A/N I wrote this shortly after I wrote the Problem with Food, but for some reason I have never uploaded it until now. It's a one-shot and will not be expanded, but it's a bit of fun if you want to see a bit more of the Andrew Cokeworth universe. I hope you enjoy it!
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Harry walked through the Ministry in a daze. He had been sent a letter the day after he turned seventeen informing him that a prophecy had been made concerning him and it was available for his collection at any time. He hadn't told Andrew but he had gone to get it. Now, with it sitting in his pocket he didn't know what to do. He was destined to defeat Lord Voldemort. In fact he was the only one who could defeat him. Harry knew he was good at magic, knew that he maybe even stood a chance on a one on one fight with the madman, but it wouldn't be a fair fight and sure as hell it wouldn't be one on one. He was going to have to tell Andrew about it, there was no other way, and he was not looking forward to that. Not one bit. The man would go crazy.
As predicted Andrew was utterly furious, totally terrified and thoroughly confused all at once. It did not make for a pretty sight. He layered spell after spell onto the boy and then banished him to his room, warding the door so forcefully that it would take even Harry half an hour to break through.
Over the next few days Harry found out the nature of the spells Andrew had cast on him. Most of them were monitoring spells for various different parts of his anatomy - heart function, magic function, lung function, it seemed Andrew could say more about Harry than Harry could himself and it was damned annoying every time the man popped up to ask if he was alright. One was a tethering spell, so Harry couldn't leave the grounds of their house unless Andrew was with him and the most galling of all was a magic restriction. He could do most of his usual spells but he couldn't get to the power he had before.
"Why have you blocked my magic?" Harry accused one day.
"It's not blocked, merely restricted to prevent you from doing something stupid like going after Voldemort."
"Not bloody likely when I can't even leave the house. What if he comes here? What then? I'll need all my magic to fight him."
"The wards surrounding this property are fatal to anyone with malicious intentions. He cannot get in believe me. Besides you will not be fighting him anyway, not if I have anything to do with it."
Harry sighed. During the third task of the Triwizard Tournament Harry had reached the cup first but his magic screamed danger at him. Thus he'd scanned the cup and removed the portkey before thrusting himself high in the sky, refusing to touch the damn thing. That had scotched the madman's plans good and proper. Alas he had still achieved a body a year or so later when one rogue dream passed through Harry's occlumency shields, but nothing had been seen of him at all. Only the bizarre collection of deaths and freak accidents gave any clue to his existence at all. It seemed like Andrew was actually carrying out his promise to keep Harry out of the way.
"Fine. I'm going to bed."
"Night."
Andrew was worried about this latest situation Harry found himself in. Everyone he spoke to said that Voldemort would attack openly any day. He had been biding his time long enough. When he did it was going to be bloody and brutal and he would come looking for Harry. Harry would be right in the thick of it and there was nothing that Andrew could do to stop it. He would have to let the boy fight, and he was after all of-age, but he would damn well place on him every monitoring spell he knew, several emergency portkeys and a full squadron of aurors behind him. Under no circumstances was Harry going into this in his own.
Andrew could be a very persuasive man when he wanted to be and after countless meetings, briefings and retellings of the same story over and over he had got what he wanted. Four twenty four hour bodyguards and then come the battle another dozen aurors whose sole job was to protect Harry at all costs. The additional eighty firepower for the battle was good to have but as long as Harry was safe that was all that mattered.
At last the call came that said an attack from Voldemort was imminent. The source could not be any more specific than that but the target was said to be Hogwarts itself. The teams decided to camp in the mountains close to the Hogwarts grounds and wait. Imminently could not be that long.
It was too long for Harry. After just the first night Andrew had sent him a patronus reminding him to eat and sleep because he hadn't done enough of either that day. Then came the order to relax a bit and not be so tense, then to make sure that he drank enough so as not to get dehydrated. Harry of course ignored all of these, too busy focused on practising his attacks and defence with the aurors. The messages got more frantic as the days went on and just as Andrew was about to order the team to evacuate and seek medical assistance, Death Eaters were spotted just outside the huge iron gates to the castle's grounds.
"Operation Panda go!" was the cry from the leader.
They all apparated into Hogwarts as one and Andrew's patronus arrived just as they did. Harry only listened to the first couple of words before throwing his arms wide, chest out and his head back as if he was about to explode in a tower of light. He glowed for a moment as his magic thrummed through him, then straightened up, coughed once, pulled down his jumper and continued his walk forwards.
Harry's actions threw Andrew backwards as all the wards sent their alarms at once. The spells he had used were supposedly tamper proof so the patient could not remove or meddle with them but the inventor had obviously not met Harry. Andrew glanced up at the screen showing Harry's stats and found everything flat lined. Even the magic measure only showed a huge spike before going flat. What had happened? Had they been attacked already? Why were none of the others worried about what was happening? Why hadn't any of Harry's portkeys triggered? They were set to go automatically on various conditions. He hurried over to the screen showing an aerial view of the Hogwarts grounds but could see no sign of chaos. Had he been captured then? Andrew tried to activate one of Harry's portkeys remotely, but nothing happened.
"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" he finally bellowed to the room at large. "Where is my son?"
"He's there Andrew. Surrounded by his auror guard." A bespectacled man pointed at the screen where a huddle of people was moving.
"I... see..." Andrew said slowly. "Please inform me as soon as anything changes."
Meanwhile in the field Harry was becoming bored. He was completely surrounded and not permitted to do anything until Voldemort was spotted. Not shields, not anything. He was "too important". Harry snorted. Too young more like and they were too afraid of receiving Andrew's wrath for not taking care of him properly. He was seventeen, he could make his own decisions.
He began playing with the magic of his monitoring spells. He hadn't removed them before, just flooded them with so much magic that they had all overloaded at once, including the portkeys. Now he thought he might see what patterns he could create until he could actually do something useful.
Out of the corner of his eye Andrew noticed a flicker on the medical stats screen. He turned round to see the heart rate monitor bouncing all over the shop and the updating diagnostic charm changing so fast it made Andrew almost nauseous to watch it. The magic monitor was still flat and according to the charms Harry's was using five hundred percent of his lung capacity. If you squinted a bit you could almost imagine the collection of lines and squiggles spelt out the word "HI".
A sudden cry attracted Andrew's attention and he hurried back over to the other screen.
"Man down."
"Who?" Andrew demanded.
"Unknown as yet."
Harry's group had stopped moving he realised. They were all facing outwards, protecting something in the middle. Through a set of legs Andrew saw a mop of black hair.
"HARRY!" he screamed at the screen. "Harry when you wake up you're getting the scolding of your life. If you wake up" he added through a sob.
"Andrew?" a calm voice questioned.
"J-Jeff?" Andrew sniffed.
"Come on, you're doing no good here."
"I can't leave Jeff. What if he's hurt, what if he needs me?"
"You're in no state to treat him now and besides you don't even know if that really was him."
"But his guard-"
"Shh. You know Harry can do anything he puts his mind to. If he wanted out of that circle, he'd get out. Even with his magic bound, blindfolded and with his arms tied behind his back he'd get out somehow. I say we go outside and wait until one of these chaps tells us it's all over. Won't you Graham?"
The indicated Graham nodded once without taking his eyes off the screen. Jeff understood and quietly lead Andrew away from the operation control room.
Harry had spotted Voldemort before anyone else. The wizard was cleverly hiding from sight but hadn't thought to mask his magic and so Harry could pick him out easily. Needing a big distraction to escape his guard and engage the man, Harry could only think of one thing: his own falling. He stumbled once or twice and then fell, creating a solid illusion of himself as he did. By the time anyone had got to him he'd disappeared, leaving just the unmoving illusion.
Harry didn't have a plan about what to do in this situation, but his playing with Andrew's spells gave him an idea. Throw enough magic at anything and it will fail. He dropped down, silent and invisible behind the dark lord, placed his palms almost touching the bald head and let loose. Voldemort didn't even have time to turn when he felt the impact, let alone counter-attack. He could only gasp as his magical core overfilled and exploded.
Harry gasped as well, dropping down onto all fours. That had taken more energy than he'd expected. He was covered in blood and goo and he would like nothing more than a hot bath and to sleep for a week. But if he disappeared now, the aurors guarding would get it in the neck, probably more than just a lecture from Andrew and they'd been good sports really. But he really hated apparating and levitating himself took too much energy right now.
"Sooty?" he called softly.
"Master Harry is calling Sooty?" the little elf asked eagerly.
"Please could you take me to that circle of people over there? Inside it."
"Yes Master Harry of course."
A pop announced the re-arrival of Harry and everyone spun to meet it. Seeing who it was, a couple of aurors fainted and most of the rest stared.
"We were told to expect the unexpected" one auror commented drily. "Orders were however to return as soon as any injury to our charge was suspected. Given his current state and his unique reappearance, I would say that retreat is the best option right now. I, for one, do not wish to face an irate protective Healer for not heeding his orders."
"It's done" Harry gasped out from the floor. "Voldemort is gone."
There was a chorus of "what?" and "are you sure?" that followed.
"Yeah. Over there somewhere." Harry pointed in the general direction of where he'd come from. "Exploded."
"Right. You and you with me. The rest of you go and check out Harry's claim." The lead auror quickly divided up the tasks and then disapparated with his now unconscious passenger.
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Andrew had been waiting for what felt like days for news but when it came it made his heart sink.
"Raven retreat" said the voice of the patronus.
That meant that Harry had indeed been injured.
"Come on" Jeff said pulling his friend up. "Best to get this over with now."
Andrew was casting his diagnostic practically before he'd got in the room. When he read the result he sank to the floor in relief.
"Magical exhaustion. It's just magical exhaustion."
Jeff let his friend take a few moments whilst he ran his own set of scans. He relaxed a touch when he found nothing that couldn't be healed with some good sleep and a couple of potions. He turned back to Andrew to tell him the good news and found him standing with his shoulders squared, eyes blazing, and a very determined and fierce look on his face.
"I told him what would happen if he messed with his health on purpose again. If he gets away with this he'll think he can do anything and then we'll never be able to tell what's real and what's not."
"Andrew calm down. What are you suggesting?"
"Take a look at these" Andrew said, passing over Harry's medical records from earlier in the day.
"Andrew, these make no sense. A human heart simply cannot do what this chart suggests without exploding. And according to this his kidneys switch from total peak efficiency to completely dysfunctional and back again in the space of eight minutes. That's not possible."
"Precisely. Yet these are valid monitoring transcripts, and can only write the information they are given. Since, as you say, a lot of this is anatomically impossible, something else must have interfered with the monitoring magic as it was monitoring."
"Well we know Harry can do a lot of things we can't. Ah." A light clicked on in Jeff's brain.
"If this was anybody else, we'd be on auto-immune, probably considering magical leukaemia at this point, with this evidence."
"Yeeeees... but I trust you're not going to put Harry through a magic irradiation treatment."
"Of course not. But I damn well intend to make him think so."
Jeff sighed and shook his head. "He's your boy Andrew. Who am I to interfere with your parenting strategies. Let me know what you want me to sign off, within reason. As you say, you have the evidence."
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Harry groaned as he woke. Ugh it was too bright in here. As he groggily opened his eyes he heard a voice next to him.
"Harry?"
"Andrew?" Harry croaked back. "What happened?"
"I was hoping you'd tell me what gave you magical exhaustion Harry. May I?"
Harry nodded and closed his eyes, feeling the spell sweep through him, following the magic to every place on his body absentmindedly.
"Harry what have I said about sensing during diagnostics!"
"Sorry, I forgot."
"Especially when I've already told you you're magically exhausted. You'll do yourself some serious damage someday. There's a couple of potions here for you and then we need to talk."
Harry downed the potions with a grimace.
"Good boy. Do you know how you exhausted yourself this time?"
"I exploded Voldemort. Took more magic than I thought."
Harry shrugged as if to say "so what? No big deal."
"Magical exhaustion is very serious Harry. Absolutely no magic until either Jeff or I clear you, understand?"
Harry pouted. "Yes Andrew."
"Did your magic feel out of control at any time whilst you were at Hogwarts?"
"No, never. Why?"
"Nothing for you to worry about, we'll talk about it when you feel better. For now, you need to sleep as much as possible to recover. If you need either me or Jeff, just ask one of the nurses and they'll send for us."
He'd wait until Harry was actually recovered before he started phase two of his plan.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Morning Harry" Jeff greeted Harry several days later.
"Morning Jeff. I feel loads better this morning, can I go?"
Jeff chuckled a little. "I'm afraid not quite yet Harry. Andrew and I have found some concerning things on your stats that we need to check out before you can go. May I?"
"Of course."
Jeff studied the parchment as it was created.
"Hmmmm. Can I have your arm please Harry?"
"My arm? Why?"
"I need to take some blood to test and I'll need you to take your shirt off too."
"What for?"
"Your heart rate is all over the place. I'd like to check it properly."
Jeff noted down a few things on the clipboard at the end of Harry's bed once he'd finished checking Harry over.
"Rest as much as you can, and no magic please. Andrew'll be by later but get someone to get us if you need, okay?"
"What's the matter with me Jeff?"
"You need to rest Harry. Not worry. Sleep is the best healer."
Jeff ruffled Harry's hair slightly and left.
Harry had not been able to stop thinking about it all afternoon and he had certainly got no sleep. When Andrew came, he fairly pounced on him.
"Andrew what is it? Why won't you tell me?"
"Good evening Harry. May I?"
Harry waved his hand dismissively.
"So?" Harry asked when Andrew was finished with the spell.
"I don't want to tell you before we know for sure. "
"But..."
"But nothing Harry. Just leave it another day. We'll have the results back in the morning and we'll be able to tell you then. I'd like to monitor your heart rhythm whilst you sleep tonight just to be sure though."
It was Jeff who came to see him in the morning. He was carrying a sheaf of papers and looking very serious.
"Good morning Harry. How do you feel this morning?"
"Pretty good. Bored."
"Well perhaps I can find you a book to read. We got the results of your blood tests back but it seems they created more questions than answers. You remember Andrew sending you messages about looking after yourself whilst you were at Hogwarts recently?"
Harry nodded, sitting up further in the bed.
"On the day of the attack, he sent out an evacuation request which was promptly ignored by everyone. Shortly afterwards all of the monitoring spells went haywire. Careful inspection of these spells shows that they were giving readings that are not actually possible to achieve in a living human. You stumble and fall in the midst of a group of people, disappear, and then suddenly you appear again, covered in blood and with a house elf. Five minutes later we receive a call to say you had been removed, injured, from the battlefield and find you suffering from severe magical exhaustion. Are you with me so far?"
"Mmhmm."
"Good. The problem we have with this is that the monitoring spells that Andrew used are specifically protected against being tampered with by the patient. The only other times something like this has happened, it's been when the patient's magic has started attacking itself and thus thrown any other magic nearby into chaos as well. This ties is very neatly with what we've seen with you so far, except that the blood tests aren't showing what we'd expect if this was the case."
"That actually makes sense. I got really annoyed with all the patroni Andrew was sending so I flooded everything with magic to get rid of the monitors. Later on I was bored and when I realised they were still there I thought they would be fun to play with."
"But you can't do that. It's not possible."
"Want to bet?" Harry asked cheekily.
"No. Whilst the blood tests don't confirm what happened was caused by a magical cancer, they don't deny it either."
"Wait, cancer?!" Harry splurted. "Don't people die from that? You just said magic attacking itself earlier."
"The very definition of magical cancer. People can die from it, yes, if the disease is not treated in time, but that very rarely happens now."
"I made it do that though. It wasn't anything bad, it was just me."
"Harry I don't know half of the stuff you can do. All I can do is make a call based on the evidence I have and previous similar cases. Given what's at stake here, I can hardly use inconclusive blood tests as a reason to stop treatment. If you were discovered to be wrong and then we were then too late to stop it, what would you do then? Would you shout at me for not doing more to save you? Andrew would. Would you wear yourself down to exhaustion hunting for a cure that's almost certainly not there? Andrew would. Would you lie awake at night, repeatedly going over what ifs? Would you forever bear the guilt of allowing your death to happen? Both Andrew and I would. So I'm sorry Harry but I can't just accept your word on this one. If you'd just wanted to annoy Andrew in response there were many other ways rather than using your own health to do so."
"Sorry Jeff" Harry muttered, hanging his head. "So what happens next?"
"There's one test that will give us a definite yes or no answer. The only thing is, if the answer comes back yes we have to start treatment right away. Do you understand?"
Harry nodded.
"The treatment is a magical irradiation. Basically it kills the bad bits of magic so they can't spread any more and do any more damage."
"But?" Harry queried.
"Oh Harry. Must you always want the bad news?" Jeff quipped with a half smile. "It is not exclusive to the cancer. It's likely some of your magic will also be removed and it will certainly be unstable for a while."
"How long?"
Jeff sighed. "A year, possibly two. Maybe more if there's complications."
"But that's just if this test thing says a definite yes right?"
"Correct."
"So what's the test?"
"We have to take a biopsy of your magic and then we can check it."
"I didn't know you could do that! You can take out someone's magic?"
"It's not a very pleasant technique, but yes. It's the only way to know for sure."
"I understand. What happens?"
"We have to make sure the magic in you is yours alone, so first you'll have to be moved into in a warded room for a week. Then we can perform what's called a lumbar puncture and then we can extract your magic from the spinal fluid. All told we should know for sure what's going on with you in about another ten days."
"Where's Andrew Jeff?"
"I think he's in his office. Do you want him?"
"Yes please."
"OK, I'll get him for you. We'll aim to get you moved across tonight so we can get going as soon as possible, is that alright?"
Harry just stared at the wall and didn't respond.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Jeff stormed into Andrew's office with a face like thunder. Harry's defeated look had Jeff almost going back there right now to explain.
"That's the hardest thing I've ever had to do Andrew. Don't you ever ask me to do anything like that again."
"I know Jeff-"
"No, I don't think you do. I've just had to lie straight faced to a kid and tell him I think he might have cancer when I know damn well he does not! It's not just a runny nose or flu Andrew, you'd better have a bloody good plan why you're putting him through this, something better than your usual overprotectiveness."
"The evidence-"
"DAMN THE EVIDENCE!" Jeff roared. "You know as well as I do that Harry can change anything he wants! You think the boy who took an AK to the chest and then asked who'd died, the boy who can decode any duelling spell on the fly and send it back to the caster, the boy who apparently apparated behind Voldemort and then literally exploded him can't get round the measly anti-tampering device on a monitoring spell? I think not. He wants to see you, and I'd have some comforting words lined up. He's scared."
Andrew took off out of the office without a backward glance.
"Harry?" Andrew called softly when he arrived at the boy's bedside.
Harry looked up, saw his guardian there and launched himself into the man's arms.
"Shhh it's alright" Andrew whispered through his hold into Harry's hair. "It'll be alright."
"I'm so sorry, so sorry" Harry babbled. The tear stricken face rose to meet Andrew's and as they locked gazes Andrew could see the confusion, the fear and the remorse plainly written there.
"Sorry for what Harry?"
"For making you worry. I was annoyed and bored. Sorry."
Andrew cupped Harry's chin and gently lifted it, forcing him to look up.
"I believe I once said that should you ever use your own health to hurt me again I would have to find the cause of your injuries. It is just your bad luck that you picked a very serious condition to imitate."
"Sorry Andrew, I didn't think."
"No, you didn't. And that's why I have a lot of paperwork showing you to be very ill indeed and Jeff having to be the one to act on that. Unfortunately there's nothing we can do to make this any easier on you right now and to be frank I'm not sure I would even if there was. The scans you produced with your "playing" come too close to documented case results to be dismissed out of hand and there is an extremely tiny chance that there is something going on that shouldn't be. We just can't take that risk, do you understand?"
"Yes Andrew."
"It will be over soon. I fully expect this test to come back negative and then we can all go home and laugh about it. Just to warn you though, the room is extremely sensitive to changes in magic and it will respond to anything you do. If you try and change anything it will record it and that is likely to send the results not in your favour. If this test comes back positive Harry, you've just doomed yourself to relearning most of your magic. Let the test run without your intervention and it will come back negative."
Harry nodded and sniffed, the tears once more falling down his face. Andrew drew him into a hug and the two stayed that way until Jeff found them.
"We're ready to go" he said.
The two healers pushed Harry through the hospital until they came to a completely different wing. It was locked, not by a spell but by a simple muggle codepad.
"C,16,75,X" Andrew muttered as he pushed in the right numbers and opened the door.
"Good evening gentlemen" a nurse greeted them brightly. "I hear you're coming to stay with us for a bit Harry."
"Errrr" Harry replied.
"Not to worry, we'll have you settled in in no time."
"You what?" Harry spluttered. "I'm seventeen, not five!"
"Andrew did you mention to Harry about visitors?" Jeff asked sharply.
"I thought you had done."
"Ah. Just give us a sec?" Jeff asked to the nurse.
"Certainly, take as long as you want."
"I suppose you're about to say you can't visit me now?" Harry asked with a sigh.
"There is a window where we can see each other and microphones so we can talk, but we can't actually visit you no. Our magic coming and going would disrupt the sensors" Jeff said gently.
"OK. I guess I'll see you in a week then."
"Be strong Harry. It'll be fine" Andrew added.
They beckoned the nurse back and watched as Harry was wheeled off down the corridor.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
That week seemed to go on forever for Harry. Everything he'd got with him had been taken away at the start and he was given thin cotton pyjamas to wear. Then it seemed like he never got a moment to himself, there was always someone coming to take his temperature or do another blood test or something. Harry was sure that the nurses planned it so that he got just enough time to settle down again and then the next one would come. The constant beep of the machines attached to him and the drip annoyed him to no end as well, he could feel the needle shift slightly every time he moved his hand. Even the conversations through the window with Andrew he was allowed didn't alleviate his restlessness. They were broadcast to the whole room and frequently interrupted by the nurses.
Finally the week passed. Harry was dreading the procedure to come but he couldn't wait for it to be over. During the past week he had realised that Andrew and Jeff really couldn't have done anything else without compromising their professional integrity. If anyone had found out what had happened both men would have had to answer some extremely awkward questions. And he had messed with his health under Andrew's watch: the one thing Andrew had told him never to do.
Harry was brought out of his musing by the entrance of two people. One of them Harry recognised as a nurse, but the other, a gentleman in a long white Healer's robe, with an angular face, light grey eyes and a tidy goatee beard, Harry had never seen before.
"How are you doing this morning Harry?" the Healer asked. "I'm Healer Jonson and I'll be performing your lumbar puncture today."
"Hello sir" Harry replied.
"Ever had one of these before?"
"No sir."
"Not to worry. We'll give you a quick check over, then numb a bit of your back, needle in, needle out, job done."
Healer Jonson was as good as his word and it wasn't long before it was all over and Harry was left to rest.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It was the following day when Andrew got the knock on his door he'd been dreading.
"Come" he called.
The door opened and Jeff stood there, grim faced.
"I've got Harry's test results back" Jeff said before Andrew could open his mouth.
"And?" Andrew asked, worry churning in his gut.
"I think you'd better see for yourself" Jeff replied seriously.
Andrew took the paper from Jeff's outstretched hand shakily. He took a deep breath, let it out and then let his eyes scan the page.
"Results for Harry James Potter, lumbar puncture, magic test, magic level high, biopsy result pos...itive for abnormalities."
Andrew stared at the paper in his hands, unseeing. His boy had magical cancer. How was he ever going to break that news to him? How would Harry take it? He was only a boy, he didn't deserve to spend the next two years in and out of hospital unable to do any of the things he loved. Andrew barely recognised Jeff take the offending sheet from his hands and continue to read it out.
"Small levels of foreign magic detected, condition benign. Treatment not recommended." Jeff put down the report and went up to his shocked friend. "He's not got it Andrew, he's healthy." There was no response. "Andrew? Earth to Andrew!"
Still no response.
Jeff sighed. The other man still hadn't processed the word "positive".
"Andrew Cokeworth if you don't look at me in the next five seconds you'll get a calming draught down your neck so fast, it'll come back up again" Jeff said sharply. "Look at me. Now."
Andrew's head turned slowly towards Jeff's, the helplessness and fear plain to see. Jeff shoved the report back into his friend's hands.
"You need to read the rest of this. Harry's healthy."
Andrew opened and closed his mouth a few times as Jeff's words punctured his foggy brain. Then he grabbed the paper ferociously and began reading again like a man possessed. As he finished it slipped through his fingers and fluttered to the floor.
"He's okay. He's really okay."
"He is. You're taking the rest of the day off and you are going to spend it with him at home. You need time together to get over this and be good friends again."
"But-"
"Do it or I'll admit you again with symptoms of shock." Jeff interrupted. "Imagine how that would go down with Harry right now. Go get him and go home. I'll be by later to see you both."
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It was a few days before mention of Voldemort came up again. Harry was cooking dinner when Andrew entered with a dark skinned Auror. Harry recognised him as Kingsley Shacklebolt, one of the men assigned to guard him during the Hogwarts attack.
"Evening Kingsley" he greeted. "Staying for dinner?"
"On official business sorry Harry. Can you break off to chat?"
"Let me just bung this in the oven and I'm all yours."
A couple of minutes later Harry wandered across to the kitchen table where Kingsley was seated.
"Now then, what can I do you for?"
"It's about Voldemort Harry. You say you killed him but we scoured that hillside and we couldn't find anything, using magic or otherwise. There's no trace of him and calling a death without a body is very reminiscent of that Halloween."
"If you're asking is he really dead, the answer is a most definite yes. He quite literally exploded over me."
"That blood was his?" Andrew gasped. "Jeff and I could not come up with a way how you'd got that much on you with no discernible wound."
"I think there was more than just blood. It smelled like there was mushed organ and everything. The bones probably got shattered so much they blew away before your guys got there."
"Urgh Harry! I did not need that mental image!" Kingsley laughed. "But seriously, how do you know this? None of the aurors could even detect him let alone beat him."
"He didn't think to mask his magic. I apparated next to him and threw magic at him until his core overloaded and exploded. Anything fails if you feed enough magic into it. Including monitoring charms and wannabe Dark Lords."
"Yes I have you to blame for Jeff forcing me to take more time off work" Andrew quipped, seeing Harry's smirk.
"And you also have me to thank that you can spend it here rather than under his watch" Harry quipped back. "With regards to Moldy Shorts he's dead. If you can't announce that without a body then you'll just have to leave it. Let everyone think he's lying low for a bit - gives you an excuse to keep the funding for the Auror Corps up I'm sure. Probably be good for everyone anyway, we don't want someone to hop straight in to the power vacuum he left now do we?"
Kingsley chuckled. "Indeed not. Perhaps we can go down the route that he sustained injuries but we cannot be certain as whether any of his injuries were fatal. There is a great mass of magical residue in the area, giving credence to a short but brutal duel occurring. However given previous experience with this wizard, without a body his death cannot be believed entirely nor his return at some time in the future totally discounted."
"Sounds good to me" said Harry, getting up and wandering over to the oven. "Andrew?"
"Anything that makes you happy."
"Wonderful. We will release a press release to that effect then. I'll leave you two gentlemen to enjoy Harry's wonderful cooking now. Have a pleasant evening."
"You too Kingsley thanks!" Harry called out.
As Harry was serving out the dinner he snorted lightly as an amusing thought crossed his mind.
"What's tickled you this time?" Andrew asked with a chuckle.
"ANYTHING that makes me happy?"
Andrew let his head fall against the table. What on earth had he got himself into? But, he decided, he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Well I'm not offering to have sex with you, but other than that, try me" he replied with a wink.
The beet red colour of Harry's face at that moment was better than anything he had hoped for. Chuckling madly Andrew picked up his fork and dug in.