Q watched a while, wondering whether he should use this moment to bring up Joe's childhood flashbacks or if he should let his friend rest while he was able. He knew times like these were fleeting lately and he didn't want to make Joe uncomfortable in the few hours he knew he had left of feeling decent before the agony took over.
Nor did he want to force him to relive memories which were obviously traumatizing for him. He had all the trauma a person needed in life on his plate.
On the other hand, he felt it was necassary they talk about it, for many reasons, and that thought won out.
He walked over to his where his friend set and ran his hand gently over the soft fur of one of the old pups.
Smiling down at the dog he then moved his hand to Joe's shoulder before setting down beside him.
"Joey, I want to talk to you about something while you are feeling okay.".
Joe, who had been dozing on and off, stirred and grinned at him.
"What's up man?"
Brian thought about his decision again, seeing the blue eyes of his friend dancing with the old familar flame and lifeforce they were all so familar with. It was a sight they didn't get to see often these days and Q knew he was about to put out the fire in those eyes. But he continued nonetheless.
"You know the nausea medicine has side effects. We mentioned that to you, but we never discussed what has been happening when you take it. You cry Joey and you are afraid of us. You ask us not to hurt you and try to get away from us. It's as if you are in another time, when you were a child and being hurt. Can you tell me what happened, pal? So we can talk it out, maybe I can go kick some ass, and we get that behind you?".
Joe was looking down now, hugging his oldest dog to him.
"You can tell me Joey. Whatever or whoever it was, man. I just think if you talk about it, it will help you. Heck, maybe before all this shit you didn't even remember it,
but I know you do now and I know it's bearing on your mind."
Slowly Joe lifted his head and looked into Q's eyes.
"You know my dad was an alcoholic, obvoiusly. His step brother was also and sometimes when I was a kid he'd come get me and bring me to his house for the a while. Sometimes for the day, sometimes for the weekend, and sometimes he'd keep me a few days. I always told my mom and dad that I didn't 'want to go but they always thought it was because Uncle Ray didn't have kids and I'd have nobody to play with. But he"
Looking at his now shaking hands, Joe just shook his head.
Q knew who Joe was talking about. He saw Joe's uncle a few times when he was a teenager. A rough talking man who Joe always avoided. He always just told the other guys that his Uncle Ray wasn't a people person. Brian didn't really know him, but from the few times he ran into him, he knew he didn't care for him. Right now, he was afraid to ask Joe what happend because he was afraid of the answer. Afraid of the answer and what his own response to that answer would be. But he knew he had to do it.
Looking at his friends pale features and frail body, fire and fear shot through him at the same time. He reached over and took Joe's chin in his hand and gently lifted his friend's face so he could meet his gaze.
"Joey, what did he do to you, buddy? It's okay, just tell me. Please, so I can try to help you."
Joey's blue eyes filled with tears as they bore into Q's soulful brown ones. No words were spoken.
Q pulled him gently into a hug before speaking into thinning hair.
"Did he rape you, Joey?"
Heartbreak and rage hit Q'd chest like a jackhammer when he felt his friend's head nod against his chest. He was still trying to calm himself when Joe next spoke.
"He burned me, cut me, stuck all kinds of stuff inside of me. He told me he'd kill my mom and dad and sisters if I ever told anyone. So I just didn't. I'd beg and beg mom and dad not to make me go with him but of course they never understood why I didn't' want to go. So they always made me and he did that to me every single time"
Joe was crying openly now. Q was holding back his own tears and trying to compose himself for his friend's sake before pulling back and facing Joe again. Finally he felt he could control himself and gently leaned Joe back against the couch and looking him in the eyes.
"Okay, man. It's okay. If I ever see that bastard again I might go to prison. But for now, it's good you told me, now that you've talked about it maybe you won't have nightmares when you take the medicine."
Joe only nodded, his happy mood obviously displaced.
"He was always drunk, that's what made him do it Q. I don't know if he was a bad guy."
"Joey, your dad was always drunk too. He never hurt you like that. It never crossed his mind. Only evil or mentally sick people would ever think of doing anything like that to a little boy. Don't defend him, buddy. He's not worth it."
Again Joe nodded.
"I want to ask you not to tell Murr or Sal yet, but I know it's invetiable and they need to know. So when they get here tomorrow can you please help me?"
"You know I will, pal. This is just a stepping stone. No more nightmares. Then we'll beat this damn Cancer and we'll be back on the street acting stupid again in no time"