Chapter 26

I made my way to the hospital. It was rather large for the size of Forks, but it was also the medical facility that served Christo Rey. I gave the air a tentative whiff as I approached. I smelled werewolves about, but only two: Jacob and, to my surprise, Peter. I wasn't sure how I felt about being able to identify which werewolf was which by scent alone.

I found them in the waiting room on the second floor of the hospital. They stood toward the far end of the room, near a pair of vending machines, and were speaking in low tones. I could hear them easily as I checked in at the visitor's desk.

"You did all of this for one mortal?" Peter asked, his tone equally troubled and impressed.

"He's the most important one," Jacob answered.

Peter nodded once. "He's your friend."

Jacob hesitated, and I chanced a glance at him to see his face. His expression looked pained, as if he were warring with himself over his next words. Before he could speak, he saw me. "She's here," he said, his voice turning gravely.

Peter looked at me and nodded to me. "We'll continue this later," he said, and the two of them approached me.

"Bella," Peter greeted, folding his massive arms across his wide chest. "I have need to apologize to you for breaking our agreement."

I smiled tightly. "There's no need," I said. "The problem is solved. Edward is okay." I looked to Jacob. "You're perfectly fine." That earned me a glare from him.

Peter shook his head. "Even still, I lost control of these young ones," he said, nudging Jacob's shoulder with his elbow.

"And if you hadn't, I don't know what would have happened last night," I said. "So it's quite fine."

Peter sighed. "I wish you hadn't said that in front of him," he said, jerking his head toward Jacob. "His ego's out of control as it is." He smiled then, and he unfolded his arms to extend a hand to me. I shook his hand, his flesh hot against my cold skin. Neither of us enjoyed the gesture, but it was nonetheless appreciated on both sides.

Peter left directly after this, leaving me alone with Jacob. "Will you take me to Edward's room?" I asked.

"Just sniff him out for yourself," he said coldly, turning away from me.

And so I did. The hospital was a very foreign place for me. I had never before set foot in one, at least not before the dawn of modern medicine. There was a peculiar smell to it, an odd mix of chemicals and something else, something almost putrid that turned my stomach. But as I passed through the double doors which separated the waiting room from the hallway of hospital rooms, Edward's sweet scent came to my nose. I followed it to a small room, the door closed over, and within lay Edward.

He was awake, his eyes on the ceiling of the room. A small, cheap stereo had been set up on the little end table beside the bed, and that same morose piano music he usually enjoyed played gently from its low-fidelity speakers. His hands were folded over the gentle curve of his belly, his arms wrapped in gauze. I rapped my knuckles lightly on the wood of the door, getting Edward's attention as I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

He smiled when he saw me, color coming to his pale face. He sat up as I approached him, wincing with pain which immediately attempted to hide. We said nothing at first, but he held out his hand, and I grasped it as I settled down in the single chair beside his bed. His skin was just as warm as ever; the blood in his fingers pulsed against my skin, and I could hear its rushing through his veins. Before either of us could form a word, I leaned forward and kissed him gently, reveling in the final taste of his mouth.

His grip on my hand was strong, and I saw vitality in his eyes when I pulled away. Alice had assured me Edward would heal, would ultimately end up with remarkably little scarring, and I saw this in him in that moment. For a long time we simply stared at each other. I wondered what he was thinking, what he was seeing through his mortal eyes which were now opened to a new and terrifying world.

"You've got your contacts in," he said, finally breaking the silence.

"I can't leave home without them," I said.

"It's not your real eye color," he said, and I caught his implication.

"It used to be," I told him. "I think I'd prefer you to remember me this way."

His brow furrowed, and he leaned forward. "What do you mean by that?"

I hadn't quite yet intended to tell him I was leaving, but I didn't trouble myself over the slip. Better to get it over with. "I'm moving on."

"Where?" His response was quick. His heartbeat had doubled.

I pursed my lips. Edward's family had the wealth and resources to follow me anywhere, so I didn't answer this question.

"You can't leave," he said, gripping my hand with both of his now. "After all that's happened."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

We again fell into a silence which was filled only with melodic piano.

"Do you remember anything?" I asked at length.

"Not enough to make sense of," he answered. He reached out and cupped my cheek. "I remember you." I tried to smile, but I couldn't. My heart recoiled at the thought of leaving him. I didn't care one bit about the Cullens or even Ana in that moment. I wanted only to take Edward and flee to some unknown place on the planet. He would be safe with me. In time, I could turn him—when he wanted it, when he chose—and Victoria would be no threat to us.

But that was not a life. Edward had a future, and it was not going to unfold as it should with me.

"When are you leaving?" he asked, his voice low, almost monotone.

"Tonight," I answered.

He scoffed. "Not wasting any time, are you?" I kissed his hand. "What if I proposed to you?"

I was startled into laughter. "Is that a serious question?"

He smiled that crooked smile, and I burned the image into my mind. "It only is if you accept."

"That's not a question for someone like me," I said.

We fell into silence again. My mind raced with my wishes and desires, tormenting me with the reality that none of them could ever be true.

Edward broke the silence again, and his question took me off guard. "What are you thinking about?" I gazed back at him, unsure of how to answer. He chuckled humorlessly. "I'm usually pretty good at reading people. Sometimes it's almost like I can read their minds. But I've never been able to get a read on you. Must be a vampire thing."

"That's probably for the best," I said. I leaned in close to him and whispered, "All I can think about is my desire for you." I nipped his earlobe. He shivered at this, his skin prickling, his heartrate increasing. I heard his blood flow ever faster, and I could smell the beginnings of arousal. His face flushed, and he averted his eyes.

I heard footsteps approach the room, and I pulled away from Edward as a short, brawny female nurse poked her head in to check on him. I smiled and greeted the nurse with a nod, and when she left a few moments later, Edward had regained his composure.

"Is Peter's gang making you leave?" Edward asked, a tone of apprehension in his voice. It occurred to me how much his loyalties were divided with my presence. His closest friend hated my kind. There was no way Jacob could continue his friendship with me around. I was glad I wasn't going to make Edward choose between his friend and me.

"Not at all," I said. "It's just time to move on."

He ground his jaw as he formed his next words. "And I can't come with you." There was a note of resignation in his tone which gave me hope that he would accept it with little trouble.

"It's too dangerous for a human to live with vampires."

Silence again. The stereo had gone quiet in the last couple of minutes as the CD within had come to its end. The florescent lights overhead buzzed, and a light cacophony of voices from the hallway and the surrounding rooms came to my ears.

All of this disappeared from my notice when Edward spoke again. "I had asked you if you would ever give me a choice." As he spoke, his hand had absently risen to his shoulder where Victoria had bit him. "You said you didn't know."

"I know now," I said. He gazed back at me with a gentle hopefulness. It was dashed as I stood up from the chair. "Edward, I want you live. I want you to graduate high school, go to college, set the world on ablaze. Whether you do that by art trading, or piano playing, or some other talent of yours that I never got the chance to discover—I want you to live. Let me be a memory to you."

He grabbed me by my forearms as if he were holding on to a lifeline. "Bella, please don't go."

I tore my arms out of his grasp. I don't know who was wounded by that more. The hurt in his eyes was much too much for me to bear, and I retreated to the door. I gazed at Edward one last time. He pleaded with his eyes, but said nothing more.

I wished I could cry. I had no outlet for the penetrating sadness which washed over me as I walked back down the hallway. It felt like I had just pierced my own chest with a spear and left a gaping hole in its wake.

Jacob was still in the waiting room, seated uncomfortably on one of the plastic benches. I should have just left, but something about Jacob's expression—troubled, anxious—made me pause. He caught me watching him, and that same hatred entered his eyes as he glared at me. A werewolf naturally despised a vampire, but I realized there was something more to it with Jacob.

Jacob had told Peter that Edward was the most important mortal to him. He was the most important mortal to me as well. It came to me, as I fought back against the ocean of sadness which threatened to overpower me, that Jacob and I shared something in common. That knowledge steeled me as I joined Jacob on the plastic bench.

"You said I don't know how to love Edward," I said in a whisper. "That's probably true. But you do, don't you?"

A mortal's heart beat was a steady rhythm, quiet yet pronounced. Jacob's heart beat was like a war drum. I wondered distantly if the other mortals in the waiting room could hear it as it raced at my question.

"He's my best friend," he said defensively.

"You defied your leader to protect him," I said, gazing down at my own hands. "You recruited some of your pack, brought them to Forks, and prepared them to face against a clan of vampires, all to keep him safe."

Jacob ground his jaw. "I couldn't lose him."

"I know," I breathed. "If I were you, I would have done the exact same thing."

Jacob was silent. I stood up again.

"You know how to love him, so love him well," I said. Jacob looked at me, and for the first time since I met him, I saw something other than hatred there: that spark of mutual understanding which, if we were two different people, if circumstances were different, might bloom into friendship.

I turned away and left the hospital. What had been, and what could have been, were now done and had to be put away. My time in Forks had come to an end. The place where my heart reawakened would always lay claim to it. If I could, I would bury my heart in its frozen soil, close to the most important mortal. Instead I would have to carry it with me, hurting forever for Edward Masen.