Part Four: A Secret Discovered
Chapter Eleven: Only time will tell
It was Saturday evening and the air temperature had risen slightly from yesterday's bitter cold conditions. The sky, though steadily darkening, was a clear navy sheet on which the first twinkling of stars could be seen. The moon too, a waxing crescent that reflected beautifully on the surface of the still waters of Tokyo Bay, played its part in creating an almost romantic ambience. Tai Kamiya walked along a footpath that bordered the water's edge. Tonight he had dressed in blue jeans with his favourite orange shirt, atop which he wore his black winter jacket. Beside him, short ginger hair virtually hidden beneath a cerulean woollen hat was Sora.
After the conversation with Yolei last night, Tai had gone to his room, loaded up on his energy drink of choice, put Hawkwind on and studied late into the night. His reward had been six hours worth of sleep before his alarm clock had gone off and been thrown across the room. Unfortunately, he'd had the foresight to prepare for such an eventuality and set an alarm on his phone too, which he'd strategically left on his desk. By the time he had gotten out of bed and turned it off, he'd properly woken up. A quick breakfast and shower had preceded another long study session. However, by early evening, he had reached his limit.
It was coincidentally not long after this, that he'd received the text from Sora. She too, it had transpired, needed a serious break from the books. Half an hour later, he had left home and headed across town to meet her. She had been standing outside her own apartment, waiting on him. And Tai had got a distinct impression that she had not wanted him to come inside. Something he put down to her having had another fight with her mother.
The pair walked slowly along the waterside, neither in a rush to get anywhere. They'd talked a bit, but both had been content with a comfortable silence for the most part. Just being outside and away from their respective school books was enough. It was Sora who eventually spoke, "so have you had any word from universities yet?"
Tai turned his head to look at her. "Yeah," he said without much enthusiasm. "Both Kyoto and Tokyo have offered me a soccer scholarship."
"That's amazing," Sora exclaimed and reached out to give his hand a squeeze. "You must be so excited."
"Not really. I have to get 75 on the entrance exam for Kyoto, or 70 for Tokyo," he said glumly.
"Oh come on," Sora almost yelled at him, "don't be so defeatist. You can easily get 70 and if you really try, 75 is doable." She fixed him with a stern look. "You're not the airhead that's only good at sports that a lot of people think you are."
"Aren't I? I can't even study for a full day."
Without warning, Sora punched him in the arm.
"What was that for?" Tai asked indignantly as he rubbed the impact site with his other hand.
"For being an idiot," Sora said, showing absolutely no hint of remorse. "You, me and almost everyone else, have been studying like crazy these past few weeks. Sometimes it gets too much. Hence why we're both out here instead of at home in front of our books. Besides, you think you have it bad? I have to get 80."
Tai tilted his head as he looked at her. "So you've made up your mind?"
She nodded her head, "yes. I'm going to Kyoto."
"How did your mom take that?"
Sora let out an audible sigh and he felt her squeeze his hand slightly tighter. "We had another huge fight a couple of weeks ago. In the end, I told her that I was going to Kyoto and she couldn't stop me."
"I bet that didn't go down well," Tai said, admiring her bravery. Sora had always been strong, even taking it upon herself to look out for all the other DigiDestined. However, her mother had always been her kryptonite. "How are you going to manage?"
Sora lowered her head and turned away from him. "It didn't," she said sombrely. "Mom thinks I'm being incredibly stupid. She's barely said two words to me since." They walked for a minute or two before she then said, "I've stopped working in the flower shop so I can devote as much time to my studies as possible."
Wow, Tai thought. That must have taken a lot for Sora to have done. However, if she was serious about Kyoto, she would need the extra time to achieve that eighty-per cent.
"As soon as the admissions test is over, I start work at Yolei's parents Ai-Mart. It's a proper job, with a proper wage. They're even going to arrange a transfer for me when I go to Kyoto."
He gave her a warm smile. "Sounds like you've got it all figured out. I'm happy for you."
"Thank you, Tai," Sora replied and gave him a hug. "At least someone is…"
He put his arms around her shoulders and held her close for a few minutes. While not the same as when he held Kari, Tai could still feel a pleasant sense of warmth and love. He sighed internally. Even though his sister no longer hated him, they could never get back together. That door had been closed, locked and the doorway bricked up for good measure. At some point, he would have to move on. Or face spending the rest of his life alone. Maybe spending a few months with Sora, before she headed off for Kyoto, would do him good. His mind sniggered. That was being rather presumptuous, wasn't it? He had no idea if she would even be interested. Not to mention the fact that he did not know if he was even ready to move on.
Tai released his grip on Sora and felt her do the same. His stomach rumbled as he looked at her. "You want to grab a bite to eat?" he asked.
The ginger-haired girl looked down at her feet. "I do, but since I stopped working in the flower shop, mom stopped giving me an allowance. I don't have any money."
"That's ok," Tai said and reached out a finger to lift her chin. Their eyes met, chocolate staring into maroon. "We'll call it my treat."
"Ok," Sora replied tentatively, her lip trembling slightly, "but you pick where we go."
"Fine by me."
They set off and after only a few strides, Tai felt Sora's gloved hand reach out and interlock itself with his own; he offered up no resistance. Was this a thing, he thought as they crossed the road? An indication from the ginger-haired girl that she still thought about him in that way. That the kiss she had given him all those weeks ago had not simply been reactionary. He'd certainly not talked to her about it. His breakup with Kari, having happened on the same day, had driven it from his mind and Sora had not brought it up. They'd renewed their friendship, but brushed that particular event under the rug. However, had it not simply been a reaction to the end of her relationship with Matt... he did not know how he felt if that was the case. Tai tried to force the thoughts from his head as his eyes scanned the street for some idea of where exactly they were and where he might find some decent food. It didn't take long for him to recognise the surrounding shops and at the next junction, he led Sora around the corner and up the street to an inexpensive, but good burger bar.
"I might have guessed," she chuckled when he held the door open for her. "You sure know how to show a lady a good time, Tai Kamiya."
He gave her a grin. "Moochers can't be choosers."
Sora gave him a second punch in the arm for that comment but laughed all the same. They found a table and sat down. Tai picked up a menu that he didn't really need to bother with; he already knew what he'd be having. However, it served as perfect cover for him to stare at his companion without arousing suspicion. While not Kari, Sora was still very pretty and he'd always liked her smile and the colour of her eyes. He shook his head. Was he going to compare everything about her to his sister?
"Something wrong, Tai?"
He jumped slightly on hearing the question, his mind still wrestling with itself. "No," he lied quickly, though probably not convincingly, "I'm fine."
Sora gave him a sideways look. "Did they take your favourite burger off the menu?" she asked with a sly smile.
He laughed as he said, "I don't think the menu has changed since I first came here as a child."
"The décor doesn't look like it's changed either," she giggled.
A waiter came over and took their order and within fifteen minutes, their food had arrived. Tai attacked his meal like it had been the first he'd eaten in weeks. Granted, apart from his light breakfast that morning, he'd been living off of a stash of energy drinks and granola bars for the past thirty hours. When eventually he came up for some air, he saw that Sora was chuckling to herself. "Wha's funie?" he asked through a mouthful of fries.
"You," she replied with a giggle. "You haven't changed since elementary school... at least not when it comes to food and eating."
Tai swallowed the fries before answering, "I'll take that as a compliment."
Sora gave him a warm smile. "It's true. You've grown up so much since then. You're no longer the overconfident, cocky, inconsiderate boy you used to be."
Tai took a bite out of his burger to stop himself from arguing. He was not particularly proud of himself as a child. The culmination of his faults manifesting in the worse possible way; Skull Greymon. That incident had rocked him to the core. And while some old habits had died hard, he liked to think he was a far better person because of the experience. Nevertheless, he, like almost anyone else, did not particularly enjoy having such old faults pointed out.
Sora shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said and looked down at her plate, "that came out all wrong."
Tai could hear the sorrow in her voice, so reached across the table and gave her hand a light squeeze. He waited until she looked up, before giving her a smile and saying, "given the number of times I've made that excuse with you over the years, you can have that one on the house."
She blushed slightly. "I think you just proved my point."
"What? About how I would probably have yelled at you and started arguing?" He left the door open for Sora to agree, but when it became apparent that she was too embarrassed to do so, he continued, "up until a year or so ago, I probably still would have. I guess I've learned not to fly off the handle so quick and that you sometimes have to listen to what other people say, even if you don't like what you here."
"You really have grown up, Tai Kamiya," Sora said with a soft smile.
They finished the rest of their food, after which Tai bought her a milkshake and himself another soda. They drank in silence for a while and just when he began to suspect that Sora wanted to say something, but was having difficulty in doing so, she got his attention.
"Tai," she said tentatively.
"Yeah," he replied after swallowing a mouthful of soda.
"Let's go to Kyoto together," she blurted out before her cheeks turned scarlet.
Tai had no idea how to take the question and so stupidly replied, "what right now?"
Sora laughed and his idiocy seemed to settle her down somewhat. "No, Silly, after high school. You get 75+ and I'll get 80+ and we can go to Kyoto together."
Even after having the time period unnecessarily cleared up, Tai still did not know how to react. Sora had just outright asked him to move to another city with her. Talk about being forward or what. She hadn't even asked him out yet, assuming that she even intended to do so. He stared at her dumbstruck as he thought this through. Surely that would be her intention. That they go to Kyoto as a couple, not just as friends. He did not know how he felt about that. Ok, scratch that, he did, sort of. His immediate reaction, dictated by his love for Kari, was automatically no. However, once accepting the hard fact that he and his sister could not be together, that left him feeling completely unsure. Resulting in the utterly useless response of, "umm."
Across the table, he could see Sora's expression quickly deflate. So to try and stop the lead balloon from hitting the floor, he asked, "do you mean as a couple... not just friends?"
The balloon caught itself and hovered an inch from the floor. "Yes," Sora said softly. "I've done a lot of thinking since I broke up with Matt and I stand by what I said back then. I made a mistake, Tai. A huge mistake. It should always have been you. However, I completely understand if being anything more than just my friend would be weird for you now. So I'm totally ok if you wanted to go as just friends."
So there was his answer. Just over a year ago, he would have given anything for a chance to be with Sora. But Kari had theorised that he had never been in love with her. Had she been right? Or was it possible for you to be in love with more than one person? Or was he simply searching for a reason why he shouldn't turn her down? He sighed internally. He was madly in love with Kari, fact. But could not be with her. That relationship had no future. Hell, it was no longer even that. If he did move on, would it be so bad to do so with Sora? Or would it ultimately be akin to buying your second choice candy bar because your first was out of stock? You would enjoy it, but still pine for what you did not have.
Sora lowered her head again. "I'm sorry for putting you on the spot like this, Tai. I should probably go."
He watched her start to stand and instead of just letting her go, he reached out and caught her trailing arm. "Don't go," he said softly.
She paused and turned to look at him. And he could see her trying to read his expression. Slowly she lowered herself back down into her chair but said nothing.
"I'm sorry too," Tai began, choosing his words carefully. "It's as much me as it is you."
Sora gave him a faint smile but allowed him to continue. Apparently his twist on the age-old, 'it's not you, it's me,' malarkey earned him the right to an explanation.
"I suppose I should probably start by telling you that you weren't the only one to have a breakup that day."
Sora's eyes widened. "Oh my god, Tai, I'm so sorry," she paused before abruptly asking, "it wasn't because I kissed you, was it? If so then I'm so, so sorry."
"No, it was nothing to do with that," Tai replied quickly. He was not sure exactly why he had decided to tell her about his breakup, but perhaps by talking to her about it, he might figure out what he wanted to do. Naturally, he had no intention of telling her that his girlfriend had been Kari. That would break both his sister's trust and lead to a whole different conversation. "We decided that our relationship just wasn't viable long-term, so mutually decided to end it before either of us got too badly hurt."
"Tai, if I'd known, I would never have asked you about the possibility of us getting together," Sora said apologetically.
"Don't worry about it," Tai reassured her. "I probably should have told you about it sooner." It was only now that he said it, that the thought actually occurred to him. While he had barely seen anyone out with school time, he had spent quite a few breaks and lunchtimes with her. Maybe because it had been Kari, he had elected not to tell anyone. "Regardless, it's over now and we agreed that we can't get back together."
"It sounds like you really cared about her," Sora replied with an ever so slight stiffness to her tone.
"I did," Tai said wistfully, then, choosing his words carefully again, added, "I think I might have been in love with her." Such a half-baked version of the truth felt like a betrayal of Kari. However, if anything was ever going to happen between himself and Sora, he could not have her thinking from the get-go that she was simply a surrogate candy bar. He let out a low sigh. "I'm still hurting, Sora."
It was her turn to reach across the table and give his hand a squeeze. "I understand. Once my anger subsided and I stopped outright hating him, it took me weeks to get over Matt. On balance, even though we spent the last few weeks in an almost constant argument, we did have some good times before all that."
"We never had any arguments. Maybe that's why it's taking me so long to get over it," as he spoke, Tai had to fight in order to stop a tear from falling. And wondered if he would always feel this way when talking about the relationship he'd had with his sister.
"It'll take time, but eventually you'll heal," Sora soothed. "And if you want, I'll be waiting for you."
"I can't answer that right now," Tai replied truthfully. "Maybe after we get the results from our university entrance exam and I know what my options are, I'll know if I'm ready to move on."
Sora nodded her head. "I understand. We can talk about Kyoto after we get out results."
"Ok," Tai agreed, "but I'm not promising that I'll even be able to get 75."
She laughed, "you can get 75. However, not if we sit here for the rest of the night."
He sighed. "We should probably head home and get back to the books."
"I'll be glad once this damn test is over and done with."
They finished their drinks, paid for their meal and left the burger bar. Tai walked her back to her apartment before heading home. He'd gone out to try and give his mind a rest and wound up with even more to think about. Just his luck.