Chapter 2: Bad Wolf (And Dog, and River)
Neither Dr Who nor Harry Potter belong to me. Geronimo!
"Uncle Doctor sleep?" Harry asked worriedly, reaching out a small hand towards the limp body flopped over on the floor. The two-year-old was rather fond of the strange, bubbly man and, despite his age, was acutely aware that sometimes things went wrong – after all, why else did he have a dog-father and three uncles and an aunt instead of a mummy and a daddy?
"N – no," said dog-father replied shakily, holding the boy tightly. "Well, yes, in a way…"
"Shh, Pads, you'll make it worse… oh, Merlin," Remus whispered.
Mels/River/Crazy Woman turned around, looking around at them with an odd mixture of curiosity, concern, and conflict. "Who's River Song?"
Rory opened his mouth and shut it again. "Um."
"That's awkward," Sirius muttered.
"Once again, not helping," Remus moaned. "Why don't you have an off switch?"
"Well, uh," Rory began, then stopped again. This was unsurprising, considering he was going to have to explain how he was roaming around the universe with his son-in-law as the boss while inadvertently having raised his daughter as he himself grew up, thus shaping her personality before becoming friends with her at an… earlier date? Later date? And doing such a bad job of it she decided to steal buses. "Um."
"How do we explain this?" Remus asked. "It's… mixed up."
"Uh… oh!" Amy turned to the Teselecta, which was still standing next to them, thankfully not doing much. "Show us River Song."
Slowly, an image of River materialized in the air in front of them. Mels/River/Crazy Woman blinked in surprise, her face going through a multitude of emotions before settling on pensive. "Is he worth it?"
Rory blinked. "Uh. Yes. Yes, definitely."
"Uh huh," Amy added. "Totally."
"Hell yeah!" Sirius piped up.
"She wasn't talking to you!" Remus hissed.
Sirius blew a short raspberry. Harry giggled, before making a horrified face and burying his eyes in Sirius's shoulder as River swept over and planted a kiss smack on the Doctor. "Eww!"
"What – is this something you guys deal in?" Rory asked, vaguely indicating the massive swirls of golden light and dust that had spontaneously begun to float around the room. "I mean – he's dead – oh, God!"
"Hello, sweetie," River murmured.
"I think that was your regeneration energy," Remus said, voice half an octave higher than normal, "Because no magic can bring back the dead and he's definitely alive again."
"Dead?" Harry squeaked.
"Oh, no, it's okay, Harry, the Doctor's alive," Remus assured him.
"Guys, River just fainted on top of the Doctor," Amy reported.
"Well, at least she isn't going to jump out of a window again," Sirius shrugged. "Alright, Doctor?"
"I think so," the Doctor replied.
"What just happened?" Rory asked.
"She gave up her regenerations to save me," the Doctor explained. "We're going to have to take her to hospital now. Can someone get her off me?"
"Locomotor River," Remus mumbled, waving his wand and lifting the unconscious woman off the Doctor, who sat up and straightened his jacket.
"Right," the Doctor sighed. "Let's get going then." Going to stand up, he flopped over sideways. "Augh! My left leg's still asleep!"
Things can change in an instant. Life is strange. Nothing is forsaken.
"AUNTIE AMY! UNCLE SIRI!" Harry screamed, struggling as Remus threw the four-year-old bodily over his shoulder and helped Rory slam the door shut, locking it with a quick charm and throwing a table up against it for good measure. "PADDY! Auntie – Auntie Amy… Uncle – uh – uncle Siri…"
"Shh," Remus whispered, dropping the terrified, stricken boy down into his arms and stroking his scruffy hair. "Shh."
"What now?" Rory asked, turning hollow-eyed to Remus. "We're stuck here. We can't get out."
"I – don't know," the werewolf said softly. "It's not like any enchantment I've ever seen… I don't know how to reverse it… but…"
"We can't attack them," Rory finished dully. "We don't know what dolls are human, and if we can get Amy and Sirius back. I know."
"Pond…" Harry whimpered, burying his face in Remus's jacket and quietly sobbing. "D – da…"
"I mean," Rory said hopelessly, "We could hit them with, I dunno, a frying pan or something?"
"We'll have to make do with that," Remus replied morosely, gently patting Harry's back, "Because stunning and petrification don't seem to work."
"Why?" Harry asked suddenly, gazing watery-eyed at the two men around him, lip trembling and tears still pouring down his face. "Why?"
Rory sighed heavily and bent down. "Sometimes these things happen. We can only try our best and hope to pull through."
"I want Auntie and Da back," Harry sniffled.
"I know," Remus told him gently. "I do too."
Rory sighed and stood up. "Doctor, you had better pull through," he muttered.
Bad things can happen to the best of people. It is our determination to pull through that makes us.
"Harry. Run," Sirius ordered. "Go with the Doctor."
Harry wasn't entirely sure what was going on. The six-year-old vaguely recognized the man's face but wasn't sure where from. Still, Uncle Siri usually gave decent instructions, so he nodded, ignoring the prickling in his eye-drive, and trotted up the stairs, followed by the Doctor. Stopping on the final step before his companions would disappear from view, he turned around. He saw Uncle Rory standing, gun drawn, sparks crackling around his face; Auntie Amy pushing the eye-drive back onto Madame Kovarian's face; Uncles Siri and Remus standing at either side of the prisoner, wands drawn and faces set despite the sparks falling to the floor from their own eye-drives. Neither Harry's nor Sirius's nor Remus's eye-drives ever worked properly, and they seemed to be acting up quite badly, though Harry had the good fortune to be progressing more slowly than his carers.
Harry wanted to linger, but Uncle Remus caught his eye and made a shooing motion with his hand, sending Harry skittering up the scares in pursuit of Uncle Doctor and Crazy Aunt River.
Fifteen minutes and one loudly gagging, giggling, and screaming child later, Crazy Aunt River dropped by.
"What happened?" Rory asked. "Where's the Doctor?"
"He's escaped," River proclaimed, proudly and fondly. "He's safe and he'll be back."
"Yay!" Harry shrieked, waving his arms like the overactive child he was.
"In the meantime, if we ever encounter the Silence again, we know they're terrified of magic," Amy said with satisfaction.
"Electricity and magic never mix. Now that I think of it, Hogwarts was never struck by lightning…" Remus mused.
"I'm sorry, I thought you said Hogwarts," Rory said.
"He did. The headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, remember? And the schoolhouses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin," Sirius said with a grin.
"Pity the Hufflepuffs," Amy commented.
"Me too," Remus admitted.
Sometimes people make great sacrifices for the sake of others.
"Back off," the eight-year-old said boldly, wielding a large frying-pan as threateningly as he could.
"You. Are. Inferior," the trash-can shaped being in front of him declared, its voice horribly electric. "You. Will. Be. Exterminated."
"Upgraded," the humanoid cyborg corrected.
"The. Cyberman. Is. Inferior," Trash-Can the Dalek, as he was now dubbed in Harry's mind, objected.
"You won't do anything!" Harry exclaimed, glaring at the arguing aliens through narrowed green eyes and entirely ignoring Rory's whispered pleas for him to stop and Amy's valiant attempts to stand in front of him.
"You. Are. Inferior," Trash-Can insisted. "Exterminate."
"Upgrade!" The Cyberman snapped.
"God, you'd think they'd learn to work together," Amy groused.
"Are you really complaining about us being attacked badly?" Rory hissed back.
"Lesser humans must be upgraded," the Cyberman was telling Trash-Can.
"Lesser. Beings. Will. Be. Exterminated. The Daleks. Are. Superior!" Trash-Can exclaimed zealously.
"You can't do anything!" Harry yelled recklessly, raising his frying pan in the air as Rory muttered about how they had acquired a child who insisted on wielding a cooking instrument out of a nightmare dollhouse. "We're gonna stop you!"
"You. Cannot. Stop. Us," Trash-Can said blandly.
"Upgrades. Are. Compulsory," the Cyberman added.
"Nuh uh!" Harry snapped back. "We're gonna stop you, me 'n Pond 'n other Pond –"
"I feel loved," Rory grumbled.
"—'n Paddy 'n Moony and Uncle Doc-tor and Auntie Riv!"
"The. Doc. Tor?" the Dalek asked.
"YEAH!" Harry half-screamed it at the cyborgs. "Me and Aunt Amy and Uncle Rory and Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus and the Doctor and Aunt River! We're gonna stop you and you can't do anything about it!"
"River?" the Dalek asked, almost cautiously.
Rory grabbed Harry's collar to prevent the boy from attempting what the Doctor fondly called an 'Ace Manoeuvre' on the Dalek. Much to his shock, however, the Dalek and Cyberman slowly stepped back, before moving on, both muttering about taking care of the Doctor and arguing over the fates of those around them.
"What just happened?" Amy asked.
"I – don't know," Rory mumbled.
"I didn't get to use my frying pan," Harry said mournfully.
Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself – it does not do to be fooled by words alone.
"You've always wanted kids," Amy muttered.
"I… Amy…" Rory sighed. "We…"
"This really isn't the time," Sirius grumbled. "Ouch!"
Remus shoved the hand that had just smacked Sirius into his pocket. "Insensitive wart."
"What about me?" Harry asked quietly.
"Amy," Rory said sadly, "It doesn't matter. We have two children."
Harry smiled.
"I figured you'd have a better chance with someone else," Amy murmured. "Worse than waiting 2000 years, I tell you…"
"Just take it," Rory urged gently.
"But – look," Harry said, pointing. Sitting on Amy's wrist was another bracelet identical to the one she'd lost.
In shock, the adults glanced around, before four sets of eyes narrowed at the Doctor. "Surprise?" he said.
"I don't know if you're a genius or crazed," Remus growled. "Immune to the Nanocloud."
"Bastard," Sirius added amiably. "Good on you, mate."
"Having a moment, here!" Amy protested.
"Ew," Harry commented.
We hurt the most from those we love.
"Uncle Paddy! Uncle Moony!" Harry yelled, nearly falling down the stairs after tripping over his fluffy slippers. "I got it! I got it I got it I got it!"
"Slow down, Cub," Remus said gently, smiling as Harry tripped into the kitchen. "You're still not used to stairs, remember?"
"Yeah," Harry sighed. "I remember."
"You got your letter? Great job, Pup," Sirius said, coming over with eggs and bacon. "I was almost worried you wouldn't get one…"
Harry blew a loud raspberry at his godfather/uncle/crazy guardian. "Well I did!"
"We'll have to be careful from now on," Remus said. "The Doctor erased all record of your conviction, Pads, but there's no accounting for what You-Know-Who might do."
"Which one?" Sirius asked, stuffing a piece of toast in his mouth and turning around to take the coffee off the heat.
"Either," Remus said seriously. "We can expect Harry to be splattered across the front page the moment we step into the alley to get his things."
"Diagon Alley!" Harry gasped. "When do we get to go? Can we go today? Can we take the Ponds? Please? Please?"
"Slow down, Pup," Sirius chuckled. "What does Mister Moony think?"
Remus shrugged. "Mister Moony thinks it's a fine idea."
"Mister Padfoot thinks certain pure-bloods are going to have fits," Sirius snickered.
"Let them," Harry said with a little too much dignity.
Remus grinned. "I think you'll have a lot of fun this year."
"Less running for your life, too," Sirius commented. "You'll take the cloak, yeah? And see if you can find the map… Prongs would roll over in his grave if you didn't find any secret passages."
"I will," Harry promised with a grin, before his face suddenly fell into something more pensive. "What… if I'm in Slytherin?"
"Disownment," Sirius said dramatically.
"Sirius! He's being – ugh," Remus grumbled, before he turned to the eleven-year-old currently fretting over his sausages. "Harry, don't worry. You're a good person. The hat will put you in the right place. Sure, we'd prefer you to follow us, but we won't worry if you don't."
"But what if I am in Slytherin?" Harry repeated, eyes wide and worried.
"Well, Riv's going to be up thirty pounds, six galleons and a trip to Midnight," Sirius told him. Remus snorted.
"So…" Harry blinked up at his Godfather, who sighed and pulled the scruffy boy into a hug.
"Don't worry. You'll do us proud."
"I will," Harry murmured. "Dad and Mum and you and Moony and the Ponds and Aunt Riv and Uncle Doctor. I promise, Da."
"We know," Sirius replied gently. "Now," he added, more jovially, "You'd better finish that breakfast so we can go swing by wizard-town, okay?"
"We're not taking the bike," Remus warned.
Sirius pouted. "You spoil our fun."
"How are we meant to fit five people on a bike?" Remus asked incredulously.
"Believe me," Sirius said solemnly, "I've seen it done."
Ta-da! I do not have it in me to write 10 years of Harry growing up, so I gave you some vignettes instead of critical moments - Aesops, if you like. As for the bike, believe me, certain parts of the world will indeed fit five people onto a motorbike.
Thank you so much for your support already! I will be a little spontaneous on this but I hope to present you with more timey-wimey OH GOD A MASSIVE SNAKE soon!