Complicated Emotions

Summary: When Josslyn gets the news about Dev, she feels a whole mix of complicated emotions.

Author's Note: Another speculation fanfic set after the explosion that ended up being sort of canon with a twist. This time on how Josslyn might feel about Dev being hurt after how he treated she and Trina and what he said about Cam. Those feelings are bound to be a mixed bag.

Josslyn leaned into the wall for support as she gazed at Dev lying in the hospital bed looking smaller and paler than she'd ever seen him, especially with the bandages wrapped around his head. Scrapes and forming bruises covered one of his arms and she knew from what the doctor had told her family that he'd also broken some ribs. Her mother and stepfather were checking in with Jason who was fine except for some scratches, thankfully. Josslyn had opted to stay here for the moment, especially since she knew that her mom and Sonny were no doubt discussing something with her godfather that they wouldn't want her in the middle of.

Swallowing, she moved to take a seat next to Dev's bed, eyes roving over his face. She felt a whole bundle of emotions. She was still furious at Dev for his treatment of she and Trina and the way he'd talked about Cam. Now though, she also felt worry. Despite how horribly he'd behaved, he'd become important to her in the year he'd lived with she and her family. As angry as she was, she had never wished him harm. She chewed on her bottom lip hard enough to make it bleed before she lifted a hand from her lap and took his. "Hey Dev." She said quietly. "I'm still so mad at you for how you treated Trina and I. When you wake up-and you are going to wake up, we're going to have to talk about the things you said. The thing is, I never wanted this for you. Even as much as the things you said hurt. I still care about you. I wasn't lying when I said that. You really have become like a brother to me. And I know that's not what you want from me, but that and my friendship are all I can offer. So you need to wake up. We should be finishing our senior year together and graduating. We should be celebrating getting into the colleges and universities we wanted. You, me, Trina, and Cam. Just...please wake up." Her eyes widened when she felt fingers squeeze her own and she looked at Dev.

"I'm so sorry." He mumbled, voice raspy.

Josslyn leaned forward, smiling a little bit as she squeezed his hand back. "Shh...don't talk." She soothed, rubbing circles into his hand. "Whatever you need to say, you can say it later. I'm just glad you're awake. I'm going to go get a nurse."

Dev shook his head and pulled gently at Josslyn's hand. "No. Joss, I need you to listen to me. I was a dick to you and to Trina. I shouldn't have said the things I've said. You never treated me like garbage. You really became one of the best people I could've asked for and I screwed that up. I acted as if you were something to be owned and not your own person. I haven't been a good friend at all."

"Dev..." The blonde choked out. "Why are you talking like this?"

He continued on, not answering her question. His voice more ragged than it was before. "If you go into my room, you'll find your journal. The one you put in the dream box. I was angry that you kissed Cam and I wanted to drive a wedge between you two. I just...need you to know that I regret what I did. And I need you to know that none of it's on you." He coughed, grip on her hand loosening. "Just...please don't let yourself get like you were after Oscar died. I don't want that for you."

Josslyn's eyes widened, tears stinging them as she looked at Dev's much too still form. The heart monitor flatlined and a sob escaped her lips that she smothered with her hand, rocking slightly in her chair. She felt nurses and a docto in the room and could hear their voices calling out a time of death. She couldn't find it in herself to care though as she stared at her friend. She jumped slightly as she felt an arm on her shoulder and she looked up to see her Uncle Lucas looking at her sympathetically.

"How about we get out of here?" Lucas asked, still dressed in his lab coat as he helped his niece up gently. He led her from the room and out into the hallway where the girl immediately threw herself into his arms, her own wrapping around his waist as she sobbed into his shoulder. He just allowed her to do so, rubbing her back gently as he waited for Sonny and Carly to arrive. In the back of his mind, he couldn't help but think of how unfair life was.