocolate hair appear above the sofa.

"Do you want a sandwich, Tai, " she asked again sweetly.

Her brother stood up and glanced around, possibly searching for their mother, before honing his gaze in on her, realisation appearing to have dawned. "That was not funny, Kari," he said, sounding more than a bit annoyed.

"Geez, talking with your stomach there, Bro?" she asked. Even from the kitchen, she could hear the sound of Tai's stomach rumble. She laughed, he could be so irritable and grouchy when hungry. "That'll be a big yes then. Why don't you sit back down and I'll make you a sandwich."

He grumbled but did as she suggested and reclaimed his spot on the sofa. Five minutes later Kari crossed the apartment and sat two plates and two tins of soda down on the coffee table. A smile spread across her lips when she saw her brother's eyes bulge at the two-tier sandwich and stack of chips now in front of him.

"Not bad, considering what I had to work with," Kari said as she sat down beside him; failing to notice that he shifted away from her slightly.

"Thanks," he replied, sounding as though he was not quite all there.

"Are you ok?" she asked with a slight tilt of her head.

"I'm fine," Tai said, reaching out to pick up his sandwich. "You know me, I don't function properly when I'm hungry."

Kari did know him. And while what he said was true, something still seemed off about him. Perhaps his current school workload had taken its toll. If so, she knew just how to remedy that issue. "So, how about a bit of Killer Instinct after we eat?" she said, taking a bite out of her own sandwich; yum.

"I should probably get back to work. I've still got a lot I need to do for tomorrow," he eventually replied.

His tone reminded her a lot of the one she herself had used that Friday night when he'd suggested pizza and a movie. That mix of regret and longing she knew all too well. At least in his case, the feeling would not be a continual thing. Unlike how it had been for her. Still, she was not going to let him out of a butt whooping that easily. "You know the rule about too much studying, Bro."

The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as he let out a small laugh, "I'll end up like Joe."

"Yep. So you're going to have some R&R after lunch before you go back to the books. Non-debatable."

Her brother sighed and took a drink of his soda. "Fine, go get the N64 and let's get this over with."

While it was not quite the reaction she had expected, Kari stood up and went to her room to fetch the games console.

##

Tai let out a silent exhale as he watched his sister get up from the sofa and head to her bedroom. He had avoided Kari for much of the week and had hoped to get through the rest of today without having to socialise with her too. In hindsight, it had been a foolish idea to leave his bedroom, however, sitting at his desk all week had become depressing and he had needed the break. Unfortunately, it seemed his recess would only make the situation worse. Why had Kari needed to pick the exact same time as him to come out of her room?

He slipped his left hand underneath the long sleeve of his orange shirt and the black sweatband he'd taken to wearing. His fingers found the scabbed cut he'd made on Wednesday night and started to rub at it furiously. A slight echo of the pain surfaced in his mind and he felt the need to start picking at it. While he hated to admit it, the continual throb had seen him through that night and the following one. Enough to get both his reports done and anything else that needed finished for Friday morning. A gruelling soccer practice to end the school week had left him exhausted but had not been enough to stop Kari creeping back into his mind later that evening. Having anticipated this, he had arranged to meet Izzy yesterday and spend the day studying with him. It had worked fairly well, for the conversation had helped keep him focused. However, today his fortune had quickly run out before taking a nosedive off a cliff. He would be lucky to get anything done after having to spend an hour or so with Kari. While the thought had crossed his mind to refuse point blank, it would have been akin to putting a sign above his head that said, 'something is bothering me'. And that would have caused her to probe. No, he would need to take the hit, lest he raise suspicion.

Tai watched as his sister returned, sat the N64 on the floor and hooked it up to the TV. He took a breath to steady himself before she sat back down beside him. Averting his gaze back to his plate, he finished his lunch without saying a word. When eventually nothing remained on his plate, he turned to look at his sister, only to find her bright eyes staring at him.

"You ok, Tai?" she asked.

Great, she hadn't needed a sign to tell her something was bothering him. For the briefest of moments, he thought about sharing his secret. However, seeing the light in her eyes and the smile on her face quickly ended any notion of doing so. Kari had not been this happy in over two years and he could not do anything that might jeopardise that. "Just been having trouble with my schoolwork this week," he replied lightly. Since it was not a lie she would hopefully not suspect it wasn't the whole truth.

"You're working really hard, I'm sure everything will be ok in the end." His sister reached out and rubbed his upper arm. Internally he tensed at her touch but if it showed on the outside she took no notice. In an instant, the hand turned into a fist and she playfully punched him. "Now it's time to get your butt kicked."

He gave her a faint smile, "why have you secretly been practising since our last bout?"

Kari gave a shrill laugh of derision, "I don't need to practice to beat you, Bro. Besides, I prefer to beat up human opponents and your mini doppelganger is probably still hurting from all of the turtle shells I put up his backside to even consider any challenge I might throw at his feet."

"Bring it, Sister," he said without even thinking.

As he picked up his control pad from the table a thought crossed his mind. Was this how Kari had felt a few weeks ago? Frightened to even be around him in case she let something slip, but finding herself helplessly drawn out of the hole in which she hid? For it was exactly how he felt sitting there on the sofa with her. He may have wanted nothing more than to run away and hide in his room, but like a moth to a flame, his sister managed to coax him out of his hole without doing anything other than just being herself. An involuntary smile crossed his lips. She was going down! And she did… before getting back up, dusting down Spinal's old bones and kicking Jago into the stone age in both rounds two and three. Frist bout to Kari.

They played for about an hour, virtually winning alternate matches for the duration. When he eventually got his nose in front overall, Kari sat down her pad.

"I think it's time I returned to my history assignment," she said and stood up from the couch. "Guess you beat me this time."

Tai sighed in disappointment. Not only had he been enjoying himself, but he dreaded what awaited him within the confines of his bedroom. What's more, he had a strong suspicion that she'd thrown that last round so that she could end the match with him the victor. However, he really needed to make an attempt at his own school work.

"I suppose I'd better get back to the books too," he replied, trying to mask his regret.

He placed his own pad on the table while Kari switched of the games console and TV. Standing up he went to head off towards his bedroom only for her to pull him into a hug. His chocolate eyes met her reddish-browns and his heart skipped a beat. They were so bright and beautiful that he just wanted to lose himself in them forever. While Teiko had helped to restrict any feelings he'd had about it being wrong to have fallen in love with his sister, there were still moments where he thought it so. However, gazing deep into those perfect eyes somehow made those particular thoughts melt away. No wonder TK had fallen for her so hard, how could anyone not?

Kari squeezed him tightly and whispered into his ear, "it's only a rough patch, Tai. It'll soon pass."

When she let him go and walked past him to go to her room, Tai could only hope that she had been right.

##

It had been slightly more difficult than Kari had anticipated to let her brother go after hugging him. Not only had she been captivated by his wonderful eyes and stirring aroma, but something had felt off about him. Like he was lacking his normal strength or, dare she even say it, wounded in some way. His school work must really be getting to him. Regardless, she had felt compelled to hold on to him, to protect him from whatever may be causing him harm, like he had done for her on so many occasions. Instead, she had left him with some soothing words that she hoped he found helpful. Perhaps she should have told him that if he needed to talk he could come and find her. After all, that's exactly what he had said to her a few weeks ago.

Opening the door to her bedroom, Kari stepped inside and let it close behind her. Walking over to her desk, she sat down and pulled on her headphones. Picking up her music player she pondered for a moment about what album to start with before electing to go with Amarok. She had listened to it a few times recently and it seemed her perseverance was starting to pay off. For like a flower in spring it had slowly started to open up to her. Closing her eyes, she sat back and listened to the opening segment before bothering to pick up her pen. When she eventually looked down at the paper she had been writing she sighed. It would not take too much longer to complete, however, she'd already taken up more of Tai's time than she probably should have. So dipping into that particular pool of fun again was out of the question. Kari pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Davis and Yolei to see if either of them were free that evening. If not, she would still have her music to listen to. And could always start converting some more of the clothes her mom had bought for her into something more suited to her style.

##

Tai sat alone within the confines of his bedroom walls. The skies outside were overcast and since he had not bothered to open the blinds that morning, very little light entered the room. Instead, he used the small desk lamp for light. Although at present the only thing it illuminated was the thick mass of chocolate hair that lay sprawled out over the desk surface. In a slow, repetitive motion he banged his forehead against the woodwork. It transpired that spending time with Kari, coupled with the hug she had given him had served only to accelerate her return to the forefront of his thoughts.

An image of his sister, slender and sleek slowly slipped into his mind. Though his eyes were closed, he could see clearly the fine strands of her lit match hair. How the bright orange faded into yellow and then into blonde at the tips. As she had become prone to do in real life, it had been messed up with some wax. Below her choppy bangs, he found those beautiful orbs of reddish-brown and stared deeply into them. Feelings of warmth and love radiated from them and set his soul ablaze. Lower still, passed her petite nose, he found her soft pale-pink lips that tempted him to touch them without her having to utter a single word…

Tears began to form in Tai's eyes as his right hand reached out and opened the top desk drawer. Reaching into the depths he moved the old stress ball out of the way and located the shard of glass with his fingers. Managing not to cut himself, he withdrew it and placed it on the desk surface. Sitting up straight, his eyes fell upon its blood speckled edge as it glistened in the lamplight, promising him pain and peace in exchange for another taste of his flesh.

"Just one little slice and Kari goes away," a voice in the back of his head encouraged.

"I c…c…can't," Tai whispered to himself, however, his left hand was already starting to unbutton his shirt sleeve.

"Of course you can. All you need to do is pick up the glass and let the blood flow. The rest will happen by itself."

"No," he said internally, somehow stopping his left hand in its tracks. "I made a mistake last time because I was desperate."

"You're still desperate," the voice hissed back. "Or have you failed to notice something important about the image of your little sister that your filthy mind conjured up?"

Tai froze as a thin film of cold sweat began to cover his forehead and the nape of his neck.

"Why don't you take another look…"

As if at the voices command, the image of Kari floated back into his mind. His eyes widened. So focused on her head he had failed to notice that he'd imagined her completely naked. He could not help but gaze upon the soft mounds of flesh that were her small perky breasts. How badly he wanted to touch them. To caress their smooth skin and fondle her nipples.

"Still think you aren't desperate?" the voice asked, only he did not need to answer. "Just imagine how bad it will be once your imagination really starts to run wild."

"I can handle it," he fired back inside his own head.

The voice laughed in an evil manner reminiscent of Myotismon, "and what about when your lust reaches a point that you can't control yourself? Will you be able to stop yourself from going through to Kari's room and taking what you want?"

"Stop it!" Tai cried out as the tears began to flow.

"I don't need to stop anything, it's you who needs to be stopped."

"I… I… I…"

"Just roll up your sleeve and take off the sweatband."

With a trembling hand, Tai did as the voice commanded.

"Now pick up the glass…"

His hand moved over to where the shard lay, still glistening a ruby red colour in the lamplight. It hovered in the air above it…

"…pick up the glass, Tai…"

His fingers froze in fear as his hand spasmed. "No…" he pleaded.

"PICK IT UP!"

The voice shattered what little resistance he had left and his fingers descended and closed around the shard.

"Good, now sink it into your wrist and slice… slowly."

Anguish washed over Tai as he pressed the pointed tip of the glass into his forearm. When the blood began to flow he dragged it painfully down until he had a fresh line parallel to the first. The joy that had filled him moments prior, when gazing upon the image of his sister's face, was quickly obliterated from memory as the pain set in. Kari, it seemed, would not be bothering him again today.