Part Two: His Secret

Epilogue Part Two: A saucerful of secrets

Tai watched his sister leave the room for a second time and sighed as he shook his head. He'd really gone and blown it this time. The funny thing was he couldn't even recall what had happened. He'd cut himself, obviously, but beyond that, he did not know. The last thing he could concretely remember was Kari hugging him on her way out and then the apartment door closing behind her. After that, he could only surmise that he'd gone to his room, stripped off his upper body clothing, fetched the glass shard from his desk, then sat down on the floor and at some later point cut himself. However, his lack of memory of the incident was not the problem. The real issue was, what on earth would he say when Kari started asking questions?

Lie upon lie, ranging from too much pressure at school to problems with the soccer team, crossed his mind but he knew she would see through them all. Even the one about how he felt their mom had stopped loving him after the incident when he was eight, would probably not suffice. That only left him with two options. Refuse to talk, which would probably result in her threatening to tell their parents, or tell her the truth. The magnitude of this decision weighed heavily on him, but he had little time in which to make it, for Kari would return soon. This entire scenario had come about because he had tried to protect her from the truth. Could he really tell her that he was in love with her? What other option did he have? Even if he refused and she told their parents everything, he would still have to deal with the pressure of keeping it a secret. And look how well that had worked out the first time around.

Outside in the hallway, he heard the sound of approaching footsteps. It seemed that thinking time was over. He would have to make a decision.

Kari walked back into the room and placed a tray containing two steaming cups of tea, a tall glass of water and a plate of cookies on his bedside cabinet. He watched as she crossed over to his desk and fetched his chair. Placing it beside his bed, she sat down and indicated the water, "drink the water and then the tea. You need to replace body fluids and blood sugar."

He did as she instructed and with a shaking hand, picked the glass up off the tray. Only when the cool liquid flowed past his lips did he realise that his mouth and throat were both exceptionally dry. Beside him, Kari patiently sipped her tea, her eyes fixed upon his bandaged right wrist. She seemed content to wait until he had finished the glass of water before commencing her interrogation. In that respect, Tai took his time. Maybe he would get lucky and she would spot some blood. After about five minutes of silence, the glass had emptied but the bandage remained unbloodied.

"So," Kari eventually said when he set the glass back down on the tray, "when did all of this start?"

Tai let out a sigh and picked up the cup of tea. "A week past Sunday," he answered truthfully, thankful that she had not immediately gone for the jugular.

"What happened?"

"I had trouble concentrating on my school work," he began, electing to omit the cause for now. "I got so frustrated that I threw a glass against the wall. It shattered and some of the shards ended up beneath my wardrobe." He paused to take a mouthful of tea. It tasted sweet almost to the point of being undrinkable, but then again, that was the point. "When I went to clean it up, one of the shards sliced my arm." He held out his left arm for her to inspect the fading scab. "I had no problem concentrating after dressing the wound."

Kari tilted her head, a ponderous look on her face. "The pain helped you concentrate?" she asked. "How?"

"Because I was constantly aware of it, I think it kept me in the here and now."

His sister picked up a cookie from the plate and held it out to him. "You should eat this," she said, before asking, "if it was an accident, how did you end up self-harming?"

Tai took the offered cookie and bit into it. After the sweetness of the tea, it almost tasted bitter. He chewed and swallowed before answering, "everything was fine until Tuesday when the pain from the accident subsided. I couldn't concentrate that night and come Wednesday I had a mountain of work I needed to get done, but could barely do a thing." He screwed up his eyes when he realised that he could not look at her. Warm tears began to run down his cheeks as a wave of shame and anguish crashed down upon him. "I found the shard of glass underneath the wardrobe and…" he cried as he gripped at the bedsheets. "…I did a stupid thing."

He felt a warm hand take hold of his own.

"It's ok, Tai," Kari soothed. "Everyone makes stupid mistakes. I know I certainly have. However, the important thing is that we get to the root of the problem and find a way to fix it. I'll be here for you every step of the way."

His eyes opened to the warmth and love that radiated from his sister's; even with the green and black eyeshadow. And he knew she meant every word. The only problem being that she was the problem. "I cut myself again last Sunday and once every night since," he paused when he thought about this evening. "I'm not sure what happened this evening."

"That's ok." He followed Kari's gaze to his right arm. It seemed that her bandage was holding out. "It doesn't matter now. You're safe and it's looking like you might avoid a trip to the emergency room." She then looked him directly in the eyes. "So why did you have such difficulty concentrating that you had to resort to inflicting pain upon yourself."

Though emoting caring and kindness, Tai found that he could not hold his sister's gaze, such was the intensity of her stare. Averting his eyes to look at his bandaged wrist he remained silent. How could he tell her the truth, knowing full well that it could ultimately destroy her happiness?

"Tai, talk to me," Kari said, her voice somehow soft but firm. "Whatever it is, I can help. You just have to trust me, like I trusted you."

The mention of the trust she'd placed in him felt like a bullet ripping through his heart. Kari had told him her deepest secret, even though she'd feared his reaction. Whereas on the flip side, he knew beforehand that she would not respond negatively and still could not do it. Some bearer of courage he was. "I… can't…" he cried as more tears poured forth.

"Tai, look at me," he heard her say. When he failed to move his head Kari said it again only more forceful, "Tai, look at me!"

As though compelled by her command, he slowly turned his head so that his tear-stained chocolate eyes met her warm reddish-browns.

"If you can't talk to me, who can you talk to?" his sister then said as she took hold of his other hand and gave both a light squeeze. "I should have trusted you two years ago but didn't. Please don't make the same mistake I did."

At that moment, the overpowering sense of love and warmth he felt from his sister eroded the last of his resistance. "It's you," he whispered. "You're the reason I've been unable to focus on anything."

A look of shock spread across Kari's face at this revelation. When she said nothing, Tai continued, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. No matter what I did, you occupied every space inside my mind. The pain was the only thing that drove you away and allowed me to concentrate."

It was his sister's turn to whisper, "but why? Why were you thinking about me? Is it because of what I told you?"

Tai squeezed her hands and looked deep into her eyes. It was now or never. "Yes," he said his voice close to breaking. "It took me time to realise and accept it but…" Here it came, the words he'd been so desperate to say, yet had done everything he could to avoid uttering, "…I'm in love with you, Kari."

##

Tai's words, spoken in a cracked and near broken whisper, hit Kari with the same force as a bullet train. Surely she had misheard… or her brother had misspoken. It wasn't possible that he had just said… what she thought he had. She searched his damp chocolate eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. No… it was inconceivable. He couldn't have… could he?

She opened and closed her mouth once… twice… and on the third time managed to ask, "did you just say that…" she paused as her trembling lips struggled to form the words, "…that you're in love with me?"

She had to be sure. Had to hear him confirm what he had said. Only then would she even contemplate that it was true.

The few seconds of silence between her asking the question and her brother's reply were so agonisingly painful that Kari almost burst into tears. Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, Tai nodded his head and said, "yes. I'm in love with you Kari."

Kari's reddish-brown eyes widened on receiving confirmation that she had not misheard. Yet still, she could not believe it. Only another glance into those big chocolate eyes told her that he had not lied. Tai was in love with her. She had no idea what to say, do or even think. This could not possibly be real, could it?

##

For a minute, time stood still as the siblings gazed into each other's tearful eyes. Neither one able to process the tidal waves of emotion that flooded them. Tentatively, both a little scared and nervous, they leaned forward. Hands still interlocked, their lips joined in the most delicate of kisses; that held more love than either of them had ever thought possible. What lay ahead, they did not know and nor did they care. For in this wondrous of moments all they had and all they needed was each other. And the only thing both Tai and Kari knew for certain was that they had each found their soulmate in the other.

##

Authors note:

Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed the two part epilogue to part two: his secret. In relation to it, I would like to say to ParasiticSquid, that even up to the point that I sat down to write it first time around, I was sorely tempted to go the tragedy route and kill Tai. However, I did not want to end the story so soon and so decided to keep it going down the 'Romeo and Juliet' path for now. Though I would like to make clear that the option of tragedy is still very much on the table.

In regards to part three, I do not know when it will be finished, however, please take no news to mean that I simply haven't found the time to work on it. If for whatever reason, I do not think I will be able to continue in the foreseeable future, I will let you all know that the story is on hiatus. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the epilogue to part two and if so that you will drop me a review. If any of you have any questions regarding the story or have a point you would like to raise, please feel free to do so. I have no objections to answering questions, explaining parts of the story or anything else of the like in another discussion section. Thanks once again and I hope to see you all one of these days.