The forest was quiet. Leaves gently shimmered in the breeze as light filtered through the canopy up above. The Forest of Faron was peaceful. A home to many, teeming with life; animals of all kinds flocked here… or so they did, until recently.
Monsters of various shapes and sizes suddenly started to appear not long ago and started terrorizing the poor wildlife. Extremely hostile plants, weapon wielding mobs, giant brutes able to topple trees with one swing… it was nothing like Faron has ever seen.
And so, two of the monsters have located their latest prey; a strange, tiny creature known as Kikwi. As they stood there, confused (whether that's because of their, admittedly, lacking intelligence, or the relative lack of recipes on how to cook using Kikwis, is hard to say albeit the truth probably hovers around both), the captured being couldn't help but tremble in fear on the ground. Its meager defence of pretending to be a plant unfortunately did not have a chance of working even against the most dimwitted of the monsters.
However; it was in luck. The forest has seen more than just monsters arrive recently. Two Hylians, species not seen for ages have set foot upon the land, and one of them was just around the corner.
Spotting the frightened creature's predicament, the Hylian sprung into action. Taking advantage of the monsters' distracted...ness, he swiftly relieved them of their life with his blade and watched dispassionately as they exploded into smoke.
The Hylian was about to try comforting the small terrified being, when he heard a sound he's started to abhor. A pale blue spirit-like being appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and began to speak.
"Master Link, I have picked up an extremely interesting spike in dowsing readings from the creature you've just encountered."
That gave the Hylian pause. "That could actually be important", he thought.
"Zelda?" - he asked. Perhaps the creature could provide a hint as to what their friend was doing. Perhaps they'd know where they went…
"Master, I'm afraid it is unlikely that this creature is Zelda."
Ah. Of course. Just as it seemed the advice may've started to get useful.
"You don't say" – the boy spat sarcastically, ready to tune out whatever else the blue being had to say. Unfortunately, the spirit doubled down.
"Indeed. I indicate a 95% probability that this creature is, in fact, not Zelda." - it said, oblivious to its' "master's" growing ire. And said master has had enough.
"Oh, really? So, in fact, there's a 5% chance this thing IS actually Zelda!" - the Hylian suddenly exploded. "Well, then! Perhaps I should just lug it back to Skyloft. I mean, if there's even the slightest chance this is Zelda, we oughtn't let it slip by!" Putting on a wide mocking smile, they moved to pick the Kikwi up.
"Master, I do not think it wise to use up precious time…"
"Oh, no, no, no. Fi. I mean, who knows! Perhaps some sort of vile curse has affected her. We really should play it safe!"
"Master."
The Hylian, already bent down and struggling to lift the creature spun around.
"What."
"Your Wii Remote batteries are nearly depleted."
"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!"
Headmaster Gaepora was rarely stunned into silence. However, when his star pupil returned from a rescue mission in forgotten land, claiming his daughter has been turned into a sentient potato, there was little he could do, but gape.
"I'm not a Zelda, Kwee-koo!" - the bulbous being exclaimed in horror. "Return me home at once!"
"Ah, well, she's just a tad confused. That must be it." - Link said, knowingly. "Afterall, the goddess' own aide said she was nearly certain." The dreaded sound was quick to follow.
"Master, there is a 100% probability that you're mis-"
"See, there you have it! Upped the score to 100% even!" - the boy quickly spoke over the sword's spirit, grinning. "Now, I'm afraid I'm no expert in reversing transformations, so I shall leave that to your discretion…"
That was when the venerable headmaster found his words.
"Link, I must say, I doubt your companions' words" – he said sagely – "Whatever this creature is, I do not believe it could be Zelda. I believe I would know if it were. I have my ways. You will have to return it to the surface."
Link fought very hard to hide that snort.
"That unfortunately leaves us with a problem. It seems, after years of sitting unused, Goddess's creation has begun to malfunction." - He looked sadly at Fi, shaking his head. - "I would not be comfortable letting you leave with it in that state. Perhaps we should consider to aid you in a different way."
Internally, Link was celebrating. Yes! No more pointless trivia! No more useless statistics! He swore the next time he was reminded of recalibrating and dowsing, he'd find a way to hurt sword-bound ghosts if it ended him.
"If that is what Master desires… " - said Fi, plunging back into her steely home. Gaepora nodded.
"There is a prophecy… One I did not think applied to our times, but perhaps I was mistaken… It speaks of a Hero aided by a fairy… "
With this, he turned to his shelves and dug out a dusty-looking jar full of balls of light. Link looked at him inquisitively.
"Ah, forgive me." - the old headmaster leaned forward. "I keep a few handy just in case. I'm getting on in years, you see…" - he whispered conspiratorially. "Now then, which one of you would be willing to aid my student in need?" - he addressed the glass container.
The fairies suddenly stilled. All except one, which started to bounce around the glass like mad.
"Me, me, me, me, pick me!" - a muffled sound emanated from the bottle. Gaepora undid the seal and released the excited fairy. It fluttered happily toward Link.
"Hello! My name's Oblivia! Nice to meet you! How are you? Where are we going? Are we gonna ride a bird? I love seeing people ride birds! Can we… "
"Uh…" - Link stared agape – "Are you sure about this?" - he addressed his old teacher.
"The ancient texts don't lie." - the headmaster smiled, though said smile seemed a bit strained.
"A… alright. I guess I'll… just go, then."
Nodding, he turned around. He gestured at the Kikwi to follow and was about to reach for the doorknob when… "
"Open doors by standing in front of them and pressing A!"
Link whirled.
"Right, that's it. Is there a plan C?"