Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of its characters
Josh pulled up around 2 blocks from the VA hospital, they would have to walk from here since it wasn't possible to bring the car any further. They got out and started walking in silence. After a while Josh thought enough of the silence, they hadn't spoken one word since leaving the call center together, not that he knew what to say at the moment but still.
"So how about this weather of ours today?" he joked hoping to get a smile from Maddie, to get any reaction from her at this moment. Maddie had been so quiet in the car, staring blankly out the window and completely caught up in her own world, it was hard to watch.
"Hmm, what?" Maddie asked confused, stopping to look at Josh. She hadn't followed what he'd just said, but knew it had been directed at her, she had been so caught up on thinking about Buck. She looked around, how did they get here, she didn't remember getting out of the car, didn't remember much of getting into it either really.
"Nothing", Josh said. And upon noticing Maddie's confusement: "Hey are you sure you're okay? Not gonna pass out again or anything are you?" he asked in concern.
"Hmm, yeah I'm fine. Just thinking about Buck. Really I'm fine, I promise" she told him, quirking up a slight smile at him, before going back to staring blankly out into the air and letting him guide her to the VA hospital in silence again. Maybe they should have one of the doctors check Maddie over while there anyway, just to make sure he thought but didn't say anything.
At the VA hospital the 118 were gathered, waiting for news on Chris and Buck who had been taken back for some tests and examinations. Eddie of course had gone with Chris, who seemed rather ontouch by the situation and very much like himself. Chris was mostly being checked over do to his CP, and Eddie's nagging the doctors of course. Buck on the other hand had completely collapsed when they found him and didn't seem to have been in a good condition, probably not made better by him bleeding and being on blood thinners, which they had of course made the doctors aware of immediately, and so he had been rolled away on a gurney halfway unconscious. No one had gone with Buck, though not because they hadn't tried, none of the staff would allow them to follow. Bobby had tried calling the dispatch office manager to let her know of what had happened so that Maddie could be properly informed of the situation, but she hadn't picked up and Bobby figured that they might be busy and hadn't done a second call. They had been sitting in the waiting room for about 30 minutes when Bobby's phone vibrated in his pocket and he picked it up and walked a little away from the others to answer Sue, afterall he had left a message stating that it was important and how to reach him.
"Bobby Nash?" Sue asked in a professional tone.
"This is Captain Nash speaking yes. I called to inform you" Bobby began but was cut off.
"You called to inform me that Evan Buckley, brother of one of my 911 operators Maddie Buckley, was in the tsunami and is being treated at the old VA hospital am I right? Sue asked, already knowing the answer to her question to be yes.
"Ehm yes ma'am" Bobby answered surprised;
"Yes, well then I should probably inform you that Maddie Buckley just left with another dispatcher to head down to the VA hospital after receiving a call around 40 minutes ago letting her know" Sue said
"40 minutes ago?" Bobby asked confused, "but we didn't find him before at top 30 minutes ago when I called you" he said, trying hard to figure out who could have called Maddie, could Buck have called Maddie himself before they found him?
"Yes well I don't know anything about that" Sue said, then changed her tone to a slightly softer and less professional one: "Please take care of Maddie when she arrives. She still didn't seem herself when leaving here, which is why I insisted Josh drive her".
"I will" Bobby promised in an equally friendly tone.
"Thank you" Sue said, hesitating before asking: "How is Evan"
"To be honest, I don't know. He didn't look too good, had to be wheeled away due to the severity of his condition, but he's a survivor" Bobby told honestly.
"Please God let him survive this", Sue said before hanging up the phone, Bobby's thoughts exactly the same. Maddie walked into the VA hospital waiting and triaging area 20 minutes later, looking pale and empty, guided by a young tall man in a blue dispatch shirt with dark brown hair, Josh Bobby guessed from the conversation with Sue. Josh looked around until he spotted the 118 firefighters, gathered in a corner and looking slightly out of place as well.
"Maddie, can you look at me for just a second" Chimney asked softly. They had helped Maddie to sit down in one of the chairs in the triaging area, which was also used for people awaiting updates on loved ones like themself. After hearing about what happened when Maddie found out about Buck, and after seeing the state she was currently in, Bobby agreed with Josh that Maddie get checked over; Maddie hadn't protested or in any way reacted when Bobby and Josh suggested, or Bobby probably more commanded even though he knew he didn't have any say over the young dispatcher, but in the end it ended up being Chimney who checked her over do to busyness taking care of all the casualties from the tsunami. Maddie looked at him, but it was clear that whatever she was looking at it wasn't him, she just followed commands; 'Well at least she is registrering enough to follow a command' Chimney thought a little hopeful yet still very worried by the emptiness and distance in Maddie's eyes.
"I think she is in shock over the news of what happened to Buck" Chimney concluded looking at Cap and Josh. Hen had left them to help triage and treat other casualties, taking some of the load off of the overworked staff and making sure the patients got treated faster.
"Buck?" Maddie asked with that emptiness from her eyes somehow also finding its way into her voice, making her sound and look very small and fragile, breaking Chimney's heart just a little more over seeing his girlfriend in this much pain. Maddie's eyes was tearing up and she turned to look back down that same corridor she had been looking at since they got her seated and told her were Buck was
"Shh Maddie, it's gonna be okay, everything will be okay" Chimney said while hurrying back to Maddie's side and dropping down to sit next to her, rubbing her back and holding her, trying his best to be there for her. Maddie's body relaxed in his arms, she was sobbing which Chimney saw as a positive sign, she was becoming more aware and responsive to the people around her and not locked in her thoughts anymore.
"I need to get back to the dispatch, but I know Maddie won't be alone", Josh smiled at Chimney: "See you around Chimney" he said and then looking at Maddie and changing to a softer less cheery tone: "Take care Maddie. I know Chimney will make sure you get home safe from here". Maddie at first didn't respond, but when he turned to walk out said in a soft and still slightly fragile, almost whispering voice:
"Thank you for everything Josh, I'll call you when I hear anything". Josh turned around and smile, even though Maddie couldn't see him because she was still looking down the corridor, but he knew she would hear him not doubt about it;
"You're welcome. Talk to you soon enough", then he turned around and left, knowing that Maddie was where she needed to be and that she was taken care of and going to be okay.
It was a few hours later before a doctor came to talk to them about Buck. It had quieted down a lot, and Chris had been clear several hours earlier, so now the whole gang consisting of Maddie, Chimney, Hen, Bobby, Athena, Eddie and Chris was seated in a corner and chatting while awaiting news. Maddie had cheered up a bit after seeing Chris, thank God the kid was alright she hadn't even thought to ask being so worried about Buck, seeing Chris had brought Maddie back to life, though still more quiet and not participating in the conversation as much. Maddie had been sitting with Chris on her lap a little isolated from the others, when the doctor came, but as soon as she heard the call for any and all family of Evan Buckley she got up, picking Chris up in the same motion so she was now standing with him in her arms; The 118 got up as well and all followed Maddie over to the doctor, Eddie offered to take back Chris but Maddie kindly declined saying that he was all that held her together at the moment, Chris hugged Maddie upon hearing this, though he was not entirely sure what it meant.
"Is this all family of Evan Buckley?" the doctor asked astonished by the amount of people coming over.
"It is" Bobby stated and everyone nodded in agreement, Maddie's eyes tearing up again as she did so and Chris gave her another hug.
"They are", Maddie's fragile voice confirmed, touched by how true that was. "We all are", she finished.
"Okay then. Please follow me and I'll go over our findings of mr. Buckley's condition", he was cut of by Hen;
"Buck. We call him Buck" she said, trying not to be disrespectful but feeling that Buckley sounded to unfamiliar and serious, "Buckley is mostly when he is in trouble", she smiled at the doctor who understood and continued:
"Yes, well then, I'll explain our findings on Buck", he looked at the paramedic who nodded in relieved agreement, "but I must insist only two at a time go in and see him since he needs to rest. Nobody said anything, all silently agreeing that Maddie and Chris be the ones who go in first. "Mr. Buckley", a look from Hen made the doctor aware of his mistake, "sorry, Buck", Hen didn't say anything, letting the doctor continue; "Buck came in severely dehydrated and exhausted, with small lacerations to the face and a cut to his arm. Do to the blood thinners and mr. Buck's general condition, our biggest concern was the cut to his arm even though it wasn't too deep. We sutured the cut and managed to stabilize mr. Buck, giving him IV fluids and nutrition as well as starting him on some antibiotics to prevent infection from the cut. He should be able to go home in a few hours when he has had time to rest a little more, but shouldn't strain himself for the next couple of days, giving the body time to rest completely. We were a little concerned about a possible head injury since there were lacerations to his head, but so far everything seems to check out, though he does seem to have a concussion, but overall should be just fine and seems to have gotten quite lucky this time" the doctor finished explaining.
"My Buck", Chris stated proudly, "he saved me". The doctor smiled at the young boy's statement.
"Your Buck is a most extraordinary man" the doctor told Chris whose smile grew even bigger.
"Yeah" Chris said and everyone smiled.
"I think Maddie and Chris should go first" Bobby stated to take back their focus, nobody objected to this, and Maddie and Chris smiled gratefully and followed the doctor to where Buck was.
Buck was laying in a hospital beds with machines and tubes connected to him, at first Maddie hesitated following the doctor in through the door to the room, but she was still holding Chris who wanted her to go in so he could see his Buck, so Maddie walked in and went to stand next to the bed looking down at Buck. It was amazing how small and peaceful he looked laying there, almost like when he was younger and she used to walk into his room at night to watch him sleep and check that he was still there and okay. She found a chair and pulled it up close to Buck, then sat down with Chris like she had been while they were waiting.
"Can I hold his hand?" Chris asked unsurden; "I don't want to hurt him".
"Chris?" The voice sounded rough and weak, but it was…
"BUCK" Chris exclaimed happily and both him and Maddie turned to look at Buck's eyes which were now open and looking at them.
"I thought I lost you. I should have protected you better" Buck told the young boy apologetically, and it broke Maddie's heart how fragile and hurt he sounded; "Can you forgive me?" Buck asked, his eyes tearing up like Maddie's.
"You saved me" Chris said as an answer, followed by something that made Buck smile and had a small laugh escape, though it was quickly followed by a large coughing fit, it made Maddie smile as well; "I kept on swimming".
"Like Dory" Buck laughed and coughed at the same time.
"Like Dory" Chris stated. The two of them grew quiet, obviously remembering something, but Maddie knew better than to ask, this was between the two of them.
"How are you feeling?" she asked a little nervous, breaking the silence in the room. Buck looked over at his sister, calculating his answer.
"Better now" he smiled at her, then the smile faded to a more apologetic look; "I'm sorry for scaring you. Are you okay?" he asked her.
"I'm fine" she said and silence filled the room again.
"Everyone is outside wanting to see you, but the doctor told us two at a time. Bobby said Maddie and I should go first" Chris told, a little uncomfortable by the silence.
"Oh, okay" Buck said, looking scared and smiling at the same time, trying to hide the fear for Chris.
"I can tell them you're not up for visitors? Doctor said you needed to rest, before I can bring you home later. Maybe it would be better if the visitation waited until you come home?" Maddie offered, sensing there was something Buck wasn't saying, but also that it wasn't something that she should ask about while Chris was there.
"Yeah maybe" Buck said, relaxing a little bit and closing his eyes, drained from the short conversation they had just had.
"Come on buddy, let's go see your dad and the others and let Buck rest" she smiled at Chris, who smiled back.
"Yeah" he said, looking at Buck who had gone back to sleeping; "Let's find dad"
Maddie and Buck were alone in his apartment, sitting across from each other at the table, staring at one another while staying silent. Chimney had left after dropping them off, making arrangements to pick Maddie up before work the next day, since Maddie's car was still parked near the dispatch; Buck had tried to argue that Maddie didn't have to stay and babysit him, but Maddie had just sent him a look that told him it wasn't up for discussion.
"So how was your day?" Buck said jokingly, trying to lighten the tense mood that had fallen over the room after Chimney left.
"Really Buck, how was my day? All of this is just a joke to you then" Maddie raged at him; "You quit your job, don't get out off bed for a week, don't speak to anyone, and then I get a call from you, where you were quite frankly scaring me, talking about losing Chris and being afraid to tell Eddie; I mean holy hell Buck you were in a freaking tsunami, you were injured, and the only thing you could focus on was Chris. You were barely making sense, not answering my questions, but hey this is all just some big JOKE to you isn't it?" she was half yelling at him and half crying by now, but she was talking.
"I'm sorry Maddie" Buck said, and Maddie could see that he meant it which took some steam of her anger with him.
"I know", she sighted. Maddie knew Buck always joked when nervous about something, it was one of his many qualities that she loved about him, but right now she needed him to be serious and talk to her. "Can we please just be grown ups and have a talk for 5 minutes? I promise it will stay between the two of us" she asked, smiling.
"Okay, I can be a grown up for 5 minutes" he joked, receiving a stern look from Maddie, "Okay, okay, no jokes about it", he sighted, "so where would you like me to start?" he asked in defeat.
"How about we start with the easiest; Why did you quit being a firefighter?" she asked.
"Because the LAFD weren't allowing me to be a firefighter" he answered, a little angrier than he had intended.
"Okay, but then why did you shut everyone out? Why did you shut me out?" she asked, a little hurt that her brother hadn't wanna let her in or answer her calls this past week. Buck sighted, he knew he had hurt her when shutting her out with the rest, guess he just hadn't realised how much;
"Guess I was just sad and angry with the world, didn't want to ruin your day by my bad mood and the others just reminded me to much of what I had lost, didn't want the pity either, did enough of that myself" he said, then sighted again: "I'm sorry Mads, didn't realise how much I was hurting you being an idiot about it all".
"It's okay, guess I just wanted to help you but didn't know how" she sighted; "What a pair we are" she laughed.
"Hey no fair, thought you said no jokes" he laughed back.
"I did, didn't I?" she laughed
"You most certainly did" he laughed before shifting back to his serious face, the mood of the room suddenly a little lighter; "Okay, what's next?" he asked smiling.
"Okay", she said, getting serious too but smiling as well; "The tsunami", the mood instantly becoming more dull again.
"Yes well the tsunami" he sighted, knowing there was no way around it; "As I mentioned over the phone Chris and I were at the piers, Eddie had dropped him off a few hours earlier because Carla is out of town and Abuela couldn't take him either. At first I didn't know what to do with him, but I knew I couldn't sit around sulking while watching him, then I remembered the carnival at the piers and asked if he wanted to go there, which he did, and we went. It was fun Maddie, just playing games and riding rides with him, listening to him laugh", Buck looked at Maddie with teary eyes.
"He got you out of your head" she stated.
"Yeah", Buck said.
"Okay, so you were at the carnival when the tsunami hit and got seperated or what?" she asked, a little unsure and frightened about the thought of how close to the tsunami her brother had been, when she had thought he was safe.
"No we were at the end of the piers talking, Chris looking out over the water, my bad mood had returned after seeing a crew arrive to take care of a medical emergency and remembering when that used to be me" he said. "Chris asked where all the water went and I turned to look to see the water all disappeared and getting an odd feeling that something bad were about to happen; Then I saw the wave rise and get bigger, heading towards us, so I grabbed Christopher and ran, getting people to follow, which they quickly did once the alarm sounded in that very moment. I ran as fast as I could with Christopher, searching for somewhere safe for us to go, noticing an empty booth I stuck Chris in it and jumped in myself, trying to hold on to him so we wouldn't get seperated, but I couldn't hold on. Once the tsunami hit we got carried away, luckily not too far from each other at first, so when the water stopped dragging us as fast I managed to get to him and got him up on a firetruck standing steady through the flooding", he stopped to check how Maddie was handling the news, noticing her teary eyes he stopped.
"You were really right there when it all happened" she said, her eyes starting to tear up even further.
"Yeah", Buck confirmed, moving his chair so that he was now seated beside his sister and putting an consoling arm around her; "We were right there" he said, thinking of Chris. Maddie was crying when she turned to look him in the eyes.
"Chim called me after it happened, they had no place to move all the wounded, the system not working. I told him I was the system", she smiled sadly remembering her conversation with her boyfriend, "he asked me how I was doing…", she hesitated, "I told him that I was glad you had a weird blood condition, which kept you away from all of that mess", she didn't hold back on the tears that started running even more now; "But you weren't safely away, cause you were right there" she cried, and Buck felt a lump in his throat that was hard to swallow.
"You were happy I couldn't be a firefighter?" he asked in disbelief, a little more roughly then intended.
"No", Maddie looked at him shocked; "No I was happy thinking you were safe, that I wouldn't have to worry about your safety going out on that call, seeing all of that" she explained. "But I was wrong, because you weren't safe, you would have been more safe having been on that call, instead you were tossed around by a tsunami, seeing God only knows what horrors" she cried, unable to continue, and Buck hugged her into him, trying to console her again.
"Shh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry" he soothed. "I'm glad you told me, your gonna be okay"; She looked up at him
"I will never be okay as long as you are hurting" she said, breaking down crying again.
"What a pair we are" he said teasingly at her, making her laugh and cry at the same time.
"No jokes remember" she said, drying her eyes and blowing her nose in some tissue from the table, sending him a sad smile; "Okay so what happened then, after the firetruck I mean?" she asked, trying to put on her best brave and serious face and failing miserably; Seeing as there were no way around it he sighted and continued
"Yes, well I got Chris up safe on the truck, but there were still people in the water needing help, so I went back in. The first woman I got out of the water and up on the truck I asked to watch Chris, which she agreed to, then I started pulling more people out. I returned to the truck, doing my best to shield Christopher from seeing all the dead bodies floating by, then the water receded and I heard people in the water calling from help…", now Buck was crying and Maddie tried to console him, while pressing back the cry she could feel herself, remembering a call she'd gotten from someone on a firetruck, reporting about 17 people being saved by a stranger who had gotten back in the water after a boy from the truck had fallen in, could it really be that same truck? Had her brother pulled out that many after just surviving a tsunami? Her thoughts were interrupted by Buck straightening up and drying his face with that dirty shirt from the flood he was still wearing; "Something hit the truck making it move slightly, I could hear him scream all the while he was falling in", Buck sank the lump in his throat and held back the new tears that was starting to form, he needed to tell this story through; "He fell in and I jumped after. As soon as I stopped moving and was able to walk around in the flooded streets I did. I looked for him, but all I found were his glasses. At several points I thought I had finally found him, someone yelling about a trapped kid or seeing some kid that resembled him, but it was never him, always someone else I had freed or some other kid. I looked everywhere before someone suggested I try the VA hospital, so I went there and they told me to look amongst the bodies in the black tent", it was getting harder to fight the tears and he was getting exhausted, but he had to finish; "Then I called you, praying for a miracle. After you hung up Eddie saw me, I couldn't hide anywhere, he was asking me questions about Christopher and why I had his glasses", he sank another three lumps before continuing, "I was forced to tell him, and it was horrible seeing that grieving and emptiness that fell upon his face", he couldn't hold back the sobs or tears anymore, but it was almost over; "I tried to apologies, but he wasn't listening to me anymore, looking at something behind me, when he ran over there I turned to see Christopher safe. Then everything went dark, and next thing I remember is waking up to see you and Christopher". He was finished telling, now just crying, letting out three words before collapsing to the kitchen floor from exhaustion: "I lost him".