"Jaaaaay." Steph whispered loudly. He groaned and rolled over, at the same time as he grabbed a pillow and thrust it blindly in his approximation of where her face was so.
The muffled grunt and a soft thump heralded the fact that he'd succeeded in knocking her to the floor. It got him a second of quiet before she chuckled and the bed dipped with her weight again.
"Jason." She whispered again, and this time took to poking his face with one calloused fingertip, that he could have ignored, and even if he didn't it bordered making it easier to slip back into sleep and keeping him up. Then, his lack of action apparently 'not' having the same effect on her, she gently pinched the flesh of his cheek and started gently tugging on his face. "Are you gonna wake up now?"
"No." Short another pillow to toss at her, Jason pulled his head away from her and buried it under the blankets piled up beside him. He'd slept well for the first time in what felt like years, and he wasn't in any hurry to wake up all the way yet, maybe not ever, her series of annoyed and increasingly over the top huffs be damned.
Eventually, her huffs not having the intended effect, she flopped herself lengthways across him, resting her folded arms over his shoulders and propping her head on them. She snaked her hand over him, reaching for ends of the blankets. He didn't realize what she was doing fast enough and she was able to yank them away.
"Stephanie." Jason was too tired to put much effort into his glare, at the face resting on his, only inches away from his. So close, it warped her features and made her look almost bug-like, if he were more awake, he was actually more likely to laugh at her than improve his glare. "What is it now?" he mumbled, deciding to risk the question on the tiny percentage of a chance it would get him more sleep instead of less.
"Grouchy, 'just woke up Jason' is adorable." She said, right before tapping the end of his nose with her finger. "Boop."
Jason groaned, ignoring the warmth that spread through his chest, and batted her hand away as he turned over again, this time fast enough to throw her off both him and the narrow bed as he pulled up the blankets again. It had been a while since he's actually slept under so many, and it was a lot more comfortable than he remembers.
From where she'd fallen on to the ground, she chuckled again. She didn't get back on the bed, but he could still feel her head hovering over his face. "Jay, I'm gonna draw on your face again."
"I don't care." Jason put a pleading tremor into his voice and cracked open one eye to look up at her. "I'll let you fucking draw a full body Nightwing costume on me, just please let me sleep."
"Aww." She curled up next to him on the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck, tucking his head under her chin. "You want me to sing you a lullaby?"
Jason's face warmed, his body tensed, but when her hand started running through his hair he sighed and brought up one of his arms to rest over hers, his hand curling around to feel the pulse at her wrist. He drifted easily back into a light doze as he listened to the soft breaths that brushed against his ear. Two fucking seconds before the light scrapping of her fingernails against his scalp would have lulled him into a deeper sleep and she just had to laugh and tug on his cheek again.
With a huff, Jason reached up and tugged at the soft flesh of her cheek in retaliation. "What?"
"Nothing." Her voice was soft and she tugged at his hair, her eyes looking distantly past him. "I just, really wish they could have seen you like this."
"Trust me, they've seen me seconds from murder plenty enough." Stephanie tugged sharply on his hair and Jason winced. "Ouch."
"You're not scary when you're tired." She pressed her lips to his hairline and went back to cuddling his head.
Approximately three dozen gangbangers would have strongly disagreed with that, but there were hands carding through his hair again, so Jason relaxed into her touch and didn't bring them up.
"Jay?"
Jason bit back another groan and looked up at her again, giving up on getting any more sleep.
"What happens now?" She bit down on her lower lip.
"Breakfast?" He asked, regretting pulling away from her to sit up as soon as he did. "We got spam and peanut butter." He spied the edge of one of his boots peaking out around the corner of the bed and reached for it. "Or I can risk a food run." His stitches were out, and as long as it was within his side of town, he was mostly confident in his ability to evade Oracle's 'Big Brother' network again.
"No I mean." She sat up too, pulled her legs out from under her and tossed her hair over her shoulder with a short sigh. "What happens to you and me, after this is all over? To, y'know, us?"
Jason swallowed, his hand pausing halfway to the boot. A big part of him wanted to brush the topic off, push the whole conversation off as far as he could. He hadn't wanted to think about it, in the moments when they were quiet and it had encroached on his thoughts, let alone talk about it.
Jason drew his hand back to himself and straightened up, planting his feet firmly in the ground in the hopes the stability would do 'something' for the turning over in his gut. "Can't exactly hide out in a bomb shelter forever, huh?" He licked his lips and took in a breath. "After we clean up in Gotham Talia…" he noticed the way Stephanie stilled at the name, the way she always did and Jason hadn't put much thought into before. "She wants me to join up with her new Society, 't's kind of a life contract, but the benefits make up for the no quit policy."
"You wanna join Talia's new 'cult'?" Stephanie blinked once, her hands clenching around fistfuls of fabric in front of her, a dangerous edge to her voice. "Her Society of 'Supervillains', like, the society that she sent after the Commissioner?" A spark lit suddenly behind her wide eyes and they narrowed. "What did you tell her to make her call them off? He said you were yelling at someone on the phone, what…"
"Nothing." Jason waved dismisively before he realized her worry was genuine and the hand paused, torn between reaching for her and pulling away, and so settled for hovering awkwardly between them. "Fuck." He'd really just made it obvious that he'd be there until either the bats showed up or he'd killed all of her men. The real reason she'd pulled off was likely that him getting arrested again would just have given her more work in erasing the 'last' time he'd been arrested than leaving one loose string."She's not…" he laughed softly, tried to make it sound genuine. "Blackmailing me, Steph. I've done work for her before, stakes'd just be a little higher."
"And if she gives you a job you don't wanna do?" Her face crumpled briefly before she looked around the room, her eyes settling on the duffle bag she must have seen before that. "You 'know' how those things work, you can't just walk away. You were already wearing that uniform when you got back. Did you already say yes?" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh god, if you try to leave, they send people after you. I can, and Kara's still gone, but…"
"Calm down." Jason rested his hands on her shoulders, made her look up at him. "Stephanie." He brushed his thumb along her jaw, not sure whether to be offended that she thought he couldn't handle himself, or give in to the oddly pleased feeling that came with her 'wanting' to help him. "God." He shook his head. "No one's coming after me, I haven't said 'yes' yet."
"Yet?" She turned her face in his hands.
"Yet." Jason repeated and sighed, turning away from her. "It's not like I'd be doin' much I wouldn't already, and it's not the 'Society of Supervillains'," he smiled at the idea Talia would take up 'that' corny name for her league splinter cell. "I don't need you to explain it to me I 'know' what I'm getting myself into."
"If you're gonna do them anyway, then why not just do them on your own!?"
"Because maybe I'm 'tired' of doing things on my own." Jason bit the words out and ran a hand through his hair, pushing some of the curls from his brow; he had to cut it, soon if he didn't want someone ripping it out in the middle of a fight. He really wished he'd gotten some more sleep before this, a few more minutes of dozing with her hands in his hair even, or her chuckles as she tried to get a reaction out of him with her frustrating poking."I do 'everything' alone, and I think my 'record of accomplishment' speaks for itself that it hasn't exactly made me any 'less' of a fuck up."
"You're not alone now." Her voice was almost even, the tremor of hurt lurking just deep enough for him to pick it up. "You're not alone here, with me; you don't have to do this." She chewed on her bottom lip. "I don't want you to get hurt doing something you don't have to do."
And no, he wasn't alone, never alone with her, even when he wished she'd leave him to rot alone in Arkham, when he's complained about her brightness instead of reveling in it, he hadn't felt alone, never when he was with her, but that was just the thing. He'd grown accustomed to having someone close, to lunches and movies and doing stupid shit that her presence made so much more fun than something five times as amusing could have been without her. To being looked at like he wasn't a monster, like there was something in him that was 'good' and 'desirable' and not just for the things he could do. That was exactly why he 'did' have to leave.
The closest he'd come to that since his return had been his multiversal escapade with Kyle and Donna, and that whole thing had just left him more fucked up that ever before. Pretending he could keep up with that, trying to make nice with his replacement Robin and thinking he could get something out of Bruce's message had made it worse.
"We can't stay in this bunker forever Stephanie." He repeated, his arm twitching to wrap around her and pull her closer, it stayed by his side, gripping the bed frame instead. "When I leave I'm back on every cape's shit list and you're still a hero, even without Batgirl," Jason's blood heated up just that much more at that little reminder. "You're a fucking 'superhero' and all I'm considering taking a job 'killing' people. Ya got choices I don't; I'm not stealing those too."
"And 'what' exactly do you think you're doing right now?" She asked standing from the bed to glare down at him, her arms crossed over her chest, her words jaggedly sharp to go with the uneven tempo of her breathing. "Jason I can't make you stay, but you don't get to pretend you're doing me some kind of favor by leaving me here, you're 'not' giving me 'choices' you're taking the only one I want." She jabbed a finger at his chest, her voice rising in volume. "You don't get to decide what's best for me, I'm not letting anyone do that anymore, and I'm sure as hell not gonna 'crawl' back to the Batcave on my fucking knees, you leaving won't 'fix' anything!"
"No, but you won't 'let' me do what would fix it!" Jason shot back, keeping himself seated through sheer force of will, he didn't want to stand up now, didn't want to loom over her. He wasn't expecting her to be passive, but then, when he'd actually started considering what he was going to do, he'd already thought he wouldn't have been seeing her again.
"By pretending to 'kidnap' people?!" She threw out her arms, her expression incredulous, traces of humor she'd sported when he'd made his suggestions starkly absent. "I'm not lying to them again!"
"Yeah cause telling the truth worked out 'so' fucking well for you before." Jason couldn't keep the spite from his voice, that things could have been so much easier if she hadn't done that. "They didn't need to know what happened, there were at least a dozen ways we coulda played it and they'd have never taken the cowl from you."
"How many of those ways had me never seeing you again?" Her fists were balled tightly tension rising in her shoulders. "Or them hunting you down like you're not even human any…!"
"I'll NEVER be human to them!" Jason didn't know he he'd leaped up until he did it his voice booming in the small room and sounding impossibly loud even to his own ears. "Watching you scribble on my face, or wake me up, or pull at my hair'll do fuck all to change that. At fucking most it'll get a mention in my case file that the rabid 'thing' didn't rip your fucking throat out!"
He was always a case, or videos they should have never see, or a side show in a cage… Those last seconds he'd seen them – the lines on Bruce's face when he'd thrown Jason's arm over his shoulder, how, how fucking 'easy' it would have been to… – they invaded his memory again, and he suddenly felt so deeply sick he might have actually thrown up if he'd had the chance to eat yet.
She'd backed up from him, away from him, her eyes wide, body coiled tight as a cobra ready to strike at him, practically vibrating with pent up energy. When his eyes met hers he expected fear, or anger, but all he caught was hurt and that was somehow so, so much worse.
Jason dropped back to the bed, the strings of his fury having been severed completely, leaving him with about as much strength as a dying sloth. He wanted to curl up and go back to sleep, or gather up his gear and lose himself in something that wasn't 'this', but if he left the bunker, or closed his eyes, then that was it, wasn't it? Things would be over just that much sooner, he didn't want them to be over yet.
"I'm sorry." He bent over to pick up the pillow he'd thrown at her just a little while ago, studied the soft fabric as he ran his hands over it. "I promised I'd help you till we solved this thing with the frenzy, maybe I can… Maybe 'we' can figure something else out by then." He looked up, caught her gaze with his hesitantly.
Her arms dropped limply to her sides, but rose again as she stepped forwards. Jason made himself keep still despite the burning behind his eyes when she reached for his neck, ran her hands along his shoulders.
"I don't wanna see you getting hurt like that again." She dropped onto his lap, the weight of her comforting even as a sob escaped her throat and he held her tight as he could, turning his face into her hair and breathing in, her scent grounding him. He didn't want to leave, more than anything else he didn't want to leave.
O
O
O
Steph hated it; she hated the whole thing, that Jason thought his only chance at keeping away from the Justice League was to basically sell himself to a cult. She hated that the bats had called in the Justice League to help track Jason down. Hated that Jason was right, that she couldn't come up with a better solution either. There was nothing that would have ended with him winding up anywhere but locked away somewhere else, and there wasn't a doubt she'd never see him again if that happened, she'd never know if they were putting something in his food again, or doing keeping him in virtual solitary twenty-four seven.
She hated that there was a part of her, a small, terrible, selfish part that almost wished they never found the Red Hood. Because if they never solved the case, then Jason couldn't leave, could he?
Jason's tall frame was practically bent in half over the little table not far off, not that anything was 'ever' far of in that little room, marking off points on some maps with a sharpie while Steph tried to dig up any new information on his laptop. She had a feeling he didn't 'like' that kind of work very much and the only thing keeping him from trying to go out and find info was because he 'couldn't' yet.
The laptop was a higher tier connection to the network he'd connected to via the tablet before he'd left Gotham, and Steph had been impressed with that thing. The stuff she could potentially find using the laptop was amazing, like, Tim might have shot himself in the foot for a peek amazing. Lists of active hitmen, open bounties, pages worth of upcoming dictators, big name cartel bosses, and the real people behind those bosses, it was the kind of info Steph would have never gotten full access to on the Batcomputer.
But unlike with the tablet, she couldn't work herself up to be excited about it, not now she knew where Jason had gotten it from and what it might have cost him.
It was him that disturbed the awkward silence that had descended so thickly over everything neat them. He dropped his hands on either side of the table, his cheeks puffing up while he let out a long breath of air.
"Forgot about breakfast." He straightened up, his back releasing a couple of popping sounds as he stretched out. "I'm gonna get something before archaeologists dig our starving fossils outta here, you got any requests?"
Steph almost asked if going out at all was a good idea, there were still cans of food in the bunker, but when she met his eyes, their look was so much less sure of himself than she was used to. Going with the good idea wasn't something either she or Jason were known for anyway. They were going to get cabin fever if they stayed in the bunker for very much longer.
"Yeah, wait up." Steph set the laptop aside and leapt to her feet, almost letting out a pleased moan when she stretched out the kinks in her own back. "I've gotta get some things too."
"With that leg?" He raised an eyebrow at her, his lips flattening into a thin line. "Sure you wanna risk getting a wooden one. Be cool of you were lookin' to get a pirate theme, but I'd probably eat your parrot."
"It's fine." It really was, her shoulder had been hurt worse than her leg, the latter had just been a little worse for wear because she'd sprinted up a million stairs on it waaaay before it was ready. Safe, sure, but accessible Jason's bunker was not.
Jason still frowned at her worriedly while lacing up the boots he had to collect from the opposite ends of the room they'd wound up in and she tightened the more practical straps on her sneakers.
"You're sure?" He asked over his shoulder as he typed out the strings of codes to open the heavy steel door, there was something in his voice that gave Steph the impression he wasn't just asking whether she was willing to grab lunch with him.
"Jay, I love you, but you put peanut butter on your spam, we're not at the point where I'll share a toothbrush with you." She made a point of stepping a little hard on her bad leg before she latched on to his arm, it hurt, it still hurt a little, but was nothing compared to how it had felt when she's first woken up in the bunker. "Can I borrow the huge green hoody?"
"Yeah." Jason turned his face abruptly aside, but didn't say anything else until they'd stepped off the elevator reached the stairs again and she had to remind him that he'd just taken his stitches out, so no; he couldn't carry her down them. She maybe regretted that choice a little by the time they reached the bottom.
The Coventry was the least on grid part of Gotham, and the very good reason for it being, because large parts of it were creaky warehouses and condemned apartment blocks, it also meant there really weren't many places they 'could' but any kind of food. There weren't even very many places they could buy food.
The good part however, was that it was real close to Gotham U. and by the time Jay and Steph got there, it was right after the lunch rush, leaving them with a veritable catalogue of food-trucks just hanging around the outskirts of the area. Finding one that had gotten a bad parking space, hidden from many customers, but also cameras than could have been hacked by Gotham's resident 'Big Brother' was a lot less stressful than Steph would have expected it to be.
Even with Jason being deliberately over the top and picky about the whole process – she knew for a fact he'd eat a dessert pizza, he put desert things on his regular pizza – or maybe it was actually because he was being deliberately over the top and picky. The walk back, through back alleys underground tunnels was still a relief. Especially once they were back in the 'bad' part of town – and wasn't that just the most comforting thought ever.
"D'ya ever worry about how much junkfood you eat?" Steph asked around a mouthful of chicken nuggets, coated in golden crumbs and tasting so much better than any food had a right to when she'd been eating cold tinned corn. The semi strict diet she was used to around the rest of the bats was non-existent for Jason, whose eating habits were about as healthy as that of the typical ramen munching college student.
"Nah." He balled up the wrapper for one burger and tossed it over his shoulder into a trash bin before fishing another out the plastic bag hanging off his arm with a snort. "'F I die it won't be from fucking cholesterol."
Steph shrugged and dipped another nugget into her small tub of sauce. "It's not just cholesterol Jason, but like, your heart rate and energy levels and sleep and…"
Jason snatched a nugget out of Steph's box and got himself a scowl that he accepted with a cheeky grin.
"You sound like… someone." He turned away and drank down half his can of soda, muttering something she couldn't make out.
"For someone who gets punched in the face so much, I'd have thought you'd be more worried about your bones, but fine." Steph huffed and, mentally noting her hypocrisy, sipped on her milkshake.
"Helmet." He rapped the side of her head lightly with his knuckles and chuckled when she yelped and ducked out of his reach, flailing her box of nuggets at him. "Sides I eat less junk when'm not busy." He happily bit into his burger. "Or lazy, or somewhere without a stove 'and' busy."
"Cause it's so much more work to chew and swallow the grilled chicken than the crispy bacon-beef special." She ducked her nuggets out of his reach.
"'F wanted grilled chicken, I'd make it myself." He pouted at her, or more accurately at her chicken nuggets.
"Now I'm trying to imagine you cooking, and it's hilarious." She covered the box with her hand, he'd had his own nuggets, and he'd finished them, she wasn't letting him finish hers too. "That how you close deals in underworld."
"Okay one, I am hurt, deeply, deeply hurt." He gave up on acquiring her food and took a big bite of his instead. "And offended at the assumption my personality isn't enough to close a deal. Two, I'd like to see you 'try' and find the fucking place that makes grilled chicken as well as I do." He shoved the last bit of burger into his mouth. "Fucking dare ya."
"Do you cover it with syrup and put it on waffles?" Steph asked scooping up some of the sauce at the bottom of the box with a nugget.
"Shit." Jason paused in finishing off his soda; it sent a rush of anxiety through Steph for a second. "Now I want chicken and waffles." He looked over his shoulder, back the way they'd come, "Think I can make it back 'f I'm careful," and Steph could have believed the guy who'd stolen a car from a drug cartel and sent it over a cliff 'for fun' would have done it too.
"No." Steph grabbed his arm and began pulling him with her the way they were already moving. "I've still gotta get a toothbrush, remember, and your soap makes my skin feel like sandpaper."
He looked ready to argue, but leaned in close to her instead and rubbed his head against her cheek; Steph let out a surprised yelp, but didn't pull away. "Softest sandpaper ever."
She tugged on his hair and snorted, turning her face away to hide the flare of heat on her cheeks. "You're a dork."
"Now I'm offended again." He huffed and cocked his head at an angle. "Store's that way."
Hiding out in a secret lead lined underground bunker the approximate size of shoebox was all well and good… right up until it became really clear that up to a point it really wasn't. Sure, there was enough food crammed into the surprising amount of storage space to wear out a small drought, but the bathroom – the approximate size of a matchbox, for reference – he'd stocked for only a single person.
While she was there, she wanted to get some other things that weren't so obviously military surplus – Steph wasn't sure there was anything in that bunker that wasn't – and consequently, didn't leave her skin feeling like the softest sandpaper ever. Not spoiled for choice, it didn't take her very long. The snacks she added to her load included a couple bags of skittles tossed on the counter with a flash of a smile at the cashier and a huff from Jason. She made a game of trying to make Jason eat some in the way back.
Much easier than it sounded, seeing as how she gave in and let him piggyback her up the stairs on the way back.
"Just one." She tried pushing the candy into his mouth as they ascended, with his twisting his head every which way in an attempt to avoid it.
"Blondie, I will drop you down these fucking stairs I swear." He said, the colorful streaks smeared all over his face from her previous attempts taking what little threat there was out of the statement.
"That fast, huh?" She bent over his shoulder to frown at him, registering that he'd actually called her that again and she couldn't remember the last time he'd done it or when exactly he'd stopped. "And we're back to Blondie." She popped the skittle in her own mouth instead.
"You're no less blond than you ever were." He shook his head at her and adjusted her weight on his back as he turned up another flight, but there was a smile tugging at his lips. "Proof you can get used to anything, huh?"
"Well you're no less of an asshole." She said mulishly and dropped her head on his shoulder, tightening the arms she had wrapped around him and considering jabbing him with her heel. "It's the lack of sugar." She got out another skittle and pressed it to his lips. "Eat."
"No." He nudged the hand away and glowered at her. "Apparently I have to watch what I eat, and those are 'bad' for you." He worked his jaw as he turned to look ahead and then mumbled, "Get stuck in your teeth."
Steph hummed, watching his face as they climbed up the last bit of stairs and the elevator that would take them aaall the way down came in sight. She narrowed her eyes at him and put another piece of candy in her mouth, getting a bemused eye roll when he caught the look out the corner of his eye.
"Jay." She said, just as he pressed the button to call the elevator. He turned and she leaned over his shoulder again, and this time gripping his jaw and pressing her lips against his, muffling whatever his reply would have been. He stopped moving almost immediately and leaned into the kiss. Steph's chest fluttered and she loosened the hold she had on his jaw; she almost forgot why she'd kissed him in the first place.
Then she remembered and passed the skittle in her mouth past his lips before she had to pull away for air.
Jason blinked at her, dazed for the few seconds it took for the elevator doors to slide open before he even noticed the candy, then his cheeks turned red and he let out a low growl. "Damnit Stephanie." He dropped her and stomped into the elevator.
She broke into laughter and kept at it while Jason scowled; his arms crossed petulantly over his chest the whole ride down, but dutifully swallowed the skittle.
"Yeah laugh now." He said, leaving the elevator for the dark hallway that lead to the bunker. "When I got no teeth you can. "See how funny it is when I use 'your' toothbrush to clean it out."
Steph chuckled again, and linked her arm in his as he moodily tapped on the keypad outside the door. "The sugar didn't help." She nuzzled her head against his chest and he straightened with a reluctant huff as the door slid open. It was smaller than she remembered after even the short time they'd been gone. Almost as small, Steph realized now that she actually thought about it, as his cell in Arkham.
If he didn't join Talia's Society, was the kind of place he'd have to stay all the time? She thought about the studio apartment he'd stayed in before, it had been on the small side too, but cozy and warm in a stark contrast to the bleak bunker, something beeping steadily from within.
She hesitated just a moment too long before she entered; still holding onto to him and Jason frowned down at her, a crease appearing between his eyebrows.
"If you go work for her, will I ever see you again?" She asked, softly and Jason sucked in a deep breath through his teeth.
"I d…" He rolled his shoulders, dislodging her light hold on his arm so he should step inside. "The search algorithms picked something up." He strode over to where Steph had left the laptop, the source of the beeping, and flipped the device open.
"Jason…" she stuffed her hands in the pockets of her borrowed hoody.
"Can't we talk about this later?" He kept his eyes fixed wholly on the screen as he tapped roughly at the keys.
"Like when you're gone again?" She swung her hand out in a chopping motion and he flinched, but didn't look up.
"Bastards got the GCPD to put an APB on Batgirl." He growled, something dangerous flashing behind his eyes, and flipped the laptop around to show her the GCPD order taking up the screen. "We'll talk when we've dealt with, okay?"
Stephanie's heart sank and she took the device from his hands disbelievingly so she could read it, hoping there was some kind of… of thing she'd missed, like some stupid kids making a stupid joke like the guys who'd made a 'Robin Wanted' add for Batman. There was nothing indicating this one was the work of some bored IT students.
She tried to wrap her head around the fact that the GCPD was on the hunt for Batgirl.