I'm Not Crazy

Week two and Elena was doing great. No, even better than great, she was thriving. She had never felt so good, every single nerve cell in her body tingled with each and every moment. It was the first time she had everything she could've ever wanted, she had Damon, she had Bonnie, she had Caroline, she had Matt; she had all of them. Thinking of the past, thinking of those times where she thought she was completely and absolutely fulfilled, she shook her head because it can't have been true, as she didn't feel the way she felt now and it was the most magnificent feeling ever.

She could leave this place. She could, she really could. Elena was better now, Matt had worked wonders on her, she had figured out her issues with her family, with Jeremy and Alaric, and all the problems she had within herself. They were gone. Poof. She was fine. She was fixed. She was euphoric.

"What's got you all smiley, Sunshine?" Damon questioned as he sauntered over to her.

Looking up from the magazine page she had read a thousand times, she grinned even wider at the raven haired man who had a greater impact upon her in two weeks than anyone she had ever met before. "Nothing…" Elena trailed off, basking in the shivers Damon just resting his hand on her shoulder sent through her body. "Just waiting for Jer and Alaric to arrive, I can't wait to see them!"

Slowly tilting his head to the side, Damon peered at her curiously; his electric eyes squinted just so slightly, as if he might be able to see her in a different way. "You seem optimistic about their visit, a much different tune to what you were singing a couple of days ago." He began, thinking of the nervous wreck she was, shaking so much that she hardly noticed the tears that pricked at her eyes, and hyperventilating to the rate that a nurse asked if she was all right. All Elena could do was ramble on about how Jeremy was going to react to her, how he would be jealous and spiteful and want to ruin her progress. Considering her previous near breakdown, Damon couldn't help but be a bit skeptical when seeing her cheery attitude. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem a bit…"

His disbelief prompted an immediate reaction from Elena. "What?" She spat out, her back stiffening from its relaxed slump to a rigid board. A heavy crease between her brows formed and she pursed her lips, clenched her jaw, and tightened her fists, as if readying for a fight. "Happy? Joyful? Excited? Well considering I'm going to see my brother and former guardian who I haven't seen for a month I'm pretty sure that's the right reaction! But I guess considering you're so narcissistic and vain you don't comprehend anyone's joy other than your own and-"

"-No, no, no, no!" Damon cut in before she said anything else. "No, Elena, no. Just-" He didn't understand her sudden defensiveness, her sudden but absolute change in personality and everything. It stumped him. He didn't like it, her vicious side. And he especially didn't like it when she was attacking him. But he wasn't about to go into it because he first and foremost didn't know how, and he also didn't want her to loose it again. He'd only known her two weeks, so it probably wasn't his place to ask her about it, that and he also didn't want to lose the only person who seemed to tolerate him, other than Stefan of course. "Never mind, Elena. It doesn't matter. I want you to be happy. Just. Forget it, okay?"

And like a chameleon, she transformed back into the person she was but a moment ago. Her face relaxed into a loose smile, she ran her hand through her hair and she rolled her shoulders back before slouching once more. "Umm…" She hummed, her coffee colored eyes taking in the space around them. "Who's the blonde over there with Stefan?"

Rolling his eyes, Damon suppressed a sound of distaste, and waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, her. That's just Lexi, Stefan's best friend, guardian angel, sensei, protector of the realm yadda yadda yadda. She's the one who put me in here, so I'm not about to go over and say hi."

"Damon… If she had never put you in here, then you would've never met me." Elena responded, hushed but heard, her hand half-mindedly clutching onto his. And her skin tingled, no, stung, as it always did when they touched. But it wasn't the kind of sting that made you jerk away in reaction; it was the kind of sting that made you hold on harder and harder. Damon's heart raced in his chest and a knot tied itself in his throat and he was speechless.

It was true. She was right. It was because of Lexi that he had met Elena. And if it weren't for her, then he would still be wandering around, mindless, half drunk at the street corner bar he tended, smelling of cigarettes and rum and shit, with no purpose. Lexi had done that for him. God he fucking hated her for everything but loved her for it.

"And to be honest, it's only been such a short time, but I know I would go insane if you weren't here."

"I'm glad I'm here I've-" He had never said such words to anyone before, he had never felt his heart move at such a rate, never felt his tongue tie and never felt the world stop around him and yet… "I'm glad I'm here."

The half grin they both offered each other in response made each other's day.

Endorphins soared through Elena's body as Damon's eyes trailed down her face and onto her lips. Blood pumping in her ears was the only thing she heard, and he was all she could see. That was, until they were interrupted by the one who had brought them together.

"Hey! Lover boy!" Lexi bellowed out from across the room, a smirk on her lips and a twinkle in her eyes, and Damon was irked to see that Stefan was sharing that exact same look. "Get on over here!"

Elena couldn't help but let out a laugh, one that was inelegant and hideous, but she thankfully slapped her hand over her mouth and smothered it before Damon could hear the rest of it. Then, she patted him with that same hand. "Go, Damon." She ordered softly.

He let out a grunt and shook his head.

"I think it's the least you could do… She did-"

"-Alright, alright, alright!" Damon snapped, rolling his eyes and taking a dramatic breath, before turning around and begrudgingly walking towards the tormenting two who beckoned him over. Elena grinned as she watched him walk off, a million images of what her life, their life together, would be like once they finally gained their freedom. She could just feel it, the fresh air on her tongue, the feeling of flowers under her fingers, the sun so bright it burned her eyes. Everything would be perfect.

It could only come soon enough as well, she was clearly improving, moving out of her slump and going even further. Nothing could bring her down now. And Damon, well, if Elena was around she knew he would be fine. She could keep him in shape, and he could hold her up high. They complemented each other in every way.

She had been smiling so hard her lips hurt, so it was a good thing Alaric and Jeremy, especially Jeremy, walked in, because the smile accidently slipped right off her face, but not before her little brother could make a comment. That comment.

"She's doing it again."

Alaric nondescriptly nudged the kid sharply in the ribs, but he just shook his head dismissively. Elena quickly plastered a grin on her face and rose to give them a hug, which Alaric accepted with a look of relief, but Jeremy declined when he just plopped down on the seat across from hers. She noticed his hair had grown longer, his bangs pricking at his eyes in a messy mop. He was also dressing darker, looking paler, with bloodshot eyes and bruises beneath them that reminded her of Stefan's insomnia.

He looked ill.

"How are you, Jer?" Elena asked immediately, softening her eyes as she looked at him, worry pooling at the bottom of her stomach. "You don't look so well…"

Jeremy almost snarled as he glared up at her from beneath his hair. "Why'd you even bother asking if you were just going to answer your own question anyway?" He shook his leg as if anxious to get out of there and crossed his arms over his chest tightly, his jaw permanently clenched.

He was doing it again. That thing. The thing where when she was doing so well, so well that she was almost ready to reenter the real world, he'd try to bring her down as much as possible. But she wouldn't let him do that. She wouldn't and couldn't, because Elena was so close. In only two weeks she was feeling better than she ever had before.

"So Elena." Rick started, trying to ease the tension that was quickly growing, and she couldn't have been more grateful. "How are you? How is the new center, do you think it's, uh, doing good things for you?" He continued on, looking at her in a way that could be described as a curious peer, but she ignored it and answered.

"Oh Rick! I'm doing so well! I don't think I've ever felt so good! I mean, I have all these friends, Bonnie, and Caroline and even Rebekah!" She leaned forward and grabbed onto Rick's hand, once again ignoring the strangely crestfallen expression on his face. "Oh, and this guy, his name is Damon. He's just so great. Every one is great, I just feel like God or whoever is up 'there' is finally giving me my retribution for all of my suffering and-"

"-Like I said." Jeremy cut in, his voice flat and his eyes judgmental. "She's doing it again."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Enzo sat by the window, staring out with blank eyes at the patients who walked hand in hand with their loved ones. As he had been there for only two weeks, he wasn't yet allowed to go into the gardens. There was a waiting period, 'trust must be earned'. But it wasn't like he would've gone out there anyway; he found the way nature was so infused with life absolutely suffocating, because it just reminded him of how much he wanted to be gone, gone from the people around him and gone from Earth.

But he wasn't allowed that pleasure because there was supposedly some 'chemical imbalance' in his head that made him feel that way. As a result he was broken, but he could be 'fixed'. He knew that was bullshit. All of it. Bullshit. There was nothing wrong with not wanting to live anymore; there was something wrong with him having that ability taken away from him, however.

Free will was all he had had left, and now even that was taken away from him, and he was nothing. He had nothing left. Enzo was tired, tired of the hollow feeling in his chest, tired of the ache in his body, and most of all, tired of those small moments of happiness he sometimes felt, those small moments that made him laugh but then feel so, so guilty because he wasn't allowed to be happy.

He didn't deserve happiness, he deserved nothing. And seeing all the families that had come to visit his fellow patients reminded him of the blatant reality of that statement.

"Who's coming to visit you?"

Looking towards the perky blonde source of the question, he frowned at her beaming smile and bright eyes. Caroline looked radiant and happy. He hated it. "No one." He muttered, twisting away from her and back to the stark sun that burned his eyes.

"Oh."

It was the pitiful reaction he heard all the time. The sorry sound people made when they found out about Maggie, when they saw the scars on his wrists, when they asked him why he had been in the hospital. He had been in the ER five times. It was five times he had attempted to do it and it was five more failures to add to his record. He hated the pity because it not only reminded him of his failures, but also that people felt empathy towards him, which was something he didn't want nor deserve. "Go away, Caroline." He barked, when he felt her presence still hovering behind his shoulder.

"Enzo I-" She placed a gentle hand on his arm, which he violently jerked away from, not even bothering to look back at her and hoping she would get the message. However she didn't, as she exhaled deeply, and continued on. "I'm sorry that no one is coming to visit you. But I just want you to know that there are people out there that care about you."

Enzo was quiet, feeling his stomach turn to knots and his heart jump into his throat as her words entered his head. Caroline was pure and golden, a ray of sunshine whose mere presence cast warmth upon his back. She had no idea. She was so wrong, but he didn't even have the strength to tell her, because he was weak, just like always.

"Matt cares…" She said softly. "We all care, Enzo. I care about you. I want you to get better; we all deserve to feel better about ourselves than we currently do. I'm just beginning to realize that, and I hope you do as well. But in the meantime, always remember that I care about you. It's only been two weeks but I do, I care. I'll be here for you when you need me, just keep that in mind, Enzo, alright?"

Caroline's shoes clicked on the tiled floor as she walked away when he didn't respond, and with her exit disappeared the small ounce of warmness Enzo felt. Back to the cold, back to the nothing that was numb. He detested it, those periods of time when he felt nothing but the air in his lungs. It was times like this that he almost longed for the aching pain that his grief and depression put him in. The agony where he could do nothing but roll up into a ball and fall apart.

Enzo was quiet when he was being torn to pieces, he couldn't make any sound when the screaming in his bones was so loud and so bad. It was so bad. God, it was awful. Every single time was worse than the next, but he deserved it, he did. He deserved every single second of pain those periods of time put him through.

Yet, like the selfish shit he was, although he preferred the pain, Enzo always found it easier to feel nothing than to feel something. He hated himself for it.

"That's bullshit, you know."

He didn't even see she had pulled up a chair and was sitting beside him until she said it.

"Caroline doesn't care, Matt doesn't either. No one cares." Valerie continued on while Enzo peered at her spitefully despite knowing the truth of her words. "She's only saying that kind of stuff because she doesn't know what to say. But when she's out of here and you're not, let me be the first to tell you that you're not going to be getting any visits from her." She glanced to the side, her pasty blue eyes giving him a knowing look, before she looked out the window and ran her fingers through her ginger strands of hair, then completely changing the subject. "Anyways, what's so good about the view here anyway that's got you staring out her for hours-"

"-Sod off, will you." Enzo muttered, before twisting around so his back was to her. "I'm not in the mood."

She let out a huff, and he could almost hear her roll her eyes. "I'm going to take a guess that you haven't got any visitors coming to see you?" Valerie masterfully predicted, then letting out a short and sour-sounding laugh. "Me neither."

Deciding that telling her to go away wouldn't work (it hadn't with Caroline, and they both seemed to have an irritant curiosity about him, for some reason); Enzo went down the path of completely ignoring her. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to work as she continued on talking.

"I've never had any one visit me here, ever. And I've been here since I was twenty, which is seven years. For the first few years I used to get really depressed during the familial visiting times, but after a year and a half I got used to the fact that no one on the outside cares about me." The redhead talked with a strange enthusiasm in her voice, even though her story was sad. But Enzo noted it down to her desensitizing herself to her situation. He knew that well. "Even before here, when I was beat up in my own home by my boyfriend Julian, so badly mind you that I miscarried my baby and was sent to hospital, no one visited me. So I don't actually know why I got so upset during those times because I knew that I wasn't going to get any visitors and…"

There came the sadness. Her voice turned hoarse and raw upon the word miscarried, and Enzo knew that was her kryptonite. The one thing that she couldn't be numb to no matter how hard she tried. He had his own kryptonite as well. He could talk about his incredibly shitty childhood, his near death experience with severe influenza, even all of his bids at suicide, whilst feeling absolutely nothing, but the one thing, the one person, that tripped him up was Maggie. Always, always, Maggie.

"Was that your second or third attempt?"

Enzo was stroking at his scars without even trying. He did that sometimes when he was thinking. It reminded him of everything he was. "What makes you think it wasn't my first?" He asked without looking, deciding to humor her.

Valerie leaned forward into his sight, pulling up her sleeves to reveal scars of her own, matching his in manner, albeit a little more jagged and messy. "No one ever goes for the wrists first. Too painful, and it's harder to cut through skin than you think. People want to die quick and easily, and this is too slow and hard." She elaborated matter-of-factly.

"They were my third." He answered, his voice hollow. Numb. "What about you?"

"My second. The first was death by carbon monoxide poisoning. Foiled by my mother who was 'checking up on me'." She responding, her everything, expression, posture, tone, mirroring his. "What about you, Enzo?"

'What about me?' Enzo thought.

And he looked at her.

A flicker.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It's nice to see you're all well and- Oh my… Kol, what happened to your face?"

"He got into a fight." Rebekah responded to Elijah's dumb question, a hint of glee in her voice. Kol glared at her, malice in his eyes, and then at Freya who couldn't resist a smirk as she joined Rebekah on the sofa.

Finn gave an idle shrug as he sat across from her. "I see no difference in his appearance." He muttered, crossing his arms, making it extremely clear that he hadn't come to visit them voluntarily, but it was probably Elijah and Freya who dragged him there instead. Kol desperately wished they hadn't… So did Rebekah and Klaus. No one really got along with Finn, but Kol did the least. He found Finn depressing, and that was saying a lot considering they were in a mental institution. However just like at home, Kol wasn't going to let Finn bring him down.

"I wear it as a badge of honor." He announced proudly, smiling so wide he could almost feel the stich on his lip split. Blood pooled in his mouth, but he continued on grinning, almost manically, anything to show Finn that his comments didn't bother him.

"You have no honor, bro-"

"-How are you all doing?" Elijah cut through Finn's retort quickly, glancing around at their faces. "Made any friends?"

Rebekah scoffed loudly. Klaus picked at his cuticles. Kol flopped back in his seat. The three were quiet.

All six of them stared at each other for many moments, each waiting for the other to say something. The divide between the incarcerated siblings and the free ones was clear, and a quiet tension quickly built up in the atmosphere. Kol wanted nothing more than to run away.

Fortunately, the silence was shattered when the quiet murmuring of other patients and their families surrounding them was overtaken by the sound of a foreign voice yelling cruel words. All siblings turned their attention away from each other and towards the source of the screaming, and Kol wondered who the hell thought it was a good idea to have a tantrum amongst mentally unstable people.

All in the room directed their eyes towards where the shouting was coming from, and Kol saw Elena was grimacing away into the wall as a teenage boy with dark floppy hair and sad wet eyes, presumably her brother, continued on bellowing a few teary words, that were thick with emotion from the past, before storming off and out the door, just as a few nurses arrived to see what the commotion was about. An older man laid a gentle hand on Elena's shoulder, whispered a few words to her, to which she responded with a small nod as tears trickled from her eyes, and then he ran out the room after her brother. When he was gone, Elena shriveled away into herself, and Kol could see her body shuddering as she wracked silent sobs.

God, how Kol hated family drama, whether it was with his own or not.

"Well that didn't take long." Rebekah commented, spite in her voice, turning away back to her family when Bonnie excused herself from her visitor, and she and Damon rushed to Elena's side to console her. Kol knew Rebekah didn't like Elena, he didn't really like her himself. But that was just because she was boring; Rebekah didn't like Elena because she was more popular than her. It was funny, really…. Well, at least, it was to Kol.

"What are you going on about?" Klaus questioned.

Rebekah blew a strand of hair away from her face and raised her blonde brows. "She had been going on and on to me for the past week about how worried she was that he brother would get angry with her and how he would be jealous of the fast progress she had been making." She shook her head flippantly, pursed her lips, and before anyone could make a comment upon what she revealed, Rebekah continued on. "Enough about that wench! Now, Freya, why don't I give you a tour of the premises?" She proposed with a wicked grin on her lips and a knowing look.

Freya, of course, mirrored the exact expression, and nodded. "Why, of course sister. Let us have some girls talk and leave our brothers to… be civil with one another." She said it like it was suggestion, but it was more of a warning as she grazed her sharp and authoritarian eyes over them. Then they were off, arm in arm with each other, already giggling into their hands as they made their way towards the door leading out to the dining room.

And the silence was back.

But this time, it was only a few moments, not minutes, before it was broken.

Finn abruptly stood up, and smoothing his hands down his clothes, he looked down his nose at his brothers, and said with a curled lip, "I think I may join them." He declared disdainfully, and turned away and followed after them before any one could object, although it wasn't like they were planning to anyway.

"Enjoy the girls talk, brother!" Kol called out after him. Finn didn't even spare him a second glance.

Rolling his eyes, Elijah scolded, "Kol, stop aggravating Finn. It's-"

"-So, Elijah, how long are you three down in Virginia for?" Klaus cut through, asking the question with an accusatory tone, for some reason. "I don't want you to disadvantage yourself by coming down to visit us. As we all know, your job is a priority."

"Yes," Kol added, deciding to jump on the bandwagon, "or perhaps you should check yourself in here? Workaholism, is it called?" Klaus and Kol both glanced to each other, nodded, and then looked to Elijah, who looked uncomfortable as he was put on the spot.

Letting out a subtle sigh, Elijah rubbed his hand over his face. "Listen, you two. It wasn't my decision to put you in here. You know that, it was mother and father who both-"

"What?" Kol interrupted, his jovial and joking tone taking a sharp turn into one that was absolutely serious. His dark eyes stared Elijah down and Klaus noticed his knuckles turning white as he gripped at the arms of his chair. It was rare that Kol was serious, even more so when he was angry, which he clearly was. "It was mother and father who both made the decision to lace our evening meals with some depressive agent to knock us out completely? How did the other patrons of the restaurant react when Bekah, Nik and I's heads all fell down into our meals? Huh, 'Lijah?"

His voice had raised to a single decibel below a yell and he was now standing, towering over the seated and suited Elijah, who stared up at him with an unreadable expression, the one he normally masked his features with when he could hardly believe what was happening. Kol, on the other hand, had his teeth bared in a snarl, his brows twisted together and his lips curled as if each word he said was as bitter as the next. Klaus was matching his elder brother and remaining stoic and silent, because while he was vehemently on Kol's side, he didn't want to join in on the scene his little brother was quickly making. Yet he wouldn't stop it either. Elijah needed to know what he had let happen to them.

"I'm sure they probably thought, 'what in god's name is happening with that psychotic family? Why is that mother continuing on with her meal as her three children inhale the leftovers of their dinner?' Why would mother and father want to make such a scene of locking their children away in a nuthouse, anyway? Why would they want to tarnish their precious reputation?" Inching forward, Kol was starting to attract more and more attention. Surrounding conversations drained away, heads turned to the disturbance and quiet cut through the room, but for the sound of Kol's voice. "Oh! You know what, it probably doesn't matter! The Mikaelson drug lords don't care what anyone thinks of them!"

Elijah's eyes widened and even Klaus knew Kol had taken it too far. He stood and grabbed his younger brother's shoulder. "Kol keep your voice down." He hissed in his ear. However Kol just viciously jolted away from Klaus' touch.

"We don't belong here Elijah any more than you do! We're not crazy! We're not! I'm not crazy, Elijah! I'm not!" He continued on, his words quick so it sounded like a rant, but pleading as if he was trying to convince Elijah of it, or perhaps just himself. "I do care about other people, I swear! Just-"

As Klaus made another attempt to calm his brother down, Kol went a step further and swung his elbow up into the blonde's face, causing a crack to sound through the air and blood to immediately start squirting from his nostrils. And despite the blood, despite Klaus' curses of 'shit, fuck, fuck, Kol, what the fresh hell?', despite gasps sounding in the room and the noise of hurried footsteps, despite Elijah finally jumping to his feet, part in worry of Klaus and part in worry of Kol trying for him… Despite all of that. Kol continued on with his desperate plea. Even as the white clad attendants dragged him away kicking.

"I'm fine! I'm not crazy! Just sign me out, and you can see, I swear 'Lijah, I can show you! I swear please! Brother, please! I beg of you now plea-"

His voice was cut off by the sound of a slamming door.

A nurse came forward to try to attend to Klaus' bleeding nose, but he just shrugged the woman off, wiping at the blood dripping down his face with the back of his sleeve and rubbing at his jaw with his other hand.

"Klaus, you are bleeding profusely and I think your jaw could have a fracture, I must to take you to the infirmary." The nurse insisted, trying to grab onto his arm and yet he stayed put, stubborn, and shook his head.

"Don't worry love, it's just a little bloody nose and a minor dislocation." He retorted, turning away back to his older brother, but not without saying one last thing that would make her stop pestering him and scurry away. "Nothing I haven't had to deal with from my father before."

With a resounding crack, he jerked his jaw back into position, and pinched his nostrils to stop the flow of blood, sitting back down with a resounding sigh. His eyes flickered up to his older brother, who remained standing, completely and utterly motionless. He stared into the distance with blank black eyes, his chest barely moving with each breath he may or may not have been taking.

Klaus would've almost been worried about Elijah's almost catatonic state if he wasn't already worrying about Kol. Although he sometimes hated his brother with his whole, although Kol had put him through more than he was probably worth, and although Kol was a shit most of the time and had never thanked him for all he had done, Klaus cared for his youngest brother deeply. And, thus, he was worried about Kol.

There were only two other times he had seen Kol act in such a freaked manner; the first being when he was dragged away to rehab at seventeen for his cocaine addiction, and the second being when he was dragged away from Davina at her successful inquiry into getting a restraining order against him after he had committed domestic violence on her. He claimed that 'coke is the only thing keeping me breathing and taking it away will surely kill me', and that 'I didn't mean to hit you, I was just drunk and you were saying cruel words, but I know you love me'.

This time. Klaus didn't know what had gotten Kol so panicked and-

"Tatia wants a divorce."

Klaus stilled. Air stopped moving through his lungs. His heart stopped beating in his chest. His world stopped turning around him. His mind could only think of her. The one who hurt him most.

"She's leaving me."

Klaus' world slowly drained away with Elijah's three-worded comment because here came his downfall and…

Oh.

No.

Oh my lord what can I say? I'm a piece of shit. Sorry for the spontaneous hiatus. I've been so busy during the past few months with my finals, and then I went away to Southern Africa for the beginning of the summer and didn't have access to internet, and was too busy looking at animals to even write. And now I'm visiting family and am still way busier than I thought I'd be. But I decided to spend as many nights in bed as possible writing until I could no longer, and this resulted. Hopefully the next chapter won't have such a long wait!

Please if you have the time, review and tell me what you think of this chapter and the story so far! I appreciate every comment all readers have left so far as they help and inspire me to push on and work through any troubles I have when writing. They mean so a lot. Follow and/or favorite if you want to know about future updates! Once again thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. X

Next Chapter - Hayley is moved to a separate room to Bonnie and Caroline, but doesn't know why. The isolation tears open old wounds for her, and then to top it all off, she sees the reason, or more like, who's the reason, why she was singled out from the other two. And it's not good. Bonnie has a one-on-one therapy session with Matt, and you'll finally find out the reason why she had PTSD.