Aziraphale hummed cheerfully to himself as he decorated his storefront for Christmas. He placed wax candles in each window pane to cast a welcoming glow against the frozen world outside, and hung a beautifully made wreath of evergreen and holly sprigs on his door. Even somewhere hidden in the shop lurked a knot of mistletoe to surprise any unsuspecting or even unlikely couples.

Aziraphale loved Christmas in European culture. The food, the decorations, the lovely trees glittering with little lights, and people being especially kind to each other for no reason other than it was 'in the Holiday Spirit' to do so. It gave him very little work to do locally, as of course it was his duty to encourage humans to love and be kind to each other, and most importantly to thwart evil wherever it sprang out from. But, Aziraphale thought, the humans were doing a rather good job of being good, and so he had not a care in the world to disturb him from his cocoa and his books until the bell on his shop door clattered violently and a harsh gust of snowy wind blew out the flames of his candles.

"Ugh!" Crowley spat, pacing around the shop, arms folded haughtily across his chest. "Ngk!"

"Anthony?" Aziraphale asked, entering the front of the shop. "What's wrong?

Crowley paced around a moment longer before answering.

"Stupid!" Crowley grumbled loudly. "Bloody singing, and decorations, and community dinners, and gifts and trees and mountains of food!"

"Oh, I'd forgotten how much you hate Christmas," Aziraphale said, relieved that there wasn't anything wrong.

"Hate Christmas?" Crowley laughed dryly. "No, no, no, Angel. I despise Christmas. I loathe Christmas. If Christmas was a person, I'd rip off his fingernails one by one and—"

Aziraphale tuned out the graphic details of Crowley's contempt and re-lit the candles while Crowley spoke.

"Well, if you hate Christmas so much, dear, you're welcome to not spend the evening with me enjoying scrumptious food made by extremely talented chefs."

Crowley tore at his hair in exasperation.

"I can't believe you celebrate this shit holiday!" he screeched. "What kind of an Angel are you?!"

"Not a very good one, I suppose. If I were I'd have sent you back to Hell where you belong thousands of years ago. And instead I allowed you with your snakelike ways to charm me into a partnership."

"I'm serious, Aziraphale!" Crowley growled.

A man entered the shop and before he got both feet inside Crowley turned to him and snapped,

"We're closed!"

The man froze. "But the sign said-"

"GET OUT!" Crowley screamed, his head transforming just for a moment into that of a monstrous serpent. The man fled, screaming hysterically.

Aziraphale put his cocoa mug down. This was serious. Crowley hated turning into a snake, especially to frighten humans. He only did it if it was absolutely necessary or if he was provoked.

"Anthony, what's going on with you?" Aziraphale asked gently. "You're more of a Scrooge than usual…Why?"

Crowley collapsed into a nearby chair and threw his head back and sighed the very weary sigh of a very weary demon.

"I'm just sick and tired of all of it, year in and year out," Crowley said finally. "Christmas is the biggest lie I've ever heard! Father Christmas a farse. People are only being nice to each other because they want presents. And these big box businesses are the cause of all this greed and ugliness. Good will to Men my ass. And then, its all in the name of Jesus Christ, and it's not even his actual fucking birthday!"

Ah. So that's what this was all about.

"Well, those are all very true," Aziraphale conceded, "I know you're not a…er, conventional demon, Anthony, but, shouldn't you be at least a little bit happy about all the greed and lying?"

""S'not really my kind of sins," Crowley said with a grumpy frown. "Real sinning is no fun, you know that. I just like to mess with people, make 'em a little riled up. Nothing serious. Besides, my primary concern is stopping you from stopping me, and obviously because of The Arrangement—"

"Ssshhh!" Aziraphale hissed, looking wildly around to see if anyone had heard.

"Well, you know what I mean, then, don't you?" Crowley said irritatedly. "It's all absolute rubbish. And you should think so too!"

Aziraphale pulled up a chair beside Crowley and miracle him a drink.

"Cocoa?"

"No," Crowley said miserably.

"It's got rum in it," Aziraphale said coaxingly.

Crowley raised an eyebrow at Aziraphale but accepted the mug.

"Tell me about him," Aziraphale said softly, peering at Crowley with sadness in his eyes.

Crowley took a long gulp of spiked cocoa before speaking.

"He was really the first kid I got to know," Crowley began…