He helped Dr. Chakwas out of the pod, and she immediately went to the side of one of the injured crew. Kaidan looked around and started counting pods. Six, seven... He smiled. And they were hauling in one more.
The crewman opening the pod to his right stumbled backwards with a look of shock on his face. Wrex stepped out a moment later, followed by Tali, Garrus, and most of engineering. He looked over the faces. "Tanaka?"
Adams shook his head. Tali put a hand on the chief engineer's shoulder, and he briefly hugged her to him.
"Where's the commander?" Garrus asked.
Kaidan pointed at the last pod. "He retrieved Joker." He got out his medical kit and went to help one of the engineers.
When they opened the last pod, he stood and started in that direction. One of the crew helped Joker out and... Kaidan went still. No one followed Joker out of the pod. Joker looked up and met his eyes, his face bleak.
"No."
#
"Kaidan?"
He looked up to see Garrus. "Hey."
Garrus sat down across from him. "I uh..." His mandibles clicked. "Shit."
"Yeah." Kaidan leaned back. He gestured haphazardly at the music unit. "Sinatra."
"What?" Garrus glanced at him.
"Musician from back on Earth. Before we'd even really launched anything into space." He leaned back in the chair. "Shepard was a big fan."
"Oh." Garrus settled back to listen.
#
Brekin sighed. "Crazy bastard never did visit often enough, but..." He took a drink. "Still hard to believe he's gone."
"Yeah." Kaidan took a drink from his own bottle.
"Smaller turnout than I expected." Brekin shrugged. "But then he didn't have anything in the way of a family and his friends have this habit of dying in blazes of glory." He frowned. "Still, I expected reporters or politicians."
"I think Hackett scared most of those off." Kaidan stared down at his bottle.
"And an empty coffin." Brekin gave a small laugh. "It's kind of like him, you know. Not to bother to turn up to his own funeral." He took another drink. "He mentioned you a few times. I was glad, cause..." Brekin sighed. "He was never what you might call open, but after Torfan..." He turned the bottle around in his hands. "He was this vaguely familiar stranger. The last couple letters though were like..." He smiled. "They were actually from my old friend, if that makes any sense."
"We'd talk sometimes. Usually I was talking to Commander Shepard and..." Kaidan leaned back. "Then he'd shift, just a little. Twitch his shoulder or duck his head and I was talking to Michael." He glanced up when he realized Brekin was staring at him. "What?"
"You had it bad, didn't you?"
Kaidan blinked. "What?"
"Sorry, don't mean to..." Brekin shrugged awkwardly. "You and he were..."
"No, I..." Kaidan shook his head. "No, we..." He looked down at his hands. "I don't..." He sighed.
"Shit." Brekin sighed. "You mattered to him. I know it's damn poor consolation at the moment, but..." Brekin finished his beer. "You mattered to him."
#
Tali hugged him again. "I'm going to miss you."
Kaidan hugged her back. "You'll be getting a hero's welcome back on the flotilla."
"I know, but..." She sighed. "Take care of yourself, Kaidan."
"You too, Tali."
He watched her go. Wrex had left a couple weeks ago. Garrus was still on the Citadel, but he barely had time for a quick drink. Liara had gotten involved with something and bid them a hasty farewell. And now Tali was gone. He felt numb.
It took him a moment to realize he wasn't alone in the room. "Admiral."
"Lieutenant." Admiral Hackett nodded. "Anderson tells me you're thinking about staying with the Alliance."
"Yes, sir." Kaidan nodded. He looked back out the window. Then he clenched his fists. "It's not fair."
"It's not." Hackett shrugged. "But then, if it was, men like Michael Shepard wouldn't exist in the first place. I suppose we wouldn't either." He put a hand on Kaidan's shoulder. "Still work to be done."
"Yeah." Kaidan nodded. "Supposed there is, sir."
#
Something was beeping. There was something beeping. An alarm or... His body wouldn't respond. It was wrong, it was... The ship was on fire and Ashley was trapped by the geth. Cold. Needed to get the heat on or they'd all freeze and the cops were coming in the door and he needed to run and King had stopped moving needed to find someone needed to escape to where was the escape pod...
"There. On the monitor. Something's wrong."
A woman's voice. Something's wrong. Something was wrong. Images appearing and light meant his eyes were open weren't they? Hospital? Was he hurt? The crew was hurt. Where was his crew were they hurt Joker was still in the cockpit Brekin by the red pole the bombs are coming need to find...
"He's reacting to outside stimuli. Showing an awareness of his surroundings."
Lights out. No. Eyes closed. He opened them again. This time his head moved. Not the infirmary. Not on the Tecumseh. Tecumseh was training where was Normandy breaking white light cutting the ship the Normandy was dying.
"Oh my god, Miranda. I think he's waking up."
His head moved. A woman was approaching. Molly? No. A man on the other side. He needed to get up, get moving, get the crew, get coffee where was his crew?
"Damn it, Wilson. He's not ready yet. Give him the sedative." No. Sedative would make it dark. He needed to find his team. Kaidan get to the escape pods. He tried to push the woman away, and she caught his hand and pushed it back down. "Shepard - don't try to move. Just lie still. Try to stay calm."
The doctor wasn't Chakwas wasn't familiar get the needle away get the needle away legs wouldn't move but needed to get to get from get somewhere where they were. They were in danger and he needed to get to them pull them out Meyers screaming and screaming and stop him before he stabs Molly broke two fingers on his jaw shouldn't hit them in the face and he couldn't breathe broke my ribs he's going to kill me this time the ship is breaking need to find...
"Heart rate still climbing. Brain activity off the charts." The woman was moving. Can't follow body won't move. "Stats pushing into the red zone. It's not working."
Air escaping. Air... breathing, need to breath. Need a medic. Kaidan. Go. Now.
"Another dose. Now."
Breathing. Quieting. Need to find...
"Heart rate dropping. Stats falling back into normal range."
The woman is looking at him. Blue eyes. Black hair. Name? Can't match the name. Not...
"That was too close. We almost lost him."
Up. Moving. Lost. Get lost. Can't hurt you if they can't find you. Find an anchor before you get lost at sea.
"I told you your estimates were off. Run the numbers again."
Fading. Fuzzy around the edges and blending and blurry. Ask before...