AN: This story takes place between A Not so Simple Patrol and When the Sun Winds Down.

Binary

Rage is an easy emotion to latch on to.

Rage can provide a number of different things for a person. Fuel to drive them forward. Determination to push past obstacles. A shield to keep away everyone and everything else that could get close enough to cause pain. The ability to burn away other feelings that might try to drag a person down. Or, when someone is consumed by it, it at least provides the illusion of these things.

For Zillah Arvid, it had been a constant companion and a shield against her own insecurities. If anything negative happened, anything stopped her from reaching a goal, she had been able to tap into that rage to overcome and press on. It had worked for her for many years, helping her achieve her goals and meet every challenge she faced. Defeating enemies. Winning sparrow races. Crucible victories. Clinging to that fire inside her had worked very well.

Until it didn't. Until the Reef.

She had felt drawn to the home of the Awoken, as if the Queen herself had spoken to her. Yet when she had arrived, they had rejected her. The Queen had refused to speak with her. When that happened, the rage was waiting.

Zillah took on every challenge they presented her. She hunted down Wolves when they betrayed the Queen. She entered the Prison of Elders and fought her way through every wave of enemies that came at her, diffused every mine. Yet, no matter how hard she fought, they still rejected her. Her anger had failed her.

Suddenly, every insecurity, every fear that the burning fire had kept at bay now clawed their way into her mind. She wasn't good enough. Her connection to the Light not strong enough. She had nowhere to turn. And so a darkness settled over her, bitterness replacing rage as her one constant.

Then Queen Mara Sov and Prince Uldren disappeared.

For a time, Zillah sought to discover their fate. She thought if she could return them home, that it would finally bring her the acceptance from the Awoken that she had been denied. She set out to solve the mystery, and instead found something else. She found acceptance in an unlikely group of Guardians and helped stop a major threat to the system. She thought she had found a home, before the betrayal happened.

Once again, she was set adrift, and latched on to something else. Lady Efrideet and her colony of Lightbearers who had walked away from the conflict. If Zillah was torn by trying to find a place where she belonged, pulled in multiple directions, maybe the best choice was just to walk away from everything. Maybe distance could put everything else in perspective.

So that was what she did. Zillah followed Efrideet out to the Outer Rim.

Now the Warlock knelt on a small chunk of rock with no atmosphere, her hands placed on her thighs and her eyes closed. She had been in that position for hours. From the outside, it gave the appearance of serenity. Inside the suit, however, was an entirely different story.

Zillah was trying to completely clear her mind, though she found the task more difficult than she would have expected. The two warring callings that had pulled at her, the Light and the Awoken, refused to silence themselves. Anger flared at both the feeling of being trapped in the middle and her own inability to quietly focus, and she had to fight to push that down as well. She grimaced, her lips tightening to a thin line.

"This is useless," she muttered, opening her amber-colored eyes.

"Efrideet didn't seem to think so," Feivel, her Ghost, responded.

"She's a Hunter, what does she know?"

"If you really felt that way, you wouldn't have come out here."

"You're not allowed to be logical when I'm venting," Zillah replied.

"Then when would the opportunity present itself?"

The Awoken woman rolled her eyes at that. Were Feivel physically present rather than dissipated into her suit, she might have been tempted to swat at him. As it was, there was little she could do but sigh.

"Why am I even out here?" Zillah asked rhetorically.

In typical fashion, her Ghost answered. "You were trying to find focus."

"Not here," the Warlock replied. "Here."

To emphasize the last word, she moved her hands from her legs and gestured all around. The Ghost's "eye" followed the motion, taking in their surroundings, one asteroid among many adrift in a sea of stars. Not far were larger bodies where the colony actually resided.

"Same answer," he replied.

Zillah opened her mouth to reply, then stopped herself. He had been right about that. The wider lens of the solar system hadn't offered that to her yet, though maybe it needed more time or a slightly different approach.

She turned her head until she located the Sun. From here, it was barely larger than the other stars, though noticeably brighter. The Earth was merely a faint speck, easily missed among so many others. She stared on those two dots for several seconds before closing her eyes and taking in a long, slow breath.

This time, she didn't try to clear her mind. Instead, she focused on whatever image presented itself. The first thing that came to mind was the Traveler, hanging silent and broken over the Last City. In her thoughts, she was flying just above its scarred surface, sailing close enough to reach out and touch it. She let her fingers drag across it as she soared around the sphere, and felt nothing. No spark, no pull.

As she rounded the massive shape of it, her eyes drifted toward the City. Specifically, they moved to the Tower at its center. At the top of the Tower was an open plaza, and in the center of that plaza and looking at the Traveler, at her, was a familiar figure in fur-trimmed armor that glowed faintly in places. The figure removed his helmet, revealing closely cropped red hair and intense blue eyes...

"Traveler's crack!" Zillah cursed, her eyes snapping open again.

"What?" Feivel asked.

"Nothing," she said, pushing that final image from her mind. "I'm done here. Get me back to the ship, please."

She stood and the transmat caught her. She dropped into the pilot's chair, steering the ship at low power back to the colony. It was a short journey, and the ship was quickly docked then Zillah felt the effect of the transmat again. Boots on the ground, the Warlock set out to find people. She'd been alone with her thoughts enough for one day.

"Zillah!" Efrideet had spotted her first, calling to her with a wave.

The Warlock turned to the Iron Lady. Zillah was not the historian that others were, but she had read and studied enough of the history of the Risen to be aware of the identities and exploits of some of the more legendary figures. Seeing people like Zavala, Ikora Rey, Lord Shaxx, and Saladin Forge, all prominent figures in the story of the Guardians and the Last Safe City, had become commonplace. Even so, it was still slightly surreal to be around one of the legends who had supposedly died over a century ago. Maybe that was what it felt like to normal people or the Awoken on those rare occasions they saw a Guardian that they had known in their previous life.

"Hello, Efrideet," Zillah offered as a greeting.

"I heard you had taken an excursion," the Hunter began. "Did you decide to try my suggestion?"

"Yes, though I didn't have much luck."

"Hmm," Efrideet stood in thought for a moment, then continued. "Walk with me?"

Zillah nodded and fell in behind Efrideet as the Hunter began walking. They passed through a large common area, with Efrideet either greeting or returning greetings from everyone they passed along the way. It left the Warlock feeling oddly exposed and uncomfortable.

"Perhaps our approach has been wrong from the beginning," Efrideet said once they were alone again. "Since you've been here, we've tried giving you suggestions on how or where to meditate and clear your mind. You've been willing to try just about everything we've thrown at you, but maybe that isn't what you need."

"What do you mean?"

"You said that you felt like you were losing your connection to the Light. So maybe the answer is as simple as using the Light."

"How so?"

"Well," Efrideet said, "you know our approach here to the Light is different than what you'll find in the City. Light can be used for so much more than a weapon. Even there, some Guardians seem to understand this as many Warlocks use their Light for healing."

"I am familiar with the notion of Sunsingers," Zillah replied, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"So what if we tried connecting with the Light in a different way?" Efrideet continued unfazed.

At that, Feivel made an appearance and floated in front of the Hunter. "In a different way?" he echoed.

"You'll see," Efrideet replied.

They entered an area comprised of living quarters and stopped outside one of the rooms. Efrideet rapped her knuckles against the door and waited. A few seconds later, the door opened, revealing the room's occupant, an Awoken man with grey skin, dark, swept back hair, and white eyes.

"Zillah, this is Kado. Kado, Zillah."

"Hello," Kado said with a nod that Zillah returned.

"Mind if we step inside?" Efrideet asked.

Kado moved from the doorway and gestured for them to enter. The two women stepped inside, and Zillah glanced around the room. It looked comfortable enough, though light on decor. The only thing she noticed that was clearly decorative was an odd piece in the corner that reminded her of the Reef.

"Kado has been with us a while," Efrideet said, bring Zillah's focus back to her. "He used to be a Warlock, and has probably spent more time studying the nature of Light than anyone I've met in a very long time."

"You flatter me," the Kado said.

"Don't play modest," Efrideet admonished. "Kado, Zillah has a unique problem that I think you might be able to help her with."

"I will do what I can," he replied.

"Great. I'll leave you to it, then." Efrideet look at Zillah. "Come find me later and let me know what you think."

With that, the Hunter swept out of the room, leaving the two Awoken alone. Kado turned his attention to Zillah who shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"Please, have a seat," Kado gestured to the chairs he had arranged in the living area, taking a seat in one at an angle to the others.

Zillah took the seat furthest from the one he had chosen. If Kado noticed, or thought anything about that, he gave no indication. Instead, he studied her face. As he did, he steepled his fingers, tapping the tips of his index fingers together.

"I can see that you are troubled," he said after several moments passed. "What is this 'unique problem' that Efrideet mentioned?"

There was a pause, where Zillah studied the man as intently as he had studied her. Looking into those bright, white eyes, she didn't sense any scorn or pity, merely curiosity and an honest desire to help. So she unburdened herself.

She didn't intend to tell Kado as much as she did, but once she opened her mouth, it was as if a dam had burst, spilling forth everything that it had held back. She told him things she had never told another person. Not even Claney, who had seen her at her worst and had been the first person she'd shared any of this with. She spoke of hearing Queen Mara Sov in her mind, calling out to Awoken Guardians, of being rejected at every turn by the Awoken. She talked about feeling detached from the Traveler, about her Light failing. About the need she had felt to be accepted by the Awoken. She ended her tale with the Transmission crisis. Anything beyond that point was irrelevant to the issue at hand.

Kado listened, and if he noticed the abrupt end of her story, he once again didn't mention it.

"It is known," Kado said, his voice low and smooth, "that the Awoken, or at least a small portion of them, do possess some psionic abilities. Telekinesis. Telepathy. It is entirely possible that Queen Sov could have sent some sort of message, though I personally never detected such a thing. I personally know of no other Guardians who have mentioned any such occurrence either. This does not mean it did not happen, merely that we did not experience it.

"For it to affect your connection with the Traveler, it would have to be a powerful thing. Since it is so singular to you, perhaps you had a strong connection with Mara Sov in you previous life. It would be an interesting prospect to look into, given the opportunity.

"That is unimportant at the moment, however. What we want to look at is your Light, and I have a thought on the matter." He rose to his feet, then gestured away from the chairs. "Please?"

Kado strode to the center of the room and stood expectantly. Zillah hesitated, then rose and walked over to join him.

"First," he said and held out his hands. There was the shimmer of a transmat, and then a crystalline object, roughly cylindrical in shape, appeared on his outstretched palms.

"Is that…" Zillah trailed off, her eyes widening.

"A fragment of the Traveler. Yes."

"How did you get that?"

"The Traveler was badly wounded during the collapse. There are pieces scattered in many places."

"I know that," she replied. "But I also know that the Speaker and Vanguard were very careful to try to find as many of them as they could. Which proved to be a good idea, given that the Hive were found with a large fragment that they were using to harm the Traveler."

Kado smiled. "Well, I do not exactly report to the Vanguard, do I?"

"I suppose not."

"Take it," he said, extending his hands to her.

Zillah reached for the fragment. She hesitated for a brief moment before wrapping her fingers around it. Holding it, she could feel the Light flowing through it. At the same time, Feivel materialized and hovered over it, a beam of Light emerging from his eye and sweeping over the piece.

"What do you feel?"

"The Light."

"Anything else?"

Zillah considered the question, closing her eyes and focusing on the shape in her hands. "No."

Zillah heard the sound of footsteps and opened her eyes. Kado had moved across the room, over to where she had seen the items that looked like they had come from the Reef. He picked something up and strode back to where she stood.

"Now take this." He held out his hand again, in it was clasped a small statue that looked like one of the Queen's Techeuns.

Zillah carefully handed back the fragment of the Traveler and took the newly offered item. Once her hand was on it, she could feel the Light in it as well. There was something else there too. Something she couldn't put her finger on at first.

"What do you feel now?"

"The Light again. And something else."

"That is the Darkness."

As soon as Kado said the word, the connection that Zillah's mind hadn't been able to make clicked. She had felt a similar feeling when battling the Hive and Taken. She peered at the item intently, then closed her eyes, focusing on the interplay between Light and Dark in the object.

"What is this?" she asked.

"An Awoken artifact," Kado replied. "Beyond that, I have not been able to ascertain. I know it is important, but none of the Awoken that I have spoken to over the years have been willing to reveal its purpose."

The Warlock turned the item over in her hands. As she let her mind focus, she began to feel a familiar pull, as if she was being called home. She tried to concentrate on that feeling, but it never became anything more than the faintest of whispers. She opened her eyes and offered it back to Kado.

"While these are fascinating objects, I really don't get the point of this."

"The point? You could look at it a few different ways. One, you were able to sense the Light, both in the fragment and in the artifact. That proves that you have not lost your connection, and are still more sensitive to it than you may have thought. Alternatively, the balance of Light and Dark in the Awoken statue could be a model of how you could find balance between the calls of the Light and the Awoken within yourself. Or maybe there is not a point other than to get your mind thinking about something other than your own frustrations for a little while."

Zillah stared at the man, and then laughed in spite of herself.

"There is something else I can do for you, however." Kado said. "The actual reason Efrideet brought you to me."

Without waiting for a response, Kado brought his hands to his chest, then swiftly thrust them out and downward. A circle of Light erupted around their feet. Zillah blinked in surprise, looking down.

"What is this?"

"A rift. A way to utilize the Light to restore, energize, or heal," Kado said, then stepped out of the circle. "I want you to try focusing on something now. Sit, kneel, whatever is most comfortable for you to meditate."

"I tried that already outside. Didn't work."

"Humor me."

Zillah resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Positioning herself in the center of the circle, she knelt, placing her hands on her thighs. "Now what?"

"Now focus. Think about the Light surrounding you, and then the two items we were just discussing."

Zillah closed her eyes, concentrating. She did as Kado said, focusing on the Light energy surrounding her, feeling it flow into her. It did feel energizing. Next she tried to think about what he had shown her. The fragment of the Traveler didn't spark anything, but the Awoken statue was a different story.

She thought about the interplay between the Light and Dark that she had felt, how the two opposing forces existed alongside each other. Supposedly, the Awoken themselves were born from both the Light and Darkness. It wasn't that different from her now, born of both the Awoken and the Light. Perhaps the two didn't have to stand in opposition of the other.

A picture formed in her mind then. Two stars, orbiting together around a central point of gravity. Perhaps there was something there in the thought. What if the two powers pulling at her were instead orbiting, working together to create a whole?

What if she was the central point in a binary star system?

The Light of the rift began to fade, and with it the clarity of thought that had emerged. Zillah opened her eyes again, looking at the no longer luminous floor, and felt a strange sense of loss. She had never experienced anything like that before.

"Kado?"

"Yes?"

"Can you show me how you did that?"

"Gladly."

…

AN

Thanks to jrhenderson1 for the story follow and favorite!

I actually started writing this about a year ago, but set it aside and kind of forgot about it. I was in the mood to write, but didn't have access to my most recent chapter of Sun (which is up to page 4 and will be ready soon). Looking at my laptop, I found the old file I started for this. I wasn't really happy with the direction it was going, so I started it over.

While working on this, I had to look back at Broken for reference. Doing that, I ended up looking at all the old reviews for this story. Man, I miss my old review crew. If y'all are still alive out there, give a little wave every now and again.