Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any of the characters. They belong to JK Rowling

This is a story I wrote several years ago. It's a one-shot and is complete. Hope you enjoy it. If you do I would love to hear your comments on it. Constructive criticism is welcome too, otherwise we never improve.

Enjoy

Queenie

xx

Regret

Draco heaved a sigh and checked his reflection in the mirror one last time. 'Not too bad', he thought. From a distance or in the dim light of the Great Hall no-one would really notice the bags under his eyes, the grey tinge to his skin or the lankness of his hair. The charms he'd used covered most signs that he wasn't sleeping or eating properly. He didn't know why she would care anymore but he hoped Hermione wouldn't take too close a look at him as she would see straight through his charms. 'Well', Draco thought. 'I don't suppose I can procrastinate any longer.' Draco grabbed his cloak and prepared to Disapparate to Hogsmeade for their ten-year reunion.

~12 years ago~

"Again? Fuck sakes Malfoy do you just follow me around the castle at night?" Harry fumed as he turned to find the blonde-haired boy standing at the door to the astronomy tower.
"Fuck off Potter. You told me last night to find a new place to come and think at night, so I did. Why did you come here? What was wrong with the North Tower? You knew I wouldn't come back there again."
"If you must know, I literally bumped into Professor Trelawney on the way back to my common room."
"So, did you get a detention then?" Draco asked moving over beside Harry and gazing down into the grounds.
"No, I'm much more interesting as an omen of impending doom to her. Why do you care?"
"I was just making conversation Potter. Peeves was bounding about downstairs when I came up so it's not safe to move for a while yet. Then I'll leave you alone and find somewhere else, again, to come and think."

They boys stood in silence for ten minutes each lost in their own thoughts. Occasionally, Draco would steal a sidelong glance at Harry whose brow was knitted in concentration.
"Why do you keep following me around at night?" Harry suddenly snapped. "On orders from Voldemort to keep an eye on the Boy-Who-Lived are you?"
"Fuck you Potter. I'm not following you, nor am I under orders from the Dark Lord to do so," Draco retorted. "It's just coincidence." Draco stared hard at Harry shutting down his true feelings. Truth was he WAS following Harry about, although their first meeting had been a coincidence, but it was not for Voldemort that Draco did this.
"The Boy-Who-Lived!" Draco snorted. "Got a mighty high opinion of yourself, don't you?"
Harry merely glared at Draco who resumed his watch over the grounds. He was going to play this cool. Potter had actually started this conversation, maybe if he played his cards right Harry might strike up an actual conversation.

The icy silence was broken five minutes later by Harry.

"Well if you're not following me around..."
"In your dreams Potter!"
"Then what are you doing wandering the castle at night? What've you got to think about? Working out the most strategic time to join the Death Eaters?"
Draco turned to face Harry with a hurt look on his face.
"Screw you Potter. What makes you so certain that I want to join the Death Eaters? What reason have I ever given you to believe that joining the Death Eaters is my ambition?"
"You're in Slytherin and your daddy's Voldemort's little pet."
"And that's your sole reasoning for thinking I want to join up is it? Not everyone aspires to be like their father Potter!" Draco spat. "I thought you should've understood that!"
"If that's a crack about my parents being dead..."
"It was a reference to Sirius you moron."
"I...how...what are you talking about Malfoy?"
"His whole family was in Slytherin. I thought you knew that."
"I do, but how do you know?"
"He's my mother's cousin that's how I know. His family is my family Potter," Draco said returning his gaze to the grounds.

"So, what do you need to think about then?" Harry asked leaning on the parapet and gazing into the grounds as well.
"None of your business Potter. What do you need to think about?"
"None of your business Malfoy."
"Fair enough. I thought you might come to think about how to tell Ron and Hermione that you were gay. I imagine Hermione isn't the problem though."
"Ron wasn't a problem either...isn't a problem. I'm not gay."
"If you say so," Draco replied with a shrug of his shoulders.
"I'm not!"
"So why did you tell them you were?"
"I haven't," Harry said turning slightly red through anger and embarrassment.
"You really should pick your spots for secret conversations better. Or at least look around before you spill your guts."
"What?"
"I was sitting thinking on the other side of that bush Potter and you, Ron and Hermione just marched up and then you spilled your guts to them."
"You could've announced yourself."
"Why? I was there first. If you didn't want to be overheard then you should have been more careful."

"If you already knew I'd told Ron and Hermione I was gay then why ask if that's why I'm here?" Harry fumed.
"I wanted to see your reaction," Draco shrugged. "Seemed like fun."
"So, you follow me around so you can make fun of me?"
"No, coincidence but I really can't pass up an opportunity when it lands in my lap can I? So, since we both know that you're gay and that Ron and Hermione know you're gay, why do you wander the castle to think?" Draco asked.
"Still none of your business," Harry retorted.
"Well then do you mind if I had a bit of peace and quiet to think?"
"Fine!"

Both boys resumed their watch of the castle grounds. Harry however kept sighing and glancing over at Draco.
"Look you haven't told anyone, have you Malfoy?" Harry finally asked five minutes later unable to contain himself any longer.
"What?"
"Have you told anyone?" Harry asked again with a hint of pleading in his voice.
"About you being gay?"
"Yeah."
"Actually, I haven't," Draco answered smirking. "Yet."
"What do you mean yet?"
"What I mean Potter, is that up to this moment in time I haven't told anyone, but the future is hard to predict. Who can say if I will or won't?"
"Look Draco, please, I'm begging you don't tell anyone. I'm not ready for everyone to know yet."
"Draco? Since when are we on a first name basis Potter? What's in it for me if I don't tell anyone? I doubt you'd do the same for me if the situation was reversed. Well night. I'm going to bed," Draco said turning towards the door.

Draco's hand was on the door, when Harry came up and grabbed his other wrist and turned him round.
"Wait, please," Harry begged.
"Let go Potter," Draco said pulling his wrist out of Harry's grip.
"Please, Malfoy, please I'll do anything you want, but please I'm begging you don't tell anyone. There are still people I need to tell myself first."
Draco barely thought about what he did next after he heard 'anything you want'. He grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled him into a passionate kiss. After a few minutes they broke apart.
"I want you Harry," Draco said looking into Harry's beautiful green eyes. Harry said nothing but pulled Draco into another kiss.

~Hogwarts Entrance Hall, present day~

Draco stood looking at the seating plan for the reunion wishing that he'd just stayed at home. The prefects from his year were all sitting together. He should've guessed they wouldn't just sit at the house tables. Not that that would have been any better though. Draco steeled his nerves and walked into the Great Hall. The hall was quite full already and Draco noticed that Harry, Ron and Hermione were already there. Ron was standing beside Hermione's chair talking to her and Harry.
"Alright, Harry, Ron, Hermione," Draco said taking his seat next to Hermione.
"Malfoy," Ron nodded.
"Hi Draco," Hermione said with wide eyes.
Harry did not acknowledge Draco but resumed his conversation with Ron and Hermione.

'Well,' Draco thought. 'That's better than I hoped for. Never mind I can always talk to Pansy. She was always dead supportive before she got married and we lost contact.' Draco sighed looking at Harry, Ron and Hermione who were laughing away at some inside joke that Draco had long since ceased to be a part of.

~Castle Grounds, 10 years ago~

"Harry, why did Draco want to meet us here? We're miles from the castle and I'm freezing," Ron complained.
"Stop moaning Ron, you know Harry and Draco can't just have a cosy conversation in the common room like we can," Hermione reprimanded.
"I know but they shouldn't have to sneak around. Why can't he just tell his parents," Ron grumbled. "There's nothing wrong with them."
"Thanks Ron," Harry smiled. "But would you like to tell Mr Malfoy that? I wouldn't. Even if he's happy that Draco's gay I hardly think that the Boy-Who-Lived is the best choice for a Death Eater's son."
"I suppose," Ron conceded. "But I'm still freezing."
"What does Draco want to talk to us all about anyway, Harry?" Hermione asked.
"I don't know. He wouldn't say. He just made me promise that we'd all meet him here when we got back from our Christmas holidays," Harry replied. "I just hope he's not done something stupid like tell Mr Malfoy he's gay."
"Is he back yet?" Ron grumbled. "How long will he be? I'm freezing."
"Oh Ron, give it a rest!" Hermione snapped. "We're all cold but you don't have to keep going on about it. Draco will be here when he's here."

Harry and Hermione sat down on a rock and gazed out over the lake trying to ignore Ron's grumbling, which lasted for a further five minutes until Draco appeared.
"Draco!" Harry said leaping up and kissing Draco.
"Did you have a nice Christmas Draco?" Hermione asked.
"Until yesterday, yeah I did thanks," Draco replied. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."
"What happened?" Harry asked concerned.
"I told my father about us," Draco said looking into Harry's eyes.
"So, we don't have to sneak about?"
"Not anymore," Draco said with a sad smile.
"Draco, what did your father say?" Hermione asked.
"He wasn't happy. He's disowned me completely."
"What?!" Ron raged. "Why?"
"Apparently I'm an embarrassment to him. He's completely cut me off."
"Drac," Harry said giving Draco a hug.
"It's okay. I just need to find a way to get some money before the end of the year or I've nowhere to live."
"Move in with me," Harry said.
"At the Muggles?"
"No, you ass. I'm going to get my own place. Why don't we get a place? I've got some money until we get jobs."

~Great Hall, Present Day~

"Hi Draco," Pansy said bringing Draco out of his thoughts.
"Pansy," Draco said rising out of his seat to give her a hug.
"I didn't think you were going to come. I'm so sorry I've not been around for you more," Pansy said looking truly sorry.
"You're miles away and your got your kids," Draco said leaning closer to Pansy and lowering his voice. "You're letters after Harry finished with me were a great comfort," Draco said tears streaming down his face.
"Oh Dracie," Pansy said pulling Draco in a big hug and stroking his hair and not noticing that Hermione was discreetly watching them both.
They pulled apart after a couple of minutes Draco wiping the last of his tears away.
"I'm alright. I can do this as long as you're here."
"I don't think anyone else here is worth talking to. We can have a good catch up and a dance together. I've missed you Draco."
"I've missed you. You're my only friend now."
"Draco, why don't you move up north with me? There's a lovely little house right across the road. You'd love it. Then you don't need to be alone."
"I couldn't afford that. I've got barely any savings."
"Stuff that I'll buy it for you as a present. Blaise and I are loaded. Please let me do that for you. Blaise is always away working and I get lonely. I need the company."
"I'd like that. Blaise was always decent to me."

Draco looked about the Great Hall it was now full and Ron had gone back to his own table. Hermione seemed to be whispering something to Harry who was looking concerned.

~Diagon Alley, 9 ½ years ago~

"Right I know it's not much but I want to save money for a really nice house. Maybe in Godric's Hollow, but it'll do to start with," Harry said as he and Draco looked around the small one-bedroom flat above Diagon Alley. "It's clean at any rate, even if it is a bit small."
"Anywhere is a palace as long as I'm with you, Harry," Draco said giving Harry a kiss who shifted awkwardly.
"Yeah, well we'd best get unpacked and organised for our house warming tonight. The unpacking could take ages," Harry said looking about at the piles of boxes cluttering up the small flat.
"Okay," Draco said slowly taking out his wand and giving it a few flicks and pokes and watched as the boxes all unpacked themselves and flew into place. "All done, now let's go and relax in our bedroom."
Draco tugged a rather reluctant Harry along to their bedroom.

~Great Hall, Present Day~

After dinner and several dances with Pansy, Draco was sitting at the side of the hall watching Pansy dance with Blaise when Hermione slipped into the seat beside him.
"Draco," Hermione said tentatively. "You look awful. Are you okay?"
"Cheers. Real confidence boaster Granger," Draco snapped. He wasn't in the mood for this.
"Well its Weasley now but I think you can still call me Hermione. We shared a lot together over the years you know," Hermione said sounding a little hurt. "But you don't look like you've been sleeping or eating properly. I can see through your charms."
"What do you want me to say Hermione? No, I'm not sleeping right, or eating. I gave up everything for Harry and he broke my heart. I have nothing and no-one. Is it any surprise that I'm not looking my best? So, unless you know a spell that can put everything back the way it was, I really don't know what more there is to say?"
"You don't have to have no-one. We're still your friends. We can still hang out."
"Oh yeah? When I came in tonight and I greeted you all, Harry didn't even acknowledge me. How is that a friend?"
"He was just worried you were going to make another scene..."
"Me make a scene? Oh, that's rich..."
"He misses you Draco."
"But not in the way I want. It's too painful. Just leave me alone Hermione. Just leave me alone."
"But Draco..."

"Get lost Granger," Pansy snarled coming over. "He said leave him alone. I think you've said enough."
"Oh, like you care. You weren't exactly around when he and Harry split. So, don't you go lecturing me."
"Actually Hermione, Pansy was there for me. She wrote to me three times a day, for months."
"But she couldn't make the effort to come and see you."
"She had two-year-old triplets at the time and Blaise was abroad for work. I understood. She did what she could and if I'd wanted, I could've went to her since she tried in every letter to persuade me to go stay with her. Just leave me alone. Go back to Ron and Harry."
Hermione got up and left, looking really hurt.
"What's she got to be hurt about?" Pansy asked watching Hermione walk away.
"Everything alright Draco?" Blaise asked joining Pansy and Draco and handing each of them a Firewhiskey. "Well, as alright as tonight can be?"
"Cheers," Draco said accepting the glass. "Sort of. Thanks to Pansy."
"Have you told him about our offer Pansy?" Blaise asked taking a sip of his Firewhiskey.
"About the house? Yeah I'd really like that if you don't mind."
"Not at all. You were always a good friend to me and Pansy. Least I can do. Not too bad for Slytherin's are we?"
"Not too bad at all," Draco said draining his glass of Firewhiskey in one. "I'm going to take a walk in the grounds for old time's sake."
"I'll come with you," Pansy offered.
"Thanks, but I want to be alone. You two go and dance and have a good time for a bit." Draco said standing up. "I'll be okay." He added when Pansy didn't look convinced.

Draco slipped out the Great Hall watched by Harry, who muttered something to Ron and Hermione about the bathroom and followed Draco out the hall and across the grounds.

~Hogwarts Grounds~

Draco found his feet taking him automatically to the place at the far side of the lake where he'd always liked to go to sit and think. Sitting down behind the familiar old bush he gazed out across the lake and let the tears spill down his face. It would be so nice to move near Pansy and have someone to talk to again. He really missed that.

~Harry and Draco's flat, Diagon Alley, 2 Years Ago~

Harry came home after work to find the table set for a romantic meal for two. Draco had obviously gone to a lot of trouble.
"Harry!" Draco exclaimed coming out of the kitchen. "I didn't hear you come in. Happy Anniversary."
"What?" Harry asked.
"Today's our 10-year anniversary of when we started dating. Don't you remember?"
"Oh yeah sorry. I'm just shattered from work that's all. This looks fantastic."
"Well, sit down I've made everything myself," Draco said and bustled off into the kitchen while Harry threw his cloak on the couch and sat down.

After dinner Draco poured two glasses of wine and snuggled up next to Harry on the couch. Harry took the glass of wine and stared into it in silence for some time.
"I'll give you a Knut for your thoughts," Draco said breaking the silence.
"Draco," Harry said putting down his and Draco's glass of wine and taking Draco's hands. "I bought a house in Godric's Hollow today."
"Oh Harry, that's wonderful because I wanted to ask you something," Draco said fuming in his robe pocket and pulling out an engagement ring. "Will you marry me?"
"Draco. I don't know what to say."
"Say yes," Draco said taking the ring from its box to slip it on Harry's finger.
"I...I can't."
"What?"
"I can't marry you Draco. I don't want to marry you. I'm sorry."
"What? Why?"
"I don't love you Draco. That's what I was trying to tell you. I bought a house in Godric's Hollow. I'm moving there next week. Alone."

"But I don't understand. I thought we were happy? You said it last week you said you loved me and you were so happy with me."
"I'm sorry. I think I did love you once, for a bit, but you blackmailed me into the relationship. I just wasn't ready for everyone to know. I couldn't take the chance that you would tell anyone, so..."
"So, you used me?" Draco asked really hurt.
"I'm sorry. I was selfish I know," Harry said trying to take Draco's hands.
"Let go of me," Draco said recoiling away from Harry. "I gave up everything for you. My family...my inheritance... my friends...my home, and all that time you were just using me?"
"I told you that you shouldn't tell your father..."
"And now I know why."
"But he would've found out you were gay eventually and disowned you!" Harry said defensively.
"I can't believe this. I've lost everything and now I'm losing you? You're the only reason my father disowned me. It was you he was embarrassed about, not me being gay he made that very clear."
"That's not what you told us."
"I didn't want you to feel bad about it. I just wanted us to be together properly, no more sneaking about. I thought that was what you wanted."

"Look Draco I'm really sorry. You can have this place. I'll go to Ron and Hermione's tonight. I'll collect my things when you're at work tomorrow," Harry said getting up and heading towards the door.
"Please don't leave me Harry," Draco begged crossing the room and standing in front of the door. "I need you Harry. I'll do whatever you want, please, please don't leave me," Draco said tears streaming down his face.
"What I want Draco is to end this sham of a relationship. Please let me go. If you love me at all let me go. I don't love you, this can't work," Harry said gently moving Draco aside. "I'm sorry."
The door slammed shut behind Harry and Draco sunk to the floor sobbing.
"Please Harry, don't leave me."

~Hogwarts Grounds, Present Day~

The sound of approaching footsteps brought Draco back from his thoughts.
"I thought I told you to leave me alone Hermione?" Draco asked impatiently.
"Draco," said a voice that wasn't Hermione. Draco turned to face Harry who sat down next to him.
"What do you want?"
"I was worried about you. You look terrible."
"Thanks for the info. You can go back now that you've pretended to care."
"I do care about you. Is it true what Hermione said? That you're moving up north with Pansy?"
"Been eavesdropping has she? Yeah, it's true not that it's any of your business. Leave me alone."
"Where exactly does she live?"
"None of your business."
"I think it is..."
"Why? You left me remember? You didn't love me. You never did. Why do you care now?"

"I miss you."
"As if! You just want to salve your conscience."
"I do, I miss you. I was wrong to leave you. I did love you. I do love you. I was just scared. I'm so, so sorry. I still love you and I want you back," Harry said leaning in and kissing Draco who kissed back for a minute before pulling away and jumping to his feet.
"No, I can't do this. I can't trust you. You said you loved me before but you lied. I can't ever trust you again."
Draco turned and sprinted away back along the lake towards the castle. Harry jumped up and followed and caught up with Draco halfway back grabbed his wrist.
"Draco, please," Harry begged. "I'm really, really sorry. I know I broke your heart. I don't expect you to trust me again straight away, but with time please."
Harry pushed a lock of Draco's hair out of his eyes.
"I want you Draco," Harry said looking into Draco tear filled grey eyes.
"And I want you Harry, but I can't do that again. I need to move forward, and now I can. Goodbye Harry," Draco said giving Harry a kiss on the cheek he turned and fled down the lawns and out the gates where he disapparated.