Part Six: Secret No Longer

Chapter Four: The right to decide

In comparison with her hell on earth previous week, this one had been so much easier for Kari Kamiya thus far. She'd woken up on Monday morning, showered (finally being able to rid herself of the last of the marker pen that covered her chest), got dressed ate breakfast and then been greeted outside her apartment building by no less than six members of S.P.E.T. including chief architect, Yolei and Davis; who had been absent on Friday due to soccer practice. They'd all greeted her warmly, given her a hug (because apparently, that was their thing), and then formed a group around her as they walked to school. The few snowballs that had been thrown her way had all missed and the throwers quickly chased off by Davis and another boy, Akira, using tennis ball launchers. She'd then been escorted around the school all day by various combinations of S.P.E.T members, their number never dropping below six. While it had been a touch oppressive, it had done the job. No one had been able to get close enough to do anything untoward to her and anyone who dared to yell an insult at her were themselves yelled out of the corridor by a chorus of voices. At the end of the day she had then been escorted safely home.

Come Tuesday, the snowballs had stopped and any known offenders had remained silent whenever she and her entourage passed by them. Kari had also noticed new faces amongst their ranks. Yolei it seemed had been on a recruitment drive. It had been a relief to have an almost normal day she had thought when she had finally arrived home that evening. Wednesday morning had passed by in the same manner as the day before. And come lunchtime, she was just starting to think things might go back to normal when everything blew up…

##

Kari sat in one of the comfortable chairs that lay in front of the guidance counsellor's desk. She was in serious trouble now. Not actual trouble with the school. No, that honour went to those that had been at the head of the altercation; Yolei and Davis unfortunately amongst them. However, it had not taken long for the teachers to determine that she had been the epicentre of the incident, even if only a spectator to the actual event. Worse yet, Hitana had made it crystal clear to them that the altercation was all to do with the fact that she was a brotherfucker. She took a long slow breath to try and steady herself and desperately tried to stop her limbs from shaking. Oh god, this could be it. If she could not convince the guidance counsellor that the rumours about her were untrue, it was game over. A call would go home, her mother would come in and be told everything the teachers had managed to establish. She would then have to face her mom and she doubted she would be able to keep the truth from her for long. Even if she managed to maintain the lie, she would be taken home, sat down on the sofa beside Tai and the question would be put to both of them. It would be pointless to continue to lie at that point, as all it would do would be to buy them a few awkward months' worth of time before they planned to tell them anyway.

Kari felt a cold sheen of sweat form on her skin as she waited for the guidance counsellor to arrive. She did not need to measure her pulse to know that her heart rate was erratic. With one shaky hand, she reached into her bag and pulled out her cell phone. If the guidance counsellor walked in and saw her texting someone, there would be more awkward questions. However, she needed to warn Tai of the situation. If things went south, he needed to know what he was walking into when he got home after school. Fingers moving franticly, she wrote, "Tai, we're in trouble. I've been pulled into the counsellor's office because the teachers are aware of the rumours that are being spread about us. I'm scared that if things go badly, they'll bring mom in…"

She kept an eye on the door, her hand hovering over her bag, ready to drop her phone inside should it open. Heart in her mouth, Kari waited for either Tai to respond or the counsellor to arrive. It was the former who was quickest and she felt her phone vibrate in her hand. Hurriedly she flipped it open and read, "Kari, don't panic. You need to relax and tell them that it's a nasty rumour, but you don't know where it came from. I know it will feel wrong to do so, but you don't have a choice. As neither of us wants mom and dad to find out this way. Stay strong and message me as soon as you can. If I don't hear from you, I'll assume the worst. I love you and I'll see you soon."

Kari sent a quick, "I love you too," before dropping her phone into her bag, just as the room door opened and the guidance counsellor stepped in. She was a kind woman, in her early thirties, with long brown hair that held a slight curl and warm hazel eyes that sat behind a pair of red-framed glasses. Today, her hair was held up with a pair of chopsticks, with two long curly strands hanging down either side of her glasses. Her name was Miss Katsuragi.

"Hello, Kari," Miss Katsuragi said as she walked behind Kari to a chabudai (low table) that sat on a rug at the bottom end of her office.

Kari turned her head to look at her.

"Why don't you come sit with me?" the woman said softly as she sat down and began pouring hot water from a kettle into a small teapot.

While the question had been phrased as an invitation, Kari knew she had no choice in the matter. Rising from the chair, she crossed the room to the chabudai and sat down opposite the counsellor.

"Tea?" Miss Katsuragi said, lifting the teapot and hovering it above a pair of yunomi teacups.

"Please," Kari said with a polite nod of her head. She didn't particularly want it, but it might help to steady her nerves.

The woman poured for them both then sat the pot down. She then slid one of the cups towards her.

"Thank you," she said and tried to give the woman a light smile. It took effort for her to stop her hand from shaking as she reached out and picked up the cup. She blew on it several times before taking a sip, consciously aware that the counsellor was watching her over the rim of her own cup.

"Now, Kari, since we've never had to sit down and have a chat before, I want you to know that it is safe for you to say whatever it is you need to while you're are in this office. Do you understand?"

Yeah right, she thought bitterly. Safe from punishment from the school maybe, but safe from you deciding that you need to call my mom, not likely. However, she could not very well say that out loud. Instead, she replied with a brief nod of her head and the words, "I understand."

Miss Katsuragi took a sip of her tea before she then said, "why don't you start by telling me what happened just there in the corridor?"

Kari bit her lip behind the rim of her cup before taking a deep breath. She'd have to be careful here as the counsellor had probably already heard the story from one of the teachers who had interceded in the altercation. "Class had finished and after packing away my things, I headed towards the lunchroom with some of my friends."

"Members of this new club, S.P.E.T.?"

Kari nodded, "yes."

"Are you a strong believer in equality and tolerance, Kari?" Katsuragi asked quizzically.

"Of course," she replied without hesitation. "Everyone should have the right to be who they want to be and love who they chose to love, so long as it doesn't harm anyone else."

The counsellor gave her a small smile. "You're quite liberal and open-minded for one so young. Although it seems that there are quite a number of you who share such values." The woman paused to take a sip of her tea, before adding, "please, continue."

"We were walking through the corridors when we suddenly found our path blocked by another group of students. When they wouldn't let us past, some of my friends started to argue with them."

"Why wouldn't they let you past?" Katsuragi probed.

It had been obvious that the woman would ask this and in hindsight, she perhaps should not have even tried to gloss over that particular detail. She took a mouthful of tea to try and hide her awkwardness at talking about this point, before she eventually answered, "they wouldn't let the group past because I was part of it."

She received a look from above the rim of the counsellor's teacup that told her she expected more than that.

Kari sighed. "They've got a problem with me because of this rumour that has been circulating about me. They think it's true and find me disgusting because of it."

"The rumour about you and your brother?" Katsuragi asked.

Although the woman's voice had been soft and tone kind, Kari could tell that the question had been deliberately asked to gauge her reaction. She took another sip from her cup and then nodded her head, "yes." This was where she had to be careful. If she acted too defensively or tried to skirt around the issue, it would immediately flag and sway the counsellor towards believing that the rumour was true. "There's been a rumour going around since last week about me sleeping with Tai." She chose to leave it at that, just the simple facts of the matter. Katsuragi would naturally fish for more details and she would give them to her, but only when she directly asked for them.

However, for now, at least, the counsellor chose to return to her initial line of enquiry. "So, what happened between the group you were with and the other students?"

Kari relaxed slightly on hearing the question. Now that they had established that the rumour about herself and Tai existed, she was happy to divulge the details of the corridor spat. "The other students were happy to let the rest of my group pass, but not me. However, my friends did not want to leave me. I think they were afraid that something nasty might happen to me if they did. Some insults were then aimed at me, which caused my friends to shout some back. Then someone, I don't know who, shoved someone else and a fight broke out." That part was a lie. She knew full well that Davis had been the first person to lay a hand on another. However, she had no intention of getting him in any more trouble than he already was. "It didn't take long for Mr Nishimura to appear and put a stop to it." She drank a mouthful of tea when she finished as the woman studied her.

"Thank you, Kari," Miss Katsuragi said as she sat down her cup and started pouring herself another. "Would you like some more?" the woman indicated the teapot in her hands.

"No thank you," she replied; the tea was not quite to her taste.

"Kari, you know that you can tell me anything and I won't judge you," the counsellor then said. "I'm here to offer advice, help and support, not to cast judgement upon my students."

She managed to keep her expression calm when she said, "I know." Even though internally, her response had been more akin to, yeah right.

"Kari," the slight firming up of the woman's tone told her before she even uttered the words, "are you in any way involved in a romantic relationship with your brother?" what the question was going to be.

She sat her cup softly on the table and said, "no." Though she kept a straight face, denying her relationship with Tai cut her deeply. It felt like a betrayal of both him and herself. However, in this instance, she had no choice. Both she and her boyfriend knew full well what would happen if she admitted the truth to the counsellor. And neither of them wanted their parents to find out in this way.

Miss Katsuragi looked at her pointedly over the top of her cup. "Are you absolutely certain, Kari?"

Shit, so the woman had either made her mind up before entering the room or something from their conversation so far had done so. This was not good. She would continue to deny it, of course, but it might not matter. The counsellor may already have decided to call her mother. Hell, the call could already have been made, hence why it had taken so long for the woman to come and talk to her. The panic that she had steadily been trying to control, bubbled inside her stomach and almost made her want to wretch. She forced herself to take a calming breath and hoped it didn't show. "I'm certain," she eventually managed to say. "I don't know where these rumours came from."

The counsellor let out the smallest of sighs and sat her cup down on the table. It was at this point that the woman threw her a curveball. "Kari, if your brother has done something to you, anything that you know is wrong, you need to tell someone."

"What!" Kari exclaimed in disbelief, unable to contain the burst of anger that filled her upon hearing the insinuation. How dare the woman even suggest that Tai had ever done something to her without her consent. It was downright slanderous.

"Kari," Miss Katsuragi said firmly. "If your brother has forced you to…"

"Tai would never force me to do anything!" Kari said hotly, her fists clenching as a torrent of rage coursed through her. "He's the most caring, compassionate and honourable person I know and I love…" she stopped abruptly as her eyes met those of the counsellor's and she realised too late that she had fallen for the trap. Her cheeks immediately started to burn and her breaths became short rasps. It was game over now. The counsellor would send for her mother and she would be told everything. Then she would be taken home and the inquest would begin. She felt her eyes begin to prick and soon hot tears began to run down her cheeks. How could she have been so stupid?

In front of her, Miss Katsuragi picked up the teapot. "Kari, I need you to listen to me carefully," she said as she refilled both cups. "I need you to calm down and then we can talk." The woman then handed her a tissue.

She took it and slowly began to dry her eyes, however, the tears continued to pour. This prompted the counsellor to come around to her side of the table and give her a hug. Kari continued to cry within the woman's embrace for several minutes before finally, the tears began to subside. She felt cold to her core, almost numb.

Miss Katsuragi then helped her dry her eyes and guided her hands to the warm teacup. "Drink," she instructed softly, "it will help."

Kari did so and felt the hot liquid flow down her throat and start to warm her from the inside out. The woman left her to drink the entire cup as she re-boiled the kettle. When she returned, she made a fresh pot of tea before saying, "why don't we start at the beginning, Kari? Are you involved in a romantic relationship with your brother?"

Kari stared at the contents of her teacup, unable to make eye contact with Miss Katsuragi. There was no point denying it now. Her reaction to the woman's insinuation about Tai had given the game away. "Yes," she whispered, much as she had done when confronted by TK the previous week.

"Ok," the woman breathed slowly, "it's good that you have told me the truth."

"Why?" Kari cried out, her voice shaking as her emotions continued to bleed unchecked from her, "so you can tell my mom that you've heard me admit it?"

Miss Katsuragi reached across the table, took hold of one of her hands and then lifted her chin with the other. She found herself staring into compassionate hazel eyes as the woman said, "no, so we can talk openly and honestly."

While the counsellor had not said that she wouldn't be calling her mother, her words were enough to calm Kari slightly, at least for the moment. Slowly she began to regulate her breathing.

"Why don't you tell me about your brother? How did the two of you come to be involved with each other?"

"It's a long story," she replied after a moment or two, unsure if she wanted to give the woman any more ammunition with which to supply her mother.

"We've got plenty of time, Kari. I'm willing to listen if you are willing to talk." Miss Katsuragi gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Take your time and tell me as much or as little as you want."

Kari took a sip of her tea and stared at the counsellor's kind features. Was she really about to do this? Was she actually going to divulge the details of her relationship with Tai? She swallowed the mouthful of tea, took in a slow breath and began at the beginning. She told the woman about Yolei's sleepover, the magazine quiz, her relationship and breakup with TK, Davis and the year of depression that followed. Occasionally, Miss Katsuragi would ask a question, which she would answer and then continue. She went on to tell her about the weekend alone with Tai, how she had accidentally kissed him, the fallout from that and the weeks that had followed. When she finally got to the part where he confessed his love for her, she left out the part about his self-harming. It was not her place to talk about that and she certainly did not want to risk a call going out to the counsellor of Odaiba High School and have Tai hauled into their office. It was with a mix of great fondness and sadness that she spoke about the relationship she and Tai had shared from that point. The highs they had enjoyed when together, but also the lows of when they had been apart. When it came to the part about their breakup, Kari started to cry again. The memory of that incident still holding a lot of pain for her. Miss Katsuragi gave her more tissues and patiently waited for her to continue. For obvious reasons, she skimmed over details about their four-week separation. Then revelled in the memory of when they had gotten back together. Finally, she spoke about the weeks since, leaving out details about them having had sex.

When she had finished, Miss Katsuragi then asked, "so, where did the rumours in school come from?"

Kari hesitated for a moment, before she whispered, "TK. His brother found out about us and told him. He then confronted me in homeroom last Monday and neglected to keep his voice down…" she paused for a moment, reluctant to add, "…I may also have told him that it was true."

A look spread across the counsellor's face that told Kari that the final pieces of the puzzle had just slotted into place. "Why did you tell TK the truth?"

"Because I seriously hurt him when I broke up with him and I felt I owed it to him," she replied. "All I could see was the pain in his eyes and I didn't think about the consequences."

"Ok," Miss Katsuragi breathed slowly, "I think I've heard enough." The woman paused for a moment and looked as though she was struggling to come to a decision.

This was it, Kari thought, judgement time. Granted, it took her by surprise that the woman looked so torn. She would have assumed that the decision had been made the moment she confessed.

After a few more agonising moments, Miss Katsuragi said, "Kari, I need you to listen to me carefully."

She replied with a small nod of agreement.

"This is a very serious matter in terms of your personal wellbeing and by rights, I should have your mother telephoned and brought in immediately. Add to that the fact that it has caused disruption within the school and the principal would certainly insist."

Kari lowered her head on hearing the woman's words. She'd known this would be the line of argument. Her relationship with Tai would be considered unnatural, unhealthy and bad for her mental wellbeing. Not to mention that it had been the root cause of a major altercation amongst the student body.

"However," Kari's eyes flickered up to stare at Miss Katsuragi on hearing the woman speak the word. "I also have a duty to do what is in the best interests of my students and at this moment in time, I don't think that is in your best interests."

She stared at the counsellor, not willing to believe what she had just said. Had the woman actually just suggested that she might not phone her mom?

"As you can see, this presents me with a serious problem, Kari," Miss Katsuragi continued. "At present, I don't think bringing your mother into this situation is in your best interests, however, I also can't ignore my other obligations and do nothing." The woman paused, the torn-in-two expression resurfacing on her face. After a few moments of silence, she finally said, "on this occasion, I'm not going to phone your mother."

Kari's mouth fell open and she could not believe her luck. She'd been boxed in with no escape, yet somehow, inexplicably, she was going to walk out of this room unscathed. She was about to blurt out a massive thank you when Katsuragi spoke again.

"However, I am going to give you a serious warning and some advice. If there is another incident like what happened today, I will have no choice but to have your mother brought in. The principal will insist on it and I will be forced to tell her what you've just told me. So, my advice to you is this, either you need to end the relationship with your brother, or the two of you need to tell your parents about it yourselves. If you come back and promise me that it is over, I will keep your secret and maintain the stance that I am convinced it is nothing more than a vicious rumour. What you choose to do is up to you, Kari."

Kari allowed the woman's words to sink in before she responded. It was not an enviable choice, however, at least it was a choice. And while she could not end her relationship with Tai, the likelihood of another incident was high. That left her only one option, she and Tai would have to tell their parents; sooner rather than later. She met the counsellor's gaze, "I understand."

Miss Katsuragi gave her a soft smile. "I'm going to arrange an appointment for you to come back and talk to me next week, barring any incident between now and then. That will give you some time to make a decision and we can talk about it then. Sound fair?"

Kari sighed internally. She had a bad feeling that, regardless of what she decided, she would be having weekly appointments with the counsellor until further notice. Unfortunately, the woman was throwing her a rather generous bone and she could not afford to turn it down. "Ok," she said softly.

"Glad to hear it," Miss Katsuragi said and she stood up. "I'll give you my permission to take the rest of the afternoon off, give you some time to think."

At the woman's behest, Kari stood up and received a hug, before being escorted to the door.

"Good luck, Kari," the counsellor said and gave her one last smile.

"Thank you," she replied with a polite nod before she turned and left the office.

Passing through the now empty corridors, Kari made her way to the main exit. That had been too close. Unfortunately, it had only delayed the inevitable. She and Tai now had no choice, they had to tell their parents.