Part Three: Their Secret

Chapter Fifteen: Learning to fly

In comparison to the previous nine, these past six days had been far more manageable for Tai Kamiya. Having let off more steam than a hundred boiling kettles the previous Saturday, the pressure inside the nuclear reactor that was he and his sister's new relationship had dropped back below the warning level without blowing the top off. Now aware of the serious danger they faced, should it climb to high, the siblings had made a concentrated effort to avoid that eventuality. With some forward planning, they had met up after school on Wednesday and gone for a walk in the park for an hour before heading home. While they had kept everything parental friendly, or PF as they had dubbed it, just being alone together for that short space of time had been enough to ease the tension in between last Saturday's hormone explosion and today's planned first date. Although that did not mean that their time apart had been easy, it hadn't, just more manageable.

They'd talked about today all week over the net and in the end, decided that the best way to keep it a secret was not to. Since they were only going to see a movie, it made little sense to hide it from their parents. For it was something they had done before when they were younger. All it had taken was a quick explanation that their respective friends were busy this weekend and that neither of them currently had a partner for their mom to tell them to have fun. Tai had also had a soccer game that afternoon so they had left the apartment together and headed for the Odaiba High School playing fields. Kari had wished him luck as he'd gone off to the changing rooms and she the stands. It had worked a treat, for he had scored two goals as his team won 5-2. Afterwards, his teammates had been bummed out that he was not going with them for a celebratory pizza, but he'd expected that.

Now freshly showered and dressed in clean jeans and a blue shirt, Tai walked beside his sister as they made their way towards the train station. They had decided to go to a cinema in Minato city instead of the local one in Odaiba, just to give them a little more privacy. In hindsight, it had been a good idea for he already felt slightly nervous. His eyes darted from face to face, scanning the late afternoon crowd for any sign of someone they knew. It's just a movie, he kept telling himself. All I am doing is going to see a movie with my… Oh God, I'm actually taking my sister out on a date. Maybe this had been a mistake… Yes. They could go home now and…

"Tai," Kari said softly from beside him, "relax." Her soothing voice cut through his rising panic with ease and the moment he felt her slender hand touch his own, it began to dissipate. "Your back's straighter than a steel girder.

"Sorry," he said as he let out a long, slow breath. "I think my mind fell victim to any doubts I've had about this."

"About whether it's right or sensible? What if we're seen by someone we know?" He nodded and she gave him a smile. "You're not alone, I've had them too. I was a nervous wreck for about ten minutes when sitting in the stands earlier."

He gave his sister a sideways glance. "You look the epitome of calm now, how did you deal with it?"

She laughed. "You scored your second goal and the entire stand erupted. By the time I'd settled down, I'd completely forgotten about my nerves."

"You've got to admit, it was a pretty epic strike," he replied with a chuckle.

"Shall I go home and let you and your ego have some alone time?" she asked and gave him a playful punch in the arm.

"I don't recall my ego ever making me feel this nervous," he conceded.

Kari shot him a look of mock offence. "Then why don't you let it recreate the moment of your epic strike and you can go live there for the next half-hour."

He thought about her suggestion for a moment. "You know, that might just work." Tai felt a second blow to his arm, only this one contained a noticeable increase in force. "Oww, what was that for?"

"We haven't even got on the train yet and already you're ditching me and for your own ego no less!" While Kari kept her tone playful, there was a slight undertone that when combined with the second punch, told him that she was not messing around. She may have been in love with him, but the intent was clear. There would be no family discount when it came to meeting her high standards for a date or indeed a relationship in general. Either he would make the grade or it would go no further.

"Sorry, Kari," he said apologetically. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he looked down at her hand. He could do this, he told himself. After all, courage was his strongest trait. Tentatively he reached out and took her slender hand in his own. He let out a small breath and felt a soothing calm flow from his sister and wash over him. "I promise I won't retreat inside my own head and leave you dragging a zombie around for the rest of the day."

She gave him a soft smile, "it's ok for you to be nervous. And I don't mind if we take things slowly, so long as you talk to me. Now, tell me all about that epic goal."

Tai gave her a grin and launched into a full-blown explanation as they walked the remainder of the way to the train station. It transpired that Kari had been right, allowing his ego to recreate the moment did help to settle him. When they reached the station, he bought them tickets and they headed for the platform; still holding hands. Their timing had been good so they only had a short five-minute wait for the train to arrive. They found seats together and enjoyed the beautiful view of the harbour and Tokyo bay as they crossed the rainbow bridge. By the time they disembarked at Shiodome station, he felt much more at ease. The chances of bumping into anyone they knew here would be far lower than if they had remained in Odaiba.

Hand in hand, the siblings walked through the busy crowds of complete strangers and Tai found himself focusing on them far less. So much so that by the time they reached the cinema complex, Kari had his undivided attention. They tossed a coin to see who got to pick the film, which he lost. However, his sister 'used the force' to determine what film he wanted to see and so picked that; a last-chance showing of Star Wars Episode III. Once they had bought tickets and were heading to the snack counter, he gave her a sideways look.

"You knew that I'd missed this film back in the summer and that it was going to be shown here tonight, didn't you," he said when they joined onto the end of the queue.

Kari looked up at him with a grin, "are you insinuating that I purposefully chose this venue and this night for our date, just so I could make you happy? That would just be fiendishly devious of me."

"Something that I would not put past you," he said with a laugh, just as his stomach let out a ravenous growl. A reminder that he had not eaten since before his soccer match.

"Awww, you're hungry," his sister said in what sounded like genuine concern.

"Well, I haven't eat…"

"Not you," Kari cut him off as she cupped a hand to her ear and directed it towards his stomach, just as it rumbled again. "What do you mean he hasn't fed you since before that soccer match?" His sister looked up at him and said in mock outrage, "Tai, how could you be so careless as to not feed your stomach something after that gruelling game?"

He couldn't help but laugh at her antics. "Because you dragged me away before I could go and have my share of the team's celebratory pizza."

"Then I guess I'll just have to buy it a large hotdog until such a time as we can take it somewhere to get it a proper meal."

His stomach let out a low purring sort of noise, apparently, it understood her. They reached the front of the queue and true to her word, Kari bought him a large hotdog, a soda each and a large bucket of salted popcorn for them to share. Thank god for Americanisation he thought as he ripped the top off of the hotdog in one large bite. While it did not compare in size to the bratwurst he had shared on his date with Teiko, it would tide him over until after the film. Taking a drink from his soda, he followed his sister through the mingling crowd and into the sparsely populated theatre; no surprise given that most people would have seen the film during its normal release window. They picked seats at the back and settled down to watch the trailers.

When he had finished his hotdog, he felt Kari tap him on the arm. Turning to look at her, she gave him a smile and threw a small handful of popcorn at him; managing to get a piece into his mouth. He chewed down on it and laughed silently. Everything between them just felt so relaxed now, natural even. Unlike any of his previous dates. During any of those, he'd always felt slightly uneasy, as though his girlfriends expected him to act in a certain way or were waiting for him to do something he was unaware he was supposed to. And he'd certainly never had one of them playfully toss popcorn at him. It was like Kari got him in a way that none of the others, with the exception of Teiko, had. Maybe it had something to do with her having sixteen years' worth of Tai Kamiya experience, or perhaps they were just a perfect fit for one another. Did it really matter? For it was her sat beside him, not any of the others. And around his sister, he just had to be himself.

##

The house lights came on as the end credits began to roll and Kari found that her eyes had already wandered from the screen to stare at her brother. Ever since they had got off the train, the whole evening had just felt so right. Unlike any of her dates with TK or Davis, there had been no voice in the back of her head telling her that it was a sham. That she was simply leading the respective boy along in order to try and quell her own feelings. No, her mind had been quiet, at peace. This date with her brother had been free from the taint that had smeared all the others. It had been pure. Just him and her.

She watched as he turned his head to face her. "Ready to go?" he asked with a smile.

"That depends on where you're taking me," she replied. "I don't think I'm ready to go home yet." She giggled when his stomach growled, "I don't think your stomach is quite ready to go home either."

"I think it might consume both of us if we even try. How about we go get some noodles?"

"Sounds good," Kari said and rose from her chair. "However, before we do, promise me one thing."

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

"Promise that you'll never betray yourself and turn to the dark side, just to try and save me."

He laughed, "did the film actually get to you?"

"A little," she conceded. "I've found you tend not to view these things in quite the same way after you've been involved in a real fight between good and evil. And no matter what we do, we'll always be two of the chosen DigiDestined. While I try not to think about it, the prospect that we might someday have to fight another battle is very real."

Tai sighed, "I know what you mean. I'd love to see Agumon again, but I know that if I do, it will probably mean we have to face off against some other evil."

"Hence why I want you to promise me that no matter what, you'll never betray who you are to try and save me," Kari reiterated, giving him a look that conveyed that she was serious. "I'd rather die, than live knowing that you were no longer the person I'd fallen in love with."

Tai looked into her eyes and she could see that he was sincere when he said, "I promise. However, you have to do the same. Because I couldn't bear it if you ever lost yourself."

"I promise," she said and held out a hand to him, "shall we?"

Tai took the offered hand and got to his feet. "Lets."

They sidled out of the row and walked together down the stairs. Leaving the now empty theatre, they crossed the foyer and received a, "have a nice night," from one of the attendants on their way out of the front doors. Outside, the sun had shifted towards the horizon and a cool breeze swept through the busy street. Allowing Tai to lead her by the hand, Kari followed him through the crowd. Where it transpired that he himself was taking directions from his stomach, which had apparently taken note of a good smelling noodle bar en-route from the station. Sure enough, after travelling only a few blocks back the way they had come, her brother pointed at a building up ahead with a bright green and red neon sign.

"See, I told you my stomach knew where it was going," he said as he guided her along the street.

Kari laughed, "if it's hungry enough, I'd trust your stomach over GPS any day."

He joined in as they made their way inside the shop. A single whiff of the aroma pouring forth was enough to convince her that the food would be good.

A young waitress came forward and addressed Tai, "table for two, Sir?"

He nodded, "yes, please."

The woman picked up two menus from a neat stack and led them over to a quiet booth in the back. Ushering them to sit, she handed one to her brother and then turned to look at her. "I love your hair," she said with a huge smile and held the menu out. "You look really pretty."

"Thanks," Kari replied, taking it from her outstretched hand.

"I bet your boyfriend is so lucky to have you."

The comment caught her off guard and she could feel her cheeks begin to burn. A glance across the table told her that Tai too had been unprepared for it, his face having gone similarly red. Knowing she had to say something, Kari quickly blurted out, "I think I'm the lucky one."

The waitress surveyed her brother and tilted her head. "You are quite cute and you certainly look like you work out a lot. I bet that bod of yours is smoking hot."

Kari had to stifle a laugh as she watched his cheeks turn from light red to scarlet. It looked like he could add this girl to the long list of woman who'd made him uncomfortable.

"I suppose the two of you balance each other out. And you certainly make for a cute couple." She then winked at them and said, "I'll give you some alone time then come back and take your order," before wandering away.

There was an awkward silence for a moment as Kari looked at her brother, both of their cheeks positively glowing like the red in the shop's sign. Their eyes met and she could feel the corners of her lips begin to tremble. Next second they both started laughing hysterically, drawing strange looks from the occupants of the nearest tables.

"Oh my god, I was so unprepared for that!" Kari exclaimed when she could eventually form words.

"It was like talking to Teiko, she was so forward," Tai replied with a grin.

"I've thought so much about a first date between us and about how other people would react

+ However, I guess my brain just assumed that every stranger would automatically know our secret and would treat us like we're degenerates," she said, saying exactly what was on her mind.

Tai nodded in agreement. "I know what you mean. Back in Odaiba, I was so uptight about people looking at us for the exact same reason. But the truth of the matter is, we look just like any other couple."

While the closest individuals were at least a table away, they both kept their voices low while discussing the subject. "I guess it'll take some time getting used to the idea that away from people that know us, we are just any other couple."

"I suppose I never really thought about it, but there isn't actually anything that gives it away," Tai said and gave her a smile. "I mean we don't really look alike. My eyes are chocolate coloured, whereas yours have this beautiful red tinge to them. And even when your hair doesn't look like a lit match, it's still a shade lighter than mine."

"I look like mom, you look like dad. The gene pool at least dished us a decent hand in that department," Kari said by way of a final remark on the subject. "Now let's get some noodles and enjoy ourselves."

"Before my stomach decides to rebel," her brother added.

They only had time for a quick peruse of the menu before the bubbly waitress returned to take their order. She ordered a regular bowl of vegetable ramen while Tai opted for a large bowl of katsu chicken ramen with satay sauce and a side order of duck filled gyoza dumplings, which were apparently to share; yeah right. When the food arrived they sat and talked about random… stuff. Just common, everyday conversation that they or any other couple would normally share. They'd laughed, joked and enjoyed being in each other's company without any fear of what the people around them might be thinking. For Kari, it had been the fulfilment of a two-year dream and not even when her imagination had run wild, had she been able to truly capture the feelings of joy, love and freedom that she currently felt.

When her brother had finally managed to swallow the last dumpling, after both a second and third wind, they had paid for their meal and left the noodle shop. Holding hands once more, the siblings walked quietly through the steadily thinning crowds towards the train station. More by luck than planning this time, they found that it would only be ten minutes until the next train to Odaiba. When it arrived (bang on time of course) they boarded and sat down facing the window.

By the time they reached the rainbow bridge, Kari had slumped sideways to rest her head against her brother's shoulder. If she had been capable of thinking about their apprehensions from earlier in the day, both Tai's response of wrapping his arm around her and the fact she had even done it in the first place, would have come as a huge surprise. However, at the moment, they were not siblings, they were boyfriend and girlfriend and nothing felt more natural. In the comfort of her brother's embrace, Kari closed her eyes and acknowledged nothing other than the feel of his touch and the smell of his scent; fresh grass and honey with hints of lavender from their mom's fabric softener.

"Wake up sleepy head, it's our stop next," she heard Tai say with a light chuckle.

"I'm not asleep, just enjoying the moment," she replied, but nevertheless opened her eyes and sat up; albeit grudgingly. Why could she not exist within his embrace forever?

The train came to a stop and they disembarked. However, before they left the platform, Tai took her aside from the crowd. With a finger, he tilted her chin up so that she stared into his beautiful chocolate yes. Without saying a word, he moved his lips towards her own and gave her a delicate kiss.

"Tai what if…"

"…Shhh," he said softly and kissed her again.

Kari closed her eyes and savoured each and every aspect of it. From the tender nature of his movements, to the subtle mix of salty and sweet on his lips from the satay sauce he'd eaten. When she was with Tai she felt like a bird soaring high above the clouds.

"I had a really good time tonight," he then said when eventually they broke apart. "And I wanted to do this now, in case I lose my nerve by the time we get home."

"It's been magical," Kari replied, unsure how else to sum up the evening. She then felt a sheet of regret soak into her metaphorical feathers like icy rain, causing her to utter, "I just wish we didn't have to return to sibling mode."

"I know," he said taking her hands in his, "but if we want to have these moments as a couple, we need to act like brother and sister when at home or around people we know."

She nodded glumly. Only in that moment did the realisation truly kick in that, no matter how high they soared while alone, they would always have to return to the ground. For no birds could perpetually remain airborne. A sudden torrent of sadness and despondency, the first she had properly felt since she learned of his secret, overcame Kari. The last six days, while slightly easier than the previous nine, had still been agonising for her. To have Tai so close for such long periods but not be able to touch him had been torturous. Her happy state soon became caught in this tidal wave of negativity and was soon smashed to pieces against the rocks of worry and doubt. Against her will, tears began to stream down Kari's cheeks and she buried her head into her brother's chest. "It's not fair!" she wailed, letting out all her feelings of frustration and anger at their unfortunate lot in life.

She felt Tai wrap his strong arms around her and a sense of being safe and secure started to fight against the torrent of negativity. "I know it's not fair," he soothed, gently rubbing her back, "but there is nothing we can do about it at present. We have to keep it a secret."

How long it took for her to calm down, Kari did not know. When eventually her tears stopped and she could bear to be out with the safety of her brother's embrace, she felt pathetic… pathetic and weak. It had only been one date, yet here she was pouring her heart out and bemoaning that they would soon have to return to 'normal'. She had been so sure that this was what she wanted and that she was prepared to endure the hardships. However, now, for the first time since they had started having this relationship, she genuinely wondered if the whole thing had been a mistake. Despite all the highs that she might experience while soaring through the clouds, did they outweigh the cold, hard, long lows that awaited her back on the ground? Lows that would only worsen with time. For the higher she flew, the further she would fall. All of a sudden she found herself unable to answer that question.

Once she eventually had her breathing under control, Kari mumbled, in a quiet deflated tone, "I want to go home." Her gaze rooted upon her miss-matched converse, as she could not bear to look her brother in the eyes.

"Ok," Tai replied as he put an arm around her.

The moment he touched her, Kari felt herself tense and a sense of panic begin to rise from deep within and she found that she could not cope. With an almost violent jerk, like that of a rabbit caught in a snare, she tried to shrug him off. In desperation, she cried, "please, Tai, don't touch me just now."

Kari felt her brother retract his arm and take a step away from her. A mixture of hurt and confusion laced his voice when he again answered, "ok."

Lacking the mental capacity to properly assess and process the situation, her primal fight or flight instincts kicked in and she ran. Darting through the crowd, she did not even stop to see if Tai had followed. Emotions feeling rawer than they ever had, all Kari knew was that she needed to get back within the walls of her sanctuary. To return to the safety of her room where she could calm down and try and sort through the plane wreck that was her mind. Perhaps it had been naïve of her not to realise that, when you learned to fly, sooner or later there would be a bumpy landing. However, the question that she would soon have to answer was, would she be willing and able to get back up and take flight once more, or, for her own sanity, would she remain permanently grounded.