Chapter 1: The Travellers Take Azkaban (And Harry)
Dr Who is created by the BBC. Harry Potter is created by J.K. Rowling. Credits to BlackCatKuroi for writing the story that inspired me.
If there was one thing the Doctor knew, it was that the TARDIS was in no way a dumb box. She was sentient, she was strong-willed, and she liked to dump him into situations that ranged from mildly dangerous to life-threatening in which the only constant was that he was needed.
"Where are we?" Amy asked, jumping out of the police box and tugging her boyfriend-now-husband out with her.
"Well," the Doctor replied, stepping out, "We're meant to be in Venice."
"I get that last time we went to Venice was a disaster," Rory said, "But last time I checked, I'm pretty sure Venice had water."
"Well, yes." the Doctor spun around, taking in his surroundings. "We're not in Venice. Well, the good news is we're still on Earth, and not too far off from our time, either. Hmm… nineteen-eighties, I'd say. Somewhere in England."
"At least we haven't landed in the middle of a war," Rory mumbled.
"Rory Pond, I haven't landed in the middle of a war in ages," the Doctor huffed.
"It's Williams!" Rory protested.
Amy rolled her eyes slightly. "Come on, boys." She grabbed the two men by the arms and started walking. "Let's go."
"Where are we going?" Rory asked.
"I don't know," Amy replied. "But we'll be going nowhere if you keep bickering."
"Ah, yes, good point, Pond. Does anyone see any road signs?" The Doctor glanced around. "Ah, there's one." He broke free of Amy's grip and trotted across the narrow road towards it, reading the words aloud. "Little Whinging." He paused, straightening up. "Well, that's an awful name for a place."
"Mhmm… well then, come on," Amy said. "We know where we are now. Wonder what there is to do here?"
"Well, it's definitely night-time," Rory said, pointing at the moon. "If I was a person around here, I would be asleep."
"Don't be boring," the Doctor scoffed. "Those are boring people. We're time travellers! We get to do what we like."
"You taught all the children at our wedding to dance like you," Rory grumbled. "You can't dance, Doctor."
"As I said, we do what we like," the Doctor replied cheerily.
"Uh, boys?" Amy had skipped ahead to the end of the street and was peering around the corner. "You might want to see this."
Rory and the Doctor walked over and looked around the corner. "What's he doing?" Rory whispered. A man with a massive white beard, long hair of the same colour, and a long, flowing robe was walking down the street, holding something in his hand. As he did so, the light from the streetlamps was being extinguished, orbs of brightness flying from the bulbs and down to the strange object.
"Doctor?" Amy asked.
"Shh, Pond," the Doctor murmured. "Just watch. He looks familiar... I wonder where I met him?"
As he man completed his task of extinguishing all the streetlamps along the street, he paused, turned around, and bent down slightly, apparently talking to a tabby cat that was sitting stiffly on the wall. In a moment, he stepped back, and the cat jumped off the wall, turning into a woman with the same robes as the old man.
"Okay. Weird," Rory commented.
"Shh!" the Doctor said sharply. "Don't let them hear us."
The woman and the man seemed to argue for a while, until they both stopped and turned around. There was a faint grumbling sound, like an engine, getting louder and louder until, out of the sky, an enormous man came flying out of the sky – on a motorbike with a sidecar. The enormous man hopped off, gently pulled a bundle out of the sidecar, and handed it over to the old man, who inspected it carefully. Then, seemingly satisfied, he pulled a letter from his robes, tucked it in with the bundle, and placed the package carefully on the step of a nearby house. The huge man started crying rather loudly, blowing his nose on an oversized handkerchief with a noise like a trumpet; the woman seemed to try to comfort him in an awkward way. Then, the three people left the street. Turning around at the threshold, the old man raised his hand once more and light returned to the street. Then, he walked off into the shadows and vanished.
"Well, that was weird," Amy said, after a moment.
The Doctor clicked his fingers. "Ah! That's why I remembered the face. Albus Dumbledore! Ran into him a long time ago – well, the 5th me did. Runs a school of magic in Scotland – at least, he did in the seventies… God complex only slightly smaller than mine."
"Sorry, school of magic?" Rory crossed his arms. "Really, Doctor?"
"You really should tell us these things," Amy grumbled.
"Well, technically it's illegal," the Doctor sighed. "You're not magic, you're not meant to know…"
"Since when do you care about the law?" Amy asked.
"Since it's convenient – okay, Ponds, let's go find out what's going on!" And with that, the Doctor bounced off down the road. "Oh, there's a baby in the bundle."
"A what?" Amy asked.
"A baby, you know, small human being that cries a lot. I'm reading the letter, come over, will you?"
The Ponds – Williams, really, not that the Doctor would ever hear of it – did as they were told and listened as the Doctor read the letter aloud. "Well, that explains nothing," Amy said.
"I understood it," the Doctor said. "We missed a war by about an hour, see, I told you I haven't landed in one for ages... Shame about the Potters, really – although, now I think of it, the kid was a bit of a toe-rag as an eleven-year-old… still, most people grow up eventually, life is life…"
"Why would you leave a child on a doorstep in October?" Rory asked, scooping up the bundle. "You're asking for it to get – to get pneumonia, or something!"
"Mmm, you're probably right, Rory," the Doctor agreed, putting down the letter and taking the child – Harry, apparently. He took out his sonic screwdriver and scanned the child. "He's alive."
"According to this, whoever lives here – Petunia – she's Harry's last living relative," Amy said.
"Well, she wasn't exactly fond of magic when I was last here and judging by the arguing that other woman was doing, she still isn't much," the Doctor observed. "Not very clever."
"They left a baby in the cold," Rory grumbled. "How much more proof of not very clever do you need?"
"Yes, right," the Doctor agreed. "Oh. He's awake. Hello, Harry."
The baby blinked up at the Doctor and gurgled. "Fuh!" He declared.
The Doctor frowned. "What's wrong with my bow tie?"
"I told you your fashion sense was wonky," Amy commented.
"Why are you talking back to him like he was criticising your clothes, anyway?" Rory asked.
"I speak baby," the Doctor informed them.
"You – of course he does."
The Doctor poked the baby's nose, making him giggle and grab at the Doctor's finger. "That settles it, then. We've acquired a baby."
"Doctor, I don't think you can just take a baby," Amy pointed out.
"I'll leave a note," the Doctor said indignantly. "Honestly, Pond. Besides, Petunia would make a terrible carer."
"We're kidnapping a baby," Rory sighed. "I thought this would be simple…"
"When is the Doctor simple?" Amy asked.
"True."
The Doctor scribbled out a note, slipped in in the mail-flap, and turned around. "Come on then, Ponds, we have a baby to raise."
"Ah Pah! Ah nuu… Do ah!" Harry cooed.
"And possibly some miscellaneous humans to pick up."
"You've got us," Rory protested.
"Yes, well, Harry insists, and who am I to turn him down?" the Doctor beamed.
"You're in charge. Sometimes," Amy pointed out.
"We have a baby," the Doctor said sternly. "Here, Harry, Uncle Rory's taking you now."
"He's actually serious," Rory whispered to his wife.
Amy shrugged. "I'd like a baby. This one's cute."
"Aren't… all babies cute? Wait, what's that – oh, his head's bleeding too, who leaves a baby with a bleeding head on a doorstep?"
"See? You're attached already."
"Ooh, a forest!" Amy exclaimed, stepping out of the Tardis. "Wait. Why are we looking for someone in a forest?"
"Don't ask me, ask the TARDIS," the Doctor said cheerfully. "Alright, Harry, time to find Uncle Number One."
Harry clapped his hands. "Nu-ee… nu-ee!"
"Now what?" Rory closed the TARDIS door and glanced around. "We can't just walk off, we'll get lost, and lost with a baby in a forest sounds like a bad idea."
"We sit down, then," the Doctor said, "And wait for the forest creatures to come to us!"
After about an hour, Amy went back to the TARDIS, grabbed a pen, and started playing Hangman with Rory. She lost, badly. Harry watched with interest, not quite comprehending what they were doing, but thinking it must be fun. Almost as fun as his broom, by the way Amy was giggling.
"It was something you wouldn't guess!" Rory protested.
"Yeah, well, I'd expect better from you than to write the medical word for arse in front of the baby."
"You just said it aloud! Babies can't read, Amy!"
After two hours, Harry started smacking the Doctor's knee. "Nah num."
"He's hungry. What do babies eat… he's about a year old, isn't he? Hold on, I'll be back in a bit." The Doctor plopped Harry down in Amy's arms and slipped back into the TARDIS.
Harry tugged at Amy's hair. "Mama?"
"No, not mama," Amy told him gently. "Just Amy."
"Mama nah," Harry told her sadly.
"I know," Amy replied softly. Rory patted both of them awkwardly.
"FOUND IT!" The doctor exploded out of the TARDIS door and handed Harry a small, roundish fruit, mottled rainbow colours and with a shiny skin. Harry blinked as the Doctor cheerfully proclaimed, "They feed it to the children in the future. Nice and tasty. I think it's a descendant of plums, but I'm not sure…"
"Nah num?" Harry asked.
"Yep! Eat up, Harry," the Doctor proclaimed.
Harry smushed his face into the fruit and bit it. It fizzed a little and he giggled.
After three hours, a man showed up pointing a stick at them.
"Who are you, and why do you have Harry?"
"Nu-ee!" Harry cheered, waving the half-eaten remains of his snack at the newcomer.
"Hello! Are you Harry's uncle? Only I don't know where we are. Or when we are. What year is it?"
"How can you not know where you are?" the man asked incredulously, still pointing a wand in their general direction.
"Well, we're in England. Probably," Amy piped up.
The man frowned. "You're in Wales. It's 1981."
"I got the decade right!" The Doctor cheered.
Rory looked at the baby in his wife's arms. "You know this makes Harry old enough to be our older brother?"
"What the hell is going on?" the newcomer yelled.
"Okay, calm down… ooh, this is messy, actually… how about you come inside and we'll explain? It's cold enough for a baby tonight."
The man tilted his head slightly, still frowning. "Roll up your sleeves."
The Doctor obeyed. Confused, Rory did so too, then rolled up Amy's sleeves for her. The man seemed to deflate slightly with relief. "What's going on?"
The Doctor sighed. "Come inside." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and scanned around. "Ah, you've been with others?"
"Order work," the man said tightly.
"The war's over," Rory said.
The man looked from Rory, to the Doctor, to Harry in Amy's arms. Realisation seemed to dawn slowly and painfully on his face. "They didn't…?"
Harry made a mournful sound. "Ma – ma nah."
"I'm sorry, Mister – er, sorry, Harry didn't give a name. We picked Harry up off a doorstep in Surrey – Little Whinging?"
The man, who had been settling into some form of grief, choked. "Sirius left Harry with Petunia?"
"Is Sirius the old guy?" Amy asked.
The man said a few words that definitely weren't for Harry's ears. The baby in question found it amusing. "See-ee-ah?"
Lupin, even after he'd gotten over the initial shock, refused to let go of Harry for six hours. He held the baby tight to his chest, sometimes whispered and sometimes cried, and gently rocked the Harry until he fell asleep. That was perfectly fine with everyone else; the Doctor found more food for the baby, Rory took a nap, and Amy drew on his face while he slept. Eventually, though, he got up, handed Harry back to the Doctor, and asked where the bathroom was.
"That way. Probably. The rooms move, sometimes, when the TARDIS feels like it. Come straight back when you're done, or you can get lost in there," the Doctor warned.
"See-ee-ah," Harry grumbled.
"Soon," the Doctor promised. "Let Remus grieve first."
"Wee-ma nuu-ee?" Harry asked.
"Yep," the Doctor replied. "Hey, it's been hours, are you hungry yet?"
"Nah num!" Harry cheered.
Remus arrived back from trying to burn his emotions out of himself to find the Doctor laughing as Harry ate his fruit by covering his entire face with it. Against all odds, he smiled.
"Why are we in Azkaban?" Remus asked, aghast, as he stared around the hallway they had materialized in.
"Oh, is that where we are?" the Doctor asked.
Remus turned to Rory, who was on Harry duty. "Someone has to stay back with Harry. It's not safe. The dementors will be horrible for him."
"What's a dementor?" Amy asked.
"It's like… think of a vampire," Remus explained. "But it's always drinking from you, and instead of blood, it drinks happiness. They can also kiss you –"
"What?" Rory interjected. "Sorry, but kiss you?"
"That's what they call it when they suck out your soul," Remus said delicately.
"Wizards aren't always very pleasant," the Doctor observed.
Remus snorted. "Believe me, I know."
"Alright," the Doctor said. "Pond –"
"Which one?" Amy asked.
"You, Pond. Take Harry and stay in the TARDIS while we get Serious."
"Sirius," Remus corrected almost automatically.
"Why do I stay back?" Amy asked. "No… offense, Rory."
"You look too much like Harry's mum," the Doctor said practically. "There's no point in giving this guy a heart attack."
"See-ee-ah ah-tah!" Harry giggled.
"Alright, but I expect an fully story when you get back," Amy told them. "Come on, Harry, let's go do something interesting. How about a game?"
"Fuh," Harry agreed.
Amy and Harry disappeared into the TARDIS and the three remaining men stepped out into the prison. "Not very good security is it?" the Doctor remarked.
"It's easy to get in," Remus said. "Impossible to get out."
"I don't think the Doctor knows what impossible means," Rory commented.
"Of course I do, Pond, it means, come and beat me, Doctor."
"What do we do about the dementors?" Rory asked.
"There's a spell that repels them, a Patronus," Remus explained. "I hope I can still cast it…" he frowned, incanted, "Expecto Patronum!" and watched his patronus wander around them. Rory noticed the cold recede a little as Remus sighed in relief. "Let's hope it lasts."
"If not, we run," the Doctor declared. He glanced down at a prisoner. "That him?"
"No."
"That one?"
"No."
"What about that one?"
"That's Bellatrix Lestrange, and she's a woman," Remus said, looking oddly at the Doctor.
"Mmm… What does this guy look like?"
Remus barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Black hair, grey eyes. Kind of noble-looking, if that makes sense – Bellatrix is his cousin, I think, not that she'd admit it… A bit bigger than me."
"Okay, so not that one?" The Doctor indicated
"No!"
"Right, right… ooh, what about that one?" The Doctor pointed to a cell in the corner.
"Sirius!" Remus scrambled over and shot a spell through the bars. "Sirius, wake up! Padfoot!"
"Mmm… Moony? What'cha doing… Wormtail didn't get you too, did he?"
"Aguamenti," Remus said sharply, and Sirius sat up spluttering and spitting out water.
"Why – who's that?" Sirius asked sleepily, indicating the Doctor and Rory.
"Um, I'm Rory, and I'm a – what, again?"
"Muggle, Rory's a muggle. I'm the Doctor and I'm an alien."
"Mmm… I'm dreaming," Sirius decided, before laying back down gloomily.
Remus shot another spell and Sirius yelped like a kicked puppy, sitting back up again. "Sirius, what in the name of Merlin's saggy left is going on?"
Sirius turned to them. "You… you really…"
"Sirius, we need an explanation," Remus said sternly. "Why. Are. You. In. Prison.
"Wormtail," he said softly. "It was Wormtail. I told James to switch Secret Keepers, said Wormtail would be less obvious and they wouldn't go after him, and he went to You-Know-Who, I told James to use Peter, I KILLED THEM!" Sirius looked wild for a moment, before he continued babbling. "And – and Dumbledore, he took Harry, Hagrid came and said Dumbledore wanted Harry, and Peter, he cut off his finger, he blew them up, all those muggles, and they think he's dead… I killed Prongs and Lily, Moony, I killed them…"
"Sirius…" Remus sighed and sat down on the other side of the bars. "Merlin, Padfoot…"
"So, this Peter guy went to the guy on the opposite side of the war and – and spilt, or something?" Rory asked.
"Dirty rat. We should have known," Sirius spat bitterly.
"How do we know he's telling the truth?" Rory whispered to the Doctor.
Remus seemed to be thinking along the same lines. "So everyone thinks you blew Peter up, then?"
Sirius nodded furiously.
Remus bit his lip, closed his eyes, and levelled his wand at the cell. "Swear it."
"I, Sirius Black, swear on my magic, life, good looks, and honour as a Marauder, that everything I said was true," Sirius blurted instantly. "Huh. I guess I've sworn things one too often…"
Remus lowered his wand. "I'm sorry. I had to be sure."
"I know," Sirius said softly. "I couldn't believe it either. You knew Peter as long as you knew me."
"Apparently none of us knew him at all," Remus commented dourly.
They were silent for a minute or two, until the Doctor, who had been inspecting the cells around them, came over. "So, prison break?"
"People will think there's a murderer on the loose," Rory pointed out. "That… would not make me comfortable."
"They'll get over it. Hey, you're magic, aren't you? Just make a big splash when we get out. Everyone thinks you're drowned. Bingo. Let's break out of a prison," the Doctor chirped.
"How exactly did this happen?" Sirius asked, as Remus let him out of the cell.
"Long story," Rory said. "By the way, there's another Muddle –"
"Muggle," the Doctor corrected.
"—Muggle in the TARDIS taking care of Harry. Amy. She looks a bit like Lily, so we'd best warn you."
"I thought James was fibbing about the TARDIS," Sirius murmured.
"Apparently the celery used to be true as well," Remus said.
Sirius snorted.
A.N.
This particular plot bunny would not go away. So I wrote this. Probably won't be nearly as frequent as my other, committed stories. I hope I write the characters okay. Reviews?