Starting a new mini-series (as if I don't have enough already) which is basically the nonsense that goes on in the day to day life of Shadow and the Bad Batch. There shall be shenanigans, fluff, and occasionally light smut because I sometimes write that now lol.
It's be just short little things that shouldn't ever get above 1500 words. Those plot relevant stories will be in Adventures of an Idiot.
Enjoy!
I'm open to shenanigan suggestions!
post/635679993800884224/in-an-attempt-to-teach-myself-how-to-not-write
Content Warning: Strong language
Some missions went well. Others went bad.
Then there were those missions where absolutely, positively nothing went right.
Such was the case here where I found myself racing full speed through the woods of this Force forsaken jungle with a monster behind me and the shrunken Bad Batch in my arms as well as Nothing, the Night Hunter spawn that had for some reason imprinted on Crosshair back during my first adventure with them.
"You all should have listened to me!" Tech squeaked.
Dodging a collapsing tree that the monster behind me uprooted, I snapped, "Not now, nerd!"
"Run, Squeaky, run!" Wrecker cheered, pumping his fist in the air. "Run, Squeaky, run!"
"Shush!" Breaking out into the clearing, yelling in triumph when I spied the ship through the driving rain, I ran full speed to the ship and quickly punched in the code to open the door. "Hurry the fuck up!" I screeched, half blinded by my wet hair and the rain which pelted my face like angry hornets.
"That will not make it go any faster-"
An angry chorus of "Tech!" shut him up.
The moment the door cracked open enough for me to fit, I dove inside and slammed the button to close it. Rushing to the cockpit, I dumped the Bad Batch more or less carefully on the floor and slid into the pilot's seat only to freeze.
"Ice! What's the hold up!?" Hunter yelled from the floor, running over to my leg and trying to climb it.
Tech hopped up on Nothing's back and made it up to the control panel as Crosshair used his grappling hook to make it up on my shoulder. Wrecker followed Hunter's example.
"I don't know how to fly this thing!" I yelped, gesturing in panic to the various buttons.
"You better figure it out soon!" Crosshair yelled, perched on my shoulder. "Now's not the time to get cold feet, sweetheart!"
"Twiggs, I cannot take you seriously with that voi- AHHH!"
The large beast slammed into the windshield, mouth open and all its teeth bared.
Nothing screeched at me from the console, gesturing with its forelimbs to one of the brightly colored displays.
"I know that's the power button, but I can't steer this shit!"
"Better figure it out!" Hunter squeaked, trying to balance on my thigh.
Tech, sitting atop Nothing's back, yelled, "I'll guide you! You can do this!"
"You can do it, Squeaky!" Wrecker cheered, hauling himself up my leg. "Sarge! Little help!"
"You have no right to call me Squeaky at the moment, Wreck!" I shouted, plucking Crosshair off my shoulder and setting the sniper on the console. Hunter was scooped up next, and finally Wrecker. Looking frantically at the shrunken men, I adjusted the chair and tried to even my breaths. "Ok, ok. Just lead me."
"First, you need to be calm!" Tech instructed.
Another loud thud sounded on the glass. "Calm? If I were any more calm, I'd be dead! Which we are all about to be if I don't get this shit movin!"
"We need to work on your panic management under stress."
Another angry and collective "Tech!" made the engineer raise his hands in surrender.
My eyes darted around at the different controls. "Alrighty, let's try button number one!"
Since when did space ships have windshield wipers?!
"That's not it!" Tech yelled.
"I see that!" I snapped, gesturing towards the wipers going back and forth across the windows as the creature snapped its teeth at them. Pressing another button, my ears flattened at the cantina band music coming from the speaker. "Why!?"
Hitting the button did nothing to turn it off, and I resigned myself to experiencing this life or death situation with the cantina band as a soundtrack. Punching another button, I had to catch Crosshair as the vent sent him off the console. "No more random buttons!" I shouted as I dropped Crosshair back with the others.
Wrecker ran across the console to a large pale blue button with a lightning symbol scribbled on it with permanent marker. "Brace for it, Sarge!" he laughed before jumping onto it. "Jericho!"
"It's geronimo!" I corrected.
The viewport shone blue as the outside of the Marauder electrified and sent the creature flying off with a howl.
"Don't even wanna know why this thing has a zap function!" I yelled, trying to flip the correct buttons as Tech raced back and forth on Nothing's back to point out the ones I needed to press.
After I apparently slapped the controls in the right sequence, the engines hummed to life before growing to a roar.
"Doin' great, Squeak!" Wrecker cheered.
"Stop callin' me Squeak when you sound like a squeaky toy!"
A harsh, quite disturbing screech emitted from the sealed hatch as another beast tried to pry it open.
"Not to rush, but we need to go now!" Hunter yelled.
"Ya don't say!" I hissed, grasping the yoke and pulling back. The ship shuddered around us as it slowly raised off the ground.
Please be like Earth planes, please be like Earth planes.
I hadn't gone flying with my dad since I was seven, but maybe I could remember a little bit.
A loud, angry roar from outside as the ship rose out of the predator's reach told me that at least I was making some progress.
"You got it, sweetheart!"
"Don't celebrate soon, Twiggs!" I laughed nervously, following some more instructions from Tech.
Rising above the trees, I tried to focus on not hitting a cliff or large tree. Wrecker dancing on the console to the cantina band song was not a big help. I winced as the starboard wing of the Marauder clipped a rocky outcropping. "Hang on!"
Pulling back hard on the yoke, I angled the nose of the ship towards the clouds and hoped for the best.
A bolt of lightning arched across the viewport, briefly blinding me and leaving a white-hot streak burned into my retinas. Thunder shook the ship, or at least I hoped that was thunder and not the top fin of the ship being ripped away.
The ship didn't careen to the side or spiral into an impromptu barrel roll so I figured I was good at least for now.
Bursting into the stratosphere above the top of the clouds, I slumped in the seat. "Ugh..."
"This is why I suggested you should learn how to fly earlier!"
I sent a murderous glare in Tech's direction. "Don't provoke me while you're bite sized, nerd."
"You did well all things considered," Hunter remarked, patting my hand.
"Yeah! That was fun, Squeak!" Wrecker laughed, launching himself at my other hand and hugging it.
"We clearly have different definitions of fun, Scruffy," I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose with my free hand. "Tceh, tell me that big brain of yours knows how long you'll be stuck this size."
"According to the curse," he began. "We should be back to normal within three standard rotations."
I scowled, ears flattening. "Fuck." It was gonna be a long three days...