Author Note:
Hey guys. So I intended to take a break from this story after part three, however, after a couple of weeks, I couldn't help but start writing it again. At the time of writing, the traffic on this story has been fantastic, with almost 10,000 hits and nearly 2000 visitors. My thanks go out to the 40 people we have followed/favourited this story so far. And especially to the small clutch of you who have either left a review or set me a pm.
Before we get into part four, I would just like to allay any fears about the direction of the story from this point on. Despite the ending of the epilogue to part three, the story will continue to focus on the Kamiya siblings and their relationship. While we may at times get a chapter from different characters pov, the main focus will remain on Tai and Kari.
So without further delay, here is Part Four: A Secret Discovered. If you enjoy this story, please do follow/favourite it, or leave me a review or a PM.
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Part Four: A Secret Discovered
Chapter One: Marooned
It was mid-December and the first snowfall of the season had occurred two days ago but had been nothing more than a light flutter that had not lain. However, the air temperature had been dropping steadily for weeks. To the point that the default was now somewhere between chilly and very cold. Kari Kamiya felt an icy wind sting her cheeks as she rounded a corner and cycled towards her apartment building. Despite the fact her skin felt freezing, she had no desire to reach home. Granted, she'd had little desire to be anywhere these past four weeks, except the one place she could not. Four weeks… had it only been that long? To her it felt more like four lifetimes. Four lifetimes since she had last smiled or laughed. Four lifetimes since she had felt anything the remotely resembled a positive emotion… Four lifetimes since she had last been within Tai's embrace.
Ever since that fateful night down at the water's edge, she had felt nothing but sorrow, pain and misery. And had barely said two words to her brother. Just seeing him on a daily basis served as too much of a painful reminder of what she had lost. Did he feel the same way? She hoped not. She could not bear the idea of Tai feeling a shred of what she currently did. Not to mention that if he did, she would be entirely to blame. If not for that singular lapse of reason all those months ago, when she had first kissed him, then he would have remained ignorant of his own feelings. In the end, unrequited love on her part would have been better than two shattered hearts.
"Oh, Tai," Kari whispered in anguish, her eyes starting to water. There had not been a day since their breakup that she had not shed at least one tear.
HONK! Kari's feet slipped off the pedals and eyes shot to her left. Frozen in place, she could do nothing but watch as the truck struggled to come to a stop. The grill on the front came to within mere inches of her face when eventually it did.
"What the hell are you doing, Kid?" the irate driver yelled at her from the cab, not bothering to get out to see if she was ok.
"I'm sorry," Kari cried as she burst into tears.
"Well, get out of the way, you're holding up the traffic!"
Hesitantly, limbs shaking from the shock of having almost been run over, she climbed off of her bike and slowly pushed it onto the nearest sidewalk. Not trusting herself to cycle the short distance that remained between here and home. One thing was for certain. If the driver of the truck had not noticed her in time, she would probably have been killed. It came as a slight surprise how little that realisation seemed to bother her. Perhaps death would be preferable. For she could imagine no hell worse than what she was currently living. Even rewinding the clock to before Tai had discovered her secret would not be this bad.
Dejected and downtrodden, Kari wheeled her bike into the undercroft and locked it away. Removing a tissue from her bag, she dried her eyes before heading up the stairs. Crossing the short distance to her apartment, she opened the door and closed it as quietly as she could. Changing her shoes, she stepped lightly into the main living area. Not wishing to alert her mother to her presence until she could safely make it to her bedroom without the woman seeing her undoubtedly blotchy face. She passed the kitchen but saw no sign of her.
"I home, Mom," she called out when she reached her bedroom door.
"Hi, Honey, how was your day?" her mother asked from what sounded like the bathroom.
Agonisingly, Kari wanted to reply with the truth. To tell her mom… anyone about the hell she was living. Only she couldn't. No one could ever find out about her relationship with Tai. So she was left with little choice but to say, "tiring and cold. I've got a lot of homework that I need to make a start on and don't feel very hungry, do you mind if I have dinner later on?"
"Are you feeling ok?" her mother asked suspiciously.
"I'm fine, Mom. It wasn't that cold."
"Ok then. I'll leave it on the stove for you to heat up when you're ready."
"Thanks, Mom," she replied and quickly ducked inside her room.
It was a lie. All of it. She neither had a lot of homework nor was fine. However, she had plenty of experience of acting fake happy or finding ways to circumvent people. Sighing deeply, Kari crossed over to her desk and sat her school bag down on the floor beside it. From inside she fished out her headphones and music player and placed them on the neat wooden surface. Turning, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirrored panel of the wardrobe door. Since she had first noticed her brown roots four weeks ago, her hair had grown by almost an inch. Leaving her with an unsightly brown patch amidst the bright orange on the top of her head. Her gaze fell away as she let out a moan. Last Friday, she had stood in the bathroom with the brown hair dye her mother had bought and almost reverted her hair to normal. Because every time she caught sight of herself in a mirror, she was reminded of that fateful day when she had kissed Tai. Of her brother's kindness and of his love. Yes, her own hair had become a monument to all she'd had… and lost. She'd wrestled with herself for over fifteen minutes, only to throw the bottle against the door in disgust. She hadn't been able to do it. While her wardrobe choices and personality had virtually reverted back to the Kari of old, she could not bring herself to undo one of the most wonderful things Tai had ever done for her. So her hair remained like a lit match. But so too did the pain she felt every time she saw her own reflection.
Kari sat down in her chair and pulled her maths notebook and textbook from her schoolbag; the only work she actually had to do. Withdrawing her pencil tin, she opened it up only to remember that she'd thrown the one she had been using away earlier in the day; it had become too small to use. Tossing the tin aside, she opened the top desk drawer to get another. Only for her gaze to fall upon her sketchbook. Wistfully she picked it up and began flicking through. This too felt like it had belonged to a previous life. Had she really dressed like this only a matter of weeks ago? She reached the last design, the red vs blue one that Tai had given her one of his favourite shirts for. It existed only on the page.
Standing up, she crossed over to the wardrobe and withdrew the black shirt. Burying her face in it, she took a deep breath in through her nose. It still smelled strongly of fresh grass, honey and lavender… of Tai. Kari slipped it on over the top of her school uniform. She'd worn it several times when in desperate need of her brother's touch. Returning to the desk, she closed the sketchbook over and returned it to the drawer. In her present state of mind, she could not even envisage a time when she would have the confidence to dress in any of those outfits again. She almost broke down into tears there and then. Was this how TK had felt when she'd broken his heart? Like his entire life had fallen apart around him and that he had no will to try and stop it. In the end, maybe she deserved this. Her karma for having strung him along for a year before wrenching his heart out.
Her math homework forgotten, Kari picked up her headphones and slipped them on. Like her hair, the music she listened to was one of the few things that had not reverted, having been part of old Kari for almost a year before the emergence of her Digital Punk self. Flicking through the albums on her music player, she found the latest addition to her collection; Pink Floyd's The Wall. The weekend after her breakup with Tai, she had needed to get out of the apartment that badly, she had gone into town alone. Inevitably, she had found herself in Iowa's shop and bought a copy. She had played it almost daily since. Finding the plight of the protagonist and his building of a mental wall to try and spare himself from his emotional pain, eerily relatable.
Moving from the desk, Kari sat down on the floor with her back against her bedframe and huddled her knees to her chest. This had become a common position for her to sit in over the past few weeks. Especially on a bad day such as today. She missed Tai more than she would ever have thought possible. The quiet opening notes of the first track began and she quickly shoved the volume up to maximum, just in time for the heavy drums and guitars to obliterate the calm. Kari felt all thoughts temporarily blown out of her mind by the wall of sound that crashed over her. She loved the sheer energy of this track. However, it soon came to an end as the album settled down into a slightly less harsh rhythm.
Kari's thoughts slowly began to seep back into her brain and she could feel her pain return. Her momentary reprieve now over. She wanted to talk to Tai so badly. To tell him that she had made a mistake. That having had him and then given him up was worse than she could ever have imagined. Except she couldn't. Her brother only had one month until he sat his university admission test and had to remain focused. The last thing he needed was her to start gushing over him and throw his mind into doubt.
The music continued to play and Kari sunk deeper inside her own mind. This was her burden… her punishment. And she would have to bear it alone.