Before we begin, there's a quick disclaimer I'd like to put in place. I do not, in any way, shape or form own, or claim ownership of anything within the franchise(s) written and owned by Kamachi Kazuma, and by ASCII Mediaworks. This piece is a non-profit fan-made love letter to the wonderful Toaru Majutsu no Index series; though it brings joy to myself and hopefully to those who read it, this piece will generate no gain, monetary or otherwise, for me in any way, shape or form. Toaru Majutsu no Index is written and owned by Kamachi Kazuma, and illustrated by Haimura Kiyotaka. Toaru Kagaku no Railgun is written and owned by Kamachi Kazuma, and illustrated by Fuyukawa Motoi. Toaru Kagaku no Accelerator is written and owned by Kamachi Kazuma, featuring illustrations by Yamaji Arata.
Foreword: This piece was originally written in 04/29/2017. An effort to step out of the comfort zone I'd created for myself while writing 'A Certain Strange Scenario' and 'Times Change' which I'd felt (perhaps rightly) was causing me to stagnate as an artist, I didn't end up particularly like where this piece was going, narratively. I jumped into it without much forethought, and simply went nuts with ideas, throwing them at the proverbial wall and running with that which stuck.
'The Saint and the Keeper' was presumed lost until very recently when, along with another older fanwork I'd been penning, I found it backed up on a rather dusty, forgotten flash drive that I discovered while cleaning up my writing desk.
For the record, I do not intend to continue writing this piece where I'd left off, or otherwise rebooting it. I'm simply publishing it here on the archive for the sake of preservation, and with the hope that you, my lovely readers, will find it amusing or otherwise entertaining.
As always, all input, especially constructive criticism is welcome and encouraged!
Friday, July 1st, 2006. 5:56 PM.
The Kamijou Residence, Academy City, Japan.
Click, click.
Both of the sink's faucets were effortlessly turned off, all the way, in order to ensure that every expense possible, including water usage, was kept to an absolute minimum.
Having emerged from the bathroom of her keeper's dorm, Index, the girl who had memorized well over one hundred thousand Grimoires found her keeper, the boy who'd sought to fight for her, the boy who'd taken her in, and offered her room and board, without so much as a singular demand for any sort of compensation, seemingly in a state of concern.
Index likely knew the boy even better than he knew himself.
Oddly, aside from the facial expression etched upon his features, her long-time companion seemed to otherwise find himself in a normal state of being. With a baby blue shirt, surprisingly tight, and, more than likely unintentionally highlighting his chiseled frame, that not of a boy, but of an eighteen-year-old man, Kamijou Touma wore a simplistic pair of beige khakis, topped (bottomed?) with plain, white-toned socks.
Was it the potential cutting-off of his stipends? Was it the possibility that he, Index, and the tiny, fifteen centimetre tall girl, the once-Majin, Othinus were going to end up, suddenly, being given a notice, some mere two weeks ahead of time, that Touma was going to be forcibly evicted from his dormitory?
Despite all of his young life's tribulations, Kamijou Touma's days in high school had been beyond secure; everything in his life had simply been handed to him.
Having graduated from high school, everything that Academy City had provided the boy with would, inevitably, be ripped out from under him, unceremoniously, and without mercy.
Approaching, sock-clad feet slapping against the hardwood flooring of the Kamijou residence, the little, silver-haired nun passed by the packed bookshelf, and, nearing her shuddering keeper and protector, took to his side, looking up to him.
His facial expression was one of abject horror.
It had to be something truly nasty.
Still, Index had to consider alternative possibilities, and not immediately catrasophize; though she'd long ago come to realize that Kamijou Touma's constant run-ins with dangers, inconveniences and general bouts of misfortune were as commonplace as his need to inhale oxygenized air, there was still something greatly unsettling about the boy's expression.
He looked as if he was about to vomit.
"Tou-ma, what's the matter? What's wrong? You can tell me. As your confidant and as a sister, I'm bound to…"
"I-Index… I-I t-think I'm g-going to die. This lowly Kamijou-san is finished! Why couldn't I have died in high school?! It would've saved me from having to do work, such MISFORTUNE!"
Without another word between them, the little nun quickly snatched the boy's phone, effectively robbing him. Clasping it with caution in either of her hands, Index turned her gaze to the device's screen, light green-colored eyes focusing on the black-toned Japanese characters, layered atop a bright, yellow bubble, an incoming, delivered text message.
"Oi, Kami-yan, what it do? I would've come over to see you, but, ever since… you know… things have been hectic for me. Hell of a time for old Franny, too, but we're surviving. Oh, yeah, by the way, Maika-chan is doing great, thanks for asking. Also, don't worry yourself about the City. They've got some sort of… AI or something in charge, now, running everything, so, let that go. You're a real worrywart these days, you know?
Anyway, you get yourself into university yet? You'd better find yourself a good job, or that nun is going to eat you out of house and home. They cut your stipend off? They cut mine just before summer vacation started, but, I think we both know the real reason why. This Tsuchimikado-san's existence has been rough, lately!
"Sorry. Got off topic. Hard to keep my thoughts collected these days. What I meant to tell you is this: remember the playdate you had set up with nee-chin? Because you probably don't, I'll enlighten you. Originally, I had this whole plan built up, involving an intricate web of lies and deceit, lying to your face about bad dudes being out to try and get Index. I mean, it would've worked; Academy City's internal and external securities in the dumps, because of you-know-what, nasty magicians could hypothetically see this as the green light to try and get their hands on her, and, more importantly, her Grimoires.
Basically I was beaten into telling you the truth, Kami-yan. Long story made less long, whether or not you remembered or prepared, you're getting a visitor. Kanzaki nee-chin is coming to stay with you, and it's not in order to help keep Index safe from these bad dudes who don't actually exist. She wants to see you and, everyone and their grandmother knows you want to see her. You treat her good, now, Kami-yan! No bad touch! Expect her by the early evening hours, t'nite. Didn't mean to spring this on you last minute except I completely did, we both know how forgetful you can be.
Take it easy.
Tsuchimikado"
Tilting her head to one side, Index passed the cellular device back to its owner, who, as if the device was a flaming, charring ember, tossed it away, allowing it to fall to the hardwood flooring beneath him.
"Kaori is coming to stay with us? I don't think that's a bad thing, Touma," Index remarked. "She's nice, nicer than a lot of the other girls you know, especially that loudmouth short-hair. If we need food, we can take from the food-banks the City set up, at least until you find a job, right? S-sorry… I w-wish I got paid more."
Kamijou Touma's left hand found itself placed upon the corresponding shoulder of the little, silver-haired nun. Instinctively, his right hand had been forced to remain at his side, far, far away from the fully functional Walking Church which Index had some time prior been supplied with, courtesy of both Stiyl Magnus and Saint Kanzaki Kaori.
"Index… she's… a girl… and… I'm a guy. I'm eighteen, she's twenty! She's… ho- attractive! This is going to be a living Hell! I'm pretty sure I already explained the badgers and the business to you!"
"It won't be worse than anything you've already suffered through, human," Othinus chimed from her place upon the Kamijou residence's couch.
"Okay, yeah, I can agree with that, Othi-chan," the Imagine Breaker's Bearer admitted, "It's going to be… like… you remember, in the old cartoons?"
Touma looked, from right to left, to the little, silver-haired nun, and then to the fifteen centimeter tall former Magic God, Othinus, seated upon the residence's couch, with her left leg crossed elegantly over her right, as if she was posing for a photo shoot that was never going to happen.
"The horse having a carrot dangled in front of him? I'm the horse! This is going to be one huge, massive cocktease! Morning wood sucks enough as it is! GAH!"
For a moment, as he observed the little nun, following the conclusion of his miniature rant, his expression of sorrow and his cry of agony, a chill traversed Touma's spine, running upwards and downwards, causing several shudders to travel throughout his body.
Etched upon Index's facial features was an almost sinister grin. Her singular, right eyebrow was cocked, raised upwards, while her left eyebrow remained sunken.
"Maybe, Touma, this is going to be exactly what you need…"
"WHAT, INDEX, don't be so cryptic! That legitimately unnerved me, okay? P-please d-don't do that again. I'm begging you. P-please don't."
It was then that Kamijou Touma realized that he very well might've been keeping Index from her very important, and, more importantly, very time-based duties.
Clad in a simple, if bright, orange-toned polo shirt, the sleeves of which were a dark shade of brown, and long, baggy slacks, which were of identical coloration to her shirt's sleeves. There was a small, plastic tag affixed to the upper right corner of her top, held in place by a small, metallic pin, which pierced the fabric.
"Index" the tag read, in simple Japanese characters.
"Well, I'm off," the little nun remarked, as if she'd read her guardian and 'keeper's' mind, "see you tomorrow evening! I've got a date with the deli isle at ULTRAMARKET. Oh, and a paycheck, too. Oh, and your dinner's still in the oven, I think… I-it might be burned. Just kind of…"
Index sniffed the air, as she rose up upon her toes; as if she was searching out, seeking the scent of some creature, an instance of a prey animal, her nostrils repeatedly spread and retracted.
"Smelled it now, didn't waft into the laundry room, or the bathroom. Maybe you can still enjoy it? Burnt food is still food! There are orphans in other countries, like North Vietnam, who would do anything to eat a meal, burnt or otherwise! Okay, bye, Touma!"
"B-bye, Index… s-such misfortune. Have a good shift."
As Kamijou Touma hung his head, cussing under his breath, as he perpetually gazed down at his limp right hand, Index patted her keeper on the shoulder, before she slipped on her loafers, and left the Kamijou Residence, closing the door with an audible 'thud' behind her.
It was once silence had descended upon the Kamijou Residence that the tiny, former Magic God spoke her piece; standing upon the couch, she placed either of her hands upon her hips, like a particularly spunky authoritarian addressing an invisible audience.
"Human," she began, "maybe you'd like to talk about your predicament, whatever predicament that might be. As usual, I find myself out of the loop. Allow me, if you would, to take a wild guess; girl troubles?"
"Everything troubles," Touma grumbled; he threw himself backward onto the couch. By extension, along came his body's full weight, approximately two hundred and eighty pounds, a weight which mixed well with his height of six foot three, there was, to say the absolute least, quite a considerable amount of man, more than enough to cause Othinus to stumble, trip over her own bare feet, and fall onto the surface of the couch's cushion.
"I'll ignore that, you oaf," the former Magic God remarked, "and coach you once more. Yes, we're going to find a perfectly fine place to live. Yes, the nun won't have a problem moving in; after all, she's officially a resident of Academy City, now. There would hardly be a cause for concern to be found in such a situation. No, the nun's cat won't find itself being served in an authentic Chinese restaurant, much to my dismay. Feeling better?"
With a shrug of admittance, Kamijou Touma lurched forward, as if he was about to profusely upchuck the contents of his lunch.
At this rate, his burnt dinner could stay in the oven. Index would probably eat it without so much as a single complaint, a thought completely unrelated to her overall development, not only as a woman, but as a person, especially on a level of understanding and tolerance towards him, Kamijou Touma, especially.
"Tsuchimikado was almost able to be typical Tsuchimikado. He was going to straight-up lie about something pretty serious, like, there being "bad dudes" looking to get Index," Touma elaborated, briefly. "I guess that's not really the surprising part. What's more surprising is that… uh… I must've made a plan with a girl that I don't remember making, so, a… a girl's coming. Here, because she wants to… uh. See, me, apparently. A girl… an attractive girl, I'm a guy. I… want things. You know? Apparently it's too late to try and protest. Does that sound rude? I think that sounds rude."
"Of course I know, human," Othinus parlayed, nonchalantly. Settling herself back into her seat, the former Magic God folded either of her legs beneath her, and sat her tiny rump upon the soles of her feet. "Is it the Saint? I do recall you fretting to us about her."
"How'd you guess?"
"I know these things, oh how I know these things. Your ways are nothing if so many pages of an open book to me."
"Right back at you."
"Your previous instances of spluttering while in her presence, especially 'then', last year, would suggest that you hold feelings for the Saint."
"Maybe, Othi-chan, maybe you're not entirely incorrect."
"Her own dillydallying would suggest that she would eagerly return such feelings."
"Could be, I'm not going to try and deny it."
"I see no barricades, here. If anything, it would seem that an opportunity is being provided to you. Human, truthfully, you ought to take it."
"I don't know about that. I don't know if I'm going to have time. I need to get into a university… somehow, with these shitty grades. I want an actual education, an actual career, not just a job, right?"
"A noble pursuit, yet, you steer away from the subject of our exchange. Some might begin to speculate on the supposed 'truth' regarding your sexuality."
"By 'some' you mean Aogami and Tsuchimikado."
"Yes."
Suddenly, as soon as it began, their rapid fire exchange of statement and response came to a close, as a blanket of silence was thrown over the two former conversational partners.
"Well," the residency's 'master' began, rising awkwardly from the couch, like some lumbering giant escaping the throes of a particularly deep-set sleep beneath the Earth's crust, "I'll… err… get things ready, I guess. Othi-chan, this is really nerve-wracking, aside from you and Index, I've never had a girl in here before, not for… a long… time. I d-don't feel that way about Index, and… well… between us, there's a bit of a size gap."
"I'm flattered," Othinus sarcastically retorted, tossing her head back; as a result, her golden hair was flung backward, forcibly rising into the air before it inevitably fell back, brushing against the doll-sized blouse she wore, pulled downward by gravity's laws. "Sarcasm aside, I believe you're outright being given a chance, with the spy as a matchmaker. I'd advise you to try your best to see what you can do about getting hitched."
"What is with you two and trying to help me get… laid…?!"
As if it was the simplest thing in the world, Othinus shook her head, like she was disciplining a wayward child.
"Would you like the only female company in your limited span of life to consist of a female who can fit in the palm of your hand, and a strange, anime-obsessed, virginal nun? I'd argue that dying alone would be more dignified."
That seemed to stop Kamijou Touma in his tracks, on his way toward the dorm's kitchen area; a small, sectioned-off room, separated from the living quarters by a thin wall, complete with a small, rectangular section carved out, permitting direct communication between those in the living quarters, and those in the kitchen area. He utterly came to a halt, for a moment, before he seemed to buck up.
Tilting his head back, the Imagine Breaker's Bearer rolled either of his shoulders, as he produced a low-pitched sigh, one born more of frustration than of defeat.
"You're right, just like always, Othi-chan."
"Admit it to me."
"Admit what?"
"Your feelings for the Saint are obviously reciprocated, based on previous and recent interactions between the two of you. This is clearly a set-up. The Saint, shy as she is, chose to utilize the spy as a means of establishing contact, and setting up a situation in which the two of you can interact."
"Yeah, okay, there might be a thing. What am I even supposed to do about it, Othi-chan? I have literally nothing to offer her. Index is the only reason we even have food."
It was the former Magic God's turn to produce a drawn-out sigh.
"I'll let you figure it out for yourself… your admittance alone is what I sought. Self-awareness, here, will prove interesting as a source of amusement for me… I mean, for you."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"It's what I'm here for, human. Also… you genitalia is currently in a state of erection. You might want to take care of that before the Saint arrives."
"Such misfortune! Just KILL me!"
Friday, July 1st, 2006. 6:20 PM.
British Airways Flight 33, International Waters, Japanese Airspace Near.
With her Shichiten Shichitou forcibly crammed into the form of a harmless, if surprisingly fashionable handbag, through the use of Necessarius transmutation magic, Kanzaki Kaori, otherwise known to those who were bound to meet with her wrath as Salvare000 was in a state of outright panic.
Thud, thud, thud.
Repeatedly, over and over her heart crashed, quickly and viciously pumping blood throughout the web of veins winding and weaving throughout her body, a web which certainly felt like it was very much tangled.
Her stomach felt as if it was sinking, perpetually, downwards, slinking lower and lower within her body; moreover, it felt like it had violent twisted itself over multiple times, tying itself into a series of knots.
Kanzaki Kaori couldn't quite get him out of her head. His chiseled form, his broad shoulders, his developing, yet, so very impressive and so very attractive musculature, that goofy, spiky hair he could somehow make work, a hairstyle that would've made anyone else look like some kind of idiot.
For a moment, Kaori considered just what could've been lurking, unseen, beyond her eyes' vision, beneath his shirt. Did he have abs? Did he have defined, muscular elements to his upper body? She, the pure Saint found herself shaking at the very thought of seeing that boy without a shirt on.
"Hey, nee-chin, are you with me? Are you in there? I need you to keep it together. Geez, coaching you is a quest in and of itself. NEE-CHIN!"
Held in the pocket upon the right side of her denim jacket was a small, barely-noticeable piece of paper; vaguely circular, and thin, as if it had simply been 'crafted' from a sheet of paper one might've found stacked within an office printer, it, in fact, allowed a means of two-way communicate between individuals, magic brought into existence through the use of runic scribbling upon either side of the paper's surfaces. Necessarius' use of magic was, as ever, innocuous-seeming.
"Perhaps I'm being too forceful… m-maybe I should reconsider my options, take things… slower?"
"No, nee-chin, this is EXACTLY what Kami-yan needs! He needs a woman to take charge! I don't think I got around to asking, yet, did you pack the Erotic Fallen Angel?"
"Y-YES?! YES MAYBE I DID?! HOW DID I LET YOU PRESSURE ME INTO SHOVING… THAT… INTO MY LUGGAGE?!"
"Because you know it's the best way into Kami-yan's heart. Easily-flustered… good… perfect. Just blush for him, and put on one of those pouty faces of yours, and Kami-yan is going to be ravaging you in no time at all! You're a champ, nee-chin! You must lay claim to what is rightfully yours!"
"Ravaged"?! What does being "ravaged" entail?!"
"Oh, you'll find out, nee-chin. You'll find out."
Somehow, hearing the voice of another inside of her mind only helped to make it all the worse. Kaori's predicament, her sense of desire, her clear, ever-obvious want, that seemingly self-fuelled wanting, a perpetual, never-ending thing, seemed to only grow stronger.
In only, if her own calculations were correct, less than an hour, likely forty-five minutes, give or take a few minutes' time depending on circumstances that could've potentially made themselves known, she would soon find herself face to face with Kamijou Touma.
Kanzaki Kaori gulped. She didn't quite know whether or not the path she was walking, the goal she was pursuing was right, or correct, but, the matters of correctness or extremely subjective 'rightness' were both irrelevant.
This was precisely what she wanted.
Producing her small map of Academy City, printed out on a simple sheet of eight and a half, by eleven paper, something one could've easily found in any office setting, Kaori unfolded the crumpled thing, and looked downward, towards its surface.
Outlined, drawn in red, was a path, leading from Academy City's twenty-third school district, all the way to a small, red circle on the map, noted as "HERE BE KAMI-YAN". Individual street names, and relevant places of business, such as restaurants with public restrooms, hotels, motels, and, not to Kaori's surprise, love hotels were noted, identified by name.
Her path was clear, and, to a lesser extent, so was her mind. Bracing herself, the Saint took a series of long, deep breaths.
Friday, July 1st, 2006. 7:09 PM.
The Kamijou Residence, Academy City, Japan.
Everything was about as ready as it was ever going to be. Kamijou Touma, to the best of his ability (of which there was very little) had prepared the table in his dorm's living quarters with what little 'atmospheric' decorations he could.
He didn't find himself alone, in this task, however. Kamijou Touma had been smart enough to call for backup, and, to speak precisely, not just any backup. Touma had gone out of his way to call on the power of a girl who prided herself on her ability to take a messy situation, and turn it upside down, into a situation of cleanliness.
Adjusting two tall, slim wine glasses she'd brought along with her, as per her assistance, the maid girl, Tsuchimikado Maika loomed over her work, observing it, her lower lip curled, forming an etching of something of a pout upon her facial features. Clad in her blue, white-trimmed Ryouran Maid School uniform, complete with her small, frilly white headdress, Maika's short, dark hair had its fringe swept back as, always by her headdress.
With a jug of water nearby (water being the only 'appropriate, in Maika's words, beverage in the dorm), and numerous festive placemats which were, in fact, intended for usage during the Christmas holidays, given the fact that there were several images depicting bunches of mistletoe and bright, golden bells upon their darkened, green-toned surfaces placed about, one for each of the square-shaped table's four sides, Maika seemed to continually scrutinize her own efforts.
Before she turned to Kamijou Touma, she quickly adjusted the placement of the glasses once more, re-arranging them, and placing them across, directly, from one another. A nod of her head, and turned to the boy she did.
"You didn't give me much to work with, Kamijou-san," Maika remarked, much to Touma's dismay, "but, I think we've got something happening, here! It's minimalistic, but, I like it! I think your lady-friend will like it too. Speaking of which, I'm going to make myself scarce! If what my brother said is true, she should be arriving any moment. Bye, bye, Kamijou-san!"
"Thanks, Maika-chan," Touma acknowledged. Smiling and nodding her head in response, the maid girl quickly fled from the dorm, through the door from which she'd come some thirty minutes prior to her exit.
Kamijou Touma found himself alone with the fifteen centimeter tall, former Magic God once more. She looked at her 'jailer', the boy who'd been assigned by some of the most powerful human beings, politically speaking, to hold her hostage and, in a manner of speaking, pay her back for all she'd done.
Maybe, they saw being forced to exist as a being the size of a doll to be fitting punishment, bound forever in a shell no larger than a common housecat, based on height.
"Human," Othinus squeaked, as she crawled upon the couch's rightmost arm, reaching out towards her captor, who was some ten feet away from her; the former Magic God's fingers clawed at thin, oxygenized air. "Perform for me once more the exact series of steps you're going to perform, when the Saint shows herself. Speak your lines, as well. A greeting is everything."
There was a buzzing, produced by a small, mechanical fixture upon nearest the dorm's door, which lead out, into the dormitory's hallway.
Rushing toward it, Touma mindlessly pushed his index finger down upon the button beneath it, cutting short the repeated, harsh buzzing.
"This is all really sudden, way out of my usual pace. I think I might suffer a cardiac arrest," Touma retorted, semi-sarcastically. "Alright…"
He'd seemed to stammer, and seize up for only a moment, as Othinus looked on, seemingly unimpressed with the display of pseudo-cowardice.
Yet, somehow, in the span of some few mere moments, it came; knock, knock, knock. A series of knocks followed; one, two, three, and then a shaky series of follow-ups.
"Here… goes no… thing… OH GOOD GOD IT'S ALL FALLING APART HELP ME OTHI-CHAN!"
"Don't flub it now, human! This may be one mess you didn't directly get yourself into, but, you're going to find a way out of it! You need to!" the former Magic God snapped, leaping down from the couch's arm, and quickly pitter-pattering across the hardwood flooring, towards the dorm's laundry room. "Answer the door! Go! Godspeed! I'll be with the nun's accursed feline!"
"Tsuchimikado's probably laughing his ass off, right now… safe and sound, snug in England. Lucky… if he was next door, I'd beat his face in! Then again, I guess this IS my fault, for forgetting… can't let Kanzaki know I forgot. It'd totally destroy her."
With a deep inhalation of oxygenized air, Kamijou Touma moved for the door, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process; to him, it was a miracle that he hadn't found himself face-down on the floor.
Time seemed to slow around Touma, as panic set into place, grabbing at him, and, with its invisible hands, pulled him in every direction possible, humanly conceivable by the thinking mind.
His right hand fell upon the knob of the door, and, of its own accord, turned the knob to the right. Within, the automatic locking mechanism, held inside of the door, and interlinked with the inner walling of the dorm was unlocked, with a soft 'click'.
His right arm, with a yank, pulled open the door.
Before him, standing at least a head shorter than him, with much baggage cast over either her shoulders, held in place by her petite, feminine hands, was an individual, a female, a woman, to be frank, the farthest thing from a girl.
"H-hello… K-Kamijou-s-san…"