Chapter 45
Cruz opened the door to the apartment he and Otis shared with Brett.
"Halstead," he said, his face falling with relief. He stepped forward and before Jess had time to take a breath in preparation, Cruz had her engulfed in a huge bear hug, squeezing the air from her lungs.
Jess tried to reach up a hand to pat him reassuringly on the shoulder.
"Ok, there Cruz, time to let go of my fiancée," she heard Adam say.
She sucked in a deep breath when Cruz finally released her.
"Otis and I were just about to head over to your place and see how you were doing. Boden said you and Brett got the ok from the doctor to be released—"
"Is that Halstead?" came Otis' voice from inside the apartment. "Let her in, she shouldn't be standing!"
"I'm fine to stand," Jess started to argue, but it was lost as Adam herded her toward a seat, Otis and Cruz flanking her sides like she was about to tip over.
"Seriously, this is not—"
Her words were lost on the men and they got her ushered into the living room, plopped down on a comfortable recliner, and pulled the lever to lift the footrest, almost sending Jess over backwards.
Catching herself and staying upright, Jess met Sylvie's longsuffering look from the couch. Brett was ensconced on a nest of pillows, her injured arm elevated to an uncomfortable looking level. A can of Sprite with an umbrella perched jauntily on it rested near her.
While Otis and Cruz debated the height of Jess' footrest, and Adam found an extra throw pillow for under her legs, Jess noticed Brett had Casey hovering near her. He looked about as bad as Adam did this morning and Jess raised her eyebrows in question.
Sylvie cut a glance to Casey and then to Adam. "Rough night at Molly's," she commented.
Jess' lips quirked in a smile even as she batted away Cruz's attempt to put a pillow behind her head.
"Ok, thanks for your help guys, but I think Jess and I are about as comfortable as we can get," Brett said in exasperation.
They all paused in their ministrations, but just hovered awkwardly.
"I would really, really feel better if I could just have some peace and quiet. Maybe take a nap," Jess suggested.
Sylvie's eyes lit up and she nodded in agreement. "A nap and some girl talk."
Otis nodded and took a throw from the other chair in the room. "Good plan. You girls should get all the rest you can. We'll just be in the kitchen if you need anything."
Sylvie pressed her lips together, nonplussed. She lifted an eyebrow. "Fine. We'll start with girl talk. Jess, did the doctor say anything about the stress of yesterday impacting your monthly cycle?"
There was a quick scramble as the four men in the room stood and made their excuses of where they needed to go, promising to call and check in. Otis tossed the throw in Jess' general direction and it landed haphazardly over her legs.
Otis and Cruz almost got stuck in the doorway, trying to get out at the same time.
Casey moved more slowly. He looked Sylvie over, concern in his eyes well paired with the dark circles under them. "Do you need anything before we go? You have your phone nearby?"
Sylvie's smile softened, missing the exasperation she had with Cruz and Otis' fussing. "I can walk, Matt. I was shot in my arm."
He looked at her arm, exposed in a short sleeve t-shirt, a stark white bandage around her upper arm. He brushed fingers against her arm, lingering there a second. "I'll check in on you later," he said.
He started to withdraw his hand, but paused when Sylvie covered it with hers. "Thanks for everything, Matt."
Adam drew Jess' attention. "You weren't shot in the arm, and should be staying off your leg. You need anything?"
Jess shook her head. "Thanks for bringing me over to see Brett."
Adam bent down and kissed Jess. "Your partner is pretty good at clearing a room," he whispered against her ear, a smile in his voice.
He stood and looked between her and her partner. "I'd offer to get you two something, but I think you're pretty resourceful." But he did look at Jess, growing serious. "Call if you need anything."
Casey finally moved from Sylvie's side. He looked at Jess. "It's good to see you today, Halstead. You sure you're doing ok?"
Jess wished she wasn't tipped back in a recliner with her feet propped up on a pillow, blanket over her lap like an elderly woman. "I'm fine, Lieutenant," she assured him.
Casey nodded. "Boden will be checking in with you both later. He's going to go over the mandatory psych evaluation the department requires after a situation like yesterday."
Jess grimaced, but Adam caught her eye and winked. She didn't wink back. The idea of a psych eval didn't put her in a winking mood.
"I'll bring back lunch in a few hours," Adam said.
Jess waved her thanks. As soon as the apartment door closed behind them, she turned to Sylvie.
Sylvie was busy extricating herself from her throne of pillows, lowering her arm to a normal level. She rolled her shoulder and sighed in relief. "That was the most uncomfortable position ever," she muttered. Looking to Jess, she asked, "Do you want something to drink? Apparently, adding an umbrella to anything makes it more therapeutic. Or I'm guessing that was Otis' rationale."
Jess started to get out of her recliner.
"No, don't get up," Sylvie started, but Jess gave her a dark look and her partner didn't say anything else, though she did stay close to Jess as she hobbled to the kitchen with her.
Sylvie pulled out a stool for Jess at the breakfast bar and gave Jess her own look that didn't invite argument. Having Jess settled, she went to the fridge.
"So…Casey was looking rough at Molly's last night," Jess commented. "And I don't think he was drinking his worries about me away."
Sylvie very meticulously, too carefully with a level of concentration opening a can of pop didn't require, poured Jess' drink into a glass. Her ears turned pink, but suddenly she looked up at Jess. "What were you doing at Molly's last night?"
Shoot. Jess tried to shrug off Sylvie's question. "Adam was texting and I wanted to let him see I was ok."
Sylvie's eyes narrowed. "And you were at home when you got this text?"
Jess glanced down at her hands. "I was at a meeting."
Sylvie let out a long breath and sank onto the stool next to Jess. "I'm sorry. I should have thought…yesterday was…"
"Yeah," Jess answered, her voice strangled. She tried to clear her throat, but it came out as a choked sob instead.
Tears welled in Sylvie's eyes and she laid her hand on Jess' arm. She gave it a squeeze. "I couldn't sleep last night. I just kept picturing that kid with the gun pointed at me."
Jess bit her lip. She tasted blood. "I kept thinking I had to see Adam again. And I wasn't going to go down like this. But…"
Sylvie squeezed her eyes shut and Jess knew what was the thought torturing both of them.
"What if he hadn't been fast enough with the epi pens?" Jess finally said it. "What if we had killed those kids? I know Adam doesn't have any sympathy for them, but I just keep thinking how willing I was to risk their lives to save my own."
Sylvie nodded. "I know. I became a paramedic to save people. And then we…"
The only sound in the room was the humming of the refrigerator.
"But Jess, we would have died if you hadn't come up with that plan. It was self-defense," Sylvie said. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself.
"I…" Jess fought for a coherent thought amidst the jumble tangled in her mind. "I saw enough killing when I was deployed," she said, fisting her hands. "I never wanted to carry a gun again, or have to choose them or me. I just wanted to be a medic."
Sylvie sniffled and then leaned off her stool to wrap her arms around Jess. "I know," she said in a watery voice. Then let out a hiss off pain when she raised her injured arm awkwardly, which made Jess jerk back in concern and catch her balance on her bad leg. She bit back a cry of pain and leaned on the counter for support. Sylvie looked over at her, clutching her own gunshot wound.
"Halstead, we're a mess," she said, looking about two steps past pitiful with a red nose and puffy eyes.
Jess nodded, her small laugh mixing with a new round of tears. "I guess there's no way we'll convince Boden we don't need to talk to a psychiatrist," she said.
Sylvie let out her own teary laugh. "For what it's worth, I'm glad I was there with you."
Jess scrubbed at the tears that insisted on falling. "There's no one I would have rather been held hostage with and tried to kill than with you," she answered.
And then they didn't fight the tears, they let them fall, cleansing some of the guilt, lightening some of the memory.
#