A Look Back

"You never did say why it was only one date."

"What?"

Titan Claney Beamard and Warlock Zillah Arvid sat at a small table, facing each other. The table was in the dining room of The Modern Emperor, a somewhat popular Ramen shop located in the Last Safe City. Several months had passed since the end of the Red War, and much of City life was beginning to return to normal. The two Guardians had been busy helping ferry supplies back and forth between the City and the Farm in the European Dead Zone, but were now simply taking some time for themselves.

"You and that bimbo Titan," Zillah said. "When I called her your girlfriend, you said it was only one date, but never said why."

Claney nearly choked on the tea he had been drinking. When he stopped sputtering, he managed to ask, "Bimbo?"

"It's an old word. It means-"

"I know what it means," he interrupted. "I'm just… surprised by the choice."

Zillah narrowed her glowing amber eyes and pursed her blue lips. "It's nicer than some other words I could have chosen."

"Well, thank you for being nice," Claney said, a small chuckle escaping with the words.

"Hush," Zillah replied. "It's just… Well, I thought you and I… I thought there was something between us. Then seeing her throwing herself at you, I just… "

"You were jealous?" the Titan asked, eyebrows raised slightly in surprise.

"Maybe."

They fell silent for a moment then, for different reasons. Claney gave his head a little shake, as if in disbelief, while Zillah waited for the purple blush to disappear from her cheeks. She poked at some noodles with chopsticks, then looked back up at him. Claney was eating his noodles like they were pasta, sticking them with a fork and twirling. Heresy.

"So, are you going to answer the question?" she asked after a few bites.

Claney finished chewing the food in his mouth and swallowed. "Do you really want me to?"

"Yes," Zillah said. "You should know me well enough by now to know I wouldn't ask if I didn't want an answer."

"Well, Celeste and Astrid set it up, it wasn't exactly like I was looking to start anything. They felt like I was lonely and needed to meet someone. I tried to get out of it, I even went to Cayde to try to get them to leave me alone."

"I'm guessing that was a mistake."

"Definitely. So, anyway, they set it up and we went out. Participated in some Crimson Doubles matches. Had dinner. Walked around the City a bit. It was fun, we had a nice night."

"Oh," Zillah said, a disappointed note in her voice.

"And she's nice, by the way. Maybe a little over enthusiastic at times, but I wouldn't call her a bimbo."

"You're really going to take time to defend some other woman you went on a date with while you're out with me right now?" Zillah asked, arching a green eyebrow.

Claney held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Just saying. Anyway, that was it. Perfectly nice time, but there was just... something missing."

"What's that?"

"She wasn't the right person. I spent the whole time wishing she was someone else," he said, and gave her a meaningful look.

Zillah felt her face flush again. "Shut up. Stop looking at me."

Claney smiled and complied, turning his attention back to his dinner. A commotion off to their left a few moments later drew his gaze that way. Someone was taking on the Imperial Banquet dining challenge in the patio area. That always seemed to draw a bit of a crowd. The Titan watched as the wait staff came out with the trays, putting on a show of delivering the impressive meal.

"Sen always enjoyed those," he said absentmindedly.

"Who?"

"What?"

"You said something about someone enjoying something."

"Huh," Claney said, furrowing his brow. "Must have been thinking out loud. Sen, a Warlock on my old fireteam. She used to love taking on those food dares and eating contests. It was funny, because she was the tiniest little thing, but she could put away enough food to put most Titans to shame."

"I don't think you've ever mentioned her before," Zillah replied. "You've never told me much about any of them, actually."

"No, I don't guess I have," he said, his eyes darkening.

"I won't pry," Zillah said, reaching over and placing her hand on his.

He turned to her and offered a half smile. "No, it's okay. I don't mind. Sen died on the Moon, during the Great Disaster. She had been inexperienced, like me, though had much more natural talent for combat than I did. She used to tease me that I was a better singer than a fighter. If I left a gun out, she'd be sure to put notes on them sarcastically reminding me how to use them."

"I forgot you survived the Disaster," Zillah said. "I was newly revived and still stranded on Mars then."

"You're fortunate you missed it," Claney replied. "Three members of my team died there among the hundreds of other Guardians. Sen, Donvan, who was my mentor and the team leader, and then a Hunter named Sarai. Our other Hunter… died shortly after."

"That's five, counting you," Zillah noted. "Did you not have a full fireteam?"

Claney shook his head. "No, there was one other survivor, another Titan named Caelan-5. We tried to work together for a while after, but it was too hard. Too many memories. I haven't seen him since Twilight Gap."

"Oh," she said again, this time with empathy.

"Last I heard he was still doing well. Good man, good Guardian. I sometimes think about reaching out, maybe reminiscing about the good times, but… just never have.

"I do think about those times quite a bit, though. We usually kept to Guardian hangouts in the Tower. Sometimes the Last City, but always the places closest to the base of the Tower if we did. More often than not, it involved karaoke, and I was prodded into getting up to sing. The first few times, I hesitated. It was pretty embarrassing. After a while, though, the resistance to doing it was more of an act out of routine than any real unwillingness."

Claney smiled again, and he stared at nothing in particular, getting lost in memory. Zillah listened, enjoying the moment of openness and vulnerability from him.

"There was one time, just after we had returned from a patrol, Where we all went down to the Blustery Brew. It is a popular Titan hangout, and Donvan's favorite spot in the City, right at the base of the Tower. Real sturdy building, originally built as a shelter of some sort in the early days of the Last City, so if some of the rowdier elements of the crowd got carried away, you didn't have to worry about the roof falling on your head.

"They didn't have karaoke there every night, but when they did, it was something else. The most common 'performers' were drunken idiots who couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. It was not uncommon for the crowd to start booing and throwing bottles and other things, which was part of the fun.

"We'd been there a while that night, and a few people had already made fools of themselves. 'Slayers of harmony' Sarai called them. Sen started poking at me, telling me to, 'Show them how it's done'. I actually wasn't in the mood that day, but once Sarai and Orion joined in, I didn't have much choice.

"So I got up there, checked the songs they had available, and found the perfect choice. Hope for the Future. It's not a bad song, and kind of popular. The jukebox in the Hangar Bar in the Tower had it on regular rotation. Sen, however, hated it with a passion. I don't really know why, but it just drove her crazy. I selected the song, and just gave her a big smile. She realized what was coming before the first note started, and a look of horror appeared on her face.

"So, they're all sitting at the table. Caelan and Donvan had their backs to the stage, but were turned to watch, Sarai was sitting on Orion's lap, and they were both grinning because they realized it as well, and then Sen had her arms folded across her chest giving me a death glare. Then the song starts.

"When I got to the line, 'Heavenly lights surrounding you and I,' I pointed right at her, and Sen reached back, grabbed a bottle of something out of the hands of the person sitting behind her, and whipped it at me as fast as she could. I see it coming and get a Ward up just in time to stop the bottle. That prompted Sen to start booing, Sarai laughed so hard she slipped off of Orion's lap, and I just poured all the schmaltz and cheesiness I could into the rest of the song."

Zillah laughed a little at that. "I have a very hard time picturing that," she said.

"Which part?"

"You, cutting loose like that. It almost sounds like a different person."

"I guess I kind of was," Claney said. "After everything that happened… I was a very different person after the Moon."

"Sorry," Zillah apologized, squeezing his hand. "Guess I kind of ruined the moment."

"No, it's fine," Claney replied. "Uhm… where was I? Oh yeah. So, the next day Sen drags me back to the City and says I have to take on one of those challenges with her, that I 'owed it' to her after that. Ended up being a pretty effective revenge, as this particular challenge involved eating some very hot peppers without being able to take a drink."

"It sounds like you cared a good deal about her," Zillah commented.

"Yeah, but nothing romantic, if that's what you're thinking. She was like a sister to me. A really annoying sister," he laughed a little at that. "There hasn't been anyone like that until…"

He trailed off, looking at her again. He shifted the hand that she had squeezed, moving it upward against her palm, and the fingers slid together, interlocking. Zillah glanced down at their hands, and then back up at him.

"Really?" she questioned. "In all that time?"

"Really. Before, this life was too new, and it seemed we were under constant assault by the Fallen. After… well, after I had little interest in life at all, if I'm being completely honest. It really wasn't until I found Celeste that I let anyone close in any manner."

"Well then, I guess I'm really happy you found her," Zillah said. "And you can even tell her I said that."

"She'd never believe it," Claney said with a grin.

"No, probably not," the Warlock said with a little laugh. "I liked hearing your story. I'd be interested in hearing more sometime. That and getting you up on a stage somewhere to do some karaoke. I need to see that Claney with my own eyes."

"Well, I can agree to the stories," he replied, "but I make no promises about the karaoke."

"Oh, trust me," Zillah said with a smile, "I can be very very persuasive."

…

AN

Thanks to Aknamkanon and the guest for the kudos!

Thanks to AMW Riptide for the author favorite and the story follow and favorite!

I was reading Wendigo E17's story with the same title a little while back, and was inspired to take a look into more of Claney's past. I've talked about the fireteam before, mainly in regards to their death, but I thought seeing them all in a happier moment would be a nice story. It's also a slight look back at Claney and Zillah, checking on them between When the Sun Winds Down and Dust to Dust and Memory, seeing some moments we haven't seen before, which gives the title double meaning, given where they currently are in Dust and the last Tales entry.

The Modern Emperor first appeared in my Destober story "Wandering Comfortless Streets". The Blustery Brew is an actual location from the lore. It was referenced in a Titan mark in D1, The Mark of Bluster.

So, this collection of shorts is always my most popular, most read stories every month and everywhere I post. I'd be very interested to hear which one is your favorite.