Ch 10: Dumbledore

"Well."

As Dumbledore took in the assembly, he managed to convey much with this one word. Severus gulped. He was a grown man, a double agent for the Light and the Death Eaters, and a formidable wizard in his own right, yet he was not afraid to admit that he gulped. At that moment, he might have preferred to be face to face with a corporeal Voldemort rather than Dumbeldore with the steel he infused into that one word.

"Albus, it is good to see you," Shacklebolt stepped forward, apparently content to play host again—or interference. This fooled the elder wizard not a whit, but his eyes moved from Severus to Kingsley and seemed to decide that some things were better left for the privacy of later.

"Yes, Kingsley, how are you?" Dumbledore asked good-naturedly. His eyes resumed their grandfatherly twinkle and he no longer looked as if he wanted to remove Severus's hide from his skeleton without the use of magic. "I see that I have been rudely tardy to this gathering."

"No, no, of course not," Shacklebolt continued in a rumbling smooth voice," we were just getting started, and we definitely would not begin without you."

With a good-natured nod, Albus took a seat on the sofa between Poppy and Remus. Severus remained skulking against the wall. Hagrid reached around Remus to pat Dumbledore on the back with enough force to rock all three of them.

"As I was saying," Shacklebolt said while his eyes took in the room, "we have reached an impasse. Once the emergency was noted, we began working at the ministry behind the scenes. Of course, it took some time because the paperwork had to be beyond reproach, and also, filed secretly. We don't want there to be any doubts later."

"And have you done so, Kingsley?" Albus asked him, eying the auror with measured interest. "The paperwork has been filed?"

There was a pause. "It has."

"Excellent!" Dumbledore rose to his feet. "It would seem then, that congratulations are in order?" He gazed at Severus over half-moon spectacles. "I am pleased to know that young Harry will be given the best of care from here on out, from everyone in this room!" Somehow, he made this seem both cheerful and solemn.

"Most definitely, Albus," to Severus's surprise, it was Arthur who spoke next. He popped up into the middle of the room. "You can count on Molly and me for anything you need, Severus. I know that Remus," here he gave a brief pause, where Remus woke out of what seemed to be a trance to nod, "and of course the others have already given you their support. We would all willingly lay down our lives for Harry, but you know we are there for whatever else you need."

"Anything at all!" Molly joined him. To Severus's chagrin, she too got up, and went over to him and gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "Be sure to bring him over. You know we have two around his age." The cheer was forced, even from her. The look in her eyes was one Severus was finding difficult to interpret. She didn't entirely trust him, but she knew the stakes. Even she had decided this was the best course of action. What a sorry lot that was.

Severus nodded, hoping that agreement would put a stop to her hovering. Of course, before he knew it everyone had pledged something, right down to Hagrid's pronouncement that he should bring Harry by as soon as possible once he was up to the castle. Soon, however, they all bustled out the fireplace (for the wards prohibited apparition) and that left Severus to face Dumbledore.

Several minutes passed. Severus was not sure if Albus expected him to speak first. Well, he bloody well wasn't going to. For one thing, he wasn't suicidal. He hadn't survived as long as he had going between the two of them to know that it was better to wait for either Dumbledore or Voldemort to start. In that, they were similar, at least. He had acted against his master's wishes, and he was not going to do or say anything until he knew where he stood. Severus had highly refined survival instincts.

"I believe we discussed this, Severus."

Ah, so that was it. Dumbledore was standing, still in the middle of the room from where he had taken leave of the members of the Order, facing the fireplace. Unlike most of the time, he was taking no steps to mask his magical aura. The power of it radiated from him, along with his displeasure. Severus did not need to be looking at his face to tell. The fact that he had not turned to face Dumbledore was not a sign of fear or disrespect, but of calculation. It was a dance, like anything else. The moves were carefully orchestrated. Dumbledore was letting Severus know that he was angry, and Severus remained submissive.

"It had to be done, Headmaster."

"And it had to be done this way?" There was an edge to that question that showed that Dumbledore was not going to make this easy.

Severus turned to face the elder wizard. Dumbledore had turned, and not facing him would be disrespectful. He could see that etched in Dumbledore's face were many emotions. In addition to displeasure and frustration, he saw disappointment. As always, the disappointment was the hardest for Severus. He had tried for years to make up for the mistakes he had made in his youth. There was no way to completely atone. He would hate to think that in attempting to keep one vow, he had broken another.

With a humble nod, Severus took a few steps toward the end of the room with the door to the hallway, and thus the stairs. He chose his next words carefully. "I am aware, Headmaster, that I defied your orders regarding Potter. It may seem as if I was acting behind your back …"

"It may seem?" Dumbledore's interruption was a mirthless chuckle. "How long has Kingsley been working on the paperwork? And this house? What else do you have in place?"

"This house is one of many, Albus," Severus met Dumbledore's gaze openly now. "You know that. As for the paperwork, it was a back-up plan. I did not think involving you was necessary until or unless it was needed. This way you would have plausible deniability. Besides … I am rather surprised it took this long for you to find out."

"Really, Severus? I'm not. I am not infallible. And you are very good at what you do."

"Is that not why you employ me?"

The two men were almost toe to toe now. Severus had been thinking about his relationship with Albus Dumbledore and this upcoming confrontation for quite some time now, running his mind through all the different playbooks of how it could go. Dumbledore was the chess master. He did not like to see himself check-mated. Severus was under no illusions. Potter was Dumbledore's most important piece. Severus was just another piece. The pieces did not take to making their own orders.

"You were told to wait."

"I couldn't. I couldn't wait. I went there. I told you about those dreams," Severus was done shifting from reverent submission to defensiveness. As far was he was concerned, the dreams were his "check." "I have to wonder though, Albus, why it is that you never went there yourself. You have Arabella Figg, and you send one incompetent Order member after another there, and then when I kick up the dust, you let me investigate and then you tell me to drop it?

I was more than ready to let Prince Potter rest as soon as I saw that he was just chuffed from not getting his third helping of pudding, Albus. That's the wrong child though, isn't it? I don't think Potter has ever had a serving of pudding in his life. He's had precious little of anything in his life … food, love, security. What good is he going to be to you?"

"What are you insinuating, Severus?"

"I don't think I am insinuating, Headmaster." Dumbledore's tone had caused Severus to back off a bit, back to the title. "I am elucidating. Potter is not cared for. What do the blood wards imply? There is no love there. Petunia Dursley handed Potter over to me in a ten-minute conversation. I did not threaten or coerce her." Severus removed a bottle from his robes and handed Dumbledore the memory. "More's the point, they were glad to be rid of him and he was glad to rid of them because he does not consider the place his home."

"The wards have held."

"So they have. They have not really been tested though. Sometimes I wonder why. The Death Eaters I know are either in Azkaban because they were too devout to avoid it or are pretending they have never heard of the Dark Lord. Most of them probably hope to never see him again."

"Is your point, Severus, that Harry does not need protection?"

"No. My point is that he needs more protection. He needs protection from Petunia and Vernon Dursley more than he needs it from any of the Dark Lord's supporters right now."

There it was. Severus waited to see what Dumbledore would say. They had had this argument before, but unlike before, Severus was at the advantage now. It was a tenuous one. There was a chance that Dumbledore could still order him to turn the boy over. A small part of Severus was hoping he would. Ever since he had begun this mad plan, it had all been calculation and action. Now there was a boy asleep upstairs and an angry Albus Dumbledore in his parlor. Really, Severus was halfway ready to abandon the whole thing right there.

Yet, there is the Vow.

Then, there are the dreams.

Severus realized Albus had been looking at him while these thoughts, occluded or not, ran through his mind. It didn't matter. The older wizard did not need magic to know what Severus was thinking. He had gone way out on the limb for this one, uncharacteristically so. It was Dumbledore's duty to take him to task for it, and it was Severus's duty to accept the chastisement. In the end, however, Severus had an advantage. He currently had guardianship papers for Harry Potter.

"Very well, Severus. Know this, however: While I do not claim infallibility, I hold the unenviable position of direction. When you took it upon yourself, you became much more intimately involved in matters in which you had previously sought to distance yourself. You can no longer harbor any ill-intent toward the boy due to his parentage, nor can you isolate yourself from the Order. Soon, most certainly sooner than we all wish, you will need to make a choice.

You have put us in a difficult position, but we have been in difficult positions before. As to the matter of Harry, I expect you to be more than his bodyguard. You have not taken him from one inferior guardian in order to become another. If it is as you say, it may take some time to earn his trust. Your task is much greater than to keep him alive.

Your task, dear boy, is to build a life for him."

Severus started at the gentle tone. Dumbledore gave his shoulder a firm clasp and made his way toward the fireplace. Before he entered to leave, he turned.

"I do not think I need to tell you either, Severus, that if you should fail either in keeping Harry safe or ensuring that you are a fit guardian, I will be most displeased."

With that, he left. Severus allowed himself to fall unto the settee, where he remained until the weight of the threat had lifted off him.

Slowly, he stood up and went upstairs. He opened the door to the child's room, and looked in. The boy was still asleep, looking impossibly small. His nightlight let off a pale green glow to the room. Carefully, so that he would not wake him, Severus walked to the side of the bed. He remained there for a few moments and then wordlessly conjured an armchair and put it in the middle of the room.

The boy would have to cease to be Potter and be Harry. Dumbledore was right, Severus had accepted for himself a task for which he was wholly unprepared. It really was not much of a surprise to Severus though. His life was not his own, once again. It no longer belonged to Dumbledore and the Dark Lord. Now, apparently it belonged to the impossibly small boy with the messy hair who looked a lot less like his father when he was asleep.