Five years earlier

It was 3 am. I was in that messy place of definitely not sober, but no longer really drunk and not quite feeling the hangover that was on its way. I had just enough wits to ask myself whether it would do any good to shower when I got back to my dorm, or whether it would be better to just pass out and worry about cleaning up after a night sweating out the alcohol.

A condom wrapper fell out of my pocket as I pulled out my keys. I squinted at it and thought about how unpleasant it would be to smell the sweat, perfume and sex of the random girl I had just fucked in the morning, along with my own personal stench.

A shower before passing out then, I thought to myself.

I was stumbling through the common area, not overly surprised that there were lights on, when I caught sight of her sitting alone on the couch, staring at the blank tv screen.

"Bella?" I hadn't thought before saying her name, but the worry on her face caught me off guard. I squinted in the light to try seeing her better. Her eyes met mine, and it was clear she'd been sitting there a while. There were faint circles around her eyes. Both her hands were tangled in the out-of-control waves of brown hair around her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

Bella swallowed and released her hair, putting her hands on her lap before answering. "Nothing," she said. "I was just thinking and lost track of time." She looked around, as if surprised to be in the dorm before turning back to me. "How was your night?"

I shrugged. Talking with anyone about the girls I hooked up with had never been appealing to me. Discussing them with Bella would be unthinkable. Not that I was foolish enough to think she wasn't aware of how much of a player I had become, but having her as a friend was one of the ways I managed to keep sight of the person I wanted to be.

We stared at each other in silence for a while, until my stomach grumbled loudly.

Bella cracked a small smile. "Did your date not want to finish the night with pancakes?"

"No, she didn't want pancakes," I style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanI laughed at the idea of bringing whatever her name was to a place as bright as a diner. Even more ridiculous was the idea of having an actual conversation the way Bella and I had at our one kind-of-date back in high school.

The memories flooded back, my mind too tired and fuzzy from alcohol to fight them off. From the first sight of Bella, the police chief's daughter who moved back to town our senior year. To the first conversation we had in chemistry class when she was assigned to be my lab partner. To our friendship that grew slowly as I pushed past her shyness. To the day I finally got up the never to ask her to prom, and she thought it was only out of pity, because she had broken her leg the week before. To how I'd had to work all night to get her to agree to standing on my toes as I held her close to me and we swayed to the last song of the night. To our continuing to laugh and talk about everything and nothing, still dressed in our formal wear at the all-night truck-stop out by the Interstate before I took her home, saying goodnight with a kiss on the cheek and an ache in my heart.

That was four years ago now. We'd both left Forks to study at University of Washington. Having rooms across the hall from each other hadn't helped me overcome the chasm between friends and what I wanted to be with her. So, I'd tried to ignore my feelings, taking advantage of some of the girls that threw themselves at me. I tried to always be a decent guy, but I couldn't bring myself to be in a relationship with anyone I had met. I was basically an idiot, but at least I recognized it. Maybe after we both got real jobs and went our separate ways I could finally let go of the hope that I could be more to Bella. Maybe with some time and distance I could let go of her.

"How about you," I said. "I've heard thinking on an empty stomach is dangerous. You want to get out of here?"

Her smile widened. "Actually, I've been starving for the past hour, but I hate to eat alone." As she stood up and walked toward me I stepped back to let her pass me into the hall.

The room spun and I wobbled on the spot. As I closed my eyes, I heard the musical tone of her laughter.

"I'm definitely driving," she said with a giggle.

"That's probably a good idea," I agreed, following her. We talked about how hungry we were and what we planned on ordering as we walked out to her old Chevy truck in the senior parking lot. We'd pretty much covered the entire menu of the all-night diner, comparing each dish at this greasy spoon to the equivalent in our hometown.

She was rolling her eyes at me as I opened the plate-glass door. "Come on, Edward," she said with a grin over her shoulder as she headed toward a nearby booth. "You can't dismiss the home-fries just because there's a hint of garlic in them. What are you, a vampire?"

"I didn't say I didn't like them because of garlic," I argued back. "I'm just saying they give you bad breath. Sometimes that's worth considering."

"I'm sure that's often a consideration for you," she teased, but the laughter didn't quite reach her eyes.

I felt a blush of shame heating my cheeks. Before I could think of something to say to that, the waitress arrived. We didn't waste time ordering drinks first, but each told her what we wanted along with coffees. She nodded and snapped her gum at us in reply before heading back to the kitchen with our orders. Service wasn't exactly top-notch at this time of night, or morning, no matter where you were.

"So, do you want to tell me what's got you thinking when every reasonable person has turned their brains off?" I asked, placing one hand on the table, wishing I could touch her, but not daring to try.

Bella swallowed and wrapped her arms around herself, looking out the window for a moment before answering. "Graduation's coming up fast," she answered.

"True," I replied, knowing there was more to it.

"How's your job search been going?" she asked, turning back to look at me.

My hand left the table to fist my hair. I hadn't been prepared for this particular topic. "Not too great," I said. "I've only managed to get one interview."

"Well, at least you have one," Bella said. "The economy's really rough right now."

I grimaced. "The interview's with my dad's firm."

"Oh," Bella breathed, understanding and sympathy in her gaze. "That would be… interesting."

I snorted. "It's not like I really expected any different. He only agreed to pay for college if I majored in business law. I was fooling myself to think I wouldn't end up working for him, but I kind of hoped that maybe…"

"Maybe a miracle would fall out of the sky." Bella finished, her voice small and scared. I realized we weren't talking about me anymore.

"What is it Bella?" I asked, concerned and curious enough to lean closer and extend my hand to her. Before she could respond, the gum-snapping waitress returned with two mugs. Bella and I both leaned back from the table as she placed them in front of us. I ignored mine, but Bella wrapped both hands around the mug as if coffee was the one comfortable and familiar thing in her life. I watched her bring the steaming liquid to her lips, wishing I could read her mind.

Bella met my eyes for half a second before staring back at the formica table. "Do you remember when I was in that play last semester?"

"Of course," I answered. My pulse quickened as I held back the thought that I would never forget seeing shy Bella take the stage.

She'd been amazing, even the campus newspaper had singled her performance out in their write up, noting it was a shame she'd be graduating and that she hadn't been in any productions before. It had been funny to me, remembering that she'd been talked into going to auditions by another friend of ours. She'd wanted to turn it down, but Bella took promises, even implied ones of accepting a part you audition for, very seriously.

I did, too. So, I'd promised to be there opening night when Bella asked me to come see her. Deep down, I knew she wouldn't really need me to cheer for her, but I was happy to give her the moral support. I was so dazzled by seeing her up there in the stage lights that I went to all the other performances, five in all. Each time, she was brilliant, outshining the rest of the cast effortlessly. But, as far as Bella knew, I'd only been there once.

"I didn't tell you," Bella started, echoing my own thoughts.

Once again the waitress appeared in the middle of our tense moment. But, I remained focused on Bella's face, unable to look away from the crease that appeared in between her eyebrows when she was really struggling with her inner thoughts. I picked up my fork, acting casual to encourage her to continue, before asking "What didn't you tell me, Bella?"

Bella swallowed, looking like she was the one who had been out with too much to drink. I was a little worried she might be sick, which would definitely set my own stomach off. My fork hung over my plate as I prayed that both of us would manage to eat. Thankfully, she seemed to collect herself with a breath before continuing. "I didn't tell you, but there was some Hollywood casting director who came to see the play. He approached me after about auditioning."

"You mean in Hollywood?" I asked, surprised she hadn't mentioned to the possibility of travelling. Bella had often said she wanted to see California. She'd hadn't left Washington since we met; her family didn't have a lot of money for vacations, unlike style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span

"No, at his hotel," Bella explained.

I dropped the fork as if it had burned my hand. White hot rage raced through me like flames catching dry kindling. "Please tell me you didn't go," I growled.

Bella bit her lip, not saying anything. My hands balled into fists as I imagined pummeling this faceless casting director into a bloody pulp. How dare he use that cliché come on to my sweet, trusting Bella? How could she have fallen for it? And why had she not told me about it? I could have warned her not to go.

"What's wrong?" she whispered.

"I'm trying to control my temper," I spat threw my teeth. "It's very difficult at the moment."

"Why?" she asked, and I couldn't believe her confusion.

"He took advantage of you," I nearly shouted, making the few other people in the diner turn toward us.

"How could he have taken advantage of me?" she asked. "I didn't sign it yet."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"The contract he offered me," she asked. "I told him I needed time to look it over, but I'm supposed to give him an answer tomorrow." Bella looked down at her lap, where she was twisting a paper napkin so that it was beginning to fall apart.

I exhaled in relief that the conclusion I'd jumped to had been wrong. Slowly the overtired and strung out synapses began to fire. "You're trying to decide whether or not to take a job in Hollywood?" I asked.

She nodded staring out the window, then turned back to me, her expression shifting. "What did you think I was going to say?" she asked.

"It's not important," I said, trying to change the subject back.

Bella's eyes got wide. "You thought? Oh my god, Edward, what is this, 1950?"

"Well, think about what you told me," I replied. "What did you expect me to think?"

She rolled her eyes now. "I'm not an idiot," she said. "The audition was in the conference center, not a bedroom. And there were two other studio people there, plus about a dozen other girl's auditioning."

I could feel the tips of my ears getting hot, but relief was stronger than my embarrassment. My stomach growled again and I began to shovel in some of the eggs in front of me.

"Okay," I said, trying to process all this information. "So, basically, you've got an opportunity to be in a movie, and you're not sure if that's something you want."

"Actually," Bella explained, taking my cue and starting to pick at her own food, "It's a part in this first movie of a new franchise. They're making films out of that vampire series everyone was crazy about."

"Oh, yeah," I said as if I knew what she was talking about. In reality, I hadn't ever paid attention to books. I wasn't much of a reader aside from the sports pages, and business journals which I kept up with so that I would occasionally have something to say to my dad. "But, you're not sure if you want to do it?"

Bella looked extremely conflicted. "Part of me really does want to," she admitted. "I mean, I didn't ever imagine being an actress, but when I tried…" she trailed off, and I could see that same transformation that had occurred when she stepped onto the stage. Suddenly, she was more than the Bella that she normally showed the world.

"What about the part makes you not want to do it?" I asked.

She met my eyes again. "It would just be such a change," she said. "I'd have to leave Washington for at least four years, and if these movies end up being anything as big as the books, I'd have to do all sorts of press and things. I might not have any kind of privacy like I'm used to."

"Wow," I said, finally grasping the enormity of what she was talking about.

"Yeah," Bella agreed. "It would basically be giving up on my whole life. But, part of me thinks that I'd be gaining a life I could never have imagined. And, really, what is my alternative? I haven't been able to find another job, which I would really need soon. If I took the part, I'd literally never have to worry about my student loans."

I frowned in sympathy. My own issues with having my dad paid for college where minimal compared to Bella's constant struggles with the Financial Aid office. I had a rough idea of just how much debt she'd be carrying. It wasn't a lot by today's standards, but even in-state tuition added up before you could graduate.

"Are there any other pro's and con's your considering?" I asked, hoping to help her work this out.

"Not really," Bella said, slumping in her seat. "It basically breaks down into Pro- doing something exciting that I'd really love and getting a whole lot of money and Con- facing a big change, potentially giving up a social life, and being far away from everything I know and every one I care about."

Her eyes started to tear. I was frozen in my booth, desperate to move to her side and hold her, to tell her it would all work out, but the idea of her being far away hurt me, too. I felt like I had turned to stone.

"Well," I swallowed. "I can't tell you whether or not to try and take the part. But, please promise me you'll have someone look at any contract before you actually sign it."

Bella peered up at me from under her lashes. "Actually," she whispered, "I was hoping you'd look at it."

"I meant someone qualified, Bella," I admonished. "Someone you can trust to look out for your best interests."

Bella huffed and crossed her arms again. "Remind me what you're getting a degree in, Edward."

I shook my head, not willing to answer her since I knew where she was going.

"It's in business law, correct?" she pushed on. "So, in other words, the University of Washington thinks you're perfectly qualified to read a contract."

"Bella," I moaned. "I don't have any experience with the movie industry. There could be some clause that I'd miss and it could hurt you long term."

"Just look at it, please," Bella said. "If you see anything bad, that will be enough for me to make the decision to walk away."

"But if I don't, I still don't think you should sign it without a second opinion." I said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"If you don't see anything," she continued. "Then you can help me find someone to give me a second opinion."

"Okay," I promised. "As soon as we get back to campus, I'll look over what they gave you. But, you're still making this decision on your own, Bella."

She nodded in agreement, but I could see it already. She'd needed someone to push her one way or another and I'd unwillingly done just that by agreeing to look at the contract. Part of me hoped that I would find something to have an objection to. But, I knew that was being selfish. I hated that part of myself that would rather have Bella broke and in Washington with me than potentially rich and famous in Hollywood.

But, would she be happy there? The angel on my other shoulder whispered. I really couldn't picture it.

While we finished our early morning breakfast, Bella filled me in on the basic story line of the movies and the part she would have to play. The two parts of me each had plenty to argue about. I had no doubt that she would be brilliant in the role. But, I hated that the story was a romance. It made me queasy to think of her kissing some hot-throb actor while the cameras caught every detail.

Finally, we made it back to the dorms. I waited in the common area, which was still empty since it was just dawn and everyone was at least a few hours from waking. She brought me the contract and sat watching me with her arms wrapped around her legs and her teeth buried in her lip as I read it over.

Unfortunately, everything looked pretty good. There were plenty of clauses that would allow her out if it became necessary for her. And the money was, in a word, unbe-fucking-lievable. I'd have to set her up with a financial planner as well as an attorney, I decided. I was on my second read when one term jumped out at me. I paused, looking at the words and thinking about my own job search.

"Bella," I said unnecessarily as she was already waiting for me to speak with all of her attention focused on me.

"What is it?" she asked. "Is it good or bad?"

I ignored that, as I wasn't really sure what the answer truly was. "Did you see that you have an allowance for a personal assistant?"

"Yes," she answered slowly, the single syllable stretched out to nearly twice as long as she normally said it.

"And did you know that allowance is about the same as the starting salary at my dad's company?" I asked raising an eyebrow at her.

Bella gasped. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" she breathed.

"If you think I'm saying I'd like to send you my resume, then yes." I grinned at her.