Pitch dark, unknown hour. Silence.
It burns so much, needles deep in her hand veins.
Still sleepy, touching her face covered by that oxygen mask. Trying to remember.
The machine beeping sound, the little red and green lights from the monitor. Her veins burning.
Bad head ache that doesn't leave, the mask string has marked her skin. Somehow she feels at peace.
It might be the drugs effect, happiness, Chris breathing by her side, his arm resting on her stomach. She strokes it.
With some much love. Her muscles are all stiffed, persistent pain for days but it doesn't care. She smiles, happiness, joy.
Chris is in her mind, she's silently crying of joy. He's everything she needs. She didn't even imagined someone like him in the past.
"Chris, my lovely Chris. My everything, my love. I love you. Thanks for everything." That happiness is overwhelming, she cries even more.
"Chris I love you so much, I've got no words to describe it. I've never felt this lucky in my life. You've got no idea. I'm so happy."
She tries to whisper even though her voice is too broke by her crying. He moves in his sleep pushing his arm a little higher right near her breast.
Jill feels his heat, his sweet scent. All of that love, her love, his love. One of the best moments so far. Pain, discomfort, fear are still there but, somehow, that overwhelming love is dominant over all things.

Past 6 AM.
Chris wakes up, both of her hands are posed on his arm that is still wrapping her. He's concerned and just stares at Jill: the blonde long fringe at the side of her temples, her big eyes closed, lips barely visible under the blueish mask, that faded light blue ugly hospital pajama, the chest bandage pocking out of her cleavage, her poor hands pierced by needles and covered by white tape, tubes coming out from her clothes. He just sighs. Surgery day. Before the doctors come to take her he gets a shower and wears his nice clothes. A comfy dark grey tracksuit. Chris goes to her waking her up with kisses on her forehead. She slowly opens her puffy eyes, showing her smile through them.
"Chris!"
"Jill, it's a little bit early but I wanted to talk with you a little bit." His warm soothing voice, that hand on the side of her cheek.
"Tell me Chris."
Every word is lost. He smiles. She doesn't understand but she follows his smile.
"I just..."
Staring at those blue eyes that are staring at his dark green eyes. She's keeping his hand with both of her hands.
"This tracksuit looks so flattering on you." Jill makes him laugh. What a pleasure was seeing him well dressed.
"I just want you to be ok Jill."
"I feel so many different emotions here, I'm getting used to so many things. I feel week, I feel strong. Sometimes I'm so happy, sometimes... I want to die. Some many feelings inside of me. But you know what, if I'm with you I feel alright."
"I'm trying to keep you alive." Chris tells her. She's crying again.
"Chris you are amazing, it's not easy to deal with me right now. I feel like shit. I feel worthless, I feel like I'm wasting your time, I feel a waste of time. I'm doing my best at keeping myself reasonable but I just feel bad. I don't know why I keep thinking about these horrible thoughts..."
He's holding her sit, he's silently crying too.
"I feel bad as well. I feel the same things you feel. I don't feel enough for you. I feel worthless, I feel so stupid sometimes. I don't think I'm that, though. Our perception of ourself is damaged after the crazy lives we lived..."
They hold each other, they comfort each other.
"Chris..."
"Jill..."
"I love you..."
He hugs her tightly for almost an eternity.
The door is knocked, it's surgery time.
The nurses prepare her, they change her clothes and cover her hair, then she's carried to the operating room.
"Stay strong super Jill." He says before seeing her disappear behind the doors.
Chris waits outside sitting on the near chairs. Everything is going to be ok. He just knows it.
Meanwhile she's laying there under those blinding lights, everyone is so kind and sweet to her. The doctors calm her down from her anxiety reassuring her that everything will going well. She's counting down. Ten...nine...eight...seven...
He waits there, all alone. Wonderful memories of him and Jill come into his mind. When they first met at the office, Barry introduced her. That adorable figure of her was sorrounded by that cold blooded aura. Soon they became good friends, she told him about her life, he told her about his life with their shields down. That respect he started to have for her after she revealed her dark criminal past to him, the respect she had for him for growing up without parents and raising her sister alone. The way they felt outsiders in a world of people that knew their place. Eventually they found their place near each other. While working together they became closer, going to cinemas, concerts, staying at each other's house to chill and listen to music. They started to be the winning duo in the S.T.A.R.S. Department, their intuiton combined, the perfect formula. Wonderful years, they found their families in each other, with the other team's members as well. That feeling of satisfaction by living their lives serving the justice, Jill felt to be someone, Chris felt to be someone too. In '98 their lives completely changed, hard times after the Mansion incident. Zombie's flesh, monsters, the death of their teammates, Lisa Trevor, Wesker's betrayal, the end of humanity, Irons' betrayal. Nobody was at their side anymore, justice was nothing after Umbrella's huge amounts of money to keep everyone silent. They were alone but capable to do their own thing destroying Umbrella once for all after prooving their guilt. That was history for everyone, that was the start of a traumatic life for them. Never ending nightmares, never ending fear, panic attacks, loneliness. They just had each other.
"Chris, she's out. Everything went better than expected. She will be carried to intensive care to keep her monitored while she stabilizes."
"Finally."
Dr. Rebecca distracts him from his thoughts and he's glad by the news. While she takes him to the IC room they talk about the surgery.
"We obtained most of the tissues via syringe, with the exception of lungs and liver. Results are coming in a week."
"I'm glad you are assisting her, I trust you and I know you really care." Chris thanks Rebecca before she goes.
He's inside the room, Jill is covered by machine's thick tubes, oxygen mask once again, some other visible bandages. He takes her hand and waits exhausted for her awakening.
"Chris?" Her eyes explore that new room, Chris is sleeping on a small free edge of her bed still keeping her hand. She tries to move, bad idea. It hurst.
Those poor hands, they did nothing wrong and they're constantly pierced with new needles. Lucky for her the rest of her body doesn't hurt that much. Some kind of painkiller drug must be dripping from the infusion pump. She wants to wake him up by annoying him, pinching his cheeks, closing his nose in between her fingers causing him to wake up from the lack of air.
"What the fuck?! Hey, welcome back Jill."
There's no need to give up her annoying behaviour, she pinches him again. His response is locking that hand with his hands.
"Do you want to play? What kind of substance is injecting you right here, little Jilly?"
"I'm bored Chris, I want to laugh."
"How do you feel?" Chris is closer to her face, a couple of icy blue eyes are staring at him.
"Next question? Can we talk about something else?" Her sweet feeble voice is still able to let her sarcasm take over.
He smiles at her answer, his eyes are staring back at her eyes that are giving him the actual answer.
"So, Miss Valentine. Can you teach me some French?"
"French? I'm still drugged now. Let me think..."
"Even the swear words, don't worry about the content."
"The bad words? Salope is my favourite."
"You already told me this word, it means something like... whore?"
"Nice memory Redfield, what about... Je suis la femme plus belle?
"I didn't study that chapter, Madame Valentine."
"I said that I'm the most beautiful woman and, by the way, I'm not Madame Valentine but rather Mademoiselle Valentine."
"I wasn't trying to call you old, my mistake."
"Don't worry Chris, I'll forgive you if you bring me some good French strong red beer."
"Your beloved Démon? I'll give you a nice shot right into your veins."
"Merci, mon chérie. Sorry for that answer before, I feel quite ok. I always appreciate when you ask me if I'm good."
"I get it, do not apologize." Chris gently pats on her head. She smiles.
"I feel loved. I woke up in the middle of the night and I felt this overwhelming feeling of love, you were so close to me."
"I'm happy about it. Yesterday you had such a bad afternoon, do you remember?" Their hands intertwhined.
Jill takes her time to remember, looking down.
"You were crying, right? I had some complications."
"You had a nightmare, it caused you tachycardia, you fainted."
"Oh shit, yeah..."
"Tomorrow we're going to psychiatric visits if you'll feel good. Let's bet which mental issues they're going to diagnose us."
Jill start to count with her fingers.
"PTSD, both of us. I have anxiety, I don't think I'm depressed but maybe you are. Agoraphobia for me, Insomnia both of us."
"Me, depressed? Mmh..."
They sigh sad, hints of hope.
"Let's just think about today, not tomorrow. I hope we'll heal from everything.
"Yeah Jill, I agree."
"Anyway Chris, I think I've got a tube shoved in my south seas." Chris laughs his ass off, so she does.
"Do you like it?" He smirks.
"No but I like the idea of going to the bathroom without getting out of bed."
A nurse knocks and enters inside the room with the lunch, before going back she switches her mask with a simple nose tube.
Chris helps Jill eating her veggie soup with a spoon.
"It's not the best meal but at least you are eating something."
"Next time you have to bring me a greasy cheeseburger. It's nice that you can hear me well now by the way."
"Yeah, sure but first finish this healthy soup."
"What are you going to eat Chris?"
"A greasy cheeseburger."
Jill shows him a sad pout.
"And you are going to eat it in front of me, right?"
"If you want me to stay here yes, you'll have to watch me eat that then."
"If you want to go just go. Go sleep at your home tonight. You need to rest properly."
She's right but he doesn't like the idea of staying away from her.
"Mmh, I'll think about it." He gaves her the last spoon of soup, after tidying everything he drags the little tray outside the door.
"Come close here Chris." Jill catches his attention. Chris pulls the chair near her bed and he sits there.
"Yeah?"
"Nothing." She says, melancholic blue eyes and a half smile.
"Tell me." Sweet kiss on her left cheek.
"Cuddle me before you go."
"Of course Jill, even though these wires and tubes are all over you." He makes himself way. Hugging her, stroking her, pampering her, kissing her.
She grabs his arms to keep him even closer, trying to hug him as well without hurting herself.
"I love the way you look today."
"Thanks, it's very comfortable as well. I think I'll go now, I'm hungry and I need some rest." Before leaving he puts off his sweater and lays it on her.
Jill really appreciates that gesture, she will feel less lonely and a little warmer.
"Take care, Chris."
"Sure I'll take care. Take my phone so we can talk when I'm home."
"Thank you, bye bye." They kiss and hug then he leaves.
Jill checks the new Blackberry he gave her. First of all she looks for the pictures: dogs, landscapes, then she finds some very old pictures of her and him together, probably from '97. In one of these it's the 4th of July, they were dining at McDonalds both smiling with their one liter drinks. Happy days. There's also a very desaturated picture of his family before the car crash, Claire is newborn and Chris must be five. He's so cute, she smiles tenderly. After that she checks the music: Linking Park, Oasis, Queen, Smashing Pumpkins, Red Hot Chilli Peppers. She just stops going forward and listens to Californication. Memories are just passing by. The next song is Scar Tissue. All the songs they'd listen to while recovering from missions. Such precious memories. That's just wonderful, street lights after midnight, the smell of rain and fast food, that general hospital they went to after returning home from mission. What a dejavu, it just happened again. It's time to nap, what an exhausting day. The music is still on with a lower volume, just to keep herself company while she waits to fall asleep.
The phone is ringing, the tune is I Want It All by Queen, 4.34 PM
"Hey Chris."
"Hey Jill, did I wake you up?"
"Yeah but don't worry, did you eat?"
"Yeah, I ate rice and chicken. No greasy cheeseburgers until you're out."
"Ahahah Chris! Don't tell me I forbid you to eat junk food."
"No Jill, no. That stuff is bad and if I have to indulge I don't want to be alone."
"Fine, just wait then."
"How do you feel?"
"I'm ok, I feel slightly better."
"Wonderful, glad to hear that."
"What about you, what are doing?"
"I'm just organizing stuff, tidying my home. Stuff like that."
"Are you coming here later?"
"I'm tired, sorry. Do you mind if I come tomorrow morning?"
"It's ok, don't worry. I was the first one to tell you to stay home."
"Yeah I know but I wanted to stay with you a little bit more after lunch."
"Take some time for yourself, a nice bubbly bath, a nice shave."
"Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks for the advice."
"You're welcome. I would love to have a nice bath..."
"I know, be a little patient."
"Yeah Chris. Anyway, I'm starting to feel that terrible headache again. I'll call you later, I'm going to sleep now."
"Don't overdo things, rest whenever you feel you need it. Have nice dreams."
"I was listening to your songs before falling asleep and it helped."
"That's cool Jill, you listened to Red Hot right?"
"Of course Chris, I'm out now."
"Love you Jill."
"Love you Chris, kisses."
"Kisses."
Jill turns on the music again lowering the volume almost at zero, trying to catch a good sleep despite the headache and the general pain she feels.
Outside is getting darker, the sky shades are changing quickly to dark blue. She brings Chris' sweater closer to her feeling its scent, its softness. One lonely night, all by herself. Time to make peace with her mind. Darkness, silence interrupted by that beeping sounds. She hopes he's okay, he needs to rest and some time with himself to process his thoughts in peace, just like her. If that was a lucky night they would have no nighmares. As much as he tries to be the strong one to help her she just knows he's devastated. The thought of him alone, loudly crying on his pillow haunted by his fears, makes her wanting to escape from that bed. Flashbacks from Africa in her mind, analyzing them from an outside perspective, with the consciousness of being in a safe space. Relief from the past, fear for the future. Was she free from everything, once and for all? Fear of the biopsy results.
Jill wakes up, it's 11.28 PM.
She calls him.
"..."
"Jill, are you still awake?"
"I just woke up, wanted to check if you're okay."
"Don't worry about me. I made myself chamomille."
"Trouble sleeping?"
"Yeah, I'm overthinking."
"Want some company?"
"I'm okay, please rest. You had such a day."
"I know you're lying. I'm okay, I'm listening."
"My God, Jill..."
"Chris. Tell me everything."
"..."
"What are you thinking about?"
"The future scares me, I cannot..."
"Don't feel bad 'cause you're crying. Tell me."
"I don't know, I just want to sleep. I'm tired."
"I know, I know."
"I'm sorry..."
"It's not our fault, I'm repeating this in my head."
"I feel responsable for so many things..."
"They treated us worse than insects, making us think we're guilty and worthless."
"..."
"Chris..."
"Dammit..."
"It's not easy to get over it..."
"Don't cry."
"I'm ok."
"Hearing that you were called futile, I just wanted to smash everything."
"Mmh..."
"We're gonna make it. Let's wipe our tears out now."
"Yeah, I'm doing it."
"Same here..."
"I've gotta an idea, talk about something cool we did back in the days."
"Mmh, when we got drunk at work?"
"I loved that night! So much fun."
"All those beers, it was past 3 AM. Not even able to stop laughing like crazy, imagine doing overtime at the office."
"I wasn't able to read the email I was writing for that another department, remember?"
"Of course, you asked me to check the grammar and the content but then you dropped your head on the keyboard..."
"And you just sent it instead of deleting it."
"I was to drunk to understand how to do that."
"I still have all those photos we did that night ahahah."
"That night was crazy. I dragged you to Claire's car 'cause you didn't wanted to leave the chair.
"I barely remember that."
"You we're punching me, I handcuffed you somehow and I lifted you. We both fell right after. Ask Claire. She had to drive us home while we were singing Sweet Home Alabama out of tune. What a mess. Once arrived home I fell down the stairs and I had to climb those by hands."
"And then?"
"If I remember well Claire dragged you to the bathroom and you puke into the toilet. She was disgusted but kept your hair behind. Then we probably passed out..."
"Mmh, Chris. I'm basically sleeping now, have a good night."
"Thanks for calling me, see ya tomorrow."